


We Can't Be Friends

by Nycxnolita



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: F/M, Harry Styles - Freeform, one direction - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-11
Updated: 2019-01-22
Packaged: 2019-07-10 21:14:58
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 37
Words: 119,330
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15957689
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nycxnolita/pseuds/Nycxnolita
Summary: " Harry," she said softly, turning her head to him."Yeah?" He asked, just as quiet."We... we're not gonna be very good at being friends, you know that?"The one where Harry is a famous singer, all around ladies man and total fuckboy but ends up becoming best friends with Ellanore, the struggling art major who works at a cafe and is just trying to live her best life. All he wanted was someone who could bring him back to himself again. Someone to treat him as normall as fucking possible. Turns out she was the person who'd do it. But what happens when she ends up realizing this.. friend thing wasn't just a friend thing. And she was lowkey finding herself thinking wayyy to often about his really nice hair, or those god damn dimples. Or the way he scrunched his nose and clenched that perfect ass jaw line when he was angry....Ah Fuck. She was so screwed.





	1. Chapter 1

We Can’t Be Friends : CHAPTER 1

 

 

Coffee is a highly important part of people’s ongoing days. I mean, who the fuck can function properly without their midday mocha frappuccino? Exactly. So since it’s so vital to everyday lives, Ellie worked her ass off through a 6am to 8pm shift for four days of her week in a small, but hipster type of cafe down in SoHo. Was this her career choice? Fuck no. Did her boss believe it is? Sure. She believes everyone who works there wants to engross their futures with being a professional barista. Note sarcasm. But not for nothing, Ellie will say they serve bomb-ass pastries. Their cupcakes are 10/10.

So this is where it started. The cliché of it being the midday traffic of coffee house where the line is practically down the block. People were shouting orders and rushing around. Employees were banging out cups like nobody's business. As the line dwindled down to the final ten or so patrons, Ellie looked up at the clock and noticed that two hours had passed. Good. It's about to hit 5pm and that's when the rush turns into two or three college hipsters taking up residence in the comfy sofa chairs in the front. When the last customer thanked her and walked out the door, Ellie let out a sigh.

“Fuck, remind me why I work here again?” Her friend Max asked, tossing a plastic container into the sink. Ellie snorted and slid onto a stool, opening her drawing book.

“Because rent and your undying love for junk food. Also your tuition, but that’s last on the list behind junk food,” she muttered.

“Literally would rather sleep on a damn cardboard box at this point.” He sighed and rubbed his face. “Fucking love Oreos, though.” Ellie rolled her eyes at his admittance. Dude loves his chocolate.

Of course tonight, Ellie had the closing shift, meaning everyone dipped out at 5:30, leaving her alone with her art and two students in the front shop. She secretly prayed they'd leave so she could finally switch out the damn playlist on the computer and blast respectable music instead of this ambiance trash. If she had to hear that jazz cover of John Mayer's Waiting on the World to Change one more time today, she was gonna rip her eardrums out. Glancing around, she slipped her earbuds in and turned the volume up. Ahh, much better. She bopped her head back and forth as she tapped the blank page of her sketch pad. Fuck. This artist’s block is killing her. She groaned as she threw her head back dramatically.

“Oi!” She turned to see a tallish man, with black ray bans and a wide brim panama hat waving frantically by the cash register trying to catch her attention. Shit, he looked pissed. She pulled her earbuds out and ran to the front.

“Crap, I'm sorry, I was just-”

“Not doing your job. Yeah, I can see that.” He snorted, crossing his arms. Oh okay, douchebag, relax. “I've been standing here for practically ten minutes.” Alright. Challenge accepted. Ellie narrowed her eyes and crossed her arms as well.

“Impossible, seeing as the last time I checked the front was when I turned the beginning of my song on and it's only been playing - (she unlocked her iphone) - for a minute and ten seconds. But sure, okay whatever floats your boat and will make you sleep better at night.” Sassing him. Immediately he looked taken aback, as if she backhanded those beautiful - (Beautiful? Ellie really?) - cheekbones. But just as fast as his expression of shock appeared, it faded within seconds turning into one of annoyance.

“Do you normally back talk to your customers?” He glowered, clearly ready to square up.

“When they’re being rude as fuck, yeah. So what can I get you?” She said nonchalantly, diffusing the fight. His mouth hung open a bit in confusion.

“Ehm, I'll have the mint chocolate ice coffee...” He murmured. She watched as he tried to figure out what the hell just happened, going from 0 to 100 hella quick. Ellie bit back a laugh of amusement. Good serves you right, pretty boy. And who the fuck wears sunglasses inside... when the sun set a half hour ago. As she prepared his order, she could feel his eyes boring into the back of her.

“Anyone ever tell you it's rude to stare?” she said, smirking, not looking away from work. She heard him snort.

“Anyone ever tell you it's rude to not act professional at the workplace?” He retorted. Damn, as much as she wanted to actually slap him, his British accent was kind of sexy as fuck. When she turned around, she handed him his coffee and a small brown bag. His brows furrowed and pushed his sunglasses into his curly brown hair. Wowly shit, those eyes. What fucking color was that, emerald? Shit, I'll get lost on your yellow brick road anyday. To bad you’re an asshat, she thought bitterly.

“Yeah, my manager everytime I walk in this place, but I give respect when I get it.” She shrugged.

“You should probably follow their advice, then,” he replied hotly.

“Listen, my dude, I'm not sure what throne your privileged ass hailed from, but here in America, we give respect to get it. And snapping your lengthy fingers at me isn't gonna get you much. Except maybe a punch to that pretty little face of yours, but you’re lucky I’m currently clocked in.” His eyes widened at her. A casual smile appeared on her face. He visibly gulped and opened the bag, peeking inside.

“ I.. did not order a chocolate muffin,” he said, raising an eyebrow.

“Yeah I know, but were closing in like an hour and no one really orders muffins around dinner time. Hate to see it go to waste. Plus, I literally worked my ass off on this batch and I refuse to watch a perfectly delicious Hershey brownie muffin dry out and die overnight and have me be depressed in the morning because no one appreciated my work.” Ellie laughed a bit at her own joke. The man tilted his head, completely confused.

“You’re... odd you know that?” He said with no harshness to his tone.

“Yeah, I think it's cause I was dropped on my head when I was baby. That or all the sharpies I used to sniff in middle school.” She shrugged and headed back to her stool.

“Wait!” The British accent that made her knees weak called out. She turned to him. “I uhm.. I didn't catch your name.”

“Do you want it because you’re generally curious or are you gonna come back and tell my manager I basically roasted you?” She said, narrowing her eyes and dropping her drawing pencil. He smirked.

“Depends.” He matched her threatening stare.

“On?” She said impatiently.

“If this muffin is actually as good as you claim.” Alright fuckboy, let's play the game. Her lips curled into a smile.

“Ellanore.” He nodded thoughtfully for a moment before walking towards the door.

“Harry,” he said, turning around before walking out. Harry... huh. Fits his accent I guess.Too bad he doesn’t look like the boy wizard. At least Harry Potter wouldn't be a sassy little shit about a friggen coffee.


	2. Chapter 2

We Can’t Be Friends: CHAPTER 2

 

Ellanore. Pretty name. Weird ass girl. Who wears friggin pencils in their buns anyway? And there was paint under her nails. He shuddered. But wow, that coffee was actually fucking great. And the muffin? Just as incredible as she described. Harry walked along the avenue towards his new apartment building. He was lucky to sneak away from his guard and avoid taking the damn car service just to get an ice coffee down the block. I mean he loved NYC, don’t get him wrong. It was his home away from Holmes Chapel. But once the fans found out he was back here... well, it took a week before they finally died down. So here he was, turning the key to the top floor, quickly avoiding the door across the hall where his bodyguard was staying. he ducked in and turned the light on tossing his keys on the hallway table.

 

He gradually sipped his drink, savoring every drop. Crap, he’s gonna have to go there from now on. Starbucks has nothing on this place. He walked over to his balcony and pulled back the double doors, letting the summer sounds of the city echo around him. Yeah, he’d only been here a month but there’s no going back now. His phone buzzed in his back pocket, making him jump. He whipped it out and grimaced.

 

Jeff: How’s the writing?

 

“Fan fucking tastic mate.” He mumbled, tossing the phone onto the couch. Harry rubbed at his face with frustration. He released his first solo album months ago and he finally had some him time after the numerous tours the past year. However, within days, he was getting emails and texts asking about his next one. And sure, he was writing a lot, but honestly, he just really needed some well-deserved Harry time. He needed a clear headspace and something inspiring. Of course, New York City was a good place to find it. Memories always flooded him when he came back here. Of past shows, and tours. Past meetings with friends and exes. A couple of lovely one night stands. He smirked to himself. Damn, very good one night stands. With that in mind, he scooped his phone up and threw one one of his downtime spotify playlists. John Mayer filled the speakers, and he sank into his couch, eyes closing. Somehow his dreams faded into a coffee shop and a weird girl’s laugh.

 

 

“Fuck’s got you all smiles this morning?” Max asked, yawning and walking up to the coffee shop door. She shrugged.

“Finished one of my pieces last night.” They walked into dark cafe and flipped up the switches. She loved Saturdays. No one really came in that early, everyone sleeping off their booze cruises from the Friday night. But of course, 6am was call time always. No matter what. Even if there was a fucking hurricane (which there has been). Marge has them up and running at the ass crack of dawn. Okay, Ellie will complain about this crap job all she wants, but she did kind of enjoy her overly optimistic boss, and the pay was solid as fuck. Enough so that she could literally live in the city with three roomates. Plus, there was the whole, work hard play hard bit. Art college was no fucking joke. Parsons pretty much bled her dry. Yes, she had a scholarship, but let's be real. That shit doesn't cover materials. Luckily, Marge was a firm believer in the arts, so she gracefully gave her hours on hours on hours. Bless you, blonde crazy woman.

“Okay when will be seeing these magical ass pieces, huh? I mean all you do is draw in that damn book, which is falling apart by the way, and we never get to see shit. I thought artists like to share.” Max begin to fill the self coffee machines as well as turn on the pastry lamps.

“Boy, you’re lucky if you even get to my photography. My drawing’s different. That shit’s personal.” Ellie whisked her hair into two buns on top of her head. She stuck some pencils in them and admired her work in the glass reflection. “Damn, I’m a snack.”

“You’re something...” Max snorted.

“Piss off, you little shit. Dudes would be lucky to catch a glimpse of this fine ass-- Fuck!” Ellie was mid turn when she noticed someone standing at the counter. She gasped and grabbed her chest. “Christ, you need a cat bell or something,” she said, taking a deep breath. There he was. In all his British royal glory. Emerald eyes and his rather roughed up brown hair. He was giving her a devilish smile.

“Morning to you as well.” Harry's smirk grew.

“How are you even alive at this hour?” Ellie asked. He shrugged.

“Couldn't sleep.”

“Word, okay. Uhm, so... mint chocolate iced coffee?” She asked cautiously.

“Actually.. what tea do you have? I rather enjoyed the coffee, but im feeling a bit more...” He narrowed his eyes trying to find the right words.

“Royal this morning?” Ellie laughed. Max snorted from behind her. Harry stared at her, with a blank expression. “Oh come on, that shit was funny. And it's not even my functioning hour yet.”

“ When exactly is your functioning hour? It's definitely not 5pm, that’s for sure,” he said, glancing over the small menu on the table.

“Oh I didn't realize your period is back,” she said kindly. Harry's smile dropped as Max let out a low whistle from where he was organizing the bagels.

“Actually, that was last week thank you very much.” Shit. Was not expecting that. Ellie huffed and clenched her jaw.

“So will that be a tall go-fuck-yourself? With a sprinkle of asshole?” Take that, Curly Q. Harry leaned over the counter.

“Yes please.” Ellie visibly gulped. Is he seriously trying to turn her on? Cause it's fucking working. Damn it. Stupid Wizard of Oz eyes. Stupid... oh shit. Those are some nice ass dimples.

“MAX!” Max jumped at her shouting.

“Shit Ell, I’m right here what do you want?” He groaned.

“Ring up a fucking green tea before I commit a serious homicide.” Max rolled his eyes and hit in the order. Ellie walked in the back room and took a deep breath. No one else was in the shop besides Harry Potter over there, so she slipped the aux cord into her phone and hit play on her Spotify list. After concocting boy wizard’s drink, she turned to see that Max had pulled out the new muffins for the morning. She sighed. Maybe one of her snickerdoodle muffins will cure this fuckboy’s black hole of a heart. She scooped one in a bag and walked back out. Harry was glancing around at some magazines placed next to the register. He was wearing a black t-shirt today. His tattoos peeking out all over. Fuck. It's always the assholes who end up looking like they hit the generic lotto.

“Here you go, boy who lived,” she said, handing him his tea and the brown bag. For a second, she spotted a genuine smile from his lips only to be replaced by that cocky grin.

“Another muffin. I've just insulted you and you brought me another muffin....” He let out a breathy laugh. “You really are an odd girl.”

“Better than being normal, I guess. Or you know, basic.” He stared at her for another moment before heading towards the door.

“Oh and by the way... excellent chocolate muffin. I suspect if this one is any better, your boss won't find out about my period.” With that, the door shut and Max stared at Ell.

“The fuck is that face about?” She asked, crossing her arms.

“You’re red as fuck. Dude got you good,” Max said teasingly. Foster the People played over the speakers.

“First off, he didn't get shit. He's rude as hell. Came in here last night snapping his long ass fingers in my face like Im a damn maid-”

“And yet, you keep feeding him. If you keep feeding them, they will return.”

“Don't you have some cups to put out or some shit?” Ellie cut him off before he chuckled and walked in the back room.

Stupid Max and his stupid mouth. British boy was nothing but a pain in the ass. Coming in here with his sassy ass mouth thinking he can just fucking speak and make Ellie swoon in her place with that accent. And then he has the nerve to blackmail her? After starting it? Infuriating. With that Ellie ran to the back and switched to the stores usual music narrowly avoiding Marge as she walked in, a wide smile on her face.

 

Welp 4pm rolled around and Ellie sat tapping her drawing pencil again. Blank pages were pretty much fucking taunting her at this point. She flipped back to her finished work from yesterday. A doodle of a boy with curly hair and black ray bans.

“Oh, who is that fine looking young man?” Marge's voice echoed from above her. Marge was one of those really happy-go-lucky people who could literally be mugged on the street and instead of being angry, she’d offer them her wallet, a place to sleep, and a hot meal. And sure, that's a pretty awesome way to live your life. Because it's like she radiates happy. Customers adore her. It's probably why they keep coming back. Her small southern twang is always upbeat and cheery.

“No, Marge, this is anything but a fine looking young man. This is actually a demon,” Ellie said, looking up at her with serious eyes.

“Oh hush, I think it's one of your better works yet,” she said, squeezing Ell's shoulder for reassurance. “I’m off everyone. Ellanore dear, just remember to restock the cups before you leave tonight.” Ellie nodded.

“Of course.” Ellie watched her blonde hair and plump face disappear out the side door. God, she was sickeningly sweet. But Ell would take a fucking bullet for her. She'll be one of those people that are thanked in her speech when she becomes a published photographer or artist. Closing her book she stood up and stretched her arms.

“Ohhhh, Ellieee.” A sing-song voice came from behind her. Hailey. A blonde tall supermodel looking college girl who started here two years ago. She may look like a stuck up pretentious bitch, but she was actually Ellie’s work best friend.

The two were actual complete opposites. In every aspect. Hailey was studying to be a nurse. Her parents were filthy rich and she went to private school. She also drives a fucking maserati around NYC and lives in the Upper East Side in her own apartment her parents pay for. Was Ellie jealous? Fuck no. This girl had everything and still chose to work at this damn cafe just to escape her parents and their constant pulling at her. She said even though she grew up with enough money to own three sports teams, she chose to learn responsibility. She started working at sixteen to escape the wrath of her parents Susan and Keith. Of course Ellie would do the same if she had parents with those white bread names. God only knows what their untoasted personalities were like.

“Yesssss.” Ellie groaned. She tightened up her apron.

“Can you get that customer in the front? I'm a bit.. busy back here.” Ellie rolled her eyes.

“Hails, I swear if you’re straightening your damn hair again, I’m gonna homerun your head with that thing.”

“I'd like to see you try and play sports, you narp.”

“The fuck does that even mean?” Ellie's face scrunched up. Hailey leaned out of the back room.

“Non athletic regular person... duh.” She rolled her eyes and continued on her beauty escapade. When Ellie got to the counter, she groaned outwardly, honestly hoping he would hear her.

“God. Isn't there a Starbucks down the road you can terrorize?” Harry laughed and his dimples showed through. Christ, I don't know if I wanna punch you or fuck you, Ellie thought.

“Yes, but they don't seem to be as good as fresh brewed,” he stated. “Besides, I think the bitchy comebacks make it taste sweeter.”

“You are walking a thin fucking line, Urban Outfitters.” Ellie leaned over the counter, her eyes threatening. Harry smirked and leaned forward as well, there faces inches apart.

“Did I finally crack you?” He whispered smugly.

“The only thing that’s gonna crack is that sharp ass jawline you-”

“ELLANORE.” Fuck. Caught. So effing caught. But fuck that if Hailey thought Ellie was gonna back down now. “Holy shit-”

“Hailey, what-” But Ellie was cut short as Hailey bounded from the back room and quickly hip checked her out of the way.

“Mr. Styles. I am so sorry--” Mr Styles? The fuck?

“Hailey, are you high again?” Ellie asked, raising an eyebrow. Hailey whipped around, her blonde hair smacking Ellie in the face. She clenched her jaw and jerked her head towards Harry.

“Ellie, do you know who this is?” Her eyes glaring into Ellie’s fucking soul. If looks could kill, she'd be six feet deep.

“Yeahh... It’s Harry. He came in last night and basically treated me like--”

“It’s Harry Styles...” Ellie looked behind Hailey at the curly haired fuck boy who was smiling victoriously.

“Is that shit supposed to mean something?” Hailey sighed and turned back to him.

“Harry, I’m so sorry, Ellanore has a wee bit of a temper.”

“Temper? Bitch, he started it!” Ellie growled through her teeth.

“And we sincerely apologize. I’m Hailey.” Her voice was as fake as the customer service for your local cable television.

“Well I’m fucking not.” Ellie stubbornly crossed her arms and bucked her hip, giving them both her 'try me bitch' look.

“That's quite alright love, believe it or not it's entertaining.” Harry laughed as Hailey flirtatiously twirled her hair. Ew. Gross.

“Yeah, she’s a riot. So what can I get you?” She licked her lips. Harry's eyes locking onto her movements. Are you fucking--

“ Hey yo-” Ellie hip checked Hailey out of her spot. “Can you make him a mango green tea, princess?”

“But he hasn't ordered that--” Hailey began her hands on her hips, clearly pissed.

“Actually, that sounds lovely.” Harry piped up, a flirty smile playing on his lips. She immediately softened.

“Sure, anything you'd like.” Hailey backed up towards the kitchen but not before she leaned into Ellie’s ear. “Be nice.”

As she left, Ellie rolled her eyes and turned back around to find Harry clearly checking out Hailey’s ass.

“Dude, can you be anymore obvious? Sicko,” Ellie mumbled ringing him up.

“Sorry, she's rather beautiful,” he said, a little bit of a blush in his cheeks.

“Yeah, her three boyfriends seem to think so,” Ellie said popping the cash register. She smiled slyly, knowing full well that Harry’s face dropped.

“Is that a tone of jealousy I hear?” He remarked taking his cash back.

“No, but it’s one of true disgust, sir. Here you are, Mr. Potter, 5 sickles.” Harry snorted as Hailey handed him his beverage. He raised it up.

“Oh and these would be galleons love, not sickles,” he said, walking out. Ellie's face dropped. Did he just... correct her nerdiness? Oh hell no.

“That little-” Ellie grabbed one of the double chocolate chip cookies and tossed it in a bag. She jumped over the counter and ran out the door only to almost smash into him.

“Christ-” Harry said, stumbling back but saving his tea. He looked at her wide-eyed.

“Shit- sorry sorry,” she said straightening up. She handed him the bag. “It's a fresh batch. Thought you'd, ya know... need it or something,” she said, shifting her words. Since when did she not have anything to say?

“Oh.. right. I uhm. Thank you,” he said, letting a small smile slip.

“Yeah, no worries..” She nodded slowly and backing up towards the door. “ Oh and if you ever try and correct me about my one true love Harry Potter... I'll be sure to kick the crap out of you,” she snorting.

“Looking forward to it..” he said, raising the bag up. “Ms. Granger.” Ellie slid inside the shop and rolled her eyes shaking her head. Idiot. She was WAY more of a Luna Lovegood.


	3. Chapter 3

We Can’t Be Friends: Chapter 3

 

 

For the next several weeks, Harry Styles walked three blocks to Heavenly Delights Cafe any chance he could sneak away. Of course, he convinced himself it was for there epic coffee and tea flavors, but in reality, he was craving something much more. Maybe it was the way she always tightened those weird buns on her head with sharpened pencils. Or her 1200 bracelets up her arms that jingled and clinked everytime she pressed buttons on the cash register. No, it was definitely the way her brown eyes darkened to almost black and her nose scrunched when she snapped a witty remark at him. He smirked at the way she practically cracked teeth when he winked at Hailey last night. Truth be told, he was bored. Bored as fuck. Bored because he was always constantly going and now he was at a halt. After his well deserved weeks of naps and relaxing he was kind of itching to get going again. But everytime he sat with his guitar or at his piano bench, nothing came to him.

It was days he didn’t visit the shop that really fucked with his head. After he’d have a confrontation with Ellie, he’d immediately find his spark again. It was crazy. This random barista who literally ripped him a new one whenever they saw each other kick started his ideas again. The bell wrang over the empty place, lights dimmed. He could hear some indie song playing loudly over the speakers. What caught his attention was the barista behind the counter bouncing up and down with a broom. She loudly sang to the lyrics.

He bit back a laugh as she twirled out and started sweeping through the tables. Holy crap. He whipped out his iphone. Sure he wasn’t really about the whole invasion of privacy thing, but they were sort of.. friends? Is that what he’d call their banter? Friendly fire? Fuck it, this was iconic.

“WE CAN DO THIS EVERY NIGHT-” He watched her belt out lyrics. “ I KNOW WERE GETTING OLDER BUT THAT DONT MEAN ITS OVER-” She started shaking her hips and swinging her head around. Dear god. His heart stopped when she pulled out her and it fell over her shoulders.

“RIDE OR DIEEEEEEE-” She spun around and started throwing her head back and forth. “HOLY FUCKING HELL!” She screamed, her eyes landing on Harry. She gasped and fell back, knocking over a couple of chairs. Groaning, she rubbed at her head.

“Shit!” Harry's face fell and he ran to her. “Are you alright?” His voice concerned.

“I’m gonna just lay here and hopefully disappear and a cloud of dust,” she mumbled. Harry raised an eyebrow.

“Sorry, I don't think the infinity gauntlet is real.” Ellie peaked one eye opened.

“You continue to surprise me, pretty boy,” she said. He shook his head.

“I’ve got many sides to me,” he said, gripping her hand and slowly helping her up. She wobbled a bit and rubbed her head.

“Clearly.” She sighed. Suddenly she punched his left arm and he gripped it in pain.

“FUCK, ELL, WHAT WAS THAT FOR?” He said, rubbing the now sore spot.

“I know you filmed me, you creeper. That’s for sneaking up on me. I could’ve killed you,” she said sourly.

“Oh yeah, you seemed very coordinated, practically humping that broomstick.” Her mouth dropped.

“I wasn't humping it, you little shit. I was grinding it. Like a stripper pole.” She watched him pale a bit.

“Classy,” he mumbled, still massaging his arm. “You know had my bodyguard been here, he’d probably have your ass shipped halfway to Madagascar by now--”

“Boy I can take you and your bodyguard. You just snuck on me,” she said harshly. After catching her breath. “Now. What do you want tonight?” She said, walking over to the register.

“Surprise me. You've nailed me so far,” he said with a smirk. She looked up at him over the counter and narrowed her eyes.

“Just for that, I'm spitting in your drink.”

“Don't you dare.”

“Take it back, Curly Q, or your hibiscus strawberry ice tea gets it.” She hocked back a loogie. He made a disgusting face.

“God, you’re vile. Fine, I take it back.” She triumphantly smiled and handed him his drink. He thanked her and sipped it. “For someone who dislikes their job, you’re pretty good at it. You know aside from the whole customer service part,” he said, practically chugging it.

“First off, I don't hate my job. I rather enjoy it when I’m not being hounded by fuck boys with self-righteous attitudes.” Harry rolled his eyes dramatically. “Secondly, thanks. I tend to mix most of the flavors on the menu. But you seemed like you were tired of being basic. So voila,” she said, pulling one of the pencils from her apron and grabbing a tarnished-looking black book.

“What you doing there?” Harry asked, putting his cup down and reaching for it. She pulled it back.

“WHOA there, Gucci king, hands off. I don't go snooping around in your diary of unfinished lyrics do it?” Harry froze. An evil look rolling onto his lips. “The fuck is that face?”

“Lyrics... you know me,” he said, pointing a finger at her. His heart rate increased. Not because she knew him, but because she didn't care.

“No.” His face fell. “But I did get curious and look up your name. Once I found out who you were, I realized why Hailey has been trying to live up your ass the past three weeks.” He gave her an incredulous look. “What?”

“And... what did you think?”

“What do you mean?” She asked, tilting her head in confusion. Harry felt his frustration rise.

“Did you like it?... my album?” She paused for a moment before bursting out laughing. Harry flushed at her reaction. A simple fucking no would have sufficed.

“Sorry, it was just funny playing the whole dumb thing. I actually just listened to that black and white one? Five--”

“Four,” he replied grumpily, finishing off his tea.

“Yeah... it was good.” His head whipped around.

“Oh?”

“Don't get fucking cocky. I said good.” She went back to her book for a moment before staring up at him.

“Well that's because you haven't listened to just me yet.” He walked behind the counter over to her phone.

“Bitch, did I say you could come back here--you’re not even wearing a name tag, people will ask you to make drinks!” She exclaimed dramatically.

“You’re insane, woman. Besides,” He looked around at the completely dead cafe. “There hasn't been a customer for at least an hour. Hence you brooming and washing down counters.” She scrunched her forehead.

“How do you--”

“Used to work at a bakery,” he said, not looking up from her phone. He scrolled to his name on Spotify and hit shuffle. Kiwi took over the place. A small smile grazed his features, getting lost a little bit. He hasnt listened to this album in a car without singing it since it released. He watched Ellie’s face contort in concentration. She nodded along.

 

“I’m having your baby--” Suddenly she grinned widely and let out a small chuckle that almost went to his knees. Shit. He really enjoyed her laugh.

“I FUCK WITH IT!” She said, getting into more. She bounced up and down, then swung her hair back and forth. Harry burst out laughing. When the song ended, she was practically out of breath. She turned and spotted her long black hair curling slightly. “Damn it, now I look like a friggin poodle.” She sighed and wrapped it up in a bun, sticking the pencils in it. She turned around to see Harry only inches from her. He towered over her a good foot and half. She tensed at his sudden body heat and the way he was peering down at her. Almost trying to figure her out. He reached up and pulled the pencils from her hair and handed them to her. “Wha-”

“Leave it down.” He leaned next to her ear. “Looks beautiful.” Maybe it was the way his breath warmed her neck. Or she could hear his breathing. His angle gave her the opportunity to smell his cologne. Something like a mix between musk and leather and sex. Yeah, definitely sex. Either way, she had to bite her cheeks to keep from moaning. Fuck. He stood back up and walked out from behind the counter, leaving her stuck in place. He fucking knew what he was doing. His shit-eating grin said it all.

“See you bright and early tomorrow morning,” he said, slowly backing up towards the exit.

“Not if I fucking quit and work at the McDonalds down the street,” she challenged. He chuckled.

“I fucking dare you.” His eyes darkening as he turned on his heel and left. When he was gone, Ellie let out a breath she didn't realize she was holding.

“Breathe, bitch. You needa breathe. You are not gonna ride him. You are NOT gonna ride him,” she repeated banging her head on the table praying she’ll knock herself out. She was fucked. No she was ROYALLY fucked. He was a grade-a player. If the damn teen bop articles didn't call him a sweet romantic, TMZ was pulling out the 'bad boy' image. This was some real shit. And here he was, coming up into her place of work and... and mind fucking her. No... hell no. Not fucking today bitch. NOT TODAY, SATAN WITH CUTE DIMPLES AND LUCIOUS CURLY HAIR.

“I will not fucking fall for you, Harry Styles,” she said, glaring at the door he left out of ten minutes ago.


	4. Chapter 4

We Can’t Be Friends- Chapter 4

 

 

This was starting to be daily occurrence. Harry would show up and sit in the shop a couple hours before closing. He'd stuff himself in of the huge comfy lazy boys, his journal in his hand and one of Ellie’s concocted beverages in the other. He realized that as long as he was around or in her presence, his writing would sort of just roll off his pencil. He already had banged out four songs the last month and a half. Pretty damn proud if he said so himself. In the midst of that, he'd learned not every one of them had to even do with Ellanore. Or her bizarre hairstyles she was sporting everyday. Or the witty comments she’d throw around to keep the staff laughing. Or even the cute silver hoop on her nose she’d fix every once in a while. No, fuck no. Sometimes he'd find himself watching her. Just because she was so... interesting.

“Here you go, my dude, strawberry frappe.” She handed an older man. He smiled kindly to her as she leaned over. “I added some strawberries at the bottom too.” The man smiled brightly.

“Thank you so much, Ms Ellie.” He said as he waved bye. It was almost ironic. All he and Ellie did was bicker and throw shade at each other, but she was probably one of the most selfless souls he's ever had the privilege of coming in contact with. His phone buzzed on the chair of the arm.

Your Fave Ellie:

Stop staring at me, dork.

Harry snorted.

Harold:

You’ve got something in your teeth.

He looked up to see her narrowing her eyes at him.

Your Fave Ellie:

You got something on your face. * Middle Finger Emoji *

Harold:

Tell Hailey her butt looks great in those jeans.

Your Fave Ellie:

You’re like a horny teenager....but yeah they do.

Harold:

Sorry, I enjoy admiring art.

Your Fave Ellie:

Once again. Fuck boy.

Harold:

You’re cute when you’re pissy.

Boom. He knew that’d get her. He watched her smile falter and her cheeks flush before she looked up and flipped him the actual finger. He laughed out loud and saw her manager Marge scold her. Ellie rolled her eyes and turned back the pastry case. She was unloading some cookies she had baked this morning. Red Velvet. She had slipped him one with his morning coffee. Thoughtful. And yet, he snorted watching her make faces about being sour.

 

Closing time came around and Ellie finished packing things away. Her music sounded over the loudspeakers as she walked into the kitchen. Marge had granted her baking privileges since she'd been once again closing all week and picking up everyone's shifts who bailed. Tonight it was just her, Misterwives, and the most iconic brownies ever. Fuck yeah, Fridays. She didn't mind being here in all honesty. It got her out of the house and she hated to admit it... but Harry had been kind of fun to be around. It was hard making friends, she had a few good ones, but they never sassed her back the way Harry does. It was entertaining as fuck. She smiled to herself. Her drawings were coming to her every night. Each submission she'd give to her professor, he’d praise her. Telling her she should really think about putting them out there. Between her paintings and sketches, she was practically filling up her book.

And then of course, her photography. He never noticed, but she’d slip her camera out and just take a simple shot of him sitting and staring out the large bay windows. Or sipping his tea and scrunching up his forehead in concentration. Stupid curly hair failing all over his face. Fuck. Knock it off, girl, get a grip. She shook her head.

A knock at the glass door startled her and she peaked out from the kitchen to see Harry with his hands cupped around his face peeking in. The fuck? They closed an hour ago. He spotted her and wiggled his fingers.

“OI, OPEN UP!” he screamed through the glass. Ellie smirked and crossed her arms.

“Bite me!” She yelled back.

“DON'T TEMPT ME!” Her face fell. Really, fuckboy? Really? Rolling her eyes dramatically, she walked over to the door and unlocked it.

“Are you looking to get drop kicked in the balls? Because that can be arranged. What the fuck are you--”

“I've left my notebook,” he said simply, walking past her with a devilish smile on his lips.

“Grab it quick I'm busy,” she said, annoyed. She watched him sprint over to the chair and pick up the tattered-looking thing. “Bro, you need to invest in a new--okay, now what the fuck are you doing--Hey! Yo! COME BACK HERE!” She trotted back to him as walked behind the counter in the back room. “My boss is only a certain level of chill--you can’t keep coming up in here like you own the place.”

“I do.”

“You do what?”

“Own the place,” he said, looking around the stainless steel kitchen. Ellie’s eyes widened. He better be fucking kidding. When he noticed her expression, he let out a hard laugh. “I’m joking, christ.” She let out a breath she'd been holding. Good, because... theoretically, she can’t fuck her 'Boss'. Not that she wanted to fuck him, it’s just that every person that comes in contact with him probably wants to ride it, but like this is theoretical. Shit.

“Are you done? I highkey have shit to do,” she said, leaning down on the table. Harry shrugged and tossed the book on the counter.

“Honestly? No. Thought I'd visit my friend,” he said simply. His fingers grazing over the different utensils.

“Okay, so go visit them,” she said, gesturing to the door. He looked back to her.

“I meant you,” he said matter-of-factly.

“Harry, we can't be friends.” He stood straight up and leaned his back on the edge of the counter. Crossing his arms defensively, a look of nerves crossed his face.

“Why not?” He questioned. Ellie sighed.

“Because all we do is fight. I mean it's fun as hell, but we have nothing in common. You’re ya know.. you-” Harry sighed, rubbing his face in frustration.

“Stop. Stop, okay first off, that's exactly why we are friends. Because I’m me. And I'm not gonna lie, it's been awhile since someone actually took a shot at me. It's like everyone walks on eggshells if I even suggest something different. I don't want to be people-pleased.” Ellie watched his eyes soften. “I actually enjoy fighting with you. Keeps it fresh, ya know?” He smirked, seriousness fading from his voice. Here he was, rich out his ass, famous for his voice, and hot as fuck, being chased everywhere. And all he fucking wanted was a normal friendship. Fuck, this was about to be a mistake.

“Does it keep it fresh?” Ellie narrowed her eyes and walked around the table. She casually walked up in front of him, his adam's apple bobbing as he visibly gulped. She sweetly smiled and leaned in, her hand reaching behind his back. She watched his eyes flutter closed and she bit her lip. When she felt her hand grip a fist full of flour, she brought it back up and blew it all over him. His eyes shot open and his lips curled into a sickly devious smile.

“Are you fucking insane?” He said shaking his head and having flour flow everywhere in the air. Ellie burst into a full laugh, throwing her head back as he wiped furiously at his face. When Ellie regained her composure, her face fell. Oh fuck.

“Oh fuck.” She darted towards the door, but Harry launched and wrapped his huge hands --seriously, what is with those fucking fingers--around her ankles. She fell to the floor and grabbed the doorway. “NO NO NO NO-”

“OH YES.” He dragged her across the linoleum and grabbed the metal bowl from the table. It was filled with cracked eggs. He wouldn't fucking dare- Oh okay, he dared. The eggs soaked through her hair and shirt as Harry stumbled back a bit, doubling over in hysterics.

“YOU DICK!” She swung her leg under his ankles and he fell back with a thud.

“Ehh,” he groaned in pain, rubbing at his bum. “Not cool, Elli--CRAP!” Brown sugar coated him. Ellie crawled over and straddled his waist. “SERIOUSLY?!”

“TAKE THAT, BITCH!” She erupted in laughs, giving him a chance to grab the flour bag under the counter and swinging at her. It collided with her arm, the bag tearing open and coating everything included the egg coated Ellie. “You literally suck,” she said after a moment.

“No, I just win,” he said breathlessly, laying back down.

 

Ellie sat next to Harry, her back against the wall, trying to catch her breath still. He was doing the same. His eyes every so often looked to her. They looked wrecked, her hair was hanging out of the pins, his black shirt was coated In white. They had managed to clean their faces... at least. The place was a fucking mess but for the first time in awhile, Ellie kind of felt content. She wasn't rushing to do anything or help anyone. She was just simply comfortable.

“ Harry,” she said softly, turning her head to him. He looked over with a small grin, his cute little dimples pinching in his cheeks.

“Yeah?” He asked, just as quiet. She wasn't sure why they were whispering but, she sure wasn't about to ruin the moment.

“We... we’re not gonna be very good at being friends, you know that?” It was true after all. He may want a friend, but he'll soon forget her when he goes back on tour, leaves New York for good or simply gets on with his life. He was just bored right now. What could she possibly offer him? Honestly, she's had more fun with this prickly little shit in the past month or so then she has in awhile. She selfishly wanted to keep him close, be around him often and just... know everything about him. But she couldn't. Because it would hurt a fuck ton more when he'd say goodbye. You know, since most people in her life do that. Harry frowned and leaned over, his fingers brushing back a strand of her black hair from her face and rubbing flower off her cheek with the pad of his thumb.

“Won't know till we try, aye?” He gave her a half smile and it was enough for her to cave in. Fuck it. Having him in her life for a short period of time was better than none at all. With that, she let her head fall back against the wall, closing her eyes. After a couple of moments, Harry stood up, brushing at his jeans. “ Welp, Versace is gonna be pissed. I don't think egg comes out too well.”

“Could you sound anymore pretentious as fuck?” She said, raising her eyebrows. “It'd be cooler if it was blood and they were stained while you were beating the crap out of some bad guys.” She mumbled, standing up slowly. Harry offered her a hand.

“Yes well, I'll be sure to wear them the next time I find some thug NYC muggers.”

“There you go, think outside the box.” Ellie groaned taking in the state of the kitchen. “Dope. I was looking forward to cleaning the entire fucking kitchen on my friday night.” Harry laughed.

“Did you have plans?” He asked, walking towards the closet for the broom.

“Yeah. My bed and Netflix.”

“Sounds exciting,” he said cautiously.

“Hey, you’re the genius who wants to befriend the starving artist,” she said, hands up in mock defense.

“True, but you’re the one who agreed to befriend the rich asshole rockstar,” he said, shrugging. Touché, sir.


	5. Chapter 5

We Can’t Be Friends- Chapter 5

 

 

As weeks flew by, summer fading into fall, Harry and Ellanore became closer. Harry stood at the counter in his apartment, currently going over the emails his team had Cc’d him in. He'd successfully come up with six songs he was looking into recording this week. He ran a hand through his hair, pulling it back into a bun. He was letting it grow again. Ellie had made some random remark about it when they had lunch couple months back. 'It wasn't a terrible look. You kinda reminded me those douchebags on the covers of romance novels.' He snickered. Of course she probably meant it to be insulting, but he saw the way her eyes lingered on the poster of him from their last tour. He only really cut it for Dunkirk. Right now, he was looking into a couple of movie roles, one of them being a Netflix-style rom com. He secretly was giddy about it, considering when he was alone, he'd binge all his favorites.

“That BITCH!” His front door slammed open and shut. Harry stood, unfazed eyes still on the email from corporate about a new photoshoot for his Gucci sponsor.

“Morning to you too,” he said as Ellie stormed through his apartment and right to the coffee pot he had up. It became routine, honestly. Especially when Marge begged Ellie to take some time off. Paid time off.

“Of all the shitty things that trashy bitch has done, this shit is the shittiest!” She exclaimed, slamming a mug down and spilling a bit of her drink.

“Which one? You've got like 99 of them...” He chuckled, looking back at her. “Get it, 99 problems and a bitch is.. okay, sorry.” Ellie clenched her jaw trying not to smile.

“You’re dumb.”

“Aye, but I’m also clever,” he said, pointing a finger in her face.

“No you’re just annoying,” she snapped.

“Alright then, give me my Colombian coffee back then--” He made to reach for the mug, but she growled and pulled it away. “I understand you’re not a morning person, but what could possibly be wrong at 8am?”

“My advisor,” she grumbled. Harry made an 'o' with his mouth. They stood in silence for a moment, both leaning against the counter, sipping their warm beverages.

“You know I could--” He began but she held up her hand.

“I got it. I told you none of this 'My dick is biggest so I can persuade important people' thing.” They were silent once again. Harry sighed.

“Do you really think I have a big dick?” He asked with a smirk, earning him punch right to the arm.

“She dropped one of my courses. I’m supposed to graduate in May, but now I have to take another goddamn class in the summer and wait months to graduate in December of next year.” Harry frowned as she gave a defeated sigh. Her eyes looking past him into the living room.

“You've got this. I have faith in you,” he said quietly. She looked back over to him and gave him the faintest smile.

“Thanks. I like your man bun Monday.” She said taking their empty cups to the sink. She began to rinse them out.

“Oi, my flat, I'll do that--” She slapped his hand away.

“Dude I’m literally missing work. I've probably made my roommates coffee and tea every morning and night the past two weeks. I've also washed every dish in our apartment and may have baked hellish amounts of cupcakes muffins and cookies.” She dried her hands.

“And where the fuck was my invite?” He crossed his arms in mock offense.

Yeah I'm gonna bring you to my place so media can stalk you and claim your banging a hot ass struggling artist with a great butt.”

“Hey! They haven't been following as much lately and besides, that's what Dale is for.”

“Yeah I’m gonna really have your hulk of a guard following you to my place. Bad, bad idea, my dude.”

“Your friends don't know about me, do they?” Harry stated matter-of-factly.

“Nope.” Ellie pulled her hair up in a messy bun.

“I can't believe you're embarrassed to be seen with me, after everything we've been through.” Harry dramatically gripped at his chest. “...Hailey knows about me.”

“Hailey knows you come in in the mornings for coffee. She doesn't know shit otherwise.” Ellie whipped around and slapped his arm. “So keep your mouth shut.”

“Yeah yeah, So about your advisor--” Harry began.

“I just need to vent. Trust me, I can handle it,” she said defensively.

“Don't friends help each other?” He raised an eyebrow. Fucker. They help, not buy them out of things...unless it was to bail them out of jail.

“Don't you have a meeting or something?” She sighed, rubbing her face in frustration.

“Eh, I have to be a SIR studios by 1.” Harry glanced at his phone. “Wanna watch that new movie on Netflix? The one about love letters or something?”

“Do you just scan over social media when you’re bored?” She laughed.

“I mean, yes but..” His eyes pleaded with her. That was their usual routine when both of them were free for the day. Binge whatever lame indie romance movie they had come across. The other day they pretty much went through four French love movies, reading subtitles and arguing plots. Ellie wasn't a cynic of true love, but she was skeptical. Harry, however, fed off that shit, even crying at certain parts. She kind of imagined if his fans knew this side of him. The one who literally tears up over Grey’s Anatomy reruns in his black Calvin Kleins, eating $1.99 Breyers ice cream and dipping McDonalds fries in it. And sure, it was basically every girl’s wet dream to have a man who be both sensitive and dangerous. But Ellie didn't see it like that.

 

The movie ended with Harry leaning forward on his couch, eyes locked onto the screen, immersed in the final scene. And if Ellie was being honest, most of the time watching him was more entertaining. His cell phone buzzed next to him and he jumped, grabbing it. An odd smile grew on his lips.

“Is that your 'I’m getting laid tonight' face?” Ellie said, exiting the Netflix screen. His eyebrows furrowed and he dipped his tongue out, clearly in concentration. Fuck, that’s adorable. Stupid rich pretty boy.

“None of your business,” he said, looking over his shoulder. Excuse you. All of my business. With a sly smile, Ellie pounced on his back and grabbed for the phone knocking him to the floor with a thud.

“FUCK, ELLANORE!” He groaned, the iphone flying. Ellie laughed and reached for it until Harry laid on top of her, extending his huge octopus arm out and almost reaching it. Ellie growled and rolled over, making him fall to his back. “No!- NO N-” But she grabbed the phone and jumped to her feet. She ran for the balcony and immediately hung her hand over the fence. “ARE YOU FUCKING MAD? GIVE IT BACK!”

“Who’s Nadine?” She asked, scrolling through the messages. He let out an exasperated sigh.

“No one, damn it. Wait, how do you even know my password?” She shrugged.

“I put my thumb print in one time when it was unlocked.” She nonchalantly shrugged.

“Jesus, you are so invasive.” Harry made to grab the phone but she quickly held it up again. “She's a.. a friend, for fuck sake, give it back-”

“Harry Styles, are you fucking cheating on me?” Ellie bit her bottom lip, letting out a strangled cry.

“What? Have you lost your damn mind?” He had to bite back a laugh as she shook her head.

“You bastard, WE HAD SOMETHING SPECIAL!” She shoved the phone at him as he began to laugh. “I met her a week ago at the studio,” he said, slipping his iphone into his jeans pocket. “Jealous, little one?” Ellie stopped dead In her tracks and turned to the smug fuck who was now eying her intently.

“Pardon? Why would I be jealous?” Is he serious? No fuck you. She wasn't jealous. The shitty uneasy feeling in her stomach wasn't jealousy. It was... Taco Bell from last night. Yup. Exactly.

“Because your cheeks are a bit flushed,” he said, poking her face. She grabbed his wrist and narrowed her eyes challengingly.

“That's cause I was assaulted by your bony ass.” She rolled her eyes and he chuckled.

“Whatever you say, love. Eventually you're going to fall for me. They always do.” Harry texted dale to let him know he was ready to head out.

“Sure, of course, and then I’m gonna paint my nails bright pink and walk around in my One Direction shirt, caressing a poster of you above my ceiling every night.” He turned to her with a cocky grin. “The fuck?”

“You have a One Direction shirt?” She rolled her eyes and headed for the door.

“Yeah, I use it as a rag to clean the bathroom floor.” Ellie laughed as they headed to the elevator.

“You need a ride? It’s freezing out.” Harry asked, zipping his coat up.

“And risk being papped with you? Nah it's alright, bud, I'll just head to--” She said as she pulled her beanie on.

“Ell, the car’s in the garage. No one will even see you,” he said thoughtfully. She was right, though. He hated admitting it but, she was always right about this kinda shit. If she hadn't been working all those times they talked at the cafe, the pictures fans had been posting online would've definitely caused some serious crap. Not that he was embarrassed to be seen with her, or the other way around, but she knew management would rip him apart while press was revolving around his new single coming out this month. This was his life. Unable to even drop his damn friend off at her apartment because the paparazzi knew his car plates and would follow them relentlessly.

“Dude, it’s all good,” she said, nudging him a bit. He nodded sourly, accepting their shitty fate. “Yo, text me when you get back,” she said, jumping out of the elevator. He followed her, spotting Dale leaning against his escalade. “Sup, Bruce Banner,” she said, high-fiving him. He laughed and shook his head.

“Bit nippy out now… You sure you don't want a ride?” Dale asked, opening the door for Harry.

“You Brits with your chivalrous ways,” she said, sending them a wink. With that, she jogged up the hill of the garage and out into the cold. Dale chuckled.

“Rather like that one, Harry,” he said before hopping into the driver's seat. Yeah, so did Harry. He was just trying his best not to.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As a present. A double update. EAT IT UP FRIENDS.

We Can’t Be Friends – Chapter 6

 

Alright. It’s been bothering her. It's been really eating away at her. She tried to hitch it up the last two weeks or so, but everytime Harry’s phone buzzed and his olive green eyes lit up, it was kinda like a stab to her chest. Which was bullshit because she had no right to be upset. They're fucking friends. Amigos. Besties. Nadine wasn't a threat. If anything, Ellie needed to be his wingwoman. It was thoughts like this that made her nauseous. She was supposed to be happy for him. But fuck, it hurt. Like really bad heartburn after chipotle. Ooh, chipotle sounded good. Harry was walking around the island in his huge ass kitchen, when Ell showed up two chipotle bags in her hands. His smile grew at the sight. 

“Alright Versace, I got you chipotle,” she said, putting the bags on the counter. 

“Thanks, Ell. You’re like my mum. Always making sure I eat and what not,” he said, pulling out his gross ass rabbit salad.

“Yeah well, you can tell Anne why you've gained 10 pounds when you see her for Thanksgiving. I’m sure that will blow over well.” He chuckled and shook his head.

“You nervous to meet my family?” He said, scooping guac into his bowl. 

“You make it sound like we've been dating. I'm your best friend, dipshit.” Ellie shoved her quesadilla into the microwave as Harry's eyes watched her every move. God, he always does that. Like everything she did was fascinating. He even watched her when she’d do her makeup at his place. And yes okay, she did do that because her three roommates crowding one bathroom to achieve perfect contour was worse then fucking Ulta. 

“And yet, your friends don't know about me,” he said it like she wanted to hide it. But to her, who literally gives fuck if she's friends with Harry Styles? Dude was a regular annoying little shit who just happened to keep good company. He also wasn't exactly bad to look at. Harry cursed and looked down at the guac spilled on his black t-shirt. 

“Dude, your mouth is huge. How could you miss it?” Ellie laughed as she pulled her food out and walked over to his fridge to grab some water bottles. She turned around and froze in place. Okay. In all fairness, their friendship was pretty normal. And within a few weeks of being friends with her other friends, she's changed in the bathroom with them and showered with the door open. So like, it wasn't all too awkward. As an art major, she also had been taking live drawing classes since she was 17. And yes, she's seen Harry shirtless in photos before--Hailey made fucking sure of that part--but she wasn't exactly prepared for it in person. Especially all the tattoos. Fuck. Her weakness. She knew about them, and saw them when he wore short sleeves, but the leaves just above his v-line and the huge butterfly on his sternum. Deep breathing. Heavy deep and uncontrollable breathing.

“First of all, piss off,” he said chuckling and knocking her out of her thoughts. Stop fucking staring Ellanore, you perv. “Second, that was a $50 shirt. It better come out.” 

“You..” She cleared her throat, talk normal for fuck’s sake. “You spent $50 on a friggen black t-shirt.” She handed him a water bottle and he thanked her, swooping his curls up in a bun. Are you fucking serious. “God the privilege is real.” He swatted her arm.

“Oi, singing pays well. Maybe you should change careers.” 

“Oh sure, let me just go tell my advisors I’m looking into becoming the next Harry Styles. She’ll have a field day.” 

“Guess you’re still taking that class in the summer?” He asked, cautiously looking up. 

“No, actually she called me a couple days later and said someone switched out and was able to get me in the December break. I'll be graduating in May, but at least it won't be next friggen December.” Harry nodded vigorously.

“See, things work out sometimes, Ms Pessimism.” Ellie snorted. 

“Sorry I dont shit cotton candy and puke rainbows.” Harry burst out laughing.

“That'd be pretty interesting to watch, honestly.” Suddenly Harry’s phone buzzed. Goddamn Nadine. Harry licked his lips as his fingers tapped away. 

“So am I ever going to see a picture of your future wifey?” Harry stiffened and looked up. 

“Why?” 

“Because I’m your wingwoman and I want to approve.” Ellie quickly snatched his phone and he made to reach for it, but she elbowed his fucking rock hard abs. Nice, Ellie. Keep your lady boner at bay. She hit photos on the texts and her teeth clenched. Holy fuck. She was hot. Like not your basic Victoria’s Secret hot. Like beautiful Brazilian hot. Crap. Harry’s hand pulled the phone from her grasp and she stuck her tongue out. 

“Yall been talking for like a month, when are you guys gonna do the do?” Ellie crossed her arms and leaned on the island. 

“Not everything is about sex you know. Some people have emotional connections as well,” he mumbled, locking his phone and putting it next to him. 

“You sound like a fucking Christian after-school special. I'm straight and I even know I’d turn for that chick if she asked.” Harry sighed.

“This is why you're single.” 

“Why because I'm realistic?” Ellie laughed. 

“No, because you’re not thinking how to properly meet someone and fall in love,” he said matter-of-factly. A hint of annoyance seeping into his voice. First off, fuck you, my dude, Ellie knew love. She also knew about fucking heartbreak. 

 

“Also me being a virgin thing doesn't help,” she stated casually. She heard a choked gasp next to her and Harry’s eyes widened. She could've sworn she saw them darken and maybe even filled with.. lust? Nah. 

“You’re joking.” Was it so shocking? 

“Not really no.” And here comes the uncomfortable part. Her cheeks blushed a bit.

“You seriously... but. But you--” Ellie shook her head.

“ I mean, I know it’s hard to believe no one wants a piece of this delicious cake, but yeah... No one’s really rushing to be with a poor basic looking, mediocre art student, who uses pencils to put her hair up and wears Hot Topic band tees for a living. ” She laughed, trying to make it a joke but Harry’s face became serious. “What..?”

“You are not basic-looking,” he muttered. Ellie snorted.

“Yeah okay,” she said, going to turn away. She felt his hand wrap around her wrist to stop her. She finally locked eyes with him. 

“You are not basic,” he said sternly. Christ, she felt like her underwear just disappeared. He let go of her. “Besides, any man would be lucky to--” He was cut short by his ringing phone. He picked it up and tried not to smile. Of fucking course. “Sorry, one minute… Hey you.” He began walking towards his room. He turned and Ellie gave him a thumbs up. She heard his door slide closed and her shoulders slumped. Yeah, okay. This was short lived. Sighing, she began to clean up their half eaten meals. 

 

 

Ellie was pretty attached to her camera. It was like a purse to her and she carried it around wherever she’d go. Harry always teased her, especially when she’d whip it out at the most random times. Snapping photos of him watching his rom coms. Or even when he’s sitting at the cafe and she’s bored behind the counter. He called her a future paparazzi, but she’d just punch his arm hard and glare. Paparazzi were trash who did it for money. Ellie took photos of people for pure art. Candids were her favorite. Nothing captures something as raw an actual unposed un-edited moment in time. She’d never post them or anything, even when Harry would beg her to send a couple. 

“But I like them.” He pouted like a 5-year-old.

“Super. And you’ll like them from afar. I don't need you posting shit up on your instagram and exposing my ass like that.” She’d laugh. But what she didn't know was that Harry would sometimes sneak her camera and take photos of her randomly. So when he sent her a photo one day he had taken of her, she almost choked on her cereal. It was probably the stupidest picture of herself to exist. She was knocked out on his couch, wrapped in a blanket. 

“You dickhead,” she whispered. 

“Who is a dickhead?” Her roommate Kaia spoke up, walking in and grabbing a cup of coffee. 

“No one. Just some stupid fan tweet I read online,” Ellie mumbled, locking her phone and slurping down her Lucky Charms. 

“We still down for the bar tonight? If I have to hear Clair’s mouth one more time.. She needs dick. I honestly can't stand it anymore.” Kaia was one of Ellie’s best friends. She was studying psych at NYU, and was probably the best person to talk to for advice. Although Ellie wasn't sure how you’d start a conversation with: ‘So, I’ve been best friends with Harry fucking Styles the past four months or so and were just friends but I also have this obnoxious urge to fuck him senseless, but he’s too busy living in this beautiful girl’s waxed ass’. Yeah, no, that sounds terrible. 

“Yeah, why not. Might as well get shitfaced.” It had been so long since all three of her roommates and her had a night off all at once. Marge had told her to come in late tomorrow and she was a-okay with getting hammered this Friday night. 

Anna stormed into the kitchen as well, grabbing juice from the fridge. 

“OKAY, GOAL FOR TONIGHT. CLAIR NEEDS COCK-” She let out a frustrated groan. Anna was her other roomie. She was an English major, currently going for her Master’s at NYU. All three of our heads shot to the bathroom where Clair let out a yell. 

“GODDAMN EYELINER! I JUST FUCKING BOUGHT YOU YESTERDAY!” They heard crashing and all three of them cringed. 

“Yeah, homegirl needs to get dicked down.” Ellie threw her dish in the sink. Harry had texted her around 12 today asking her to come over and help him with something. Of course she couldn't say no, no matter how hard she wanted to avoid him. They hadn't seen each other in a couple of days which was like months to them. 

“Where the fuck are you off to?” Kaia asked. “I feel like your a fucking vigilante who has a double life.”

“Obviously. Have yall seen my nunchucks? I thought I left them in the bathroom--” Ellie sassed back as Anna raised an eyebrow.

“Do you have some secret boyfriend we don't know about?” She crossed her arms, grilling Ell. Fuck no. I wish. 

“Ya’ll would be the first to know honestly. Also, I'd make Clair breakfast before she walks out that bathroom. She hasn't eaten since yesterday at lunch, and you all know how she is when she's unfed.” Anna and Kaia gulped and looked at one another. 

“Fuck.” Kaia quickly began making toast and eggs. 

 

“Honey I’m home!” Ellie said, opening Harry's door. She froze as she noticed a rather short man standing in Harry’s living room, his fingers typing away. He looked up and gave her a kind smile.

“AH, you must be Nadine.” He said, outstretching his hand. Um, fuck no, homie, do I look like a Brazilian bathing suit model to you?

“No, Ellanore.” He made an ' o ' with his mouth.

“Oh shit, I’m sorry. I’m Jeff. Harry's manager. I just assumed with the whole--honey, I’m home bit. Sorry. Joke flew right over.” He stuttered and shook his head.

“S’all good. Hey, have you seen-”

“IS THAT MY WIFE? RETURNING FROM THE WAR?” Harry's voice echoed through the apartment. Ellie laughed.

“YES IT IS I, COME TO WHISK YOU AWAY TO THE GREEN MEADOWS OF IRELAND MY SWEET!” She responded, heading towards his door. It slid open to Harry laughing. God, he was pretty when he smiled that big. 

“Alas, I have been blacklisted from such a country. BUT we always have New York.” He pulled a shirt over his head. “Thanks for coming on short notice-”

“Nah, I was just narrowly escaped Clair’s hangry wrath. I think she broke a fucking mirror.” Harry made a scared face.

“Christ, sounds brutal.” 

“The most metal.” 

“So, I uhm.. I need your help.” Ellie leaned against the door frame.

“Dude, you know my fashion sense goes as far as black jeans and a tank top.” He shook his head.

“I’m aware... I uhm, actually was wondering. The studio needs some promo shots of me... I know you don't want to really do that kind of work, but-”

“How much of a bind are you in exactly?” 

“Christ flaked.” Ellie thought for a moment. Friends help friends. And this isn't exactly the most extravagant favor in the world.

“Get dressed. Where we heading?” Harry's face lit up like she had just given him a cookie. 

“Jeff has the car downstairs. You’re a damn life savor.” He wrapped his arms around her and squeezed her extra tight. She gasped for air dramatically and pushed him away.

“You smell like Tom Ford,” she said randomly. He laughed,

“Yes well, that's because I have him on.” 

 

“Kinky,” she said, raising her eyebrows and walking out of the room. Jeff was still blasting his through his texts as she and Harry headed towards the door.

“Ready, Jeff? She said she's good for it,” Harry said, grabbing a backpack of his stuff. Jeff smiled widely.

“Perfect! You'll of course be compensated-” He began and Ellie turned to Harry.

“Harry...” She warned him.

“It's not my money, don't worry. It's the label’s.” She glared him down for another minute.

“Fine. In that case, okay.” They all exited to the elevators, heading to the garage.


	7. Chapter 7

We Can’t Be Friends- Chapter 7

 

 

Ellie walked into the large studio flat. It was beautiful. Simple and rustic. The walls were partial brick and huge bay windows were everywhere, letting sun shine through softly. There was also a huge backdrop as well as an area for harry's makeup and clothes. She smiled taking it in. It was truly her dream to be doing this the rest of her life. There was no furniture aside from a few basics like a vintage looking velvet chair, and a couple of wooden stools. One of the windows had a small ledge , almost like sitting area. Oh yeah, she felt inspired.

“Whad’ya think?” Harry asked behind her.

“Dude, I’m living. This is like... my dream studio,” she said, laughing a little. Harry chuckled and hugged her from behind.

“Welp for the next four hours it's ours. I’m gonna go change,” he said, hip checking her a bit and walking towards the green room area.

 

 

By the third hour, Ellie had fallen into her groove. Posing him, lighting the room a certain way. They even gave her an assistant, Nia, to help with setup. She'd walk over to the computer and look at the photos between every twenty frames. Harry walked up behind her, his eyes lighting up like a kid in a candy store.

“These are incredible. They've asked me to uhm, do something rather daring.” Ellie turned to him questioningly.

“How daring?” He smiled at her before running towards the changing area. Ellie walked to the tall dark grey backdrop. There was a black soapbox sitting in the middle.

“Nia, can you just pull that softbox light over here? I think I’m gonna give him a little shadowing. On his left,” Ellie said, lifting her camera up and adjusting the settings. Nia fixed the light over head, darkness surrounding them aside from that one area.

“Holy shit,” Nia whispered next to her. Ellie looked up at her, confused, before following her gaze. Oh... my …. fucking... fuck. Harry, in all his glory, nude. Naked as the day he was born. Holding a white and gold electromatic guitar directly in front of his package. He caught her eye and an evil smile grew.

 

When they asked him to do daring, he knew he'd grab attention with this type of shoot. Sure, he was being rather ballsy and yes, he was using his epic array of body art to sell this but why not? He was always itching to do something this outlandish, and he knew no one would object. Besides, Ellie practically was the queen of these types of anatomy shoots. From some of the work he'd seen, she had a way of posing people's bodies so naturally and beautiful, he wouldn't think of asking anyone else. The girl deserved to be recognized, no matter how much she'd fight him on it.

“Holy shit,” Nia had exclaimed and Harry had to bite back a smirk. Okay, he was proud as fuck for all those boxing workouts he'd been at. But when he caught Ellie’s eyes blown wide and her mouth slightly hanging, he felt just a bit accomplished.

“When you say daring I... I thought you meant crossdressing,” she stuttered. Harry shrugged, walking right up to them.

“And deny the world an awesome picture of my ass? No way,” he said smugly. Nia was staring at him in awe.

Ellie's breath kept hitching in her throat. Bitch, you've seen hundreds of naked people. You've been fucking trained for this. Keep your eyes on his and don't you dare look--Fuck okay, no, NO, looking down. Why was it getting hotter in here? Shit shit shit. Also did he put on more cologne? Cause he smells fucking amazing.

“Oi, earth to Ellanore?” Harry waved his hand in her face. “Ready?” He said, giving her a thumbs up.

“Uh, yeah just.. go sit and extend one leg out and have the guitar resting on your thigh.” She gulped and Harry did as instructed.

“Like this?” He asked.

“Yeah, perfect -- Oh christ,” She looked up and pinched her nose. “Dude, your dick. It's out, push it to the side or something.” Harry burst out laughing.

“Are you always this red?” He adjusted his position.

“This is way more of you than I ever needed to see in this friendship.” She rolled her eyes and began photographing him.

“You've literally showered at my flat like 100 times,” he exclaimed. “How’s this any different?”

“Because I’m in my bra and underwear--and a damn towel, stop moving.” She yelled back. Oh, seems he pushed a button or two. “Nia, can you fix his hair. Nia?” Nia was still in shock and starring Harry down as well as pretty much everyone in the room. Apparently Jeff was the only one aware of this concept and he was loving the reactions of shock. “Fuck it, I got it,” she mumbled, handing the camera to her stunned assistant. She walked over to wear Harry was low to the ground leaning on his guitar. He looked up as she brushed back some of his curls and leaned down to fix his necklace.

Once again, his eyes followed her every move. He watched the way her fingers would wound through his hair, and how her jaw was clenching nervously. She was also red all over her chest and neck, clearly flushing from the current situation. Damn, he really got her flustered. When she trailed her fingertips down his neck to fix his crucifix, he froze, catching her glance.

“What?” She asked barely audible.

“You smell nice,” he said softly. She gulped and rolled her eyes.

“Yeah, well.. shower so.” She turned on her heel and stalked back to her camera. Harry bit his lip to keep from laughing. Finally, she was at a loss for words with him. He finally caught her tongue. An idea came to mind and he shook his hair in front of his face and threw it back, messing it up again. He could see her eyes narrow and she forcefully handed the camera back to Nia. He smirked as she approached him again and refixed his hair. He stared up at her with puppy dog eyes, and watched as she once again touched him up. He moved the guitar a bit, loosened up. She turned and groaned, looking away again.

“Dude, can you seriously control that thing or--”

“Guitar’s a bit cold, not exactly my fault,” he said, raising an eyebrow.

“Well, fix it.”

“Or you'll fix it for me?” His cocky grin re-appeared and he could see murder in her eyes.

“Sure, castrating is a good way to fix it,” she said, beginning to walk over. Harry quickly adjusted his position and she smiled in triumph.

 

“I would have fixed it for him,” Nia mumbled next to Ellie as she replaced the memory card to her camera. Ellie snorted and shook her head.

“And fall into that trap? Nah, I don't fuck with fuck boys,” Ellie said, waiting for the makeup artist to fix Harry’s highlight.

“Uhhh girl, I’d fuck so hard with that fuck boy and accept my damned fate.” Nia retorted handing her the camera.

“You poor girl.” Nia laughed and nudged her.

“Oh god, even his ass is nice.” Ellie turned and saw Harry standing tall, the guitar behind his back and his arms stretched over. Shit. Abort abort abort.

“God, this is something I could’ve seriously lived without.” And it’s true. If her fantasies of him weren't already fucked six ways from Sunday, she could easily have lived without these perfect visuals to fuel her fire. Of course he had a toned ass. And fucking dimples on them. And tattoos on his back. God, this was torture. But she was professional and she had 40 more frames left. Suck it the fuck up.

 

People were wrapping up the set as Jeff signed and handed her a check. She smiled and shoved it in her bag. Harry--now fully fucking clothed--walked towards her, smiling like crazy.

“Honestly, one of my favorite shoots yet,” he said, wrapping an arm around her shoulder. “She do good, Jeff?”

“Incredible, actually. We’ll definitely be considering you in the future. Harry’s got a good eye for artistic talents,” Jeff said proudly.

“Glad I could help.” Ellie checked her watch. Shit, she had to go get ready for the club tonight.

“Wanna postmates some dinner?” Harry asked, holding the door for her as they made their way to the car.

“As much as I’d love to binge on oreos and watch you cry over love stories gone wrong, I can't.” She frowned up at him.

“Are you cheating on me?” Ellie rolled her eyes in the back of her head as he laughed.

“That’s my joke, homeboy, go get your own. And no. Club night with the roomies. Apparently, Clair needs to get dicked asap.” She heard him snort next to her.

“Need me to make a call? I think Liam’s single again.” She shoved him roughly causing him to stumble into a puddle. He groaned. “Woman, you’re going to have to answer to my dry cleaner if you cause one more wardrobe malfunction to me.”

“THERE HE IS!” Ellie’s head snapped up and to Harry, his face color draining.

“Shit, have fun,” she said, saluting him. With a glower in her direction, Dale hopped out of the black town car.

“Ms Ellie,” Dale greeted her.

“Yeah they’re here.” She pointed to the corner to see ten fans come flying down the block. “See you kids.”

“Have fun tonight,” Harry said, preparing for the fans as the bounded toward him. “You wanna borrow Dale?”

“Nah, you need the hulk more than I do,” she said, patting Dale’s shoulder. Dale chuckled and shook his head.

 

As the girls reached him, they began taking selfies and talking excitedly. Ellie paused at the end of the street, watching him thoughtfully. Okay, he was an egotistical asshat sometimes, but fuck if he didn’t adore his fans. He truly loved what he did.

 

“SHOTS SHOTS SHOTS!” Ellie screamed in Clair’s face as she downed three shots of fireball. Kaia rolled her eyes and Anna stared in horror.

“Ell, she’s gonna die.” Anna said, nervously sipping her drink. Clair swayed a bit and giggled, leaning on Ellie’s shoulder.

“Nah, she good,” Ellie laughed, glancing around the club. Music blasted as different colored lights flickered rhythmically. People grinded to the beat and sang to the lyrics. Ellie wasn't much of a drinker, but she did enjoy letting loose on the dance floor. When she turned back around, she noticed Clair smiling flirtatiously to a blonde-haired boy. She was flipping her hair and leaning into him as he snaked his arm around her waist. Welp. Get it girl. She noticed Kaia and Anna hanging back watching over their inebriated friend.

“Hey, you guys good?” Ellie asked. Kaia nodded and shoved her towards the dance floor.

“Go get dick, girl. You deserve it.” Kaia encouraged. Ellie rolled her eyes and laughed, taking her advice and heading to the dance floor.

 

I mean she did look pretty good tonight. Tight black jeans. Sexy ass boot heels, high enough to give her knee pain and a seemingly low-cut black halter bodysuit. As she closed her eyes and she shook her head to the beat, the music overcame her. She secretly longed for this feeling. Freedom and carefree. She wasn't sure how long she had been lost in the sounds of the DJ before she spun around and stopped dead in her tracks. Maybe it was the booze but... that tall guy across the dance floor looks a lot like. Fuck. How. THERE’S LIKE 50 FUCKING CLUBS IN THIS CITY. SERIOUSLY? THIS WASN’T EVEN BOUGIE ENOUGH FOR HIM.

Harry wasn't alone, though. Instead, he was leaning down, his hands snaked around a tiny little waist, head buried in her neck. She was in red stilettos that looked like they cost more than Ellie’s entire apartment, a tiny dark red dress stopping just under her butt. As they turned toward her, she could tell Harry was plastered. He was shifting back and forth from foot to foot trying to balance. Okay, maybe it was some rando. You know that he... is sucking on her neck. Ow. Fuck. Shit, she was gorgeous. Beautiful tan skin, round soft lips... it’s like she was fucking built for him. She looked like a goddess. Ellie watched as their lips met and that’s probably what kick started her panic attack.

Shit. She quickly turned and ran towards the exit. Bumping into people as her vision began to blur. She hadn’t had one of these in a while... actually, since she met Harry. Like hell she was gonna tell him that though. 10.. 9... 8… Inhale. She managed to make it past the bar and swiftly pushed her way through the last of the crowd and out into the freezing winter night. 7...6...5... Inhale. She stumbled a bit and looked around her frantically. 'You’re okay. You’re okay. You’re out. You’re okay,' she thought, leaning forward, trying to get blood to her head. What the fuck was this? Seriously? Her chest tightened and she closed her eyes, her hair falling around her as she continued counting down. Find your chill, come on! She thought bitterly. When she felt her breath begin to even out, she leaned against the brick wall and leaned against it for support. She was 90% sure everyone on that line including the bouncer was looking at her like she was fucking nuts.

“You alright, doll?” Someone next to her spoke calmly. As if approaching her was going to spook her. She didn't open her eyes just took a last deep breath and nodded. “You sure? It's like 30 degrees out...” She finally turned to him. Oh wow. Those are some blue ass eyes. And pretty fucking cheekbones. Crap. Did this hottie just witness her have a minor meltdown? Cool. She’s well aware her hair was frizzing and her eyeliner was more on her cheeks than on her eyes.

“Y-Yeah. Sorry. Uhm..” Her breathing was still a bit heavy. “Panic attack. Ya know,” she said, trying to play it cool. He laughed a little.

“Yeah no that’s casual, I guess,” he said, shaking his head a bit. His black shagged hair fell across his forehead. Holy hell. Calm, bitch, calm! He reached his hand out. “I’m Henry.” Oh hello hottie Henry.

“Ellanore. Call me Ellie, though, my parents were obsessed with that song in the 60s by the Turtles--and I’m babbling, sorry,” she said, catching her breath. He laughed and she swore she could feel her ovaries gravitating towards him.

“It’s all right. I dig babbling,” he said, tossing his cigarette to the ground stepping on it. “So... my sister used to get those attacks... you wanna talk about it?” He asked softly. Ellie sighed.

“Uhm actually-SHIT.” She said spotting Dale pull up with Harry’s car. She turned and began to panic again. No, not again damn it. Suddenly, she felt hands intertwine with hers.

“Hey, look at me,” Henry said seriously. She tried to focus but oops, here comes blurred vision. “Ellie--”

“Okay. this about to be the weirdest fucking request you've ever probably gotten in your life but I’m gonna need you to like plant one on me.” He tilted his head in confusion. “Public displays of affection make people very uncomfortable.”

“Yes, they do...” She leaned in and pressed her lips to his. She could hear Harry's voice behind her as a couple of fans screamed from the line. Get in the car, you dipshit, get in the car. Oh wow, you taste like mint. She felt his hands slide up gently on her neck. Damn, you’re good, blue eyes.

“Nadine love, get in. ‘m gonna say hi,” Harry slurred. She could hear him taking selfies with the girls. Are you fucking kidding me--?

 

“Alright loves, Harry's gotta get home,” Dale said, dragging him to the escalade. Yes Dale, THAT’S MY DUDE. This kiss is actually pleasant, though. Her nerves calmed as she heard the door slam and the car pull away. When she pulled back from Henry, his eyes were shining brightly.

“Well.. That was--” He began softly.

“Okay thanks for saving my ass back there,” she said, backing up a bit.

“Wait wait--I deserve an explanation for that.” He crossed his arms. “Do you uh... you hungry?” Ellanore hesitated. I mean yes, she was so about going out for food because her epic buzz was gone, but her friends. “Or...” He rubbed the back of his neck, nervously awaiting her answer. Ugh, Harry does that--NO. What? Don't you fucking dare. “Milkshakes are pretty good at this diner down the street.”

“ You know what... let me just text my friends.” Ellie whipped her phone out and shot them a message receiving a thumbs up emoji. She laughed. “Alright, milkshake time.”


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for the reads my loves! Im so glad you guys like this story, i just wanted to make it as realistic as possible.

We Can’t Be Friends- Chapter 8

 

 

“And that’s the way the cookie crumbles, basically.” Ellie slurped up the rest of her vanilla milkshake, scooping out the ice cream chunks with her straw. Henry stared at her, taking in her entire story. From the coffee shop right up until their impromptu makeout session.

“But... if you like him why don't you just tell him?” Ellie raised an eyebrow.

“Dude, are you insane? This is Harry fuckin Styles,” she said. And okay, she hated using his fame as a scapegoat for her being chickenshit but let’s be real. It was more of her being self-conscious. Especially after witnessing him practically fucking that Victoria’s Secret model on the dance floor. She was sure another shot and there clothes woulda been discarded right then and there. “I’m just.. me. Average old, poor as fuck art student.. me.” She dipped a fry In his chocolate shake. He gave her a half-smile.

“But what's so bad about that? I mean, aren't you guys best friends? Maybe he's harboring the same feelings,” he said matter-of-factly. Henry reached over and stole some curly fries from her plate and dipped them in ketchup.

“Once again. Harry fucking Styles. Dude literally dated Kendall Jenner... and Taylor Swift. But he's not one to really talk about past relationships. Not to mention, he was playing tonsil hockey with that exotic goddess on the dancefloor.” Henry chuckled.

“I mean, we were getting pretty into it at the front door when he walked out.” She narrowed her eyes at him.

“Touché.” She sighed, leaning back and dramatically dropping her head against the red leather booth. “Just tell me how fucked I am.”

“Eh, you'll be okay. Besides, you kiss him the way you kissed me and I think he'll just end up proposing right then and there.” Henry sipped at his coke. Ellie opened one eye and gave him a smile.

“Oh yeah?” She said, licking her lips and sitting upright. Henry nodded slowly, a devious smile matching hers. Oooh, okay boy. I see you.

“Yeah, I mean, it was pretty hot. My girlfriend’s gonna be pissed.” Ellie’s face fell.

“You son of a-” Henry let out a hard laugh sitting forward, making Ellie grill him.

“That’s payback,” he said, pointing a finger at her.

“For what? I thought you said you liked it?” She said, her mouth still hanging open. Boy, did you just...

“Oh, I did. Like … a lot. But I can't compete with Harry fucking Styles. You just put me up in a losing battle.” He smirked.

“Who said anything about competing?” She said, leaning forward next to his ear. She felt him tense up. When she sat back, she noticed him shifting. Make ‘em squirm.

“Are you always this crazy?” She shrugged and tossed a fry at his head.

“Yeah, I think it’s cause of all the paint fumes.” Okay. Her heart may be fluttering and her palms may be sweaty, and sure her insides may be on fire. But no matter how hard she tried, she couldn't get the image of Nadine and Harry out of her head. “I should probably head back. 3 am, I'm surprised my roommates haven’t sent out a search squad yet.” He nodded.

“Yeah, I’ve got class in the morning anyway.” Ellie made to grab her card before Henry quickly grabbed the bill.

“Dude-”

“Nah, my treat. Besides, I’m compensating for that epic makeout session.” Fair. As they walked out, Ellie shook at the whipping night wind. “Okay as a dude, I would ignore the fact you’re cold, but I’m a gentleman and I can't let you get back to your place in just that tiny shirt.” He slipped off his black and white flannel and wrapped it around her. “M'lady, take this token of appreciation as my way of courting you.” She laughed and snuggled into its warmth. Fuck, it smelled like him. And he smelled like dirty delicious, but loving sex.

“Why thank you, kind sir, I shall treasure it till we meet once more,” she said in her best Shakespearean voice.

“It’s all good. You can wear it then next time you see loverboy. Hopefully he'll question you all jealous like and throw a fit.” Ellie snorted.

“Oh no, I’m about to avoid him like the black plague,” she said, slipping her arms in and drawing the flannel closed.

“Whoa, why?”

“Because I tend to be really bad with conflict. I mean, I almost punched him the fuck out the first time we met. And that was because he dropped attitude. And yeah, he really didn't do anything wrong, but if I avoid him, I avoid these crappy feelios that are kind of taunting me,” she explained all in one breath. Henry stared at her completely confused.

“You are one strange girl.” He shook his head. “I dig it. Oh--Lemme see your phone.” She handed him her iphone. “Here. If you feel like you’re about to go into panic attack mode, call me.” He gave it back, locking eyes with her.

“Yeah but, it's fine I don't want to bother you-” She blushed a bit. Here was a complete stranger, someone she met literally hours ago and he was offering her support at all hours of his day.

“Ell, like I said. My sister has them. I pretty much raised her, so I'm pretty good at talking people down.” He shrugged a bit. “Besides, comes with the whole psychiatry major.” She gave him a genuine smile.

“You’re a pretty fucking amazing person,” she said softly. His cheeks turned red and he looked away.

“So are you, Ellanore. Don't let any guy or fuck boy make you question yourself. If they can't handle it, they’re not worth your time.” He hailed a cab as Ellie waved goodbye to him. Shit. And as much as she wanted to take his advice and confront Harry and spill her fucking heart out, she was about to do the exact fucking opposite. She needed to step back. Let Harry establish himself with this girl Nadine. It’ll be easier to hide her inconvenient crush that way.

 

And on the third day, Ellie was still wrapped up in that great smelling flannel, rolling around her bed and inhaling the sexy man smell. She wasn't sure why cologne was such a turn on but hey, everyone's got kinks. Harry had managed to drunk text her Friday after she and Henry parted ways. Of course she hit the fuck you button so hard she practically dropped her phone. She so wanted to talk to him and hear his voice. And she shamefully had the best sex dream on Saturday, the way Harry’s shoulders were contorting as he grinded on top of her. His fucking lips sucking marks down her neck. And fuck, that tight ass. She imagined digging her nails into it. Of course she woke like it was nightmare because ew. That was her best friend. How fucking dare she. Disgusted with herself, she managed to preoccupy herself with other things. Late night drawing sessions for example... to bad they all ended up being of that green eyed dickface.

“You ever gonna wash that thing?” Clair made a disgusted face as Ellie walked out of her room, underwear and nothing but that flannel.

“And risk the sexy man smells being gone? Fuck to the no,” she said, falling to the couch.

“Gross Ell,” Kaia said looking up from her laptop.

“I knew you had a secret boyfriend,” Anna said, smirking up at her from the floor. Ellie’s eyes narrowed.

“First off, I told you. I met him outside the club-”

“Yeah, why were you outside the club? To be exact, I saw you on the dance floor one minute and then poof, you split.” Kaia closed her computer and crossed her arms. Great. Here comes the interrogation. She managed to avoid it since they all had work over the weekend and kept missing one another.

“I just needed some air. It was too crowded.” Ellie played with the buttons on the shirt.

“Well, you’ll never guess who was spotted there after you dipped.” Kaia replied.

“HARRY STYLES!” Clair exclaimed, bouncing up and down.

“Christ, okay, who cares?” Ellie said, pushing Clair off her.

“Uhm I do? In my drunken haze, I could've been getting some with his fine ass-”

“Not with his girlfriend there.” Shit. Nice going big mouth. All three of them turned to her. “I heard he was seeing someone,” she said shrugging nonchalantly.

“You keep up with Harry Styles updates?” Kaia had her grilling face on. Shit shit shit, look anywhere but her eyes. It was like her latina eyes were the lasso of truth. Ellie always fucking cracked when they’d have a stare-down. Weak ass bitch.

“No, I was watching TMZ and they said some shit about it. I don't know--who cares? Henry was insanely fucking attractive. I would’ve jumped his bones in seconds.” Ellie flipped the subject. Avoiding her best friend meant not talking about said best friend.

“Alright.” Anna gave her an odd look. Kaia, however, knew she was full of the shitiest bullshit ever.

 

 

Eight days. Eight days of literally not speaking to her best fucking friend. Eight days of no bagels or coffee runs. No netflix sessions or take out late night parties. Eight fucking days of Harry blowing up her phone, over 100 calls, close to 200 texts. He even threatened to put out a search warrant. If he wasn't aware she was avoiding him, then he clearly was in denial. God, she wished he'd just forget about her. Forget about her simple basic ass. You had Nadine, bitch. That girl was classy and beautiful and probably instagram famous with 100k followers.

So here Ellie was, her normal spot behind the cafe counter, ringing up customers, dealing with Hailey's crazy ass and Max's nosey self. Marge gave her the biggest smile though when she came in at 6am this morning. It was around 3pm, her pencil quickly sketching out her thoughts when she heard a bing behind her.

“Fucking delivery service,” she muttered, smacking her head on the counter. Of course it was her fucking turn to do it to.

“Order up, Bitchy McBitch.” Max said sliding over the address and cup holder of four scolding hot coffees and teas.

“Can't you go? I’m on my period,” she said grumpily. Not really, but hey, you don't actually downright ask a girl if she really is or not.

“God Ellanore, gross. And no, I’m in the middle of filing the reports for the week. It's literally 10 minutes away.” she groaned and got up tying her apron tight. She fixed her space buns and slipped her drawing pencil behind her ear. She grabbed her Henry's black and white flannel, pulling it around her as well as her black scarf. Fucking November. Fucking winter. She missed her shorts and crickets and the smell of summer nights.

She grabbed the order, as well as the bag of assorted muffins and walked outside to hail a cab. She gave him the address and of course, Max was right. Literally ten minutes away. Fuckface. They pulled up to what looked like a large brick building, not really the most aesthetic-looking front, a black sign hung by the door. Viza Studios. Cool. She looked like complete crap and was walking into a high end business. Whatever. Fuck it. She walked in, drying her black combat boots on the rug before trekking to the front desk. The receptionist, a pretty blonde gave her a smile and waved her to studio B. She gave her a thumbs up and walked down the long hall. Records decorated them, platinum, gold. She admired them, casually reading a plaque or two.

Ellanore stopped at the door with B on it and knocked before hearing a ‘come in.’ She opened the heavy door and glanced around. Fuck, this was fancy. It looked like a warehouse, with high ceilings, and a huge recording booth on the other side of the plexiglass.

“Aye, thanks love! That was rather fast,” a short man with a British accent said, walking over. She smiled.

“Yeah, we’re only about ten minutes away.” She shrugged, still admiring the huge soundboard. The room was lit with white string lights to give it ambiance.

“Oooh, still hot. Perfect,” he said, sipping from one of the cups. He walked over to the board and clicked a button. “OI! CAFFEINE'S HERE! HARRY--GOT YOU THAT WEIRD DRINK YOU LIKE TOO.” Ellie smiled and handed the food to the man before freezing. Wait... did he just fucking say--

“Got you,” she heard from behind her. Her jaw clenched. That son of a bitch. She was trapped. Uh oh, she felt it. It was coming onto her so fast she had bite her tongue.

“Fuck,” she said, turning around slowly. “ H-hey man-” She began. But was cut off by Harry grabbing her wrist and dragging her from the room. She tried to get him off, but he wouldn't budge. She gripped onto the door frame and pleaded with his bandmates and producer. “HELP! HE’S GONNA MURDER ME! WHY ARE YOU ALL STARING? I’M ABOUT TO DIE!”

“STOP BEING DRAMATIC!” He yelled pulling at her waist now. She flailed trying to escape his grasp. Fuck, she needed to go back to kickboxing.

“NO NO NO! YOU! WITH THE HAT--SAVE ME!” She begged as Harry rolled his eyes and soon managed to get a good grip. He pulled her down the hall to one of the empty rooms and kicked the door shut, locking it behind him. Ellie crawled away and cowered in the corner. “WATCH IT, BOY! I’M LIKE A RAT--YOU CORNER ME AND I WILL CHEW THROUGH YOU!” She warned as Harry raised an eyebrow and crossed his arms, clearly unamused.

“Did you have soda today?” he asked casually.

“SO WHAT IF I DID!?” She said defensively, also crossing her arms.

“Ellanore. What happened? I've been trying to contact you for a week. It’s like you dropped off the planet after that shoot--” Her hands went to her ears. Nope, no. We’re gonna not ever talk about how naked as fuck you were in front of me, she thought. We are going to avoid that harder than I’ve been avoiding you. “Jesus, it’s like trying to talk to a child!” He yelled, rubbing at his face in frustration. He sank into the black spinning chair, his eyes staying on her. She couldn't look up. She couldn't. She'd break so fucking fast seeing how she hurt him. After a moment, he scooted closer to her and she closed her eyes leaning back against the wood wall. “Have I.. have I done something?” Harry said almost inaudibly. Fuck.

“N-no. It’s..” She sighed and slammed her head back against the wall.

“Can we possibly discuss this like adults and without you giving yourself a concussion?”

“Is there a third option?” She groaned. With a heavy sigh, Harry sank to the ground next to her. Shit. SHIT. BACK AWAY. YOU SMELL AMAZING? No. NOOO. No, fuck no. She could feel his fucking body heat. God, I wanna punch the fuck out of you. But also straddle your thighs and scream your name. Wow, control your hormones, Christ, Ellie.

“Look, whatever I’ve done,” he began, but Ellie shook her head.

“No, you.. you literally did nothing. I’ve just been, I don't know..” She began to play with her shirt sleeve.

“See, when we became best friends, I chose to trust you with everything. I believe I’ve told you things not even my closest mates know,” he said quietly, his eyes never leaving her. “Trust runs both ways, you know.”

“God, I hate when you get philosophical,” she mumbled. With a heavy breath, she finally looked up and into his eyes. Welp. “I think.. I think my panic disorder is coming back again.” Okay, that wasn't a lie. It wasn't the full truth, but hey, she's a work in progress.

She watched for a reaction. Anything. For along while she thought he might just straight up laugh at her. I mean most people have when she mentions it. She’s pretty much had to deal with everyone’s 'It’s all in your head.' comments since she was diagnosed in 10th grade. Yeah, no shit, honey, mental health issues tend to be in your fucking head. Where your damn brain is. What she wasn't expecting was his arms wrapping around her so tight she might break in half. Fuck, he was strong. His head leaned on her shoulder and she slowly snaked her arms around his neck. She was selfish. Selfish as fucking hell because she begged, no, prayed this hug, was gonna last a while. And by how tight of a hold he had on her, she figured it would. So after a minute, when he pulled away, she knew she wanted nothing more then to be back in those long tattooed arms once more.

“I had no idea. I’m sorry,” he whispered, his fingers brushing away a stray hair from in front of her face. She sighed.

“It’s fine. Well it was fine, till that night when I was at the club,” she muttered. His face scrunched up.

“What happened? Did you and your roommates fight? Did-did someone touch you?” His eyes wandered over her neck and skin as if he was checking for damage.

“No--No, nothing like that. Just... I don't know. To many people, I guess. It’s fine, I’ve made an appointment with a new psychiatrist next week.” He nodded thoughtfully at her words.

“Alright. Let me know if you need any recommendations, I’m sure I can find you the best-”

“ Harry,” She whined and slammed her head against the wall again closing her eyes.

“Don't fucking ‘Harry’ me. Your health is fucking important. I’m not going to have you go to some half-ass quack who will probably just drug you up.” She's never heard his voice this stern and... protective before. It was nice, and dare she say, attractive. Someone who was actually trying to help her fight her inner demons instead of telling her to get over it and just hide them deep down somewhere. “So why didn't you just tell me?” Whoop, there it is. Cause you unintentionally were the cause of it.

“I didn't want to bother you with it, you’re in the middle of recording. I wanted you to have a break from my dramatic ass life.” Okay, also partly true. But more so you could establish your relationship with Nadine.

“Ellanore Hurley. When will you ever fucking realize you are not some nuisance in my life?” He chuckled sadly. “Why must you always take yourself down?”

“Because I’m literally in self-destruct mode,” she said, turning back to him. “I don't want to blow you up with me.”

“Well too bad, because I’m the Churchill to your Roosevelt in this World War II reenactment.” What a fucking dork. But it was her dork. These eight days were some of her darkest in her life without him. And maybe if she could just suck it up, for her best friend and force herself to be happy for him and Nadine, then she will. Because here he was, practically begging her to come back to him. Even with her being a shitty human and ghosting him. Christ. Okay, Ellanore, you got over some pretty crazy shit in your life. This isn’t gonna be the hardest thing to do. It was easy falling in love, should be no problem crawling out of it, right?


	9. Chapter 9

We Can’t Be Friends- Chapter 9

 

 

Wrong. So Fucking Wrong. It was hard. Really freaking hard to watch. And the worst part? Nadine was nice. Like really friggen sweet. Ellie’s inner turmoil was growing and pretty much killing her. Her panic attacks became more frequent, usually at night when she'd wake up in a sweat, panting for air. Dreams of Harry wrapped around her, biting her neck and pulling her hair. She felt dirty. He was her best friend. FRIEND. Why was she so fucked up that she couldn't be happy for him?

 

Harry's mom Anne and sister Gemma were coming in from England today. Ellie was texted to be at the restaurant by 8pm. So her inner turmoil was going to just have to fucking wait because she was kinda excited to meet the two women in Harry’s life that he talked nonstop about. Of course the restaurant had to be super fancy, so Ellie was now trying on every sort of classy type thing she owned. Which was like... four dresses. All of which were three years or older because let’s face it, you’re not exactly worried about getting bougied up for paint class. She held up a maroon dress that constantly made her cringe. Too presidential. She literally wore it for her college interview. To which they looked at her like she had five heads. The next was... sundress. Way to summery. It was something she pulled over her bathing suit... you know the rare times she actually went to a beach. Ugh. This was fucking impossible.

“At this point wherever you’re headed, I’d go fucking naked,” Clair said from the doorway.

“Don't you have company?” Ellie said, rolling her eyes.

“Booty call doesn’t arrive till 9.” She walked over to Ellie’s bed and sprawled out. “So tell me, what’s got you stressing?”

“I got invited to-” She stopped her mouth before she spilled. “This art gallery opening. And there’s a dinner, but its very uppity as fuck.” With that, Ellie’s fell face down on her bed next to Clair.

“I think I have something you can borrow.” Clair ran to her room. Fuck, Ellie knew the next thing she was gonna wanna do was- “Let me do your makeup too.” Yup. That. “Here.” She pulled out a black dress. It was form fitted, but classy, stopping just above the knee. It had an off-the-shoulder neckline and long black sleeves.

“Clair-” She made to protest.

“Shut up and let me grab the matching booties.”

“The what--” But her blonde hair whipped out of the room. “Okay.” With a sigh, she held it up against her and gulped looking into the floor length mirror. This was way tighter than anything she ever owned. Even her black skinny jeans. When Clair returned, she had an arm full of her makeup and tossed the shoes to the floor. Yay....makeup.

 

After an hour, Ellie was once again standing in front of the mirror trying to find comfort in her appearance. She looked beautiful, but it was all... so outside her comfort zone. Her dark hair fell around her shoulder in soft curls. Her neck had a beautiful silver necklace hanging down along with medium silver hoops in her ears. She practically slapped half the makeup out of Clair’s hands as she tried to apply it, so they both agreed minimal... as long as she wore the maroon-colored lipstick. She wasn’t a heels person, but her vans were probably the wrong choice a 5-star restaurant so bootie wedges it was. Hopefully, she didn’t trip and faceplant too hard.

 

Clair put her hands on Ellie’s arms and came up behind her. “Whatever guy you’re trying to get revenge on, make him fucking squirm,” she said with a wink. Ellie’s eyes widened.

“Th-there’s no guy-what-” she stuttered. There was so a guy. A guy with beautiful green eyes that challenged the meadows of Ireland, and dimples so deep you could lose yourself in his smile. Clair laughed and patted her shoulder.

“Ell, we’ve been friends for years. I know when there’s a guy. And he must be a complete ass not to want you,” she said, walking away packing up her makeup. Ellie sighed. “Just remember, make him eat his heart out. You’re a tough bitch, Ellie, make him work for forgiveness.” She walked out and wished her luck.

 

Ellie arrived at the restaurant, and holy fuck. They even had a greeter. He opened the door and led her to the semi-private room harry arranged. She stopped short in front of the door and began to back up. Was she fucking crazy? She couldn’t walk in here looking like this. She was not filet mignon. She was like Texas Roadhouse with a Wednesday night discount 8oz sirloin. Harry was talking animatedly to his mom and sister, his smile the widest she’s ever seen. Her heart warmed a bit.

“Mr. Styles, Your guest Ms. Hurley has arrived,” the greeter announced. Gee thanks, way to blow her cover.

She watched him turn to the door and his face fell, his eyes widening. Fuck! She was spotted. Welp, no turning back now.

 

It was so amazing to see his mom and sister again. Fuck, he missed them so much. Moving to New York was a huge step for his career and life, but fuck if he didn’t miss his family every second. He had been in the middle of the story when the greeter announced Ellie was here. When he turned to meet her, his heart clenched immediately and his mouth went completely dry. Holy actual fucking fuck. That dress. That dress emphasized every curve on her beautiful body that was constantly hidden by baggy tank tops and long sleeve shirts. It hugged her perfect sized chest and slid down her curvy hourglass waist. It was skin tight right down her thighs, outlining her like perfection. She timidly looked down her cheeks, turning a little red. She casually tried to pull the dress down, clearly uncomfortable. Fuck if Harry knew why. He also noticed a half a tattoo peeking out on her right thigh. Jesus christ. Just....jesus christ. And her hair was down. Those beautiful loose curls weren’t in her usual space buns. And suddenly he wished his mom and Gemma weren’t there with them. Ok he was definitely staring too long. Speak, dumbass. SPEAK.

“Harry?” She was speaking. Fuck, how was she suddenly so close? I felt like she was walking over in slow motion he thought. Oh my- her perfume. She smelled like that amazing victory secret perfume.

“You uh... you look. Different. Nice. Ehm, Ellanore this is my mum Anne and my sister Gemma,” He gestured to them. Ellie smiled to them and of course my mom and sister ran to hug her, pulling her away from me. Shit. Shit shit shit shit. Shit. Harry's eyes couldn't leave her. She sat down slowly next to him, his eyes still lingering on her.

“Harry, darling, are you alright?” His mom asked, concerned, she leaned over and felt his head. Gemma snorted in her wine and he glared at her over the table. She was smirking wickedly at him.

“Yeah, I’m alright.” He grabbed his water and drowned it, avoiding looking to his left. Christ, she looked so beautiful. What was he thinking? You have a girlfriend, Harry. Enough. Deep breaths.

“Shall we order?” Anne asked picking up her menu. Harry nodded.

“Harry!” Oh thank fuck. She’s here. He turned to smile to Nadine as she bounded into the room.

 

Why was he fucking staring? God, she felt so fucking exposed. She pulled down the hem of her dress, trying to hide the tattoo poking through. What if Anne thought she was trashy? What if Gemma did? Oh fuck, what if they hated tattoos!? Wait, Harry was literally covered in them. Yeah, but that’s her son. Oh god so much regret. He still staring? Seriously? Does she look that bad? Deep breaths.

“Harry?” She asked quietly, and he suddenly snapped out of it. After everyone was introduced and she was greeted by some of the best hugs she’d ever been given, she sat down next to Harry’s left. She felt him stiffen when she reached over him for a piece of bread. Welp, this is awkward as fuck. Abort.

“HARRY!” Ellie choked on her red wine and coughed. Oh god. Are you fucking kidding me? Her eyes widened, suddenly alerted with the current threat walking into the room. Nadine. Seriously? She sat completely still in her seat, not even wanting to turn around. She was well aware Harry’s lips were on hers. Her jaw clenched and she had to inhale deeply. This is not the fucking time or place for a fucking panic attack, goddamn it.

“Everyone, this is Nadine,” Harry spoke behind her, “Nadine, this is my mum Anne, my sister Gemma and my best friend in the entire world, Ellanore.” Dick. You’re gonna get a swift kick to the nads later for that intro. Ellie plastered the best fake smile she could muster and turned around to smile to her. After Nadine hugged Harry’s mom and sister, she sat down next to harry, sliding her hand into his and leaning over to kiss him. Ellie turned back to her wine and took a huge sip.

“Oi, slow down Ell, we’ve got plenty more bottles where that came from.” Harry chuckled. And I will be taking full advantage of all of them fuckboy, she thought bitterly.

“Wait, you look familiar--Were you possibly at linx the other night?” Nadine asked, giving Ellie a huge bubbly smile. Ellie coughed and almost spit her wine out for the second time that night.

“Linx? N-No not sure-” Ellie began

“No, you definitely were! Don't you love it there?” She said excitedly. So fucking exposed right now. Harry’s head whipped around to her, his eyes narrowing her carefully.

“You go to Linx?” He asked, his eyes locked with hers. She shook her head.

“Nah, musta been someone else--Hey is there a waiter by chance? I think I need a malibu and coke,” she said, nervously looking around. Yeah, wine was not gonna do it. And she wasn’t gonna get smashed, but definitely strong enough to subdue the current panic attack that was making its way to her head. Gemma smiled down into her drink again and raised an eyebrow at her brother. Thank god Anne was too immersed in the menu to realize what was happening at this table right now.

“Mmm no, I could have sworn I saw you outside while me and Haz left.” Haz? Really? God her voice was so silky. So sweet and yet Ellie wanted to rip her hair out. But not because she was a really fucking nice girl, but because she was running her long ugly nails along Harry’s arm. And he was eyeing her like she was his choice of dinner for the night.

“Yeah...No, not ringing any bells” She replied looking down at her plate. Don’t make eye contact. If you make eye contact your done for.

“Yeah, you were actually kissing someone-”

“You were what?!” Harry’s head snapped to her so fast he probably got whiplash. Ellie stiffened. And so it begins. Harry was now fully facing her, clearly intrigued. When she glanced up, she couldn’t help but see something in his eyes... jealousy? Or maybe he was being overprotective. “You were kissing someone? Since when?” His voice was semi-leveled, but the glare he had on her was a whole other story.

“Oh look, the waiters here!” Gemma interrupted and all of us turned to her. Nadine smiled and got into a conversation with Anne about England and how she’d love to go. Gemma sent Ellie a small smile. Okay, definitely need to thank her for that. Harry, on the other hand, seemed very unsettled still. But once Nadine pushed her chair closer to him--god, sit on his fucking lap why don't you--he seemed to calm a bit. But if the looks he kept shooting Ellie’s way all night meant anything, something was off.

 

After dinner, everyone sipped on there last glasses of wine. Gemma kept giving encouraging smiles in Ellies direction, and casually talking to Nadine and Harry. Anne to turned to Ellie and gave her a warm look.

“So Ellanore, Harry tells me you’re quite the artist,” Anne says.

“I mean, I’m okay. See you kinda grow up thinking you’re pretty good and then you get to art college and see others work and it’s a pretty big buzz kill,” she said, shrugging a bit. He tells his mom about my art?

“Bullshit. She’s incredible, mum. You should see the photos she took of me for the single cover,” Harry said while winking in Ellie’s direction. Ellie paled. Dear god. Not in front of your fucking family Harry. And CERTAINLY not in front of your fucking girlfriend, are you insane?!

“It’s true, Ellie, your work is breathtaking. Harry sent me a couple and one of them is my background.” Nadine squealed and clicked her iphone. Oh god oh god oh god. Harry sitting face forward in the vintage chair appeared and Ellie actually let out of physical sigh of relief.

“That was you? Ellie these are some of my favorite photos he’s done,” Anne said warmly, gripping Ellie’s arm from across the table. “Sweetheart, you are such a talent. Your parents must be so proud.” Ellie froze in her spot. If only. She hasn’t spoken to anyone in her family for around three years.

“ Y-yeah. I hope they are,” she said, her voice cracking a bit. She hoped no one noticed, but the look Harry gave her immediately told her she was caught.

–

Everyone parted for the night, Anne squeezing the daylights out of her and telling her she has to visit England. And that she’s so happy to have met the person that Harry would not stop talking about. A little warmth rose to her heart. Harry talks about her. To his mom. And his mom truly adores her. Anne walked over to her son and Nadine, and Ellie locked eyes with Gemma.

“So, thank you. You were the real MVP back there,” Ellie said a bit awkwardly. Gemma laughed.

“Don't worry. My brother may be handsome and talented, but he’s an oblivious dipshit sometimes,” Gemma said nuding her arm. “I’m guessing Nadine was right?” Ellie bit her lip and looked down shamefully.

“I uhm, happened to be dancing... alone. And I spotted them on the dance floor,” she said, scratching her head a little. Gemma nodded. “I actually ran outside for some air, but I wasn’t really... prepared to face it I guess? Ended scaring some poor dude and liplocking till they got in the car.” Gemma looked at her thoughtfully. “Pathetic I know-”

“No. Not at all. Honestly you handled it better then I would’ve,” Gemma said, crossing her arms and snorting.

“Yeah?”

“If I saw the guy I was in love with grinding on some girl and playing tonsel hockey In front of me, I probably would’ve dragged her out by her extensions and curb stomped her in the street.”

“Whoaaaa, whoa whoa-No I don't l-love him I-” Gemma shook her head.

“Ellie, I see the way you look at him. He may not and Nadine may not, but.. trust me, I saw it.” Ellie groaned and put her head in her hands.

“This is all such a goddamn mess.” She mumbled leaning her back on the wall. Gemma laughed and grabbed her shoulder before pulling her in for a hug.

“I probably shouldn’t take sides but, I’ll be rooting for you,” she said as they parted. Ellie raised an eyebrow.

“Why?”

“Because, all Harry’s life, he’d fall for superficial girls who tricked him into thinking they were truly different from all the rest. And who knows, Nadine may be different. But the way he talks about your art, and your passion for it... it matches his for his music. He finally found someone on his level of crazy.” Welp, she was damn right about that. “Here, take my number. Me and you are gonna be friends.” With that, Anne and Gemma parted, leaving Harry, Nadine, and Ellie to fend for themselves.

“You up for the club, girl?” Nadine asked with a smile.

“Oh-Oh no, I think I’m gonna just head home,” Ellie said, frowning a bit.

“Hell no, you are not about to go home looking like that. You need to show off,” Nadine said, grabbing Ellie’s hand and dragging her to the car.

“Baby, I think she’s tired,” Harry said stopping them. Nadine gave him a look.

“Haz, she looks hott. What we need to do is find her a boyfriend.” God, this girl was fucking nice. Ellie watched Harry’s face contort into slight anger.

“Nad-” He began but was to late as Ellie got dragged into the escalade. Fuck. This was bad. Very VERY bad. Ellie slid in and she heard Harry sigh in the front seat. Dale turned around and his mouth hung open.

“Eyes on the road there, Bruce Banner.” Ellie said with a smirk.

“Ms Ellie, look at you,” he said, giving a friendly wink. “Where to?” Nadine gave him the name of club and Ellie watched Harry's head hit the window. Well something’s up his ass.

“Nadine, listen, I feel bad. I think you and Harry should just go-” Ellie said with a frown.

“Bullshit, just came hang out for a bit! And we want you there- don’t we Harry?” Harry just groaned from the front. Yeah, he was so fucking thrilled, hun.

They pulled up to the club, jumping out. Harry still looked completely displeased and told dale come back in a couple of hours. They entered immediately, bypassing the 100 something people online. The bouncer escorted them to a table on the platform. Harry thanked him and Nadine was practically jumping from her seat. The music wasn't bad, and a couple of girls recognized Harry asking for selfies. The bartenders served them their drinks directly to their seats.

“What can I get ya?” The brunette asked over the loud thumping. Ellie practically hugged her. BOOZE. NOW.

“Can I get 4 shots of jose cuervo, a baybreeze and a bud light? You guys want anything?” Harry and Nadine stared at her in shock. “What?”

“Fucking party girl!” Nadine ordered an additional four vodka shots, some fruity drink and Harry’s order. When the drinks came back, Ellie immediately downed her shots, the vodka shot and sipped at her baybreeze. Harry watched in awe. “Babe, leave her alone, let her live!”

“Ell, maybe you should slow down--Or not okay, yeah let’s not chug rum” He said trying to take her baybreeze away.

“Why are you being such a buzzkill haz?” Nadine asked, already slurring her words. Ellie giggled loudly. That’s right. Ellie fucking GIGGLED.

“Yeah, don't be such a lil pussass,” Ellie tried to say. Harry gave her a bitch face.

“Ellanore, I refuse to drag your dead corpse from this place-” He said as she stood up or well swayed. Harry’s hands immediately went out to try and catch her but she pushed them away.

“M'fine. Hey Nady, lez go to the dance place,” she attempted to say as Nadine laughed and agreed.

“You stay here, I’m gonna find her a man,” Nadine said, draggin Ellie down the stairs.

“WHAT?! WAIT-” Harry immediately jumped up. He watched as Ellie almost tripped.

“Christ! Careful for fuck sake-” he said appearing behind her. She dramatically rolled her eyes and stuck her tongue out at him.

“Go way. Nadines gon find me a mans-” Ellie said sending him a wink as Nadine pulled her in and out of dances.

“No, what you should be doing is going home,” he started but groaned as Nadine began dancing. Ellie smiled and closed her eyes, moving her body to the music. Harry watched her escape and let loose. He didn’t mind her having fun, but this... this could go horribly wrong. After 10 minutes, it did. Nadine dragged Harry to her, rubbing against him seductively. Fuck if that wasn’t hot. She snaked her arms around his neck, pressing her lips to his. He closed his eyes and reciprocated. However, he hadn’t realized he took his eyes off Ellie, who was now gone. Crap. His eyes searched around.

“Nadine where’s Ell?” He asked loudly in her ear. Nadine shrugged, still carefree and holding him close.

“Baby leave her alone- where you goin?” She asked as Harry pulled away from her heading towards the bar.

 

Drunk as fuck, it still hurt like a goddamn knife. When he kissed back, that was someone twisting it deeper. Okay. More shots. That’s where her mind was, if she blacks out, the morning after will be a gift. She walked towards the bar, bobbing her head to the song. She leaned against the wooden bar counter waiting her turn.

“My god, look at you,” someone said from behind her. Ellie tensed, okay creepy. “May I buy you a drink, beautiful?” The man’s voice said, his words slurred. Ellie turned to him.

“No, I’m alright, thank you,” she said as politely as she could muster.

“Oh don’t be like that-” He said, snaking his hand to her back side. She jumped and turned, grabbing his hand and shoving it off.

“Did you just fucking touch me?” Welp, drunk or not, she was not about to let that fucking happen. Ever. The man sneered and leaned into her ear. His breath stunk and his hands went to her waist again.

“I like them with a bit of a fight-” He growled. Fuck no. Fuck. NO. Ellie pushed him back and he stumbled. When he grabbed her wrist she immediately punched his nose. Everyone around her gasped as he fell back a bit. “fucking bitch-” But she was now repeatedly kicking and punching him as he fell to the ground.

“DON’T YOU EVER FUCKING LAY A HAND ON ME ASSHOLE! DISGUSTING PIG-” She screamed defensively. “ HOW FUCKING DARE YOU-” she was suddenly lifted off him, her arms and leg still flailing. “GET OFF ME! FUCK OFF I’M GONNA KNOCK HIM THE FUCK OUT-”

“ELLANORE, STOP- ELLIE ITS ME-ELLANORE ENOUGH!” The person screamed. Wait. That voice. Harry. He put her down far away from the bar. “RELAX!” He said, grabbing her face and shaking her. She stared at him.

“I HAD HIM! WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT!”

“GET THAT CRAZY BITCH OUT OF HERE-” The man had stood up, scratches and blood trickling from his face. Harry turned to him and death glared.

“DID YOU JUST CALL ME CRAZY?! OH FUCK NO-” She immediately went at him again, only to have Harry’s arms tightly snake around her waist and pull her through the exit. “NO, STOP, LET ME GET HIM--LET ME FUCKING GO, HARRY,” she said trying to fight against him. When they finally got to the street. He put her down again. She swayed a bit and slid to the ground. Harry quickly caught her before she fell. She grabbed her head with a groan. Ew, this was not fun anymore.

“Are you FUCKING INSANEm ELLANORE?!” he screamed at her while she pouted like a 3 year old. When she rolled her eyes he grabbed her wrists and forced her to look at him. “DO YOU HAVE IDEA WHAT THE HELL COULD’VE HAPPEN TO YOU!?” Ugh stop with the yelling, she thought.

“W-ho cares, he grabbed my--Wait, where’s Nadine?” She said, still swaying.

“I HAD TO LEAVE HER BECAUSE YOU DECIDED TO GET IN A FUCKING BAR FIGHT-” He scolded.

“I HAD NO CHOICE! HE GRABBED ME-” She fought back. “THIS IS STUPID, I’M GOING HOME-”

“TO HELL YOUR NOT- YOU’RE COMING BACK TO MINE-” Harry scoffed, hauling her back to him as she tried to walk off.

“WHO THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU’RE TALKING TO?” She angrily pushed him back. “I defended myself. I always defend myself-”

“If SOMETHING LIKE THAT HAPPENS, YOU FIND ME-” He argued.

“I SHOULDN’T HAVE TO FIND YOU! YOU SHOULD JUST BE THERE.” Wait, the fuck? When did she started crying? Harry suddenly stopped and closed his mouth. “But you weren't. So I did what I had to do. I fought him--you’re not always gonna be around, Harry.” She finished.

“Are you...crying?” Why did he sound so shocked? No shit she was crying. You let her have tequila shots, vodka and fucking rum.

“Who gives a shit, ok? I shouldn’t have come-” She turned to walk away again, only to stumble in these stupid heels. Harry made to catch her but she shoved his hands back.

“Ellie I-” But she pulled her shoes off and shrunk down to her normal 5ft. She backed away and shook her head.

“Listen, I’m sorry I got drunk. I just... I don’t even know why actually. I haven’t been this fucked up since I was 16. Just go get Nadine, I’m gonna catch a cab-”

“Take dale. I’ll get an uber-” He began walking toward her.

“Harry just--go back inside. Im fine-”

“You’re obviously not. You’re crying,” he said quietly. He sounded hurt. And sad. So sad.

“Girls cry when they get shitfaced.” She said matter of factly as she pulled her phone out and requested an uber. Well at least that’s what she thought she as doing till she found herself texting Henry’s number.

Ellanore :

so u busy?

 

Henry:

You ok?

Ellanore:

Thas pretty loaded 2 ask a drnk art studnt

 

Henry:

Text me the address, I’m getting a cab now.

Ellie did as told and slid her phone back in her clutch. Harry was still watching her. It’s like his eyes were glued to her every move. She crossed her arms, feeling as exposed as ever.

“Will you stop that--” she mumbled leaning against the building, refusing to meet his gaze.

“Stop what-” he began.

“Fucking looking at me.” She sighed and closed her eyes, feeling beyond drained.

“I’ve never seen you cry before.” he said.

“Yeah well, booze hightens my shitty emotions.”

“I can't believe you broke that guy’s nose-”

“I can’t believe you actually pulled me off before I got to scratch his fucking eyes out-”

“Christ Ellie-” He shook his head. “It’s like you have a death wish-” Her head shot up at that and she flared her nostrils with pure rage. Is he serious?

“Harry. He grabbed my waist-” she stood up and walked right up to him. “He touched me and wouldn’t take fucking no for an answer,” she said, shoving him a bit. Suddenly, she watched him become irate himself.

“I GET THAT AND I’M GLAD HE GOT WHAT HE DESERVED, BUT-”

“BUT WHAT HARRY ? I’M NOT DEFENSELESS. I CAN SAVE MY FUCKING SELF-”

“THAT’S YOUR PROBLEM. YOU THINK YOUR ALONE IN WHATEVER FUCKING FIGHTS YOU HAVE. YOUR NOT. IM HERE. YOU HAVE PEOPLE TO HELP-”

“I DON’T NEED HELP. I NEED... I NEED. UGH I DON’T EVEN KNOW. WHY DO YOU KEEP FUCKING YELLING-” She was back to being frustrated. God where was that fuckin cab?

“WHAT DO YOU NEED, ELLANORE? TELL ME- BECAUSE THIS ENTIRE FRIENDSHIP I’VE BEEN TRYING TO-”

“Harry ?! DID YOU FIND HER?” Nadine suddenly came bounding out, stopping by them. “Oh my god! Are you okay? Holy shit! Your knuckles!” Ellie looked down. Oh wow. Swollen and bloody. That’s cute I guess. Ellie sighed and rubbed her head.

“Nadine, give us a minute,” Harry didn’t even look at her, his eyes still dead locked on his best friend. Nadine frowned and looked between them before walking towards the door again.

“Go on, say it. What do you need--” He approached her closer, she could feel his breath against her chest.

“I-I.. I need-” She gulped.

“Ellie!” Both she and Harry turned to her name being called on the street. Oh my god. He’s like Jesus. A cab and an escape.

“Go inside with Nadine, Harry.”

“Who’s this?” Harry said, his temper clearly not lowering. He narrowed his eyes as Henry walked right up to Ellie and gave her a half smile.

“You alright?” he asked. She nodded and clenched her jaw. Henry turned to harry and smiled.

“Henry, nice to meet you,” he said.

“And who the fuck are you?” Well, that happened. Looked between them.

“HARRY, ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS?” Ellie said angrily.

“No worries, I’m just here to take her home.” Henry was completely unphased. Something that only ignited the anger inside Harry. Enough for him to get into Henry’s face.

“She’s good. Go home,” he said hotly.

“NO! Back up the fuck up, Harry!” Ellie said pushing at his chest trying to separate him.

“She’s got a fucking ride. You can leave now mate.” He threatened again. Oh my god, what the fuck is this?

“Yeah, me. Hence why im here.” Henry crossed his arms.

“Henry lets go-” Ellie grabbed his arm and pulled him a bit. Henry still holding his ground only smiled into Harry’s face and nodded.

“Have a nice night,” he said before heading to the cab with Ell. Nadine appeared at Harry’s side, before smiling.

“Oh my god! IT WAS HER THAT NIGHT!” She said, eyeing where henry and Ellie got in the car.

“What?” Harry asked annoyed.

“At the club, that was the guy she was making out with in front-” Harry was pretty sure his heart dropped. Suddenly he was sick. Sick because another man tried to hurt her, and he should’ve just let her kill him. Sick because he chose to bring her out here, instead of going back and doing the deed himself. And sick because even drunk, Nadine identified the guy perfectly and still recognized that he and Ellie had in fact been at the club that night. But what made him want to straight up puke? It wasn’t that his best friend lied to him. No. It was that someone else, someone that was not him, got to kiss her cherry tinted lips. He felt Nadine slide her arms around his back and lean into him. And all he wanted to do was run after that fucking yellow taxi and tell his best friend that he fucked up.


	10. Chapter 10

Henry chomped on Ellie’s fries as she sat across from him, head on the table and her hair falling all around her. He patiently waited for her to say something, every so often checking his phone and texting.

“ I fucked up,” she mumbled finally.

“Well I mean, no. He can't blame you for going out with them. His girlfriend practically dragged you-” Henry began.

“Not about that.” She looked up. He realized immediately where she was going and frowned.

“Ellie, you’re fine. Everyone gets one good bar fight in their life. I bet he deserved it anyway,” he said matter-of-factly. “How’s your hand?” He asked as she examined her bruised and bloody knuckles.

“I’ll just ice it when I get home. I’m sorry I dragged you out here-” She sighed, watching him finish his plate of food. He chuckled and shook his head.

“Don't be sorry. That look he gave me... I think we achieved jealousy.” Ellie stared at him in disbelief.

“But... I don't want to use you, that’s fucked-” She leaned forward.

“Ell, it’s fine. I’m consenting to letting you use me. It’s kinda hot... and a bit flattering.” He winked at her.

“Flattering?”

“Dude, Harry fucking Styles is jealous of me. I'm not exactly a prize.” Ellie grabbed his hand.

“Don't say that. You’re a fucking awesome guy. Any girl would be lucky to have you. Seriously.” He scoffed at her words and she tugged him forward a bit. “Seriously.” God, he had such a great smile. Stupid. You couldn't fall for him, you just had to fall for Harry fucking Styles.

“I appreciate that.”

“You should let me get you a girlfriend.” He threw his head back with a laugh. “What?”

“Do you usually focus on other people's happiness before your own?”

“Yes, how do you think I survived this long?” She sipped her soda.

“What do you mean?”

“Avoiding hurt is easy if you just don't put yourself through something that's gonna end that way.”

“Shit, that’s kinda dark.”

She shrugged. “Yeah well, for me, it's kinda been that way since high school.”

“You think it'll ever change?” He said thoughtfully.

“I don't know. But it's just easier this way.”

“So... what are you gonna do about the Harry thing?”

“Absolutely nothing. He’s happy with Nadine. And I'm his best friend. So I’m gonna suck the fuck up and be happy be about that. Why should I try to ruin that by having to confess to my pointless-ass crush?”

“Because he isn't happy. He practically snapped my neck for picking you up last night.” With a sigh, Ellie looked outside. It was all so draining. Was this all worth it?

“He was probably still mad from our pissing match...”

“Ellie, as a guy, I can tell you straightforwardly that what he was feeling was jealousy.” Henry locked eyes with her. Was it though? Or was it him just asserting his male dominance because she refused to let him help her. Either way, this was probably going to end awkwardly and she was gonna find herself broken. Because there was just no plausible reason that Harry Styles would think of her anymore then a friend.

 

The next day she woke up with a massive headache and deep regret. She groaned and turned over to see 80 missed calls and 97 texts. Really? Fuck off, Harry. Not now. She turned back over into her warm pillow and snuggled deeper in the blankets. She wasn't working till her closing shift tonight, so she was gonna avoid the outside world for awhile. Luckily her roommates had all left this morning and gone home for the next four days for their Thanksgiving holidays--something she’d blessedly avoided for the past four years and she had the entire apartment to walk around pantless while binge-watching netflix.

Reluctantly, she trudged hours later through the shitty ice rain down to the cafe. She walked into the familiar scent of freshly-baked corn bread and other pastries as Max and Hailey greeted her.

“Well, look at you, party animal. I saw your snap story. How fucked did you end up getting?” Max said, nudging her a bit. She groaned and dropped her bag under the counter.

“It would be so appreciated if you wouldn't speak for the next four hours.” He laughed as she rubbed at her face. She pretty much went for the ‘fuck makeup’ option today, especially because her hand was still throbbing. She managed to bandage it but, she was pretty sure she sprained it. Henry insisted he take her to the ER before he dropped her off last night, but without health insurance and her extreme fear of hospitals, there was no way in fuck that was gonna happen.

 

The last hour, the cafe had about three people left, all sitting and doing business work at their tables. Ellie began her closing routine. That was until the door jingled and she looked up to spot the curly mess of hair standing in the doorway. He was wearing those fucking tight skinny jeans, his black trench coat and who the fuck wears chelsea boots in an ice storm? Ugh. She turned away without a word as he angrily crossed his arms and approached her.

“What?” She asked, annoyed.

“What? Did you just seriously ask me fucking what?!” He spat at her. She turned on her heel.

“Watch your goddamn tone.” She pointed a finger at him.

“DID YOUR PHONE JUST STOP WORKING OR ARE YOU NOT GOING TO TELL ME WHAT THE HELL THAT WAS LAST NIGHT?!” She rolled her eyes and walked behind the counter. He followed right behind her and leaned over the counter. Max and Hailey had both come out from the back, at this point completely immersed in the drama about to unfold. Nosey little shits.

“If you’re here to finish fucking fighting with me, it's not gonna happen. I have a migrane and one hour left of fucking work before I can go home and enjoy my next day off,” she growled at him.

“No, I'm not leaving this goddamn spot until you explain that little outburst of yours--And who the fuck is that guy you left with?!” So many questions and she had literally no proper answers except for 'that’s my friend who thinks you like me but you don't. I'm pretty sure I like you a lot... maybe even love so I got jealous over you kissing your girlfriend and went to get more drunk when some shitfaced prick touched me and I took all my anger out on him.' So instead, she settled on silence. This frustrated him enough to almost snarl at her. His nostrils flared up and his already red cheeks turned darker.

“Lower your voice before you scare people away-” She threatened. “I already fucking told you, I got drunk and some asshole put his hands on me.” She finished looking away. She began to count her draw and start her last task of closing.

“Whoa. You went out with Harry last night? Since when have y’all been friends?” Hailey asked, looking between the two of them.

“We aren't,” Ellie said, sending Harry a death glare.

“That doesn't answer who that fucking guy was.” He slammed his hands on the counter. Ellie narrowed her eyes.

“I don't have to answer that. Besides, why do you care?” She put the money down and crossed her arms.

“I DON’T!” He yelled frustratedly.

“Sounds like you do, man,” Max said, snorting as he grabbed Ellie’s stuff and finished it for her. “I got this, go handle...whatever the fuck you guys need to sort out.”

“There's nothing to sort out! I was drunk! Henry helped me get back to my apartment, why is this fucking bothering you so much?” She said, throwing her hands up exasperatedly. “Go home, Harry! I told you, we’re shitty at being friends.”

“FRIENDS DON’T LIE TO EACH OTHER!” Ellie stopped and turned to him.

“Excuse me?” She said in a scarily low voice. She walked out from behind the counter and got in his face.

“Ell,” Hailey began but Ellie held her hand up to her, eyes never leaving Harry’s.

“The fuck is that supposed to mean?” Welp, if Marge doesn't fire her for cursing in front of customers it'll be a goddamn miracle. She watched Harry sneer at her.

“Nadine recognized that guy from the night she said she saw you at the club.” She stiffened at his words. Fuck. “So, Ellanore. Were you at the club the other night?” Ellie gulped.

“I-”

“Do not. Fucking. Lie. To me.” He was so close to her she could feel the heat radiating off his chest. Great, she really wanted to disappear and die now.

“Yes,” she said, not backing down.

“So it's true. And that means--” he almost staggered back at her admittance. She inhaled deeply.

“I was with my friends, I ended up having a panic attack and I went outside-”

“To hook up with a guy? Where is that fucking logic in that?” He asked.

“No, of course not! Ugh. This is so fucked.” She rubbed at her face in frustration and sank into an empty chair. Harry watched her have an internal meltdown trying to reason with herself. By this time, all customers had dipped out, clearly disturbed, and Hailey had joined Max in the back.

“Your hand,” she heard him say above her. God, why was he on top of her again? It was like he knew it would make her heart rate increase. She felt him take her bandaged hand in his and examine it. “Max?” He called out.

“Uh, yeah?” Max peaked his head out from the back door.

“You mind if Ellanore leaves early? I'm going to take her to hospital.” His voice was filled with concern.

“No!” Ellie jumped back, pulling her hand away, causing all three of them to stare at her. “ It-it's fine, Harry, seriously it's just a scratch...” He gently took her wrist and unraveled the bandage to reveal the still black and blue and purple knuckles, the cuts still bleeding and swollen.

“You’re going to hospital,” he said sternly.

“God, fuck, it's just a scratch.” She groaned, trying to pull away.

“Ellie, its infected. I could literally see it from here,” Hailey said matter-of-factly.

“How would you know? You’re not even a doctor!” Ellie said, glaring. Hailey rolled her eyes.

“Stop being a child. Anyone with proper sight can see it’s most likely sprained.” Harry argued. “Let’s go.” He tugged her gently as Hailey handed Ellie’s things to Harry.

“N-No, guys, come on, I’ll go to urgent care tomorrow, okay? Look, it’s fine, see?” She said, touching it then gasping. “Fuck!” Searing pain shot through and she almost fell to her knees. Harry sighed and shook his head.

“Always stubborn, I swear. Night guys,” he said, gently pushing her out the door.

 

They arrived at the ER, Dale opening the door to the car. Harry slid out and groaned as Ellie practically glued herself to the seat. She shook her head vigorously.

“Please, I’ll do anything--Don't make me go--DALE, PLEASE SAVE ME!” She said as Harry crossed his arms, unamused.

“You done?” She sighed. She was trapped and if she didnt get out now, she was pretty sure he'd either get Dale to pull her out or he’d haul her in himself.

When they got inside, she began to shake. Her anxiety immediately shot up, the smell of disinfectant triggering her. She sat down in the waiting room as Harry went to the window and took the clipboard the nurse gave him. She could see the nurse brighten up when she spotted Harry, twirling her hair a bit, clearly trying to arouse him in some way. Ellie rolled her eyes. Pathetic. She noticed how Harry didn't acknowledge it, though, and quickly walked over to her and sat down.

“I’ll write, you answer,” he said, looking up at her. The concern was back in his beautiful green eyes and it was kind of melting all the angry out of her. With a sigh, she sat back.

“Fine.” She grumbled and he smiled in triumph.

“Date of birth,” he began.

“August 30th 1993.”

“Ah, an older women, I like that,” he said with a smirk and nudged her a bit. She couldn't help but give him a little smile and roll her eyes.

“You’re lame,” she said as he continued.

“Alright… Female.. at least, I think,” he said, raising an eyebrow.

“Harry, if I had a dick, you'd know by now.” He laughed and went on.

“No insurance, correct?” She nodded. He continued down the list, social security number, address, phone number. “Emergency contact? Should I put your mom or dad’s name?” Ellie stiffened.

“Uh...No it's alright I- I can finish.” She went to grab the clipboard and he stared at her before pulling it out of her reach. “Harry-” She groaned and leaned back, covering her face. He kept his gaze fixed on her, silent for the next several seconds before he turned back to the questionnaire.

“Emergency Contact... Harry Styles,” he said, beginning to write his name. She pulled her hands from her face and watched as concentrated, the tip of his tongue poking through his lips. He got down to the spouse part and smirked. “Current marital status...Hmm. Shall I put single, married, or lying to my best friend about a boy I've been seeing and not telling him shit, meanwhile he introduced me to his girlfriend the other day?” Ellie stared at him in disbelief, a cocky smirk playing on his lips. She whacked him on the arm with her good hand and he made an ‘ow’ face. “Too soon then?” She rolled her eyes and turned away.

“ Ellanore Hurly.” They both turned to see another nurse in blue scrubs smiling from the door. They both stood up and walked towards her, Harry handing the check-in nurse her papers. She gave him gooey eyes. He simply thanked her before the other nurse put a hand to his chest. “Sorry, sir, family only.” He frowned.

“But-” He began. Ellie immediately gulped. To fucking hell she was going in alone. “We’re engaged.” Ellie shot her head in his direction. Are you fucking kidding me?

“Oh, my apologies then.” She smiled warmly at them both as the check in nurse's face turned from seductive to angry. As Ellie passed, she sent her a delighted smile. They were led to a room, where Ellie was sat on a bed and Harry sank onto the spinny stool chair. She was already lightheaded, completely regretting this. Her breathing was getting rapid and she could feel the panic attack lingering in her stomach. The nurse took her temperature and asked some more questions.

“Dear me, your heart rate’s a bit high. As is your blood pressure.” She frowned. “Any medical history in that?” Ellie shook her head no.

“Just panic disorder and anxiety.”

“Any allergies to medication? Are you currently on any medication? Other illnesses?”

“Uh yeah, hang on.” Ellie grabbed her backpack and pulled out her two medication bottles. Harry frowned and watched as she read off the names of the anti-depressents and anxiety medicines. The nurse smiled warmly and told her the doctor would be in shortly.

“You’re on anti-depressents,” Harry said quietly as Ellie dumped them back in her bag. Great. Now this talk. She scratched her head and shrugged.

“I feel like everyone is these days.” She shrugged playing with the hem of her shirt. He got up off the chair and sat next to her. His arm wrapped around her waist and he leaned his head on hers. She looked at him. “What?”

“I saw you shaking,” he said matter-of-factly. “Whenever I was upset, my mum would just sit next to me and hold me till I was calmer. Said as long as you can physically feel someone being there for you, you feel more comforted.” Huh. She never really thought of that. And what was worse, he was right. But only when he did it. It didn't have the same effect as when other people were around her.

“Hello Ms Hurley,” The doctor said after knocking and walking in. He smiled and sat down on the stool where Harry had. “And you must be the fiance.” He shook Harry’s hand and smiled. “So Ellanore, what seems to be the issue today?” He asked simply.

“She knocked some guy on his ass last night at the bar, think she broke her hand in the process. I insisted on her getting it looked at last night but you know, women.” Harry explained. Ellie elbowed his side and he winced grabbing it and sticking his tongue out at her. The doctor chuckled and gently examined it.

“Well, Ellanore, your fiance was right. Although I hope the guy deserved it,” he said, putting his glasses on and examining it under the light. “Looks like you’re going to need a couple of stitches as well as an antibiotic for the infection.”

“Ha, told you--” Harry began.

“St-stitches?” Her voice cracked with fear. Oh god. No. She was fine as fuck with tattoos, didn’t care about meds, but this? The hospital? The goddamn sicknesses. Oh welp. There goes the panic attack. She felt her body begin to shake and she immediately closed her eyes. She took deep breaths, trying to regulate the air intake and calm herself. “Ell? Ellie?” Harry’s voice sounded so far away as her skin began to tingle.

“It’s a panic attack,” the doctor explained, standing up and calling for a nurse to bring him sedative. Ellie felt Harry’s hands wrap around her cheeks. He spoke to her calmly, reassuringly, as he pulled her into his chest. His arms closed around her, his hand rubbing small circles into her back.

“Shh, sal'right. Right here, yeah?” He whispered to her. His cologne smelled amazing and she could hear his heartbeat through his navy sweater. Wow. This was actually... working... Seriously? She sighed and pulled away a bit. He peaked down at her. “Christ, you alright?” His voice was so soft, so comforting that she just nodded and gave him a smile.

“You alright there, hun?” the nurse spoke. Ellie turned to her and the doctor nodding at them. Her eyes landed on the needle and she immediately jerked back, trying to crawl away. When Harry realized what she feared.

“You mind if I uhm... hold her while you...you know,” he asked the doctor.

“That sounds good,” he said with a knowing smile.

“Ell, c'mere. I‘m gonna hold you, yeah? Keep your eyes on me,” he said, pulling her towards him.

“B-But-” she stuttered, her eyes not leaving the nurses hand. Harry forced her to look his way.

“Sh, s'alright. Just keep looking in my direction. That's good, just like that.” She locked eyes with him and he gave her an encouraging smile. “Good girl. See, you got this.” His hands stayed firmly on her cheeks, She felt the needle in her arm. She flinched and tried to look away. “No, love, me. Eyes on mine,” he said sternly. She nodded. “That’s it.” For next several minutes, he whispered to her, giving her reassurance of it being almost over. The sedative helped a lot and sometimes she’d close her eyes, listening only to Harry’s words. God, she was so effing fucked. With each soft noise escaping those pretty lips, she felt it. Her heart was caving in. She was trying her damnedest to fight it, but no. This man. This beautiful fucking human, was creeping his way back into her heart.

“All done. See, knew you could do it,” Harry said as the doctor announced he was finished. Ellie let out a breath she was holding and immediately fell into Harry, wrapping her arms so tightly around him and burying her face into his chest. Yeah. This isn't okay. But it was addicting. He felt nice. Harry thanked the doctor, still rubbing circles into her back as he handed Harry a prescription.

“You two are going to make a beautiful couple,” the nurse said taking the IV from Ellie's arm. Ellie blushed and looked away as Harry gave the nurse a big cheesy smile.

“Thank you, ma'am,” he said, winking at her and wrapping an around Ellie’s waist. She rolled her eyes and laughed.

“Can't wait to see what your future kids look like, probably going to be models.” The nurse joked and Harry laughed, poking Ellie’s side. Ellie paled at her words watching as she left.

“Hear that, El? Our kids will be models,” he said jokingly as she rolled her eyes and stood up, still a bit shaky.

“No offense, but me procreating with you has just killed my appetite,” she said with a snort.

“Aw, don't be like that, you know you'd love to spawn out wee little ones with your best friend,” he said, bumping her hip with his as they headed down the hall.

“I’m not sure I want to even think about what a terrible fucking idea that would be,” Ellie said, going to the checkout area. The nurse handed her after care instructions for her bandaged hand, and a bill. Yay. $1500. She couldn't wait to be in debt. Without warning, she felt Harry rip the paper from her hand and he handed it back to the nurse with his card. Ellie frowned.

“No,” she began.

“Save it. I forced you here. I get to pay. Besides, you need to get health insurance. Seriously,” he said, raising an eyebrow.

“I don't expect to get into any more bar fights,” she said as they headed towards Dale and the car. She felt Harry’s hand on her arm and he stopped her.

“I would hope not. But in general, if you’re ill and what not.” She sighed.

“Whatever, I’ll think about it. Can we go? I seriously need my damn bed,” she said groaning as she and Harry slid in the backseat.

 

After grabbing some dinner and her medication, Harry insisted Ellie spend the night at his place. She groaned and complained until he gave her a look that basically stated he'd pitch a bitch fit if she went home alone.

Harry opened the door to his apartment and tossed his keys in the tray before putting the food on the living room table and undressing his coat.

“I don't get it. You always used to like coming over-in fact you used to barge in here uninvited every other day,” he said, kicking his boots off and undoing his shirt.

“Yeah, well, that’s before you had a girlfriend--Dude seriously? Why are you getting naked? Go put fucking clothes on,” she said, dropping her stuff. Good thing she chose leggings and always carried a spare shirt in her bag.

“Suddenly my nudity offends you?” He said in mock shock.

“Yes, actually,” she said, slumping down on the couch. “Girlfriend. New boundaries. Find them.”

“Ellanore, I’m shirtless not straddling you in my bed,” he said, rolling his eyes and grabbing forks and knives and plates. “Coke?” He asked, reaching the fridge and grabbing them some drinks. Ellie nodded and he walked back over. “Start the film, I need to put on sweats,” he said, walking over to his room. Of course he forgot to shut the door. And of fucking course it was in her view. Oh god. Fuck. Fuck fuck. He pulled his boxers down along with his skinny jeans and Ellie's eyes caught sight of his beautiful ass. She quickly looked towards the wall and gulped. He walked back out and frowned.

“Oi, I said start it--You alright? You’re a bit pale,” he said, walking over and crouching next to her. Yeah, no, fine. You’re just going commando and I had to watch you pull your joggers over that tight bum of yours but no, I'm good, she thought sourly.

“Yeah, just hungry,” she said, snapping out of it. Harry handed her a plate and he began to pile food on it for her. She smiled and began to pick at the rice and chicken. Harry grabbed the remote and sank down next to her. Great, awesome, she could feel his warmth engulf her as his thigh rested next to hers.

 

At some point during the movie, the painkillers must've kicked in, because Ellie found herself nodding off a bit. They had finished dinner and now they were buried under a warm knitted blanket. Harry looked down at her as he felt her head lean against his shoulder. Her breath tickling his neck with each exhale. He had to restrain himself from running a hand through her hair. How could he stay mad at her? He couldn't. His heart had melted the moment he noticed how in pain she had been. He wanted so badly to call her out, to tell her off about lying, but... it just wasn't worth it. Her phone lit up next to her and Harry furrowed his brow. He picked it up and saw Henry's name on it. Hitting ignore, he tossed it onto the other chair. God, why the fuck was he so pissed about this? And why would she even hide it?

Ellie mumbled a bit and turned more into him. He snaked his arm around her back and held her a little closer. Okay, yeah. This was definitely not boundaries and his mind shot to Nadine. But this was all innocent, right? They're best friends. He was just being comforting. Harry watched Ellie's face contort a bit in her sleep, leaving her looking troubled. He frowned and rubbed her back gently, and she immediately relaxed. Yeah, this was all friendly, I think... I hope. Shit.


	11. Chapter 11

We Cant Be Friends-11

 

 

Ellie fucking hated the winter. She hated the cold that whipped her face. She hated the snow that made her fucking slip and made the streets look dirty. And literally fuck the ice. Literally a week and a half before Christmas, and she was stuck at the mall in queens trying to buy things for her friends. And her family. Well, her siblings mostly. She walked in and out of stores, frustration growing. Her phone buzzed as she walked into Hot Topic.

“Chello,” she said, picking up a cute looking Star Wars shirt for her friend Anna.

“What an odd way to answer a mobile,” Harry said with a chuckle.

“Yeah well, I’m a weirdo, remember?” She said, throwing it a bag. She walked around and spotted the Harry Potter section. Thank fuck her friends were nerdy or this would be 100 times more difficult.

“Where are you? I’m bored,” he said, groaning.

“You sound like a child, aren’t you prepping for your new single drop or something?”

“Jeff did everything already. Now I just get to sit and be a nervous wreck for the next few days. Distract me,” he ordered her. She snorted.

“You’ve got a girlfriend for that, numbnuts.” Oh shit, that’s a cute sweater. Kaia equals done. Now... for Clair. Her eyes spotted the Supernatural section. Yup, perfect.

“I meant a different distraction. Besides, Nadine’s mad at me.”

“Christ, Harry, the fuck did you do this time?” She rolled her eyes.

“Why is it always me?” He argued back.

“Because most of the time it is. Hey, what size are you?” She asked casually.

“Why?”

“I’m in Gucci, just want to know how fat your ass is.” He let out a hardy laugh.

“Did you finally sell one of your beautiful works of art to afford me?”

“The only people who will ever get to see it are my professors and me. And you when your company hires me. Size?” He told her his size and measurements. Perfect. She grabbed the Harry Potter shirt off the rack and stuffed it in the shopping bag.

“So, question...” He began. Oh god, here we go. “What are you plans for holiday?” Welp, probably what she’s done the past three years, homemade rotisserie chicken in front of a movie marathon.

“Uh, Marge probably has me working-” She lied. Harry snorted.

“Good, tell her crazy arse you’re taking off for the week.” She heard him crumple something on the other side of the phone.

“...Why?” What was he fucking getting at?

“Because we’re flying out to Holmes Chapel on the 23rd.” Silence. She would’ve dropped the phone, but her hands were completely stiff. What. Fly? To England? Like, the country?

“W-wait Harry-”

“I don’t want arguing. Mum insisted and so did Gemms. Apparently you have made quite a mark on them both,” he said “Besides, if you say no, you get to hear the wrath of them and I’m not about to stick around for that.”

“Harry but.. what about Nadine?” It was an obvious question. She was more important...right?

“She’s coming as well, but mum has told me she would love to have you there.” Great. Exploit for Anne and Gemma. Well, I guess she had to. I mean she was excited, but being confined like that for a week with Harry and Nadine... at least she had Gemma. They had both gotten remarkably close the past few weeks. “I’ll take your silence as a yes then.”

“When do we leave on the 23rd?” She said with a sigh. She heard him whooo! And laughed. “God, relax. How am I gonna turn down a trip to friggin England?”

 

 

Ellie walked into Harry’s building and headed for the elevator. She hit his floor and knocked on his apartment door before sticking the key in and opening the door to something, almost hitting her head.

“Jesus!” She yelped and shut the door before opening it again to see if the coast is clear.

“YOU’RE A LIAR! I SAW THE FUCKING PHOTOS, HARRY!” Nadine's voice echoed through the living room and she heard a crash. Shit, I hope that wasn't the vase Anne had gotten him last year.

“YOU’RE BLOODY INSANE!” Oh no, not a good idea to call an angry girl crazy dumbass. “IT WAS NOTHING!”

“NOTHING? YOU TOOK HER SHOPPING, YOU DICK!” What the actual fuck was going on? Suddenly Nadine appeared in the living room where Ellie stood looking confused. Harry followed closely behind, in nothing but his boxers. Welp.

“I hate when my parents fight,” Ellie said, making a face. Both Nadine and Harry paused and looked at her, confused. “Kidding. What’s the damage now?”

“HE’S CHEATING ON ME AGAIN-”

“AGAIN!? THE FUCK DO YOU MEAN AGAIN?! I NEVER CHEATED ON YOU, YOU CRAZY PERSON.” He screamed, his face beat red and his chest heaving in pure rage.

“THEN WHY IS YOUR HAND ON THE BACK OF SOME BLONDE’S FUCKING SHOULDER, HMM? I WENT TO L.A. FOR THREE DAYS--AND I HAVE TO SEE ALL THESE FUCKIN PICTURES OF YOU HANGING ON SOME WHORE-” Blonde? Oh shit.

“Whoa--hang on, you mean Glenne?” Nadine turned to Ellie and narrowed her eyes.

“You know her?” Ellie looked between Harry and Nadine.

“I mean... yeah, she’s Jeff’s girlfriend.” Nadine's face immediately fell and she took a deep breath.

“Harry--” She turned to him.

“I can't keep at this with you, Nadine. You don't fucking trust me. Ever. Anytime I’m even photographed next a women that isn’t my family or Ellanore, you come in here raging at me, breaking my shit-” He rubbed at his face in frustration. Tears streamed down Nadine's face.

“So what, Harry?! Its just fucking done?” She approached him and he shook his head.

“You need to go.” He looked up, his eyes rimmed red and glassy. Ellie’s liking for Nadine just dropped. Usually, she stuck up for homegirls, but not this time. No one makes her friends cry. Nadine shook her head.

“Whatever.” She grabbed her stuff and walked out the door not even acknowledging Ellie. Harry stood there a moment before he turned and walked back to his room slamming the door shut. With a sigh, Ellie undressed from her winter ensemble and tossed her bag on the floor. She slowly walked over to the sliding cloudy glass door that led to Harry’s bedroom. She noticed the magazine on the floor and picked it up. Harry was wearing friggin basketball shorts that drowned him and a winter coat. God, who the fuck let him out like this? His hair was held up on his head with a hair tie and he was in black sunglasses. He looked ridiculous.

“You know, your hair looks real nice in this picture,” she said, leaning on the door. There was a shuffle and Ellie waited. Nothing. “Your butt’s not looking too bad either-”

“What are you doing?” He asked, sliding the door open, making her stumble and fall into his broad tattooed chest. She gasped and stood up straight, locking eyes with him. She frowned.

“Harry, I know you. You don't cheat.” She said, not looking away. He frowned deeper and looked to the floor.

“You know nothing about me,” he mumbled, turning away and heading towards his bed. Ellie followed and sat next to him.

“I know enough. You respect women. And guys.” He looked up at her. “Yeah I’m not stupid, I read some shit on your fan twitters.” With that, his lips peaked into a little smirk.

“You googled me,” he said softly.

“I mean yeah, I kind of had to. Not to mention, apparently one of my roomates lives in your ass. Something I was unaware of till the other day. I've never actually looked around in her room before, and I happened to peek in there and your face was just smack dab right on her wall.” Ellie shuddered, Clair had sunk into a new fandom recently. Ellie thought something along the lines of new book series. Then she had heard Harry’s record playing from behind the door and peeked into see Harry's face plastered next to Clair's bed. Now she was really intent on keeping friendships under wraps.

“Is she hot?” Ellie slapped him with a pillow hard, making him laugh.

“Point being--Harry, you’re not a cheater. Nadine is just jealous, and probably paranoid as fuck,” she said, giving her the benefit of the dough.

“Ellie, she's been like this since we started talking. I thought it'd get better but... it hasn't.” He fell back dramatically on his puffy white duvet.

“I mean this with no offense whatsoever, but... maybe she's insecure?” Ellie was trying to give this girl something.

“She's beautiful. What could she possibly be insecure about?” He mumbled into the pillow. And then it hit her. Could... could she feel threatened?

“Harry... something else happened.” She watched his muscles tighten. She was right wasn't she?

“She said... She said she was uncomfortable.” Harry sat up and his eyes found Ellie’s. He looked guilty. Fuck. She knew it before it even left his mouth.

“Me. It’s me isn’t it?” Ellie barely whispered the words before Harry grabbed her hands.

“Hey, look at me, I assured her were just friends alright? She said that a while ago. It’s changed now-”

“Harry, no it hasn't. She just had a bitch fit--”

“About something completely unrelated. Trust me,” he said intently, refusing to let go of Ellie’s hands.

 

 

Alright, in all fairness, she did look kinda hot. She had found this black bodycon type dress with a high neckline, sleeveless, and hugged her curves stopping just mid thigh. There was a gold zipper on the front by her right knee and one on her right shoulder by the sleeve, and black leather cascading from under her arm down her sides. She had to admit, it was pretty attractive. She spotted it on the hanger when she was shopping the other day and fell in love. Lucky for her, Harry was having a release party tonight and she figured it'd be perfect for the event.

“Have you gotten into his pants yet?” Kaia asked from Ellie's bed, writing down something in her notebook.

“Do you guys know what the term ‘friend’ means?” Ellie said, applying her favorite dark red lipstick.

“Okay but you'd never go looking like this if I was having an art gallery. You look like you’re about to go clubbing or man hunting,” Kaia said, raising her eyebrows.

“Leave her alone, Kaia. Work him, Ellie. Make him want you.” Clair threw a pillow at Kaia.

“Do not hit me--” Kaia said, throwing the pillow back.

“Oh, my mom said you’re welcome to join us for Christmas if you'd like. You know, instead of you moping around here.” Ellie froze and turned to Kaia.

“Actually I'm uhm...going to England.” All three of their heads shot up and stared at her.

“Are you fucking a sugar daddy?” Clair said.

“Clair, what the fuck-” Ellie said, shaking her head. “No, Harry-”

“Dude, when are we gonna meet this kid? He literally never even has bothered to meet us. I don't even see selfies on your instagram of you guys.” Kaia crossed her arms in annoyance.

“Listen, you guys will meet him, he's just really busy. I told you he's a music major. Shit’s intense--” Ellie slipped on Clair’s black heels, and checked herself over once again.

“Who's apparently loaded enough to send you car service, and now take you to fucking England for Christmas?” They all narrowed their eyes at her before she sighed.

“I’ll let you meet him when we get back. I won't have classes till January 14th. We get back the 2nd okay? God, why do you even need to meet him?” She said, pulling on her black leather jacket.

“He's taking you to another country. I can barely get you to ride shotgun when we road trip out of the city,” Anna replied. “We’re just worried, you know?”

“I promise you, I’m fine,” she said, blushing a bit.

“Well, have fun killing him,” Clair said with a wink, getting up.

“Killing him?”

“Yeah, I’d keel over and die if I was that dude and saw you in this fucking dress.” She walked out and that was enough of a boost to get Ellie hyped for the night.

 

 

Ellie walked into the dark lounge, it was huge. On the outside it a small shady looking door on the side of a brick building. It was like the tardis. A waiter handed her a glass of champagne and she thanked him sipping it. Wow thats the good shit. She looked around in the dark blue lights and suddenly spotted a lighted area in the middle. A huge circular looking modern type couch, Harry sat in the middle, everyone surrounding him. He was laughing away at something and her heart clenched. Nadine was next to him. She was leaning over and pressed a kiss to his cheek. Fuck. Abort. Maybe he didn't see her. She turned on her heel and bumped right into Jeff who smiled widely.

“Ellanore! How are you ?” He hugged her and introduced Glenne to her. Ellie smiled warmly and shook her hand.

“Nice to meet you!” Ellie said. They talked for a couple minutes before they excused themselves and Ellie headed right for the door. She was almost there when she felt someone grab her arm and spin her around.

“Ellie! Where you off to?” Fuck. Harry swayed a bit on his feet, clearly a bit buzzed. She just smiled at him.

“J-just get some air.” She lied through her teeth. And also to fucking escape. “I see Nadine and you made up.” His stupid little brows furrowed and he made that adorable confused face before turning to you.

“Oh yeah, we uh worked it out a bit.” He smiled to her, and it almost looked fake. “Come on, I want you to sit over by us.” He dragged her enthusiastically to the couch and she really just wanted to die right then and there.

 

As they sat down, Harry introduced her to some of his friends. A British host of a morning show on BBC1, Nick Grimmie. A few of his friends from England that flew out for the occasion and a couple of his producers. Ellie smiled and greeted all of them, also saying hi to his band. All the while Nadine had her eyes glued on Ellie. It wasn't a mean look, just a analyzing one.

Ellie wasn't sure how many glasses of champagne she’d had, but she could feel the room slightly tilting. Harry got up when Jeff announced it was time for them to play the single. He walked to the stage and grabbed his guitar as the rest of CHASM assembled behind him.

“How's everyone doing out there?” Harry said into the mic as everyone cheered. “As you all know, I've been working on my new album. It's been a bit hard, but I recently met someone who.. kind of helped the process a bit.” His eyes landed on Ellie and her jaw clenched. Everyone was looking her way as Harry's dimpled smile grew and he bit his lip a bit. Is he fucking kidding me... “Anyway, Here it is--our new single,” he said as the drums kicked in. Ellie’s heart rammed against her ribcage and she could feel her forehead begin to sweat. Why the hell... She turned to see Nadine still staring her down. Goddamn it.

 

The song ended and the place erupted into cheers. Harry hopped off stage and Nadine ran to him. She locked lips with him and he smiled to her lovingly. Good. That's good. Right? Fuck, why does she keep having this deep chest pain? Ellie walked to the bar and put the glass down, letting Harry having his moment.

“So, thoughts?” Harry asked from behind her. She turned around and gave him a smile.

“Eh, could be better.” She joked and he laughed pushing her shoulder a bit.

“And you could do better?” He challenged.

“Nah, it was good. Proud of you,” she said, rolling her eyes. He wrapped her in his arms and squeezed tight. The smell of his tom ford cologne filled her nose and she inhaled deeply. God, he felt so good… No, enough.

“Thanks Ellie, means a lot,” he mumbled and pulled away.

“Why? I’m not anyone all that important.” She laughed and his face got serious.

“Of course you are. You’re my best friend, your opinion matters most,” he said, leaning over and grabbing another flute of champagne and handing it to her. “Drink up, yeah?” He kissed her forehead and headed back towards his bandmates and Nadine.

 

The rest of the night went pretty smoothly. That is, until Ellie was confronted in the girls bathroom. And honestly, how cliché can this chick be? What's she gonna do, corner her like a dog? Yup. Exactly what she was gonna do. Ellie was washing her hands when someone turned the faucet off forcefully and she turned to see Nadine standing over her with a glare.

“What's your game?” Nadine asked straightforwardly.

“Problem?” Okay, she probably shouldn't give attitude back and fuel this ridiculous fire but hey, she's feisty. It's in her blood to fight.

“You think I don't notice? I'm not stupid.” She crossed her arms and eyed Ellie head to toe. “Suddenly you’re so fashionable and intriguing, almost taunting him to make him look your way. I see the way you eye him, Ellanore. You’re not the least bit innocent.” Okay well, I guess girls can see sometimes her gaze lingers. But chick is nuts if she thinks Ellie’s a threat.

“Harry told me you feel threatened.” Ellie threw out the paper towel and got on eye level with Nadine.

“Let me be the first to say, you have nothing to worry about. I'm literally no competition to you.” She watched Nadine assess her for a moment. Contemplating if this was a trap or not. “But I will say this, you hurt my best friend, and I'll tear your hair out of your head strand by strand while ripping those fingernails off and breaking your knee caps.” Nadine froze, her mouth dropping.

“I-” She was at a loss for words. Ellie gave her another smile and walked towards the exit.

“Believe it or not, I'm on your side.” Ellie turned around to face her once again. “But if you hurt him, I’d sleep with one eye fucking open.” As she walked out she expected Nadine to come after her and throw down. But instead she walked over to Harry, who was way past buzzed and full on drunk. He slung his arm over her shoulder and pulled her close.

“There's m'girl. Ellz this is ma mates from back ome'.” Harry introduced her to a couple of his friends and she smiled and shook their hands.

“Shit, Harry, you never said she was this hot--” One of them started, his eyes raking over her. She blushed and turned away, biting her lip.

“Yeah man--there's beautiful but she's like-” The other man said, winking at her. She felt Harry shift, his eyes narrowing.

“Alright lads, relax,” he said, rolling his eyes and leaning extremely close to her ear. “S'rry they’re bit drunk.” He giggled. Yup. Giggled. And Ellie had to close her fist because she so badly wanted to succumb to the urges and bite those beautiful red lips. “You’re the bes you know tha'” He said, falling back a bit and she wrapped an arm around his waist to keep him from falling. He laughed and wrapped both his arms around her neck his forehead on hers.

“Harr-” He shushed her with his finger. Fuck. This was true torture. Like 14th century, cruel torture.

“Why you wearin' this dress, hmm?” He said, trying to look confused.

“Because I had to look nice. Trust me I wasn't thrilled.” She mumbled and he laughed his head falling to her shoulder. “Dude you’re like 100 pounds heavier than me.” She laughed as his hands slowly fell down her shoulders and past her upper arms. Okay, so he was a cuddly drunk. Duly noted.

“HARRY!” Nadine’s voice screeched behind him and Ellie heard him groan from her shoulder.

“What!?” He screamed back, shooting up angrily and looking over at her.

“We’re leaving--I want go.” She went to grab his arm and he pushed her off. Great. And away we go.

“So then go. Shit--why you yellin’ at me?” He slurred, stumbling off of Ellie and backwards a bit.

“Because I want to leave with you.” She sounded almost broken. Harry sighed and wiped his head.

“Go,” Ellie said to him and he frowned.

“B-but.” He opened his mouth as if he wanted to say more. But when he turned back to Nadine she watched his face turn to guilt. He silently nodded. Ellie walked over to Nadine and she glarred her down.

“Just... text me when you guys get back, okay?” Nadine visibly softened and she nodded, her arm around Harry's waist and he was leaning against her for support. That goddamn song got her. His fucking cologne got to her. Goddamn it. GODDAMN IT. This was so beyond unfair.


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> DOUBLE UPDATE CAUSE YOU LOVELIES DESERVE IT

We Can’t Be Friends-12

 

 

The art studio was lit by fluorescent lights. Ellie’s music played on the small speaker in the corner of the room. For the past hour she had been staring at this blank canvas. Her smock was on over her black jeans and tank top. Her hair was tied up in a clip and hanging in her face and her fingers were covered in paint as she twirled the brush back and forth.

Fucking Harry Styles. This fucking pop sensation who girls wet their panties for and she promised herself this wouldn't be a fucking thing. And now she's here sitting down and all she wants to paint are his fucking green eyes and those goddamn curls and his perfect jawline. Ugh. Fuck. She closed her eyes hoping another image would come to her.

 

“Fuck!” She yelled angrily. She's not sure who she was mad at. Herself, Nadine, Harry or her family, or just her life. Everything was fine and then he just... fucking shows up. She looked around at all her other works hanging about the room. Different sketches, paintings, photographs. All of him. HIM. What was wrong with her? It was like he was haunting her. Purposely clouding her judgement.

But here in this room. This small secluded studio that she rented, she knew she was safe. Safe with her thoughts and her words and her fantasies. Safe with her feelings that she just wanted to disappear. God just disappear. Her phone beeped.

Harold the boy who lived:

Where are u?

Christ were his ears ringing or something? Ellie sighed and clicked it off. Later. She had one more piece to finish before they left for england In a couple of days. Her phone buzzed again and again and she rolled her eyes.

Harold the Boy who lived:

Ellie?

El?

Ellanore?

Bestie?

Nerd?

I've got chocolate cake.  
Seriously, not even that?

Cool, she was in love with a man child. Wait... fuck. Did she just say love? Gemma’s words echoed in her mind. Oh, come on. She groaned and rubbed her face replying. Suddenly It lit up with Harry's face. She answered

“It’s that Swedish chocolate you like. The one from that place we went to on west 62nd.” Harry sounded a bit out of breath.

“What do you want? I’m working.” Her eyes fell on the blank canvas. Okay, she was trying to work. He laughed.

“Good, I can use one of your weird teas-”

“No, I meant.. classwork. What uhm… What'd you need? Are you running?” She asked, gathering her paints.

“I ditched Dale so I could go get your gift,” he said and she could tell he was smiling.

“First off, you don't have to buy me anything. Secondly--did you really need to ditch your bodyguard for that?”

“I wanted a walk. It's snowing,” he said like it was the most obvious thing in the world. Yeah sure, its ice-hailing, I want to walk in it and get sick.

“You’re asking for the flu you know that?” She said, walking up to the white sheet in front of her. She let her mind wander as he spoke. “I have to wrap yours, Gemma’s, and Anne’s tonight,” she said.

“You bought my family gifts?” She laughed.

“I mean yeah, we're going to there house.” She shrugged, knowing he couldn't see her anyway.

“You’re sweet,” he said teasingly.

“Piss off, I’m just polite.” He laughed.

“Oh yeah, the most gracious. Listen, uhm, oh hang on,” he said, pausing a moment. Ellie frowned and tilted her head. “You there?”

“Yeah,” she said, continuing her conquest. Ok, black, white, and just a hint of green. Beautiful.

“So, Nadine isn't going to England.” She almost dropped the phone.

“The fuck? I thought you two were okay?” Ellie crossed her arms and put the brashes down.

“We are... at least I think we are. But she's going with some of her friends to the islands. Said she didn't feel like being in the cold and rain for her vacation or some shit, I don't know.” Bitch. He didn't sound too upset though.

“Harry, I’m sorry-”

“It’s alright. Besides, I need some time from her anyway,” he said calmly. Ellie frowned. She knew his heart was hurting inside. He could put on his mask all he wanted. But she'd be there if he needed it. “Ell?”

“Mm?” She asked, admiring the last touches she was putting on her painting.

“Do you.. you think it's cause of me?” She frowned.

“What do you mean?”

“Because I'm famous and what not... I can't seem to find someone who can handle it and actually be with me.” Fuck. How dare he. How dare he blame himself and his success on selfish bitches that hurt him.

“Harry,” she said quietly. “Any woman who complains about a man's success and knowingly enters a spotlight relationship with them and ends up asking them to selfishly give that up.. that's not a woman at all. That’s a girl. A child. There's someone out there for you. And they’re gonna love you. Paparazzi, fans and all.” Like me.

“You think?” He said sadly.

“I know.” Because it’s me. But I refuse to put this friendship at risk and I always end up running anyway she thought bitterly. She stepped back and looked at her painting. She half smiled and put her paints back.

“You still there?” he asked softly.

“Yeah, I’m still here, Har.”

“Thank you, by the way.” She didn't have to ask what for. She heard him shuffle a bit and a door click. He must've just got home. “I’ll see you tomorrow, yeah?”

“Yeah. Tomorrow.” She agreed and they hung up. Over 40 fucking pieces of art and all of him. All of them inspired by his words, his songs, his smiles. All created since the day they had met in June. She walked over and pulled down one of the small watercolor paintings she had done of him a couple months back. It was simple, on watercolor paper. He was sitting at the table in the cafe, the colors behind him in the window were red and orange and warm. He had been writing in a cream jumper and black skinny jeans. His curls falling around him. A guitar in his hands. She slid it in her folder and headed home.

 

Ellie finished packing up her suitcase. She slipped in the awesome Star Trek book Anna had gotten her, and the cute Supernatural shirt Clair had bought. Kaia got her some new art pencils as well that she put in with her sketch pad and a few other of her art supplies. She knew at some point she'd be out and about taking in the beautiful scenery. Her phone beeped and she smiled, Dale was downstairs.

“Ready? We’re gonna actually pack our stuff now too,” Kaia said walking past Ellie’s room. Ellie nodded and grabbed her suitcase and followed her roomates out of the flat. When she got downstairs, she yawned dramatically and headed for the door. Dale walked out of the car and smiled.

“Hello, Ms. Ellie,” he said winking at her. She laughed as he took his bag,

“Oh, I got-” He held his hand up. “He still sleeping?” She asked, noticing the empty car. Thank god.

“Yeah, bit late. S’all right though, we’re grabbing him after we leave here,” he said as Ellie turned and hugged her friends.

“What's with Thor?” Kaia asked, looking at Dale skeptically. Ellie laughed.

“Looks more like Bruce Banner to me.” Dale rolled his eyes and got in the front.

“Welp, snap us pictures. A lot of them. I wanna see everything.” Ellie laughed and hugged them all.

“Stay safe, okay? Shitty drive to Long Island,” Ellie said before waving and jumping into the backseat.

 

She probably should've thought this through more. Like a lot more. Because she was now gripping the arm rest so hard, her knuckles were white. Harry, on the other hand, was calmly listening to music as the stewardess went over the evacuation instructions. This bitch is crazy right? Evacuate where? 20K feet from the ground? She’d only flown like once and she didn't even remember it. Deep breaths. Her xanax should've kicked in but unfortunately she thinks her adrenaline has burned it off.

The plane began to move, Harry not even paying attention as the speed picked up. Ellie shut her eyes tightly as tried to breathe. Suddenly, she felt a hand intertwine with hers and opened her eyes to see Harry giving her an encouraging smile.

“You’re alright,” he whispered. She shut her eyes again and he squeezed harder. Suddenly, the plane lurched off the ground and they were in the air. After 10 minutes, Harry brushed his thumb along her hand and she slowly looked over to him. He pointed to the window and she looked at him curiously.

“Look,” he said, opening the small shade and her eyes widened. Holy shit. It was beautiful the sunrise, but above beautiful clouds.

“Whoa.” She breathed out and Harry smiled at her.

 

Harry watched her look out the window in amazement. God, she was beautiful when she was mesmerized. Something as simple as a sunrise lit her up. He liked that about her. That she may be tough and brash, but held gentleness. The way she cooed over any animal she saw and loved simple things like the colors of the sky during a summer sunset, or when she finds exactly what she had been looking for in a store. She was always so sure of herself, that little uncertainties and spontaneity entertained her. He watched as she ran her hand through her dark hair. He loved when she wore it down, and she leaned back suddenly relaxed.

“You good?” He asked with amusement. She nodded, an eased smile on her lips.

“Yeah, took a xanax before we got on here. I think it kicked in” She said laughing a bit. Harry chuckled and asked the stewardess for some coffee and juice. Ellie looked at him.

“What’s that look for?”

“You cheating on my coffee?” She said raising an eyebrow.

“Shut it, you.” He said back sipping the white mug. He made face. Even in first class, it wasn’t Starbucks or his usual New York order. “Yuck.”

“Good, that's what you get,” she said, turning over and relaxing against the seat.

“Someone's cheeky this morning,” he mumbled, receiving a smack to his arm. He winced. “Oi, watch it, a little more to the left and you would've gotten my family jewels.”

“You’re a perv,” she muttered, not opening her eyes,

“You love it.” He watched as her hair fell around her small face.

“Yeah, I do,” she replied nonchalantly. Did... she just. No. She meant it friendly.

 

Harry glanced over at Ellie every once in awhile during the flight. He heard her light snoring and smiled a bit to himself. Suddenly her face scrunched a bit in her sleep and she curled towards him. Her face found his shoulder and she nuzzled into him, sighing to herself in relief. 

She was so different. So different then his usual type of girl. She wasn't some tall thin instagram model. She wasn't interested in fashion and traveling to different islands and posting all over social media. She worked hard, day in and day out. She had the most beautiful soft curves he'd ever seen. Her hair wasn't always perfectly straightened or done up. And when she did wear makeup, it was simple enough that you could see her natural beauty shine through. 

He admired every little thing about her. The way she danced around without caring who saw just because she had a song stuck in her head. Or even how she was tough as all hell, ready to fight but as soon as she saw a commercial about the ASPCA, she would tear up and immediately have to change the channel. He adored how passionate she was with everything she set her mind to. Or that she could probably quote every Harry Potter movie and book if you asked her to. Ellie suddenly stirred again and groaned.

“Is it over yet?” She said, refusing to open her eyes. Harry laughed a little.

“Not quite, love. ‘bout an hour left.” She groaned and buried her face into him. God, it took everything not to rest his lips on her forehead in that moment. Her shampoo smelled incredible. Soft jasmine and lilac. Silence settled over them once more.

“You gonna Edward Cullen me the entire flight?” Ellie said, a smirk on her lips. Harry flushed and looked away.

“Not sure what you mean,” he said, with a chuckle. “Besides, it's not like I haven't snuck into your room before and stood in the dark of the corner and watched you sleep.”

“Creeper,” she mumbled.

 

 

Damp. Her first impression of England was wet and damp and chilly. But wow, absolutely beautiful. Green hills and small houses, narrow streets. It was her first time watching Harry drive, and she felt somewhat relaxed. His fingers tapping along to the the radio, on the steering wheel. Ellie rolled down the window despite the chill in the air. She inhaled deeply. It smelled so clean and fresh.

“You alright over there?” Harry asked, laughing a bit.

“I forgot what fresh air smelled like,” she said sarcastically.

“I’ve never asked where you from, have I?” He said, turning to her for a moment.

“Long Island. But by the beach,” she replied distantly. She wasn't a fan of talking about her parents. Or her family for that matter. They practically disowned her after she told them about art school. Harry nodded thoughtfully.

“Maybe we could go there when the weather is nicer?” He questioned at a red light. Ellie just nodded, clearly lost in her mind.

 

They arrived at a medium-sized baise house with dark shutters on the windows. There was a small garden in the front that Ellie assumed looked beautiful in the summer and spring. The simplicity of the home is what warmed her heart. She wasn't sure what to expect, but this was so elegant and normal.

Harry hopped out and grabbed the suitcases from the back. Ellie went to take hers and he shook his head. She rolled her eyes.

“Dude, I’m perfectly capable-” He shoved her hand away and pushed on down the path. “You’re such a child.” He shot her grin over his shoulder and she followed. Anne opened the door with a bang, wiping her hands on a dish towel. Gemma came bounding out after her. They embraced Harry tightly, Anne fussing over how fast Harry’s hair was growing and how he needed a proper cut again. Gemma looked around and spotted Ellie. She ran to her and hugged her tightly. Ellie caught her with an oomf and laughed a little, hugging back.

“So glad you decided to come! Mum was practically begging him to drag you hear if you would've said no.” Gemma walked alongside her as they walked into the house. It was just as cozy as the outside, a real homey feel to It. Fall smelling candles lit the entire living room and sat burning on the bar between the kitchen and dining room.

“Your house is beautiful, Anne.” Ellie said, undressing Anne wrapped her arms around her and pulled her in tightly.

“I can't tell you how happy I am you decided to come. It’s so nice to have you both here. Dinner's almost ready, a few of our friends will be over tonight--”

“Mum let her breathe,” Harry said, rolling his eyes and walking into the kitchen, inhaling all delicious food.

“Oi, you stay away from that stew young man or I'll break your fingers,” Anne said spotting Harry peaking into the slow cooker. Ellie laughed as Anne walked over and smacked his hand away.

“You’re as mean as she is, mum.” His eyes fell on Ellie and she blushed a bit.

“You cook?” She asked excitedly.

“Uhm, a little bit. Mostly for just me and my roomates. A few times for Harry, but nothing too special,” she said, fidgeting with her hair a bit.

“Well, the person you marry is a lucky one indeed. Not many people choose to cook anymore. But in this house, I cook as many homemade meals as much as I can.”

“Ellie makes the best homemade mac and cheese and bacon.” Harry said, going in the fridge and grabbing a water.

“Eh, it's alright,” she said, shrugging.

“Harry dear, I’m sorry to hear Nadine couldn't make it.” Anne began and the mood in the room shifted. Gemma quickly turned to Ellie.

“Uhm, it's alright. She already had plans for the vacation,” he said, trying to cover up the hurt. Ellie could see right through the bullshit. She had given Nadine a lot of chances, but this was probably the last. How could you possibly say no to staying with your boyfriend's family for the holidays?

 

After everyone was fed and settled, Ellie emerged from the guest bedroom. She heard Anne and Gemma in the kitchen, cleaning the dishes. God, she envied this. Envied the normalcy of a family being together without drama. Envied the warmth and welcoming feeling when she stepped foot in the house. Her eyes glanced over at the wall, dozens of framed photos hung in various places. As much as she loved drawing, the reason she majored in photography was because of the effect it had on her. A frozen moment in time, complete with a story behind it, no matter how simple. Her hand grazed over the a beautiful silver frame, a small toothless Harry and Gemma aged probably around 5 or 6. She smiled as Gemma held up a pair of scissors and Harry's smile was so wide she could see right through his tooth gap.

“God, I remember that day,” Harry said from behind her. She jumped at his voice and he chuckled a bit as she swatted his chest playfully.

“I swear to god I should've got you a cat bell,” she mumbled, turning back to the photo.

“Mum almost broke down. Gemma wanted to achieve her dream of being a hairdresser.”

“Oh no.” Ellie turned to him her eyes wide.

“Oh yeah. Cut a nice chunk out of the top of my head.” He pointed to the spot and Ellie covered her mouth.

“Jesus Christ-”

“Mum nearly died.” The smile he had on, remembering the memory, almost made Ellie's knees weak. “What about you? Ever give your mum a panic attack? I feel like you were a bit of a handful as a babe.” He turned to her, raising an eyebrow.

“Yeah, a couple times. She was different back then...” Her voice trailed off a bit, eyes not leaving the wall of moments.

“You don't talk about your family much.” It wasn't an accusing tone, or a forceful one. Just a curious thought that clearly plagued him since all he did was talk about his mom and Gemma. Ellie let out a sad sigh before turning to him. The truth was bound to come out, but did she really want him to look at her the same way most people did?

“They’re... not really like your family,” she said, looking down, a bit ashamed. “They used to be pretty loving... I’m not sure what changed. I grew up with a lot of opairs. When my siblings came along, It was... different.” He didn't speak, only let her gather her thoughts and say what was on her mind. She could feel her chest starting to tighten. Okay, that was enough for the moment. Desperate for a change of subject, she peeked behind Harry and noticed his childhood room. With a sly smile, she headed toward it.

“Where you off to?” He asked, following her.

“I’m intrigued,” she said, pushing the white door with multiple band stickers on it aside. Oh. This was interesting. It was a dark navy blue, his full size bed was in the middle of the room. She noticed all the records on the wall and smiled a little. She spotted some old song books, a couple of comic books and a pile of tattered up note books. She walked over and picked one up just in time for him to snatch it away. “HEY, I was about to read that-”

“Girls have diaries, musicians have old lyric books... that I should've burned, to be honest--” He mumbled, holding it way above her head. Goddamn tall skyscraper with his long ass branch arms. She jumped and he smirked at her attempt. “Come on now, you can do better than that.”

“How about I just punch your dick and you drop it,” she said, crossing her arms and smiling in triumph. His face fell.

“Would you really play that dirty?”

“You willing to find out? Doesn't Nadine need that particular part of your anatomy?” He sighed.

“You’re a rather evil woman.” He said handing her the notebook. She took it , grinning like crazy. He leaned over her and she almost stumbled back. His lips were very close to her ear. “Kind of kinky.” He winked and walked over to his luggage, pulling out his sleeping shirt. Ellie rolled her eyes and tried to catch her breath. Asshole. Trying to be all manipulative. She glanced at some of the pages, the words so simple they kind of warmed her heart a bit. She slowly sat down and read through each page.

She could see the growth and maturity of every song she read out. She was on the 3rd lyric book when Harry returned from the bathroom down the hall.

“They’re not that good, Ell, are you seriously still reading them?” He asked, folding his jeans up. She jumped, startled a bit by his presence again.

“Sorry--what?” He tilted his head watching her.

“Are you really that interested in that? There just some crappy attempts.” He shrugged and walked over, taking the book from her.

“I found them kind of cute,” she said nonchalantly.

“...Cute? Really?” He flipped through a couple of pages then tossed it back in the pile. “I don't know, they were just random thoughts from high school and stuff. Never took them all that seriously. I bet you throw out all your old drawings.”

“Actually, I kind of have them hoarded all in a huge bin at my house... that is unless someone tossed them. But I mean.. it's embarrassing to me but also fascinating to see how much I've grown, you know?” Harry considered it for a moment.

“Yeah I guess you're right.”

“Besides, I know 1.5 million fangirls that would pay hefty amounts of money for those things.”

“You wouldn't dare,” he said, paling.

“If you ever tease me again, I just might.” She winked at him, dramatically heading towards her room and he broke out laughing. “Pleasant dreams, Harold.”

“Yeah, fuck off, Ell.”


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I AM TRASH AND ACCIDENTALLY POSTED CHAPTER 12 TWICE SHOUT TO THE PERSON WHO TOLD ME. YOU THE REAL MVP. ANYWAY HERES WONDERWALL... kidding enjoy chap 13 ;)

We Can’t Be Friends-13

 

 

 

They had spent all of Christmas Eve baking and cooking. Ellie had voluntarily spent time with Anne, helping her in anyway. She missed this. She missed being needed or even wanted. In her family, it wasn't like that. Once her mom remarried it was... like she became a different person. Shaking the negative thoughts from her head, Ellie pulled the casserole out of the oven and placed it on the tray.

“My god, Harry was right. This mac and cheese smells amazing,” Anne said from behind her, squeezing her upper arms. Ellie smiled and pulled the mits off.

“It smells amazing in here-” Harry said walking into the kitchen and pulling off his gloves and coat.

“Well that's because Ellie has done an incredible job,” Anne said smilingly encouragingly to Ellie.

“And to think, I thought Americans couldn't cook-” Harry began and Ellie elbowed his ribs. He gasped and chuckled. “Mum, did you see that- HEY!” Anne swatted the back of his head.

“Respect her.” Anne said jokingly, pointing a finger in her son’s face.

“Oi, what's going on in here?” Gemma said, appearing behind her brother. “We ganging up on him already?”

“Usually I enjoy a room filled with women, but now I’m just scared,” Harry said, rubbing his head still.

“My poor boy.” Anne leaned over and kissed his cheek dramatically and Harry groaned.

“Mummmm,” he whined.

“What time’s church tonight?” Gemma asked, swiping a piece of chicken.

“We’ll go to 11pm mass. Why don't you all go clean up and dress and we’ll eat in an hour?” Anne said, pulling out the night’s dinner from the fridge. That had been the first of the many trays Ellie and her had made today.

 

Harry watched Gemma and Ellie head up the stairs and he smiled. He’s not gonna lie, since he started dating Nadine, he had always imagined what she’d look like in his family. He thought of how he’d spend his days with his mum and sister and Nadine in England. And if she was here, what would she be doing. Would she be with his mum in the kitchen, helping her like Ellie was, or sitting on her phone?

“I know that look.” Anne spoke next to him. He whipped his head towards her.

“What look?” He said, furrowing his brows.

“You’re my son, I know every look you have. And that's your concentration look.” She covered the roasted potatoes and put them in the oven to heat up. When she was done, she turned and smiled to him, leaning against the counter. “What's on that mind of yours?”

“Nothing.” She raised an eyebrow. “Honestly mum, nothing.” She sighed and held her hands up in defense.

“Alright.” They were quiet again. “You know, that girl spent the entire day with me today.” Harry looked at her again. She was smiling to herself. “She told me a bit about where she’s from... bit about her parents.” Suddenly, he watched his mum’s eyes sadden. “How can anyone.. not want to see their child succeed in anything they put their mind to?” She turned to her son. Her eyes were glassy, and she just stared at him.

“Mum--” She shook her head.

“Harry, I’m just... I’m so proud of you. I know I don't say it much-”

“You don't have to say anything, mum. You being there... that's enough to know you support me.”

“Yes but, I want you to know...” She grabbed his cheeks. “I am so proud of everything you've done. From taking care of me and your sister when your father...” She couldn't say it. “And even with Robin..” Her voice trailed off. God, he hated when his mum cried. Even if they were happy tears, his heart continued to break. “You are everything a mother could ask for.” She kissed his forehead and grabbed the dish towel dabbing her eyes. “Christ, I hate the holidays... always get so emotional.” Harry walked over and wrapped his arms around her, pulling her close.

“Thank you,” he said softly, pulling away.

“And that girl...” She started. “Don't lose her, Harry. She's an important one.”

“I know,” he said, glancing at the stairs. “She's taking care of me.” Anne’s face brightened.

“Let her,” she said, smiling at her son. “But, try and take care of her too. She seems like she needs it.”

“If she wasn't so stubborn, I would be,” he said, rubbing his eyes. “She almost fought me when I told her not to pay me for the flight... and then she heard I got her a Christmas gift and she practically clawed my eyes out.” Anne let out a breathy laugh and shook her head.

“How you two stand each other is beyond me.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“You’re as stubborn as she is, but then again, those who fight together...” She trailed off grabbing plates and putting them on the table.

“Mum, stop. Ellie... she's just a friend.” Harry helped her with the utensils.

“Harold Edward Styles, do not try and pull that on me.” Anne put her hands on her hips.

“What?” He narrowed his eyes. “She is!”

“I see how you look at her...” She began. Harry frowned. Was it that obvious that sometimes he'd stare just a little too long? Just then, Ellie and Gemma came bounding down the steps.

“God, I’m starving. So hard not to eat as you cook-” Ellie said, sitting down, Gemma following.

“Wow, who died?” Gemma asked, looking between her mum and brother.

“Gemma, really?” Anne said, rolling her eyes.

“What? You took look so torn up.” She quickly stopped talking and grabbed the food from the dish as Anne set it on the table. Ellie looked up and caught Harry staring at her. His were watching her, but his mind was somewhere completely different.

 

 

Christmas morning with the Styles family was different. Very different from Ellie and her family. The Styles’ stayed in their pajamas and drank hot cocoa till 1pm. Then guests would arrive at around 3pm. So when Harry bounded into her room and jumped on her bed at 8am, she groaned and turned over.

“What are you fucking 5? Piss off.” Ellie groaned, covering her head with a pillow. Harry laughed and jumped up and down.

“Wake the fuck up, you lazy bones-” he said into her ear. She pushed him away, making him fall off the bed with a thud. He laughed and jumped back on, straddling her hips with his waist. “That was very rude--I hope Santa left shit in your stocking.” He pulled the pillow away.

“Get off me, you fucknut, I could feel your morning hard on.” She grumbled turning around and glaring him down. He flushed and looked down, realizing she was full of it.

“Who put your panties in a bunch? Grouchy--” He began, but she flipped over, causing him to once again lose balance and fall off. She looked up and laughed. “That’s not funny-”

“You’re right, it’s hilarious. Who the hell gets up at 8am on Christmas?” She fell back into the bed and smiled as she was met with sudden silence.

“I’ll make you hot chocolate,” Harry said from the floor. Ugh. Asshole.

“Fine.” Harry jumped up and pulled Ellie by her feet dragging her from the nice warm comforter. She sighed and stood up. Suddenly harry's eyes widened and she looked down. Fuck. Forgot she was in a thong last night. Whatever. Everyone has an ass. She sleepily walked over to her bag and searched for her shorts. She was well aware Harry was still gawking.

“You act like you've never seen an ass before,” she said finding her soffe shorts and pulling them on.

“I-... You have a thigh tattoo,” he said, running his hand nervously through his curls.

“Yeah, I have like three.” She turned to him. “You comin? Or you gonna watch my butt all day?”

“I wasn't looking at your...” He trailed off, gulping. Ellie laughed and turned to see his cheeks were bright red.

“Hey, keep Christ in Christmas, bitch.” She winked and he rolled his eyes.

“Get downstairs before I push you down them,” he said grumpily.

 

They were greeted by Anne and Gemma sitting on the couch next to the lit up Christmas tree. Harry smiled widely and walks over giving them each a hug and kiss. Ellie does the same. She sits down on the loveseat across from them as Harry disappears into the kitchen. He returns with two Christmas mugs and a goofy smile on his face handing one to Ellie.

“Only way I was able to wake her.” Harry says sitting on the floor against his best friends legs. Anne and Gemma exchange a knowing smile. The sound of the news can be heard in the background.

“Presents?” Harry asks with childlike excitement.

“Of course,” Anne hands each of them there gifts. “Gemma, you first.” Gemma opened up her gifts, smiling at the beautiful Tiffany necklace Harry got her along with a pair of brand new black boots. She jumps up and hugs him tightly. Ellie had bought her a beautiful black and white striped jumper that had her squealing a bit.

“Ell, this is gorgeous!” she said, wrapping her arms around her. Ellie laughed.

“I actually saw it a week after we met and had to get it. It screamed you,” Ellie replied as Anne started opening her gifts. She adored all the beautiful new designer cookware Harry had bought her and adored the recipe book Ellie had gotten to match.

“Alright Harry, since you’re so impatient,” Anne said as Harry laughed and pulled out his mum’s and sister’s gifts. He thanked them for the amazing new Chelsea boots and custom leather jacket they had gotten him, courtesy of his stylist’s help.

“Mum, this is amazing,” he said, running a hand over the patchwork. He was so giddy, Ellie couldn't help but smile.

“Gemms helped me find some of your old ripped up band t-shirts. Thought we could extend their life a bit.” He hugged them tightly before picking up Ellie’s gift. She shifted a bit, nervous of his reaction. He opened the box and let out a laugh.

“God, this joke will haunt me, won’t it?” Harry said, lighting up at the t-shirt. Gemma laughed.

“What joke?” Gemma asked.

“First day I met Ellie, she called me the boy wizard. Because of my accent and name. Since then its been Harry Potter, the boy who lived and a couple of others. This one seemed to stick though,” he said, showing his sister the shirt and her and Anne started to cackle. He put it down and noticed a thinner box next to it. “Oh, more?” He said, raising an eyebrow at Ellie. She gulped and gave him a reassuring smile.

“Yeah. It’s kinda lame, so … if you’re not about it, I totally get it,” she said, fidgeting as he ripped it open and tore off the box over. Inside was the painting she had brought with her. The room went dead silent and she was instantly regretting it. Fuck fuck fuck. “Told you it's-” He picked it up and ran a finger over it gently, as if to take it in deeper.

“You did this?” His voice was so soft, she had to strain to hear him. He turned to her, his eyes locking onto hers. Suddenly, she felt like someone knocked the wind from her lungs.

“I.. yeah. Like I said, kinda lame. It's one of my favorites though. I just wasn't sure-”

“Ellanore. This is... this is beautiful,” he said in awe.

“What is it, love?” Anne asked, straining to see.

“It’s one of her artworks.” He gently handed it to Anne and she and Gemma looked at it in admiration.

“Ellie. This is absolutely beautiful,” she said, softly giving it back to Harry, who couldn't take his eyes off it. Ellie was a furious shade of red now, her hair falling into her face hiding her expression a bit. No one really ever cared for her art. Well, except for her school and her friends but... this was almost an unreal feeling. She thought for sure it would backfire and Harry would kind of just thank her. But here she sat surrounded by people who kept praising her instead of berating her work.

“You’ll never know how much this means to me.” Harry looked up at her and whispered a bit. She bit the inside of her cheek, noticing the utmost adoration in his eyes.

“You.. you really like it?” She said pushing her hair aside.

“I absolutely love it.” He put it down finally and stood up, leaning down and embracing her tightly. He buried his face a bit in her hair, taking in the addicting lilac scent. “Thank you.” It took everything for her to fight the happy tears as she nodded and he pulled away. Harry suddenly perked up and grabbed a small brown package from the tree.

“Here,” Harry handed her the present and she bit her lip. He looked so nervous, rubbing at the back of his neck. She tore the paper off and inhaled sharply. A black hard cover sketch book. Her name was printed in gold lettering on the cover. She opened it and ran her hand over the fresh new pages. There was a small note neatly placed in the front. 'For your dreams.' Her heart leapt in her chest.

“Harry...” she looked over to him. Tears formed in the back of her eyes.

“It’s kind of like a dream journal. But like a sketchbook. I know sometimes you stay up all hours of the night working, figured it'd be good to put them all in one place, ya know?” He explained, his eyebrows scrunching up.

“This is... awesome. Thank you.” She put it down and wrapped her arms around his neck. Over the years, she'd gotten a lot of gifts. But none of them were as thought-filled as this.

“Oh, there's a spot in the back you can put photographs as well,” he said, flipping to the last couple of pages and the back cover. “I know you have that old polaroid camera.” He shrugged a bit, trying to brush it off.

“This is honestly the most amazing thing I’ve ever gotten, Harry... I can’t thank you enough,” she said sincerely as she locked eyes with his beautiful emerald ones.

“Hey! I put a lot of thought into my gift for you too, El,” Gemma protested from the couch. Both of them snapped out of it as Anne swatted her daughter’s arm, clearly annoyed she ruined their moment. Ellie laughed and continued opening her gifts. And okay, she and Anne did put a lot of thought into it. The new camera case was fucking awesome.

After breakfast, Anne and Gemma began heating up the food for the guests. Ellie insisted on helping but instead, Anne made Harry kidnap her to the living room. Truth was, she enjoyed being around Anne. She missed having mom moments. Harry flipped through the channels, and Ellie watched his board expression.

“Are you gonna just keep going through the 500 channels repeatedly?” She said, crossing her arms. Harry didn't look away.

“Maybe, more entertaining than the news and weather- HEY!” Ellie grabbed the controller and kicked Harry's thigh.

“I hate when you do that. But home is worse because you had to get the 800 channel package,” she said sarcastically.

“Oi, my house-” He made to grab the remote when Ellie squealed. Harry jumped. “Shit--What’s wrong?”

“I forgot the Doctor Who marathon was on!” She said excitedly, making it louder.

“The what?” Harry said confused as Gemma’s head poked out from the kitchen.

“SHUT UP! WHAT SEASON?” Harry tilted his head completely gobsmacked his sister even knew what the fuck Ellie was talking about.

“It’s the 11th doctor! God, I fucking love Matt Smith,” Ellie said, her eyes now glued to the screen. Gemma ran over and sank down against the couch.

“Personally, I’m a Tennant fan, but Matt’s a close second.” Harry looked between the two. Are they fucking serious right now? For a while, his sister watched the episode, then disappeared back into the kitchen with their mom. Harry reluctantly watched, finding himself somewhat intrigued. Hed ask a couple of questions, and Ellie wouldnt look away but explain in as much detail as she could. While she animatedly told him about the show, his eyes wouldn't leave her. She was so enthusiastic and it made his stomach light with... butterflies? Seriously? Butterflies? 

God, she looked adorable right now. She literally woke up with her hair thrown all over in a messy bun, those adorable fucking black cheerleader shorts. Of course this morning he had to think of dead animals immediately after she rolled out of the covers in that fucking black thong. It was like she was trying to fucking destroy him, without even realizing. He thought about what he had gotten Nadine for Christmas, a simple gold bracelet. Nothing too special. But he went out of his way and had a custom sketchbook made for Ellie. And he just realized, he could give a fuck about what Nadine thought of his gift. But if Ellie had disliked hers, he probably would've been heartbroken. But instead, he watched her light up like the New York City skyline.

“Harry, darling, you two should ready. Guests will be here in a bit,” Anne said from the doorway.

“R-right.” He jumped up and headed up the stairs, all three women staring at him, puzzled. He needed a cold fucking shower. Again. Second time today his dick deceived him. He walked into the bathroom and turned the water on. He jumped in and immediately relaxed. Maybe if he just... yeah. Bang one out. It's probably because he and Nadine hadn't gone at it in a couple of weeks. That's definitely it. Because there was no plausible reason why he was getting hard just from seeing his best friend half naked. He wasn't a fucking thirteen-year-old boy. He had more control then that.

 

The warm water washed over him, he closed his eyes and wrapped a hand around his shaft. Nadine. Nadine's beautiful golden skin, and her long black hair... and nothing. What the fuck. Harry frowned deeply.

“Seriously?” He groaned frustratedly and leaned his head back on the stone wall. He gulped as his mind wandered... Ellie? The way that dress looked on her at dinner a couple weeks back. And those tattoos that trailed all over her thighs. Fuck. And the way her round red tinted lips pouted when her and harry had a spat. And now his mind is wandering how she'd look with them wrapped around him. “Holy shit.” Well, that worked. 

He looked down. “Traitor,” he grumbled, but continued his quest, stroking up and down thinking of his best friend, sprawled out on his white comforter. Arms over her head, hair circling around her like a halo. His fist squeezed a bit , and he let out a low moan praying to fuck no one heard him. He thought of how Ellie would feel, writhing under him, his mouth tracing every inch of her cream skin. He thought of her beautiful breasts, peeking out from under his vintage tour t shirt, and his hands caressing every curve. The idea of her gasping his name, begging him sent him over the edge. His breathing was heavy and he's pretty sure he hadn't cum that hard in years. Sudden realization made him curse under his breath.

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck fuck fuck. He did the one thing he tried so hard to avoid since meeting Ellanore. Fall for her. Hard.

 

As guests arrived, Harry greeted each one. He introduced Ellie around to his family and his family friends. She of course had to look stunning, dressed up in a dark maroon skater dress, flaring out at her waist. Simple, yet she looked like she could take down a fashion show. She was wearing that fucking red lipstick that sent Harry's spine in shivers and he had to bite his cheek from letting out anything inappropriate.

“Are you sure I look okay?” She kept asking, awkwardly fixing her hair and pulling down the dress skirt. Harry laughed and shook his head.

“I’m guessing your friend clair helped you pick that out?” He said, handing her a glass of red wine.

“More like forcefully shoved in my bag,” she grumbled, biting her lip and looking around at the full house. Christmas music played all around them and Harry couldn't help but keep staring. “You eyeing me like that is not helping, dude. I already feel out of place as fuck.”

“Why’s that? You’re practically family at this point, I’m surprised mum hasn't offered to adopt you as a Christmas gift,” he said, biting into a piece of cheese. Ellie swatted his hand.

“Hey, those are for later--and yeah, I’m literally the odd American out. I feel like a goldfish in a sea of salmon.” Harry looked at her, befuddled.

“Where in the fuck did that analogy come from?” She looked rolled her eyes and sipped at her wine. He snuck another piece, hoping she didn't notice, but her hip checking him clearly showed she did.

“HARRY MY DEAR!” One of his mum’s friends, Beth, walked over and hugged him tightly she kissed his cheek and held him at arm's length. “Look at how big you've grown, and your hair!” She said, playing with his long locks. He laughed.

“How are you?” He asked casually.

“Very well, been watching you on the telly a bit. Oh and this must be your lovely girlfriend!” Harry's face fell as Beth enveloped Ellie into a hug. She returned it kindly.

“Oh no, no just the best friend,” Ellie said her cheeks tinting a bit pink. Beth looked between them for a moment.

“Yeah, just a friend Aunt Beth.”

“I’m so sorry dear, I just assumed-” She began.

“No it's totally fine. If we don't get brother and sister, it's usually boyfriend and girlfriend,” Ellie said shrugging casually. Beth started to laugh and put a hand on Ellie’s cheek.

“Dear me, aren't you funny. Well I’m off, to find your mum! See you in a bit loves,” she said, disappearing into the crowd.

“We are not brother and sister,” Harry said, raising an eyebrow. Because there's no way in hell, I’d wank one off if we were anything like that, he thought bitterly.

“Yeah well, if people keep mistaking us for a couple... your girlfriend is gonna be pissed.”

“She shoulda been here, then,” he responded grumpily. And honestly, it was true. A week with his family. That's all he asked for. And he was praying if she came, it would maybe fix the tension between them. But no. Instead she flew to fucking Cancun with her friends.

 

That night, after dinner and after everyone left, Harry leaned against the counter as Ellie covered all the leftovers and placed them in the fridge. She had pretty much lectured his mum and sister to their rooms, insisting on finishing up so they could rest. Harry had noticed how his mum’s mood had dimmed a bit this year. It was her first year without Robin, and he knew it was fucking killing her. She had kissed Ellie’s cheek and thanked her. He found himself wanting this every christmas. The four of them together. And he prayed honestly that Ellie wanted the same.

“How drunk are you?” Ellie suddenly asked knocking him from his mind.

“Why do you ask?” He said with a half smile. She shook her head.

“Cause your friggin starring me down again.” He laughed.

“Yeah well, I’m just thinking,” he said, finishing off his last glass of wine for the night. She was right. He was pretty much ogling her.

“About what?” She asked in a sing-song voice. She slid the last tray into the fridge and looked at him curiously. Harry sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose.

“I’m a good boyfriend yeah?” He looked up at her, seriousness taking over. Damn white wine. She frowned. God, even frowning, she looked fucking beautiful.

“Dude, of course you are.” Realization hit her and she gripped his arm. “Harry,” He pulled his phone out and handed it to her. Ellie’s eyes looked over the instagram photo of Nadine a couple of her friends and a man standing behind her. She looked intoxicated and happy. Clearly not even thinking twice.

“She didn't even wish me a happy Christmas,” he mumbled and took it back. He watched his friend sigh and walk over to him. Her hands wrapped around his waist and she hugged him tightly. He leaned into her. His arms falling lazily around her, his chin resting on her now falling hair. He kinda liked how tiny she was. Small but she was tough as fuck. And what a turn on it was. She rubbed his back.

“I’m not one for being petty, but she sucks ass. No one should take advantage of you like that,” she said, pulling away. “You’re golden, dude. Don't let her fuck with that.” Don't do it, Harry. No matter how fucking whacked you are man, she is not yours to take. As beautiful she looks, even with her mascara smearing a bit and her hair thrown around her.

“Get your coat.” Taken aback, she looked at him like he had six heads.

“Harry it’s 2am,” she said, dumbfounded.

“Thanks for that, captain obvious. Go get your coat.” Harry walked towards the coat closet and tossed her coat to her. She looked at him.

“This isn't my coat...It's got tags on it.” She handed the huge Moncler black parka back to him. He slyly smiled at her. She shot him a glare. “You sneaky fuck. No, take it back.”

“Ellie, for fuck’s sake, it's not that big a deal-”

“Harry, this is a fucking $3000 coat. No. Take it back-” She shoved it towards him.

“I'm not taking it back, so I guess it's going to sit in my closet for the rest of forever.” He challenged her. She stared him down and finally sighed defeatedly. With a smile of triumph, he watched her put it on and smiled at how adorable she looked wrapped in it. It stopped at her knees and the fur hood swallowed her neck right up to her cheeks.

“I hate you. But … thank you,” she said sincerely. He smiled and pulled his trench on tightly with a scarf.

“Think of it like this, now I don't have to hear you bitch about the goddamn winter anymore. Cozy love?” He winked and she rolled her eyes, pulling on her snow boots. They walked out the door quietly and Harry grabbed her hand dragging her down the path. The wind whipped a bit and the sky was a dark purple.

“Harry, where the fuck are we going at 2am? If you take me to a bar, I’m telling your mom,” she complained next to him. He chuckled.

“Quit your bloody whining. God, woman,” Harry said from ahead of her. She so badly wanted to kick his leg out but stopped when she spotted a huge lit Christmas tree in a large clearing. Her mouth dropped.

“Holy shit,” she said, walking up to where Harry had stopped. He smiled to her eyes reflected the multi-colored lights. She noticed how far they had walked, and how wide apart the houses were spread. It was like a little town square. She slowly made her way closer. 

“This is incredible,” she whispered looking back at Harry. He smiled widely, his dimples indenting. Crap that's cute, she thought before turning back around.

They stood in silence for a couple of minutes, taking in the tall extravagant Christmas tree, the quiet of the town enveloping them with peace. Harry stood close, his shoulder touching Ellie. He glanced her way, just taking one more good look at this woman who flipped his fucking life around the moment he walked out of that small cafe. He knew in that moment, he needed her to stay in his life. No matter how, he just needed her there. To keep him sane. And grounded and normal.

“Happy Christmas, Ellanore,” he said softly. His eyes never left hers. She turned to him and rested smiled, resting her head against his arm.

“Merry Christmas, Harry,” she whispered back, the warmth of her against him sending pleasurable shivers down his spine.


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OK SO. Enjoy and i love you .

We Can’t Be Friends-14

 

 

Over the next few days, Harry brought Ellie everywhere he could think of that meant something to him. The bakery he used to work, his favorite record shop, even his old school grounds. Learning about him was so refreshing and so intriguing because he could tell her about his life here all he wanted but there was something about him when he showed her different things. She of course brought her camera to every new spot, every store and every restaurant. He promised to take her to London, and the commute wasn’t too bad. He took her to a couple of his favorite vintage shops and she couldn't help but laugh as he tried on some old pairs of colorful jeans.

“Oi, these were very fitting 8 years ago,” he said, examining his ass in a pair of black and white checkered skinny jeans.

“You’re just missing black eyeliner, nail polish and fishnet gloves,” she said snapping a pic and he laughed pulling them off and tossing them at her.

“Hey, England was very fashion forward,” he said pulling back on his normal black jeans.

“God, you should just fucking paint them on at this point. Those are like a second skin,” she said, folding the pair he tossed at her. He snorted.

“Haven't heard a complaint yet,” he muttered, stretching and walking out of the curtain dressing room.

“Shut the fuck up, ‘ARRY IS THAT YOU, MATE?” A deep accent echoed from behind a rack of clothes. Ellie turned around and spotted a guy walking towards them, Harry’s face lit up and they embraced tightly. “Fuck mate, haven't seen you around here in a minute!” He clapped him on the shoulder.

“Tyler, are you seriously still fucking working here?” Harry laughed, running a hand through his hair.

“Work here? Mate, I own half the place,” he said. His eyes landed on Ellie and his smile grew. “Oh shit, sorry, I’m Tyler.” He held out his hand and she took it with a smile.

“No worries, I’m Ellanore, nice to meet ya.”

“Blimey, snagged yourself an American girlfriend there, bud?” He winked at Harry.

“Oh, no man,” Harry began.

“Just friends.” Ellie clarified, holding her hands. Tyler's eyes suddenly changed and he sent her a wicked grin.

“Well, In that case, hi there,” he said, winking in her direction making her laugh.

“I’m gonna just go... yeah,” she said, giggling and walking away. Tyler looked back to Harry, whose demeanor suddenly flattened.

“So mate, bunch of us are having a New Years’ party. Come through? I’m sure the group would love to see you.” Harry had to admit he did miss his old friends. And it wouldn't be so bad. Tyler was always famous for his parties.

“Uh, sure man, I'll come. I’ll ask Ellie,” he said, smiling to his old friend. A night out with a bunch of his mates could be a good thing. Treating him normal for once.

 

He wasn't sure why, but aggravation was killing his appetite. He was sitting at an outdoor cafe with Ellie as she glanced over the menu. Harry instead was scrolling through Nadine’s fucking instagram feed, pictures popping up of her on the beach with a drink, a couple with her friends. A video of her dancing at a bar, surrounded by a bunch of guys. Trust. He had trust. And he was trying very fucking hard to keep it that way.

“You keep refreshing and you’re going to kill your battery.” Ellie didn't even look up from the menu and Harry sighed, throwing it on the table.

“How do you not even check in with your boyfriend at least once a day? I mean come on.” He leaned back in his chair and crossed his arms, pouting.

“Don’t do that, you’re gonna get wrinkles,” she said, eyes still flipping over the menu in her hand. He had to fight a laugh at how cute she looked completely confused by the French names and odd pricing.

“Need help love?” She raised an eyebrow at him.

“You speak French?” she asked cockily.

“Yes, fluently actually.” He took the menu and read over it. The waitress walked over and smiled at them both. And of course she spoke broken English, making Ellie guess what she was saying. Putting her out of her misery Harry ordered her a burger and fries, a glass of red wine and the ordered his house salad. The waitress nodded and returned with there drinks a moment later. Ellie sipped gingerly, her eyes not leaving Harry's.

“What's that about?” He asked, looking at her oddly.

“Nothing...” She said, licking her lip. “I bet if Nadine heard you speak French she'd woulda came here instead.” Harry snorted and then burst out laughing.

“Oh yeah? That turn you on a bit?” He waggled his eyebrows at her and she made a gag noise.

“Fuck no. French people smell.” Harry laughed a bit harder when suddenly two young teenage girls approached them. They smiled nervously.

“Hello there,” Harry said kindly. They said ‘hi’ back shly, before waving at Ellie who merrily waved back, a bit amused.

“Ehm, Mozhem li my poluchit' fotografiyu, pozhaluysta?” The blonde one asked expectantly. Harry's face dropped. Fuck. He did not know Russian. Ellie watched with pity as Harry made a face and tried to say he didn't understand.

“God you’re an idiot, she asked for a photo, dumbass,” Ellie said sipping her wine. Harry froze and his eyes widened.

“On s udovol'stviyem,” Ellie replied perfectly to them and they squeed a bit before pulling out their phones and taking a selfie.

“Spasibo!” The other one said before hugging him and they walked away giddily. Harry turned to Ellie, his eyes darkening a bit.

“You speak Russian,” he stated. Ellie shrugged.

“A bit yeah.” She licked her lip and put her glass down.

“Where'd you learn that?”

“Au pair number 2,” she said casually looking at him. “What's that face?”

“How many did you have?” She shifted uncomfortably under his hard stare.

“3. Till I turned 17.” She felt his hand curl into hers and tighten. No words. Just a comforting touch. She watched him smile at her before the waitress returned with there food and they began to eat. Even though they barely spoke for the rest of the dinner and on the way back, it was comfortable silence. Harry would never force her to talk about her family. She barely mentioned them ever, and from what he'd learned the past months, they weren't very prominent in her life. She was a very independent girl. Harry kind of liked that about her. But he had this deep need to take care of her also. Especially when she took care of everyone around her all the time.

 

She spoke again on their way home from London. Her eyes were carefully watched the open fields as they drove through the country.

“When I was six, my mom remarried,” she said so quietly, Harry almost missed it. “He wasn't a bad man, he just wasn't my dad. He took care of my mom, though. He's a lawyer. He bought her everything she wanted, she even had more kids.” Her voice shook, and without thinking, Harry took her cold hand in his and intertwined their fingers. “ From then on, she just... expected me to be different. Expected more from me because of our status. I barely saw her after they got married. He'd take her everywhere, vacations, work functions. She hired au pairs for me and my siblings, like she didn't really want to be bothered with me anymore.” Her grip tightened in his. “When I told them I was going to art school, we got into a huge fight. Told me if I left, don't come back because I was throwing my life away.” Harry's heart clenched. What his mom said the other day now made more sense.

“Sometimes I feel like I made a mistake walking out.” He turns to see her try and hide her face and calm down with a big inhale.

“You didn't.” When he speaks, Ellie turns to him, her eyes glassy. “Your art is what makes you you. A lot of times people won't understand that, but it's their problem, not yours. The things you create are… beautiful, Ellie.” She gave a small smile and turns back towards the window. “I hope you know you're not alone.” With that, he felt her squeeze his hand, almost making sure it was real.

“That means a lot to me… thank you.” When she says thank you, he's pretty sure it's just an all around statement. A thank you for his support and his friendship. He can't help but hate the people that put doubt in her beautiful mind. He couldn't imagine what it'd feel like to have his family against him because of his passions. In that moment, he made a promise to build her up as much as he could. She should never feel guilty for doing something she loved.

 

 

On December 31st, Ellie slipped on her black heels and smiled at her reflection. For once, she felt a bit more confident in her appearance. The other night when she told Harry about her family, she felt a weight lift from her she hadn't felt in a long time. She was always comfortable around him, but she had feared that he would just pity her. Instead, he reassured her that she did the right thing that day.

“You are going to freeze.” Ellie jumped a bit not noticing Harry leaning against the doorframe. He was chewing on a freshly-baked cookie.

“Anne’s going to kill you, those were for her party tonight,” Ellie said, rolling her eyes and fixing her lipstick in the mirror. “You know, since I’ve met you, I’ve worn more dresses then I have my entire life.” Harry laughed.

“No one’s objecting that love.” His eyes trailed along her legs, right over her backside. Normally she’d feel like a bug under a microscope, but when Harry looked her over like that, she felt her skin tingle and her heart rate increase. “C'mon we're gonna be late, it's already 10pm.” She rolled her eyes.

“You gonna wear big boy clothes or are you going like you just rolled out of bed?” She said, grabbing her coat and walking past him, taking in his relaxed appearance.

“Big boy clothes, want to pick ‘em out for me please?” He begged, a childish pout on those perfect fucking lips. Ellie gave in reluctantly and headed for his room.

“You’re lucky I like you.” She grumbled, going through some of his outfits he brought. He walked up behind her and hugged her tightly.

“Thanks, small one.” She wacked his arm and he chuckled. “Sorry, vertically challenged one. Better?”  
She handed him a nice pair of black skinny jeans, with a navy sweater that she secretly adored on him. He changed and they headed to the car.

 

At first, Ellie had been hesitant going to one of Harry's friends parties. Shed never really been to a real party like this and she felt like she'd be out of place. Harry just grinned at her and told her that shed fit right in. Especially with his Holmes Chapel friends. So as they approached the rather large mansion house, Harry smiled widely excited to his friends after so many years. He punched in a gate code and as they car wound up the long driveway Ellie shifted in her seat.

“Will you relax? I promise it's not what you think.” Reading her mind. They parked next to what looked like a parking lot with 20 different cars. The place was huge, large arches holding up the front. A couple of steps winding to the massive front door. Ellie could hear the loud music blasting and she quickly grabbed Harry’s hand. He laughed a bit and pulled her close. Harry's rings wrapped against the wood and the door swung open revealing tons of people and Tyler, who already looked trashed. Harry was right. It wasn't what she expected. No one was fancy and prepped up. In fact, it looked more like a frat party.

“OI, LOOK WHO DECIDED TO SHOW THEIR FACE!” Harry and Tyler embraced and he clapped Harry on the back. “Hello to you, Ms. All American.” He winked and hugged her gently. “Shall we get fuckin smashed then?” He said, leading them towards the bar area. A huge screen was set up in the large living room and the countdown was on. One hour.

“Brian!” Harry exclaimed spotting another of his old friends. He greeted a few more people who were sitting around his friend Brian. There was a blonde named Adam and two girls, Olivia and Laura. As Harry hugged them all, their eyes went to Ellie.

“And who’s this lovely young bird?” Adam asked, sliding his way over toward her. She flushed a bit and smiled.

“Everyone, this is Ellanore,” Harry said, as he slowly snaked his arm around her waist. Okay, weird, she thought.

“Ah, so you snagged an American as your girl, mate?” Brian said, nudging Harry a bit.

“No, no, no, we uh, were not-” Ellie tried to explain.

“Together,” Harry finished.

“ Oh, well, in that case...” Adam winked towards her as she laughed.

“How long have you and Harry been friends?” The brunette girl, Olivia spoke.

“Round 7 or 8 months,” Ellie said sipping from a red solo cup Adam had put in her hand.

“Yeah, she ripped me apart at a coffee shop.” Harry chugged a bit of his booze as his guy friends whooped a bit. “Not like that, you twats.”

 

Turns out Harry’s friends were a prime example of what he'd missed about england and his life before one direction. A little normalcy where he'd get teased and ragged on is kind of what he needed. Just like Ellie had been. Harry downed shot after shot as the clock struck down. He watched Ellie do the same, his old friends feeding her just as much alcohol as him. He noticed Olivia smiling wickedly in his direction. It had been awhile since they'd seen each other, and god, she got even more hot since he’d left. But even as his mind went to 'that' night, his eyes were all for the quirky efervescent girl currently shaking her ass next to him to some weird pop song from the 90s his friends had put on. He laughed as she tipped back her red solo cup and watched her let loose.

 

“I should stop,” she said when she put down the cup and looked over to him.

“Fuck no, you shouldn't,” Adam said.

“Guys, the last time I got wasted, I was in a bar fight.” She swayed a bit on her feet and Harry immediately held her waist pulling her to him, holding her up. Her skin was warm against him, and she looked even better with her hair free from that bun she had it up in earlier. In fact, he liked her a bit messy. Her heels thrown on the couch, her dress straps falling off her shoulders a bit. Her tattoos peeked out from that short dress. Fuck. Calm down.

“A brawl? Fuck mate, are they all as wild as she is in the states?” Tyler said, grinning widely over to Ellie.

“No, I just happen to the crazy ass one percent,” she said as Brian handed her an unopened beer. She thanked him. “Shit, bottle opener?”

“Where's it at?” Adam asked, looked around.

“No worries.” She banged it on the side of table and it popped open. They all laughed.

“Alright Harry, I want one.” Brian laughed as Laura leaned over and smacked him in the back of the head. Clearly, they were a thing, or at least trying to be. She had been weary of Ellie at first, but when she noticed Harry eyeing her all night she seemed to feel less threatened.

“Sorry, found her first.” Harry squeezed her waist a little possessively and she looked up at him. Something in her eyes darkened and he notice her stare on his lips. As the night went on, the more drinks they had. Harry was a handsy drunk, but he had to admit, Ellie was a close second. He’d only ever seen her pissed off when she was inherbirated, but this... He had found her dancing on one of the tables to a rap song playing in the background. His friends all laughed with her, pointing and banging on the table by her feet. She looked like a rockstar in her element and he couldn't help but smile at how beautiful she looked carefree.

“OI! One minute!” Someone screamed from the living room and everyone began to pile in. He watched as Ellie stopped dancing and tried to get down. He walked over and put his hands out to her and she gave him a drunken smile and jumped into his open arms. He caught her and slowly let her to her feet only to have her knees give out. He quickly wrapped his arms around her waist and held her up as she giggled loudly, falling into him. People began to count down.

“Shit, no more shots,” she said, slightly slurred. Harry’s eyes couldn't leave hers. For some reason, he just wanted to tear off that damn dress with his teeth, and kiss every inch of her. His thoughts took him to what she must sound like when someone properly loves her, and what those beautiful swollen lips would sound like with his name rolling off them. “What? Is my makeup fucked up?” She said trying to wipe at her eyes.

“N-No,” he said, swallowing a bit.

“15!” Brian screamed.

He gulped. Stop it, Harry. Stop looking at her like that.

“14!”

“Holy crap.” She squinted and looked at him closer, her breath smelled like peach schnapps. Thank you, Adam! She probably tasted like a tropical drink. “Your eyes are so friggin green... like an Irish meadow.” She began to giggle again.

“Thank you. I’ll remember that one when you throw your next insult at me.” He smirked.

“13!”

“Excuse you, fuck boy, you insult me wayyyy more,” she said, trying pull away. But he couldn't let her go, one because she could barely stand and two because... she felt so right in his arms. Like she was supposed to be there forever.

“That so?” He egged her on, cheekily grinning.

“12!”

“Yeah, that is so. But like, I’m a catch, bitch. Boys should just like beg me to date them.” She rambled on laughing in between words. “I mean look at this, I’m a snack.”

“11!”

Harry burst out laughing.

“A what?!” He couldn't help it. Alcohol was completely in control at this point.

“A snack, ya know. Like dudes should just want to eat me. I'm like... I'm like a twinkie. Dudes fucking love that,” she said, poking his dimples. Suddenly, she covered her face. “Fuckkkk. Stop that.”

“10!”

Harry tried to pull her hands away from her face.

“9!”

“Stop what?” He said, still chuckling. She refused to pull them away though, groaning a bit. He heard her mumble something. “What was that, love?”

“7!”

“6!”

“I saiddddd,” She looked up. “Stop with the dimple thing... you’re fucking killing me.” Harry froze, his hands still gripping her wrists. That's when he saw it. It was like a green light he'd been waiting for. Or at least he thought so. Because her eyes were glued to his and he felt a spark. Something electric coursed through his veins.

“What dimple thing? You mean me smiling?” Now he was being cocky. He smiled as big as he could and he watched her melt. Her tongue darting over her chapped lips, biting the bottom one between her teeth. Christ.

“4!”

“Y-yeah. That.” He pulled her closer to his chest, refusing to break their gaze.

“3!”

“Why Ellie?” He whispered so she could only hear it. He heard her breath catch, her eyes now wandering down his neck, towards his chest. “Look at me, Elleanore.” She did as he said.

“2!”

“B-because...” Her small voice trailed off.

He took a deep breath. Now was not the time to think twice. Even though he should have. He probably should've thought this through. Maybe played out the consequences of his next actions. But her perfume was a poison, clouding his mind. Her lips were tempting like a drug he needed to try just once. He leaned forward, waiting for her to pull back. To say no. To give him a reason not to continue. His large hands slowly wound there way gently to the back of her head, through her messy curls. She wasn't moving, though. He hovered a moment, his eyes closing. This was her chance. And she stood stock still. He wanted to lose himself in this mystery girl that had ultimately stole his heart the moment she told him ‘fuck you’ at that damn cafe.

“1! HAPPY NEW YEAR!” Cheers echoed around them. And in that moment, he pressed his lips to hers. She stiffened, not shoving him away as he dove into intoxication. He felt her lips open a bit and then she was kissing back. But not just kissing. She pressed herself into his chest and he played with her lips with his tongue a moment. She let out the most beautiful and small sound that went straight to his dick. A soft moan of relief and pleasure? God. Were those fireworks? Harry thought. It may have been midnight, a new year, But this? This kiss stopped time. It stopped their worlds completely. He felt her hands on the back of his neck and chills set down his spine.

30 seconds. The kiss lasted 30 seconds. And when they pulled away, he looked at her. Waiting for her to say something. Instead, she stood there eyeing him like she’d been waiting so long to do that. Then he lost her. Guilt. Her face was full of it. She covered her mouth and shook her head slightly.

“Harry...” She said softly. He could see how unsure and confused she became in the next 15 seconds. Before he could get a word out, he watched her run from him. His heart didn't break and he wasn't hurt. But he was sorry. Sorry because he just kissed her and most likely fucked up there friendship. But he wouldn't have done it if he didn’t see how she was looking at him.

“ELLANORE, WAIT!” He finally snapped back fast enough to run after her. He noticed her shoes were gone and her jacket. Fuck. He ran into the snow, ignoring his friends calling after him.

He made it down the driveway and saw her, wobbling her way towards his house. Her head down and snow pelting at her head. God, she was gonna freeze. He ran towards her.

“Ellie, please--I’m sorry--” He began as he finally approached her. She stopped and looked up, eyes red from the cold tears running down her face. “Please, we need to talk.”

“Why?” One word. And it held so much.

“ I... Because.” He remembered just how drunk he was and how drunk she had been, even though that kiss had sobered them both up pretty well. He was a bit dizzy and couldn't drive. The house was probably a good 20 minute walk. He fucked up.

 

Ellie tried to run, but the cold air was vicious. How dare he. How fucking dare he. But also, why. Why did he have to ruin this... weird fucking friendship. She had convinced herself that that was all they could be. From the moment in the kitchen, when she said they couldn't be friends. She knew it. Because she knew she was going to fall for him. And she knew she couldn't have him. She wasn't on his level in the slightest. Nerdy, angsty, and broke. She was lucky anyone wanted her. And here he is, just fucking kissing her, all romantically at the stroke of fucking midnight like some fucked up fairytale she tried to avoid. This was set up to fail. She knew it. Not only did he have a girlfriend, but she was a goddess. That's who needed in his arms. Not her. She heard him approach from behind, calling out to her.  
She stopped. Partly because her feet were fucking killing her, and partly because.. her fucking heart was obnoxious and needed to know. Stupid feelings.

“ Please, we need to talk,” he said, out of breath. She glared at him, tears streaming down her neck. Fuck, when did she start crying? Her voice would betray her if she started to talk. And so would her fucking heart.

“ Why?” That's all he needed and that's all she was gonna give him. Why. Why now? Why would you want to fucking play with me? Why why why?

“I...Because.” That's it? All he had was because? She turned without another word and headed back towards his house. She was changing her flight as soon as she walked in that door. This needed to end. Now. Because she wasn't going to be a side piece. She wasn't going to be his dirty secret. And she knew if she stayed, whatever would happen between them would end back in New York. And she knew something like that would break her apart.


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yall are the serious best. Comments literally light me up and i love it thank you <3

The airport was quiet. Mostly because everyone who was leaving would be doing it the next day after the holidays. Not on the actual night of the holidays. Ellie waited in her leggings and sweatshirt, her hair still messy and her makeup washed away from the previous 4 hours. As soon as she got back, she packed. She called an uber and ran. Because that's all she knew how to do now. Run. Run from her family. Run from her past. And now run from him. He had been blowing up her phone. Her flight was in 20 minutes. She was about to board and leave behind whatever just happened, praying that when she woke up tomorrow in New York, she wouldn't have to deal with this. Things could go back to normal. If she tried hard enough, that is.

“4:30 to JFK AIRPORT NOW BOARDING.” Her phone continued to blow up. Some of them were holiday texts from her friends wishing her a happy new year. Most of them were from Harry. His number appearing every 5 minutes. She hit airplane mode as she sunk down in the window seat. She was facing her fear of flying just to escape this. His flight was in 9 hours. She’d be home by then, hopefully wrapped in her blanket watching Netflix.

 

Harry hugged his mom tightly and then his sister. Both of them giving him pity looks. Gemma said Ellie had called her an hour ago when she landed and apologized a hundred times for her sudden exit. Of course she'd do that. Because even if she was avoiding Harry, and pissed as fuck, she'd still be the polite girl and thank his family for hosting her. Gemma, of course, assured her it was alright and they would see each other when she’d visit New York in a couple of months.

“Harry,” His mom stopped him as he began to walk out. He turned to her. He wasn't crying and he wasn't hurt still. But he was going to make this right. As soon as he got to New York, he was breaking up with Nadine. Ellie or no Ellie, those posts on her Instagram had broken his heart just a bit. Ellie was right. As usual. Any girl who would chose a friend vacation over spending the holidays with their boyfriend wasn't a real love. Just another false relationship waiting for the real thing. Turns out his real thing was currently fuming pissed at him because his dumb ass chose that moment to show her.

“Mum, I’m fine.”

“Harry, give her time. She's confused.” His mum's hand rested on his cheek as she kissed his forehead. “She loves you. She just doesn't understand it yet.” And that's true. Because she looked completely torn after that kiss. First she looked relieved and almost euphoric. Then she broken down.

“I’ll be lucky if she even answers my texts,” he grumbled before getting into the town car. He waved goodbye to his family and headed for the airport.

 

 

 

Moping wasn't Ellie’s strong suit. Mostly because she'd forget things. Important things. Like when her shifts at work started, or to take her medicine. But these last 7 days without Harry, were physically straining her. She wasn't herself. She didn't bother dressing up anymore. Back to her normal ripped jeans and old shirts. She basically said fuck makeup, only just getting by with some cover up under her dark eyes. School would be starting up in a couple of weeks, that would take her mind off this. 

God, she missed him. She missed his stupid sense of humor, and how she had someplace to go when she was pissed and needed a rant. And she really needed one, but the rant would be over him. She missed his laugh and how it was so contagious no matter what stupid joke he popped. Was she being stupid? Was she seriously pushing this amazing guy away because she was so self-depleting? Yes. Because she was raised like that. She believed minimal hope was best and it avoided hurt. He was an amazing guy who deserved a prize girl in his world. Not some mentally fucked up struggling artist who doubted herself.

“Get up.” Kaia was standing at her door, the lights were off and her music played softly next to her. It had been her third day in bed. Her next shift wasn't for another two days.

“No. I like my bed,” she said, covering her face.

“Get the fuck up before I drag you out of here. Clair and Anna are about to help me,” she threatened. They’d known something was wrong. As soon as she got in, she dropped her stuff in her room and locked the door. Having a good cry was therapeutic. But that's all it was. Just a cry. It didn't solve anything.

“I’m tired. Just leave me alone,” she said with a groan. Suddenly a pair of hands wrapped around her ankles and she yelped as Kaia and Clair hauled her into the living room, dragging her down the hall, where she held tight to her comforter. They could drag all they wanted, but she was staying pantless and in this damn t-shirt. They dropped her in the living room and she could see them standing with their arms crossed. “You guys suck.”

“Whatever is bothering you is obviously big. I’m assuming it has to do with Harry.” Kaia was pissed.

“You don't need to tell us, Ellie, but you need to stop this. You’re literally destroying yourself.” Anna sounded sad. Fuck. She was affecting people around her again.

“The last time we saw you like this was...” Clair didn't want to finish the sentence. Because the last time she began self-destruct mode was when her parents told her to never come back. She’d hid it well, but it was too much. Too much mentally. Her panic attacks came back full force and Kaia dragged her right to a psych.

“I’m not... I’m not self destructing okay? I’m just... being emo. I’ll get over it,” Ellie mumbled standing up and heading back to her room. “I was fine before him. I’ll be fine after him.” With that, she shut the door and left her friends confused.

 

Two weeks. God, fourteen fucking days and not a word. He’d stopped calling, stopped texting. His mom was right. She needed space. But for how long? He missed her. He missed her walking in his home unannounced. He missed her at the studio hanging about and chatting with his band and bringing him her weird coffee concoctions. He missed the way she'd sit at the end of his couch and watch him, while drawing in her sketch pad or taking a random photo. His eyes landed on her painting. He immediately had it framed and hung right above the couch. He cherished it with his whole heart, knowing how much it must've took her to give it to him.

True to his word, he managed to meet up with Nadine and end it.

“Nadine, I can't do this,” he said softly as she looked a taken aback. He was waiting for her to throw her drink in his face. Most of his breakups ended like that. Or with a slap in the face.

“Excuse me? Why, because I didn't go on some stupid vacation with you? Your seriously done?” She was getting progressively louder. He thanked god he didn't do it in a public place.

“It’s not some stupid vacation for fuck’s sake. I asked to spend the holidays with my girlfriend and you chose to get boozed up in Mexico with your friends. Not to mention the numerous photos of you hanging about with a bunch of pricks.” And there was the underlying anger. He knew the dam would break sometime. Sorry Nadine, guess you’re getting the brunt of it, he thought.

“Are you fucking kidding me? What you don't trust me?! Thats bullshit!” She stood abruptly. Harry stood up and crossed his arms, holding his ground. God, he was such a hypocrite. “You know what, fuck you!” She angrily grabbed her bag and headed for the door. “AND YOU KNOW WHAT, ASSHOLE, I DID SLEEP WITH ONE OF THEM!”. He knew it. The door slammed and he should've felt hurt. He should've been upset. But no. He felt... free.

So here he was, laying on the couch staring up at the ceiling of his apartment. He had done a couple of press appointments for work, went to the studio a couple of times, but everyone could see he was off. Jeff confronted him the fourth day and he let it out. It was word vomit really and he couldn't stop rattling on about her. Because he tried to move on. And two weeks wasn't exactly a lot of time, but it's because he didn't know how to move on. Being without her... it was ruining him. And it was all his fault. The guilt was killing him.

His phone buzzed next to him. He picked it up and his face scrunched up in confusion. He hit the green button.

 

“Lo'?” He asked groggily.

“Harry, I’m in town, mate. Wanna grab a pint?” Fuck it, why not. Maybe a venting session from an outsider would be more helpful.

“Yeah, text me a place I’ll head over.” He got up and attempted to get decently dressed.

 

So sitting in a pub, in lower Manhattan was how he was spending his Saturday night. Liam on his right, as he finished off his second whiskey and coke. He had just finished his rant, his eyes forward not bothering to look at his friend.

“Shit man, you've got it bad,” Liam said, sipping his drink and staring at his friend.

“Liam, I fucked so bad. She won't answer my calls, texts, nothing. I can't even seem to catch her at work.” He rubbed at his face in frustration.

“You did. You fucked massive. But... she's afraid. Maybe she's nervous because she's never felt like this for someone. I mean. You’re pretty intimidating.” Harry rolled his eyes.

“Am not.” He started to say as the door opened and he made eye contact with blue eyes and blonde hair.

“Lads! How're yeh?” Niall’s Irish brogue sounded through the empty tavern. Liam smiled and patted his friend on the back. “Long time no see, fuckers, how yeh been?” He sat on Harry’s left and clapped his shoulder. “You look like shite, man, what happened?” Niall looked over to Liam.

“He's in love,” Liam explained as Harry ordered his fourth drink. “Mate, you need a night out.”

“Isn't that what we’re doin’?” He grumbled from his arms.

“No, you need gorgeous women and good alcohol,” Liam said winking at him. Come on down that and let's go.” Harry sighed. He wasn't wrong. But he wasn't exactly dressed for any privy high end place. “I’ve got a club appearance, I’m sure they'd love to see us lot walk in there. Prob piss ‘emselves.” Niall laughed as they made there way out the door.

“Let’s take your car--” Harry started. His words were already slurring, but if it meant forgetting the shitty last two weeks, he was gonna let his friends handle that. “Dale, you can go, mate. We’re gonna catch an uber.” Dale looked hesitant before nodding.

“If you need anything, call,” he said sighing and driving off. Liam called his driver and they all piled into the back.

 

God, her bed was nice. Ellie had been picking up every shift she could at the cafe, with school starting next week, she needed it all she could get. It also helped with the distractions. Her shift ended two hours ago and curling up in her blankets was everything. And then there was a buzz. Ugh. Fuck no.

“Who the fuck is ringing our bell at fuckin 2am, I swear to god,” Kaia said angrily from across the hall. “ELLIE, IT’S ALL YOU!”

“Fuck no, whoever it is deserves to freeze for waking us up,” Ellie said, groaning. Probably one of their annoying ass neighbors forgetting their keys. And then it kept ringing until Ellie growled and threw off the covers. The fuck. She padded through the living room and pressed the open button before heading back to her bed.

A minute passed before she heard banging on the door. Seriously?

“I’M COMING, DAMN IT!” She screamed, throwing her hair up. Kaia, Anna, and Clair all followed her out of their rooms, clearly as pissed off as her. She opened the door and her face paled. No fucking way. This was a nightmare. Wake up. WAKE UP.

Harry raised an eyebrow before looking at her up and down, a cocky smirk on his face.

“Ello' ello'” He said, those fucking dimples popping through. He swayed a bit before the guy who was holding him up smiled to Ellie sheepishly.

“What the fuck are you doing here?” She said coldly, crossing her arms.

“Ehm, sorry, you must be Ellanore. I’d uh, shake your hand, love, but he’s a bit heavy.” He looked at her expectantly. God, this was something she was going to regret. She moved aside, letting them walk in.

“Am not, I’m skinny as fuck, mate- You’re just jealous of my meaty thighs--Oh look, more ladies!” Ellie watched her roomates faces drop in shock. This wasn't exactly how she imagined them meeting Harry, but at this point, she couldn’t give a fuck.

“I’m uhm, Liam by the way.” He let go of Harry, who managed to stand up. His eyes all over Ellie, a goofy smile on his face. She nodded to him.

“Ellie,” she said politely. Poor guy was probably dragged here.

“See, told you she was beautiful, Liam...” Harry said, leaning against her. She caught him before he dropped and he closed his eyes and nestled his head on her. “Mmm, you smell like that lavender bath soap- I like tha’ one,” he slurred a bit, relaxing.

“Jesus, how much did he drink?” Ellie asked. Fuck, he was cute when he was drunk- NO that's how you ended up in this fucking situation. He wrapped his arms around her neck and cuddled into her. She rolled her eyes and patted his back.

“A bit, we’ve had ‘em out since 10.” Liam rubbed the back of his neck.

“We?” Ellie asked, a little angry. “Harry, stop playing with my hair--What do you mean we?”

“ Well, Me and Niall--although I believe Niall’s still at the club... I hope.” He looked around and frowned.

“Mmm, your hair smells pretty. Why you so gorgeous--So beautiful, pet.” Harry said into her neck. Oh my god. This was not fucking happening. Shit, he was falling. She grabbed him and held him by his waist.

“Why are you here? Why didn't you just take him back to his appartment?” She asked gritting her teeth. He needed his damn bed, not her. Especially not like this.

“ Well--” Liam began, but Harry stopped him. He grabbed ellie's face and looked at her dead in the eye, wobbling from side to side.

“ Cause' I wanted my Ellie' and I told ‘em to get me my Ellie,'” he said as he leaned forward and rested his forehead on hers. Jesus Christ, he smelled like the bottom of a bar.

“Is no one going to address the fact that Harry fucking Styles is in our living room or...?” Kaia asked. Ellie closed her eyes. Fuck, she forgot they were standing here. Liam must have too, because he turned to Kaia and his eyes lit up a bit. He leaned forward and put his hand out.

“Liam, pleasure to meet you,” he said as she hesitantly took his hand.

“Wait. Ellie. Harry... HARRY AS IN HARRY FUCKING STYLES?” Clair shouted with realization.

“Tha’ would be me!” Harry said, snuggling into Ellie again. Goddamn it, stop that.

“Uh, yeah...” she turned back to Liam.“ Why are you not at his apartment again?”

“Oh! Right, well... paps are swarming it actually at the moment.” Ellie tilted her head in confusion.

“You know, the whole breaking up with Nadine nonsense.” Her heart stopped and she froze. He broke up with her? What the fuck?

“H-he .. he what?” She said shakily.

“Yeah, broke up with her the day he got home actually... press must've just got word.” He rubbed the back of his neck.

“Yeh,” Harry said with a sigh. “You were right. You always are.” He poked her nose and she swatted at his hand.

“Why would you do that?” She asked him in disbelief. But Harry didn't respond, he instead wrapped his arms around her and buried further into her neck.

“He begged me to bring him here...” Liam said suddenly. Of course he did. Because she was his safety net. She knew that. The moment he started sharing everything he never said to anyone else, the moments he could just be around her, silence not awkward. With a sigh, she rubbed her face tiredly.

“I needed you.” Harry’s words were so soft and quiet, had he not been right next to her ear, she wouldn't have heard. Her heart clenched and her mouth went dry. Fuck. They were going to have discussion. But right now he needed to sleep off this fucking booze cruise.

“Alright, let me just get him to bed--” Ellie started and Harry immediately perked up sloppily walking towards her room.

“‘m not tha’ easy love, your gon' have to wine and dine me first,” he said with a wink. He playfully patted her butt and she had to fight a smile instead pulling him into her room.

“Ha ha, fuckhead. Get undressed, I don't want your dirty clothes in my damn bed. You smell like shit,” she said, walking out and closing the door. Okay, situation one handled.

“He can stay here. You can too, if you'd like. I mean we have a pull out couch--” Suddenly, a buzzing sounded again. “For fuck’s sake,” she said, groaning and hitting the ‘open’ button.

“No, its alright, I’d rather not impose,” he said shyly. Ellie shook her head.

“Are there paps at your hotel?” She said, raising an eyebrow.

“Ehm... yes?” He said, looking to the ground.

“Pull out couch. It's not the Marriott, but it's a good night sleep to sober up.” She turned to her friends, all of whom were still shocked.

“So, you’ve been... best friends with Harry Styles... and I've been whoring you up for Harry fucking Styles?” Clair's eyes were lighting up.

“Gee thanks, I didn't know you were calling it whoring up-” Ellie crossed her arms.

“I mean, yea know... you need to get laid.”

“Okay so, we never met him. And.. you’re... best friends with Harry Styles,” Kaia said trying to come to terms with what was happening. “It’s like 3am, I’m way too fucking tired to deal with this so... tomorrow.”

There was a loud knocking again and Ellie groaned aggravatedly, stomping over and opening the door. Her eyes widened.

“Seriously?” She said as Niall smiled widely and leaned on the door.

“Didn't know it was a party, lads. I’m Niall. How’re you, love?” He said, holding his hand out.

“Niall, stop being a shit, piss off. ” Harry said from the doorway of Ellie's room, standing in nothing but his boxers. Ellie sighed and pinched the bridge of her nose.

“Jesus Christ.” She sighed.

“Oi, nice cock, put that away, there are ladies present,” he said, chuckling. Ellie walked towards her room and glared at Harry, shoving him backwards and closing the door again.

“Go to sleep!” She turned.

“Let me guess, you’re on the run from the paparazzi too?” She said, raising an eyebrow.

“How'd you know?” He said, laughing a bit.

“I’ll take him!” Clair said, raising her hand. Niall looked over to her and smiled.

“Sold! Night, Liam, loves!” He said before Clair took his hand and bid us goodnight. Ellie rolled her eyes.

“She’s gonna eat him alive. Anyway, you’re in luck, Kaia makes bomb ass hangover breakfasts,” Ellie said. Anna went to the closet to get Liam a blanket and pillows as Ellie and Kaia pulled out the bed.

“You uh, gonna be alright with him in there?” Liam asked slightly embarrassed. Ellie laughed.

“Yeah, he just gets really affectionate when he's drunk. It's all good. I've handled it before.” Liam nodded with a smile.

“Thank you. I really appreciate all this.” He said with sincerity. He turned to Kaia. “I apologize for waking you all up.” His eyes locked on her and she gulped. Ellie could tell she wanted to bite his head off, no one interrupts her sleep, but her eyes were soft when she smiled and nodded.

“Breakfasts at 10am,” she said, giving him a little wave and walking back to her room.

 

Ellie opened her door a bit and noticed Harry sprawled out on her bed. His eyes were closed and she prayed he was asleep. But when has her luck ever been so good. She laid down and he opened his eyes slowly, a drunk smile on his lips.

“Ello little one,” he whispered.

“I’m still mad at you, asshole,” she grumbled, closing her eyes, avoiding looking at him. He pouted.

“Too mad for a cuddle?” he begged. Fuck no.

“Yes, dick. Go to sleep.” She turned her back to him, because had she took one more look at his face, she would’ve caved without the much-needed fight. Sleeping was turning into more of task at this point. She tossed and turned for a good hour. Suddenly, she felt a warm hand rubbing her back and she relaxed. Harry's touch always calmed her, although she would probably never admit it. And of course as he rubbed her back, she knocked out within minutes.


	16. Chapter 16

He’s had hangovers but this was fucking terrible. Harry groaned and turned over, noticing his bed was empty. He frowned and sudden realization hit him. Fuck. Not his room. But it smelled familiar. Like lavender and sandalwood. His eyes landed on wall in front of him. Okay, this was... Ellie's room. Oh fuck. Ellie. He groggily pulled himself from the warm bed and padded towards the kitchen. Voices could be heard coming from the room. Sitting at the table was Liam and a girl he assumed to be Anna. He rubbed at his face, trying to wake up. His body felt heavy as he sank into the kitchen chair.

“Morning lad, how you feeling?” Liam asked, sipping from a white mug. The fuck is Liam still doing here? Oh god. He must've dragged him here last night.

“Shit, I‘m sorry,” he mumbled with his head still in his hands, embarrassed. Liam clapped him on the back.

“S'all right man, got a good breakfast out of it.” Liam smiled over to Kaia who was currently finishing the last of the pancakes. She turned around and gave Harry a glare before pouring him coffee.

He smiled up at her thankfully but she simply stayed giving him the deadliest look.

“You must be Kaia,” Harry said with a flirty smile trying to get her to ease up. But no chance. Which was fine, she was defensive of her best friend. He understood. “God, what ehm... happened last night?”

“You mean aside from you declaring your undying love to Ellie--” Kaia began nonchalantly. Harry choked on his coffee and coughed.

“What?!” He sputtered. He looked worriedly between the two before Kaia snorted.

“Kidding,” she said, sitting down. “But if I were you, prepare yourself. She’s not exactly pleased,” she said, sipping from her cup. He cursed and once again rubbed his head.

“How bad?” He asked through his hands.

“Pretty fucked mate,” Niall appeared behind them, smiling brightly. Niall? Didn't they leave him at some point?

“When the hell did you get here?” Harry asked, confused.

“Last night, dipped at the club and decided to see if you lot were all right,” he said, nudging Harry's arm.

“Christ. This is so fucked,” he muttered, completely embarrassed. What had he said to her last night? It couldn't be that bad if she let him in. And let him stay. He looked down. Let him stay whilst also being half naked in his boxer-briefs.

“Looks like you’re still clothed, I’m assuming Clair didn't jump your bones the moment you got into bed last night,” Kaia said, not looking up from her phone. Niall laughed a bit.

“Nah, we ended up cuddlin'. She's pretty good at it,” he said with a wink. Liam rolled his eyes as Clair emerged from her room. She sat next to Niall and kissed his cheek.

“Morning, troublemaker,” she said to Harry, stealing a pancake from the middle dish.

“It can't seriously be that bad,” he said, looking at all of them. They all looked away sheepishly. Suddenly the front door opened and Ellie walked in with a brown bag.

“They only had plain, so I-” Her eyes landed on Harry and her smile fell. “Well, well, look who finally decided to wake up,” she said, dropping the bag of bagels on the counter. Okay, guess this wasn't gonna wait till after breakfast.

“Ellanore,” Harry said, sighing. “I .. We.. Can we talk?”

“I’m listening.” She crossed her arms, waiting for him to begin.

“I’m.. I’m sorry,” he said, standing up, still feeling like death. She didn't care, though, she'd probably punch him out. And the way she was eyeing him, it seemed like a good chance that was gonna happen.

“Sorry forrrr... what? Kissing me on New Years or fucking showing up here shitfaced at 2 am this morning?!” Her voice was getting louder with each word. Harry winced at the volume of her voice, his head still throbbing. He glanced around the table, everyone awkwardly shifting in their seats.

“Can we talk outside--” He said, trying to reason with her.

“Fuck no, say what you want to say right now or you can get out,” she said defensively. God, she was so frustrating like this.

“Wait- You two fucking kissed? Ellie, is this what you've been emo about for the past 2 weeks?” Kaia asked.

“Fuck, I’m sorry, alright?! I didn't know kissing you that night was going to make you loathe me so fucking much!” He was going to regret raising his voice later, but right now he needed to get his point across. They hadn't fought like this. Yelling and anger boiling over. He feared he wouldn't say something he'd regret.

“I DON'T HATE YOU, DAMN IT! I’M TRYING TO- TO- UGH, FUCK, YOUR SO-” She couldn't even finish her thoughts. She wanted to punch him in his perfect face, try and get her point across someway without finding words. She was never good with words.

“THEN WHY THE FUCK HAVE YOU BEEN AVOIDING ME, HMM? YOU LEFT THAT NIGHT, REMEMBER? CLEARLY YOU HAVE SOME ILL WILL TOWARDS ME-”

“HARRY, YOU FUCKING KISSED ME! YOU HAD A GIRLFRIEND, DAMN IT!” She angrily got in his face, poking his hard chest with her black painted nail.

“IS THAT THE ONLY REASON YOU’RE AGAINST ME KISSING YOU?! BECAUSE I WAS WITH NADINE?” He said, grabbing her wrist and pulling it away from him. She paused and looked down trying to avoid his harsh gaze. “Answer me, Ellanore.” He growled through his gritted teeth.

“YES! No! I don't- fuck-” She ripped her hand away and he saw her tug at her hair.

“Is it a yes or a no, for fuck’s sake!?” He threw his hands up. “Had I been without her, would that kiss... would it have upset you?!” She was quiet, clearly trying to figure out an escape plan because she was trapped by his words. She inhaled deeply and turned to him.

“Does it fucking matter at this point? If we forget it-”

“No, I refuse to forget it,” Harry said challenging her. She groaned and covered her face.

“Why the fuck not?!” She said, stamping her foot.

“BECAUSE ELLANORE--I’M TIRED OF FIGHTING IT!” He shouted, walking up to her. She didn't back down. She didn't cower. She glared at him.

“Go back to Nadine, Harry-”

“No.” He crossed his arms, and she narrowed her eyes.

“WHY NOT!?” Anger growing in her features again. He was pushing every fucking button, and it finally felt good.

“Because I don't love her.” He shrugged. Once again she groaned.

“GOD, WHY ARE YOU SO DIFFICULT?!”

“I’M NOT LETTING THIS GO. So once again, had I not been with Nadine, where would we be after that kiss?” His voice lowered dangerously, and he watch a fire ignite behind her eyes.

“Harry, I’m not her. Why would you want anything after that kiss?” He stopped and tilted his head. How could he not want something. She had become such a big part of his life, without her he’d began to lose himself again.

“Why would you say that? I don't want someone like her. I broke up with her the night I landed.” He approached her hesitantly. “Why are you fighting this? I can see it, Ellanore. I saw it on new years. That's why I kissed you.” That seemed to have done it. Breaking her walls, shattering her defenses. He watched her eyes glass over.

“I’m not a Jenner or famous.. or an instagram model.” She shook her head, trying so fucking hard to figure out why. “What do I have to offer you?” She spoke, sounding fearful of her words. Harry froze, his gaze turning hard. He took her face in his hands, forcing her to look at him.

“Don't ever say that you have nothing to offer me.” She tried to turn away, but he made her look back. “I was fucking lost the past two weeks without you. Must you be so fucking stubborn?” She didn't answer. A quiet moment settled over the kitchen.

“He's right, Ellie.” Anna said, looking to her. “You’ve been just as bad the past couple of weeks.” Ellie made to open her mouth and reply.

“Don't deny it. We had to fucking drag you from your bed,” Kaia said, raising an eyebrow. They were right. He was right. Everyone was right and that’s probably what made this 100 times harder to admit. She had been fighting it. But to protect herself.

She let out an exasperated sigh and backed away from him.

“Well, what if this fucking ends up turning to shit, huh?” She said, throwing her hands up. “What fucking happens then, Harry? Because I can't lose you. If I lose you, I... I don't think I could handle it.” He sighed and shook his head. He looked so tired, but he was still here, trying to fight.

“I’m not going anywhere,” he said finally. “Not now. Not ever. ‘fraid you’re stuck with me, love.” Fuck.

\---

 

After the showdown, everyone pretty much excused themselves, leaving Harry and Ellie alone in the kitchen. Liam hugged everyone goodbye and blushingly smiled at Kaia giving her his number and thanking her for breakfast, and in return, he owed her dinner. Niall kissed Clair's cheek, telling her he'd see her soon. All of her roomates went to get ready for work, and Ellie stood in by the sink washing dishes. It’s the least she could do, bringing this mess home. Harry stood against the counter, still 90% naked, sipping his second cup of coffee. He was a bit pale, probably still hung over.

“You ever gon' talk to me again, love?” Harry said meekly. Ellie didn't look up from her task.

“You ever gonna put on pants at some point?” She questioned back. Harry smiled.

“Quite like the freedom, love,” He began and she snorted.

“Stop saying that,” she mumbled.

“Stop saying what, love?” He teased leaning toward her. She jumped a bit.

“Stop calling me, love,” Harry put down the mug and leaned down to her ear. She tensed as he whispered.

“Never, my love.” She dropped the dish in the sink and turned to him. He chuckled and winked at her.

“What do you want this to be, Harry? Because... I...I literally don't-” But he caught her lips in his, she gave in after a moment, letting the taste of his mouth wash over her. She closed her eyes as he snaked his hands around her waist. She moaned a bit, not realizing until he pulled away, smiling cockily.

“Oh, is that so, pet?” She blushed at his words. That fucking nickname. She remembered how it had affected her last night. How he whispered it in her ear. He wasted no time in kissing her again, this time deeper, his hands tangling in her dark hair. Fuck it. Giving in was so much more pleasurable. He scooped his hands under her thighs, hauling them up against his waist. He sat her on the counter and began trailing kisses down her jaw and towards her neck line. Okay, fuck. She was putty in his hands. Which was scary. Because she has never felt so vulnerable. And here she was having the hottest make out session, with Harry fucking Styles, in his damn boxer-briefs. Her hands snaked under his arms, gripping his shoulders. Wow, his lips felt good. FUCK. She gasped as he kissed behind her ear. He pulled away, biting his lip. She's pretty sure she could come undone right there.

“Gross, we fucking eat there, guys.” They pulled apart at Kaia’s words and Ellie blushed, jumping down and turning away. Harry laughed a bit.

“Apologies.” Harry's phone went off and he frowned. Shit, he had a meeting with Jeff in an hour. He turned to Ellie. “Come over later. 8pm, yeah?” He said, leaning down and pressing a kiss to her cheek. God, he loved that he could do that now.

\----

Harry was dressed and wow, Ellie had never been so pissed off at clothes in her entire life. She watched him call Dale, all the while, glancing back at her with a huge smile. She wanted to fight it, but he was right. Why? She still wasn't totally convinced he actually would end up wanting to spend a long time with her, people ended up leaving in her life eventually, but selfishly, she wanted to hold on to him. Famous rock star or not, this was just the dorky fuckboy who walked into her job all those months ago, and wedged his perfect ass into her heart. Damn it.

“Don't think too hard, you might break the dish,” Kaia said with a smirk.

“Sorry.” Ellie rinsed it and put it in the drypan.

“Would you stop overthinking this? The guy fucking begged his best friend to bring him here.” Ellie sighed.

“Kaia, I’m not... he’s going to get bored with me. I don't properly fit into his upscale life. Look at me.”

“I am. And I see a lovesick puppy following you. Don't know what you did to him, but he's drooling for you,” Kaia said before taking Ellie by the shoulders and shaking her. “Stop self-destructing. Live your life for fuck’s sake.” With that, she headed out the door, bidding goodbye to Harry. Clair and Anna soon followed, hugging her and both of them giving her warning looks. Don't fuck this up. She’d try.

“Remember 8pm.” Harry said, pointing at her.

“8 pm.” She nodded. He left, face still a bit red from smiling so wide.

 

\---

 

8pm. Why the fuck was she suddenly so nervous? Does she knock? Okay, in all fairness, she never knocked. She usually just asserted herself in his life. Not that he ever seemed to mind. She wasn't sure how to dress. So black jeans and a nice top worked well... she hoped. She raised her hand and made to knock when the door swung open and Harry appeared. His face lit up.

“What are you doin' standin’ out here?” He asked, giving her a questioning look.

“I..uhm. I wasn't sure if I like could still walk in,” she said, embarrassed a bit, rubbing the back of her neck. Harry chuckled.

“Has that ever stopped you before?” He gestured for her to come in. His apartment was dark, lit by about 50 candles. It smelled amazing. Ellie smiled as his French doors were open, the night sky peeking in. A small table stood in front of it, lit by a single candle. 

Suddenly, her breath was catching and her hands started to get clammy. Shit. “I uhm, attempted to do some cooking. Even though you’re better then I will ever be,” he said, walking over to the kitchen area. Ellie laughed and sat down.

“Did you really cook?” She asked, raising an eyebrow.

“I did, but it turned horrid in moments, so I ordered us our favorite take away,” he said cheekily.

“I thought I smelled good stuff diner,” she said, wrapping her hair up as he set a plate in front of her. Oh my god. He knows her so well. She let out a little moan jokingly, “Harry, holy shit,” she said biting her lip, she looked up at him and his face was serious, eyes dark. “What?”

“Don't do that,” he said with a stern look.

“Do what?” He narrowed his eyes. She knew what.

“Do not moan like that,” he said turning around and grabbing his dish. “Goes straight to my cock.”

“What does?” She smirked. “This?” She let out another fake moan and watched him pale a bit, lust peeking through his features. Wow. Guess it did go to his dick. She giggled and he sighed.

“You are making it very difficult for me to be gentlemen right now, Ellanore.” She wasn't fond of her full name, but Harry was the exception. The way he said it made her knees shake.

“Boo, you’re boring.” She leaned over and took a bite of his mac and cheese. He laughed a bit and shook his head.

“I’d like to properly court you if that's alright, which means to keep those pornographic moans to a minimum,” Harry said starting his dinner.

“Court me? What, you gonna ask my dad’s permission to marry me in the end?” Harry snorted.

“That would be the proper way, yes, but I don't intend to marry you for quite some time.”

“It’s our first date, dumbass. Don't be so sure.” Harry flung a french fry at her and she gasped. “Excuse you--rude--that is not how you win over women.”

“No, but it’s how I win over an Ellie,” he said in triumph. Okay, true. Food was like her number one way to be won over. And Harry knew what she liked and how she liked it.

“How was your meeting with Jeff?” Ellie asked. She noticed him tense a bit and she furrowed her brows.

“It was uh, good. Looking into recording for the next album. Wants to do a music video for the new single soon.” He didn't look up from his dinner and Ellie frowned.

“Okay, what happened? Did you get fired from being Harry Styles?” She asked, crossing her arms. That got him to smile a bit.

“No, just a lot to do.. you know. Award shows and such.” She nodded. “Just anticipating how tired I’ll be.”

“Well, it'll be worth it in the end. I know how much you love it.” He did. But he was so much more interested in Ellie. And being around her. Especially with their newfound...whatever they were.

“It's just the traveling is all,” he said quietly. “Being away from you.” She paused.

“You've traveled before...”

“But not before...this.” He gestured between them. She sighed.

“Harry, what are you worried about?”

“That you'll... I don't know, get annoyed with me. My past relationships were strained when I’d travel and it would take a toll-”

“Harry, listen to me.” She leaned over the table and took his hand. God, they were so big. And warm. She interlocked their fingers and he looked down at it. “My classes start up in a week. I’ll be busy with work and stuff, don't worry. I’ll miss you, but I’m not... going to argue you with about your job.” He looked up at her with sad eyes. “Ever.” With that, he softened and tightened their grip.

 

After dinner, they laid on the couch, watching one of Harry's favorite rom coms. Only this time, Harry pulled her into his side, his hands stroking up and down her back. She had never felt so peaceful then in that moment. He was so warm and welcoming, and she could hear his heartbeat through his thin black shirt. 

When the movie ended, Ellie looked up to see Harry's eyes closed and his soft breaths of him sleeping. She prayed that this choice she made was good one. For both of them. She could take care of him. She took care of everyone else. She like to care of people. She did it with her siblings her whole life. But the challenge was going to be letting him take care of her. She checked her phone it was 12am. She sighed and sat up slowly trying not to wake him.

“Mmm... stay.” He groaned, rubbing his eyes and turning to her. Well, so much for that. She half-smiled.

“We can't sleep on the couch,” she said, brushing the hair from his forehead. He smiled sleepily.

“C'mon. Beds all nice and waiting,” he said sighing and standing up. He stretched and turned off the TV, heading towards his bedroom. Fuck. Suddenly, Ellie was wide awake. I mean, they had slept next to each other before. Just... not why they were like this. He sensed her hesitation and took her hand gently.

“Relax, yeah? Jus' me.” It was just Harry. That’s all. Just Harry. She took a calming breath and followed him.

Harry quickly stripped from his clothes, casually letting out a yawn and turning to her. She debated for a moment before eyeing how fucking welcoming his huge comfy California king looked. And how fucking beautiful he was in nothing but his black boxer briefs, tattoos decorating him like a masterpiece.

“It’s warmer in the bed, love,” he said, smirking a bit. She made a face and began to undress slowly. His eyes raked over her body, admiring her every curve and imperfection. She could almost see him drooling a bit. “Fuck,” he whispered. She'd seen him naked before, but he’d never really gotten her down to her bra and panties. She walked over to his dresser and pulled out one of his favorite vintage band t-shirts before biting her lip and trying to undo her bra. She cursed because of course this ancient thing was stuck. She really needed to go shopping for cuter shit now. 

Suddenly, warm hands pushed hers away and her breath caught. Jesus Christ. She gulped as he undid the button, the tips of his fingers trailed down her bare back before letting her bra fall to the floor at her feet. She felt Harry's hands slowly make there way down her forearms, and she felt him lean down and place a kiss at the back of her neck. The high gave her pins and needles from her toes through her fingers. And just like that, he was gone. She clenched her teeth and pulled the t-shirt over her head, turning around to see him lying in bed waiting for her open arms.

“Cuddles?” He asked in his heavy accent. She rolled her eyes and climbed up.

“Yeah, yeah,” she said crawling over to him. He reached up and pulled the rubber band from her hair and handed it to her. “Excuse you. Rude.”

“Like it betta down, love,” he mumbled, his eyes closing as she laid down on his chest. Of course he does. He ended up playing with it the entire night.


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Double update cause yall are the bestest and i love you

Ellie hated being wrong. Well, she hated to admit she was wrong. And this past week, she was starting to feel stupid doubting whatever she and Harry were. Because every time she saw him now, her heart fluttered and she couldn't stop smiling. It was like getting a present every day, she got to wake up in his arms, indulge in his cologne, touch his tattoos and kiss him as much as she wanted. It was so addicting. He'd smile all sleepily when she'd run her hands through his hair. God, she loved his hair. And kiss his dimples. 

But there was always that stupid voice in the back of her head, telling her it wasn't going to end well. And what would his fans say? What would his management say? Hell, what would Anne and Gemma say? But it was always booted from her mind when he'd trail kisses down her neck, and run his hands against the curves of her back. He was like a fucking boy wizard for real, working his ways to completely immerse her and make her forget every anxiety. Today Harry had a couple of meetings, so Ellie decided to head back to her apartment for the day. She noticed the unwashed dishes and the place needed a good vacuuming.

 

“Who's this stranger in our kitchen, Anna?” Kaia said from behind Ellie. She laughed and rolled her eyes.

 

“I‘m not sure, but they're doing our chores, so I say leave them,” Anna replied, sitting down at the kitchen table.

“Ha ha. Jokes as fuck,” Ellie said, finishing the last dish and turning towards her friends.

“So, you leave here for a week and just expect us to not tease you? Do you even know us?” Kaia grabbed a water and sat down next to Anna. “Alright, bitch, spill.”

“Spill what?”

“Tea, honey, I wanna know. You pretty much disappeared after your date night, the only time I saw you was when you grabbed work clothes. So, how's the British boy toy?”

“Really? British boy toy?” Suddenly, Ellie remembered something and smiled slyly to her friend. “Hang on, what about you and Liam? He seemed pretty interested the other day. Isn't he here for the rest of the week?” Kaia immediately shut her mouth and looked away. “Kaia, text him. Go on the date.”

“Why should I? Boy interrupted my damn beauty sleep.” She grumbled.

“Because he was looking at you like he just discovered buried treasure,” Anna replied raising her eyebrow. Kaia rolled her eyes and sipped at her drink.

“Well, what about you and fuck boy hmm? I only see minimal bite marks, I assume most are on your ass?” Ellie frowned and turned away, she busied herself putting the dishes in the cabinet. “Ellie, are you serious?” She heard Kaia gasp.

“You’re joking, You two haven't jumped each other yet?” She sounded so surprised.

“It just hasn't... come up.” Okay, it totally has come up, but Ellie has stopped it most of the time. Mainly because she's nervous as fuck. Does she want him to pound her till she's black and blue and can barely walk? Uhm, with every fiber of her fucking being. But she was scared it was going to be awkward. Even though, Harry never makes her feel awkward. In fact, he looks at her now openly like he wants to devour every ounce of her being. They'd only really cuddled, and heavily made out the past week, and in the back of her head she felt like going all in would be to soon.

“Bullshit, y’all are so sexually tense with each other, you make everyone else in the room horny.” Ellie whipped her head at Kaia who only shrugged. “Only stating facts.”

“So it’s.. not too soon?”

“Bitch I’m surprised you didn't fuck him on the kitchen table the first night.” True. He almost took her on the counter as well. Ah fuck, what was she doing. She paused for a moment, really contemplating her next move. She then dropped the dish back into the sink and quickly ran to her room. “Go get em, girl,” Kaia yelled as Ellie grabbed her coat and bag. She ran past her friend and headed for the door. “AND WEAR PROTECTION, DAMN IT! Y’ALL ARE TOO YOUNG FOR KIDS!” She heard Kaia scream before the door shut and she was in the elevator.

 

Clare, Sarah, Mitch, and Adam all sat around Harry's table as he stirred his fresh tea. It was nice to actually seem them outside the studio sessions, he'd become quite close to them. They'd all been chatting, mainly about the upcoming events they were to attend.

“So mate, how’s Ellie?” Adam asked with a smirk. He raised his eyebrows suggestively and Harry laughed.

“Quite good, actually...” He trailed off. It was. It was honestly everything he thought it’d be. They may have only been a week in, but they stayed pretty much the same.

“God I’m glad you two finally got your heads out your asses,” Sarah said, sipping her drink.

“That’s supposed to mean?” Harry crossed his arms over his chest.

“Oh come on, you two practically eye fucked every time you were together. Bit adorable actually,” Clare said with a wink. Christ, was he really that obvious?

“Was probably the best sex you had yet, right?” Adam laughed. Harry's eyes darted down to his feet. Okay, so they hadn't done more then... making out. And he really wanted to be a gentlemen about the whole thing considering they were pretty new to... this relationship. But fuck his self-control was really something. Especially when she'd slip on his shirts, or in the mornings when it’d ride up a bit, and her breasts would poke out. And then she'd insist on going fucking pantlesses around the apartment. Every time she'd leave he'd have to wank one out for his own good.

“Shut up, have you two seriously not done it?” Sarah said in pure shock.

“Leave ‘em be guys,” Mitch said, trying to rescue Harry who was now tinged a bit red. Harry shrugged.

“S'no big deal. I just wanted to be a gentlemen ‘bout it, yeah? Wasn't about to fuck her senseless the first night,” he mumbled running a hand through his hair. Suddenly, there was a knock at his door and he tilted his head in confusion.

 

Ellie shivered after being pelted with fucking ice rain. She was done. Done with waiting because goddamn it, that man was beautiful. Those gorgeous tattoos decorating him like a Monet, his beautiful eyes that darkened with lust everytime he looked at her. A week was more than enough. A week was like seven fucking days too long. Harry opened the door and his confusion turned into a huge excited smile.

“Hello, love, wasn't expecting you till lat-” But he was cut off as Ellie ran to him and pressed her chilled lips to his. He grunted a bit in surprise before she wrapped her hands around the back of his neck and deepened the kiss. His hands gripped her waist through her jacket and she felt him squeeze her against him. She broke apart, only to begin to tear off her many layers of clothing. His breathing was ragged, watching her intently.

“Wha-what was that for?” He asked, watching her toss her jacket to the floor with her scarf and kicking her boots off.

“Fuck it. I waited literally months- this is happening.” She said practically out of breath. He looked baffled for a moment before realizing what she was saying.

“Oh-OH! Oh well uhm-” But she pulled him back into her, pressing her body flush against his, and he let out a beautiful moan into the kiss. His hands snaked up her waist, his hips grinding into hers ruthlessly.

“So, we'll leave you too it-” Ellie and Harry sprung apart at the sound of Clare’s voice. Ellie’s eyes widened and she covered her mouth, completely embarrassed. Harry let out a laugh as his friends waved awkwardly. Ellie slapped his arm and he winced.

“Was tryin to tell you, love,” he said innocently.

“Dick!” She said, covering her face. They all smiled and patted Harry on the back and headed out the door, wishing them a good night. “Are they gone?” She mumbled through her fingers after a moment.

“Yeah, love.”

“Good.” But before she could move, Harry’s large hands wrapped around her wrists and pushed her against the wall. She gasped and he looked down at her hungrily, his eyes trailing over her lips and down her chest.

“That was quite naughty of you,” he whispered next to her ear. Holy fuck. She shuttered a bit, her eyes closing tightly. How the fuck could just his voice make her start to drip like that? He smirked at her squirming. “I liked it.” With that, he slid his hands under her thighs and lifted her upward, wrapping her legs around his waist. She squealed and gripped him for dear life as he walked towards his bedroom. When he got there, he threw her onto the fluffy white duvet and smirked.

“Get naked,” she said, eyeing him feverishly. He raised an eyebrow at her demanding tone.

“As you wish,” he said slowly pulling his shirt off. Holy effin’ fuck. She sat up on her elbows, watching as he pulled his jeans off. “Your turn,” he said, sliding his hands up her shirt and pulling it over her head. She closed her eyes at his touch, the heat burning her skin as the tips of his fingers unhooked her bra. He heard him gulp loudly as he eyed her breasts in awe. She bit her lip her nerves suddenly coming to as he laid her down under him gently. His eyes locked onto hers, refusing to look away as his large hand trailed from the back of her neck down her now bare chest, slowly past her belly button and in the lining of her black thong. “As much as I adore these...” He slowly slid it over her thighs, taking his sweet time admiring her every curve. She could feel how hard he was against her leg, and fuck if she wasn't completely immersed by it. But once again, the doubt creeped into her. Why now? She thought angrily. Why must her anxiety ruin this fucking perfect moment? He must've noticed her hesitation however and frowned.

“Ellie, If you want me to stop at any time-” Her eyes went wide at his sudden words.

“N-No! Fuck no- I just. Ugh, sorry. Stupid.” She muttered, trying to cover her face but Harry's free hand grabbed her wrists and held them above her head.

“Don't ever hide from me,” he said sternly. She nodded, a bit intimidated by his sudden serious tone. “What's wrong, my love?”

“I’m just.. I’m a bit.. Embarrassed..” She darted her eyes down and he turned her chin towards him, his face contorting into anger.

“Of what?”

“My uhm... my... body.” Saying it, she felt stupid. Because, really? She only ever had sex once before, and the asshole pretty much ruined it for her. She was uncomfortable because he clearly didn't want to see her and kept the lights off, and she regretted that moment immediately after. Her fears snuck up on her and she had been trying so hard to ignore them. “I’m sorry I -”

“First of all… Don't ever be embarrassed with me, understood?” He said firmly. “Second, when I’m done with you, I’m going to make you feel like an absolute goddess.” He dipped down and pressed his lips behind her ear and she gasped and arched her back. Holy fucking hell. “Because you deserve to be worshipped, do you understand?” He grinding his hard clothed cock against her heat and she hissed in pleasure. He was literally going to kill her. He withdrew when she didn't answer and she held back a whimper. “Say it.”

“S-say what?” She stuttered out, needily reaching her pelvis out for his touch again. God, he was addicting. This was dangerous but she was prepared.

“Say you deserve to worshipped.” He egged on, teasingly sucking his way down her neck. She felt his tongue flick her hard nipple and she jumped a bit, his grip tightening on her wrists to keep her in place. “Say it, pet, or there will be consequences.”

“I-I deserve it-” She pleaded. Oh god. Oh my fuck. He began to suck just under her navel, his curls tickling her breast and stomach. Asshole. He was literally going to fucking destroy her if he didn't fuck her senseless in that moment.

“Deserve what, my pet?” He said teasingly.

“To b-be worshipped- Harry, oh my god-” She tried arching herself upward towards him, begging for something to ride against. He chuckled and looked up at her from between her now spread legs.

“That’s my goddess,” he said lowly, just hovering above her now glistening thighs. He smirked. “Look at you, all ready.” Without warning, he licked his tongue from her hole to her clit and she gasped gripping at the sheets in shock. Sweet fucking hell. She was seeing stars.

“Jesus Christ-” He noticed her biting her cheek and frowned.

“Oh no, poppet, you’re going to be loud for me, yeh.” He wrapped his hand around her thighs and pulled her towards his mouth desirously. His tongue traced back between her folds and she yelped. “Good girl.” The way he praised her was enough to make her come, but she knew he wasn't about to let that happen any time soon. She could tell he wanted to drag this out. And honestly, she was so fucking okay with that. 

As he worked her over, his fingers slowly entering her and pushing them right up to the knuckle, her toes curled and she squirmed in his firm grip. He pumped two of them nice and slow, caressing her rigged insides. His rings were cold against her entrance but it just added to the torturous pleasure.

“F-fuck Harry-” She groaned feeling the building in the bottom of her stomach. He must've felt her walls clench because he pulled away and she whimpered at the sudden loss of contact.

“No, my love, I want to feel you cum all over me.” He pulled his boxers off finally, letting his hard cock spring free. Are you kidding me? Even that was beautiful, the way it hung between his legs. She bit her bottom lip eagerly as he stroked himself a bit. “Lay back down,” he ordered her and she immediately obliged, letting him straddle over her a moment before hitching her legs up a bit. Suddenly, his face fell and he groaned resting his forehead on her knee.

“What?” She asked impatiently. He chuckled.

“Condom--” She shook her head.

“On birth control. Just fuck me,” she said, slapping his ass. He tensed and his eyes grew lust filled.

“Oh, you will be paying for that, missy.” He pushed the tip in gingerly and she moaned loudly. His head dropped in complete pleasure, both his arms on the side of her head. He pushed in further and finally bottomed out. Her back lifted to meet his hips and he moaned into her ear, feeling himself bury deeper. “Fuck, Ellie-” He purred with satisfaction. She was so tight and warm around him, he had to refrain from coming right then and there. He moved his hips in and out slow at first, as she felt her heart rate increase rapidly. Her hands slipped around his back and she dug her nails into his shoulders as he sucked harshly just behind her ear.

Harry's rhythm picked up quickly, and the sound of their skin slapping together, her climax building. He felt so fucking good inside her. She had almost passed out when he first thrusted fully into her, not used to his enormous size, but it was like a perfect fit after that. The way he was slamming into her hips, she knew it was going to be a pain to walk tomorrow. And definitely bruised. Especially since she hadn't had sex since her senior prom, but here he was lovingly kissing and sucking on her everywhere. Admiring her every curve and making sure she felt amazing.

Ellie couldn't hold out, it was rising deep in her and she was about to let loose. Suddenly, Harry hooked his arm under her thigh and brought it up to his shoulder, his cock hitting the right spot. She let out a loud moan and dug her nails into his biceps. He felt her starting to contract around him.

“Let go, beautiful,” he encouraged. “Cum all over my cock, pet.” She did as she was told, and her orgasm hit her forcefully. She closed her eyes and felt him hit her spot once more before her legs shook a bit, and her toes curled. Her head was spinning and her body was heavy. Harry suddenly gave her a few more thrusts. He felt her clench around him as he moaned her name one last time filling her up, his warm cum coating her walls. After a moment, he slowly pulled out and laid down next to her. His eyes closed and his chest heaving for air. They were quiet, but Ellie couldn't stop smiling. Completely blissed out. She turned her head and saw him smiling back. A few curls were stuck to his forehead and she leaned over and pushed it away.

“That was actually even more amazing then in my fantasies of you,” he said breathlessly. Ellie giggled.

“You had sex fantasies about me?” She said, raising an eyebrow.

“I mean, yeah... but now that I've had the real thing.” He let out a breath. “Christ.” She laughed and went to turn over but he wrapped an arm around her waist and pulled her back to him. She fell onto his chest and sighed, his heart still pounding a bit under his swallow tattoo. He played with her hair and she ran a finger over his black butterfly. “Ellie,” he said quietly. She looked up at him, her chin resting on his broad chest.

“Mmm?” She muttered. Her body still felt so weak, but in the most beautiful way. She could get used to this. She so badly wanted to get used to this.

“You really do deserve to to be worshipped,” he whispered. She felt tears burn the back of her eyes. God damn it, not now, Styles. “I know..I know with your... depression sometimes you may feel... different about yourself. But I want to be the person who gets to tell you how beautiful you are every day.” She smiled at his words and buried her nose into him. She didn't deserve him. She didn't deserve this man. She was too fucked up. He deserved normal.

“So sappy.” She smiled and pressed a kiss to his neck, trying to lighten the mood. She couldn't cry. She refused to be that emotional chick who cried after fucking sex. Perfect, amazing, iconic sex. She felt him laugh a bit and looked up to see he was eyeing her. Very seriously. Fuck.

“Will you?” He asked.

“Will I what?”

“Will you let me that person?” She felt a tear fall down her cheek. Welp, so much for non-emotional. God, when had she become so soft? Oh yeah, when she let this goober into her life. He pretty much nunchucked her fucking barriers to the ground with one swift ass punch. But she was kind of okay with that. She nodded a little and gave him a small smile.

“You can.” She crawled up and leaned over him, her hair falling around them as she pressed a gentle kiss to his lips and he smiled against hers.

“My beautiful Ellanore.” He wrapped an arm around her waist and pulled her down squeezing her tight. And that's how they fell asleep for the next couple of hours. Entangled in sweaty limbs, soft sheets and warm skin.


	18. Chapter 18

Ellie woke to someone’s soft snores in her ear. She turned to see Harry's nose pressed against her neck. She smiled to herself, completely immersed in his little sounds. How had she gotten so lucky? Finding someone who actually enjoyed her nerdy dorky self. Someone who wanted to spend as much time with her as possible. He was so perfect. Last night had squashed any doubt she had left in her mind. The way he spoke to her, and made love to her. For a second time, it felt like her first. He made sure to admire every part of her body with his lips. They had gotten two more rounds in before they passed out, sated in each other’s arms. She felt his hand tighten around her waist and she closed her eyes again. She could die in this bed for all she cared and it would be perfect. She woke a short time later to her phone going off and she groaned.

“Turn that bloody thing off,” he muttered next to her. She had somehow moved onto her back and Harry was now koala-hugging her. She giggled and yawned, reaching over and looking at the time. Shit. She was about to be so fucking late for work. She gasped and jumped up, tripping on her jeans.

“FUCK!” She growled, standing up and pulling her pants on. She was literally always on time how the fuck was she about to be this late? Three missed calls from Max. God, Marge must be fuming. Harry picked his head up at the sound of her cuss and chuckled a bit at her exasperated expression. “Fucking pants! What'd I gain 10 pounds overnight?” She groaned, trying hard to button them. Harry rubbed at his face and peeked an eye open blearily.

“Those are mine, love.” She stopped, jumping about at the raspy sound of his voice.

“Oh... explains a lot,” she said, hopping out of the pants legs.

“If you want to get in my pants, love, all you have to do is say so,” he said, grinning cockily. She sneered at him and tossed his jeans on the bed in search of hers. He groaned watching her run about his room and then to bathroom. “Top shelf, new toothbrush,” he said, yawning. She yelled a ‘thank you’ as his head hit the pillow again.

“I’m going to be goddamn late. I swear to god--” She grumbled, trying to brush her hair.

“Call out, pet, you can stay in bed with me all day.” He smiled slyly. God, don't tempt her. She wanted nothing more then to get back under those covers and curl into his arms. And 7am was way too fucking early. It was starting to kill her. But with classes starting Monday, she was taking in the last of her shifts as she could get.

“I wish, baby, but I need to pay my semester...” She stopped when she realized she had just called him baby.

“Did you just call me baby?” He said, looking at her through his tired eyes.

“You call me pet.”

“Yes well, I’ve never heard you call me that… I like it,” he said, biting his lip a bit and admiring her from across the room. Even in her jeans and his black and white flannel she was a fucking vision. One he wanted to indulge in repeatedly. He looked out the window and frowned. “Ellanore, there's a blizzard outside. Call Marge and tell her to piss off,” he said seriously.

“Harry, I have to open. I’ll come back after, okay?” She said, walking over and kissing him softly on his lips earning a huge smile. God he's so beautiful. Her own personal piece of art. She caressed his cheek and stared into his eyes just a moment longer, to help fuel her day so she could come back to him. Just eight hours. She could handle that. Harry suddenly grabbed her wrist and pulled her onto him, rolling over to trap her in his arms. She squealed.

“Dude, I just brushed my hair,” she said, groaning and trying to free herself. “I’m gonna be late, you shit, and then you can explain to Marge why.” He didn't budge. Instead, he leaned down and kissed the corner of her lip, then trailed his puffy lips down her jawn and unto her neck. She gasped a little as he began to suck harder. After a moment, she came back to and pushed him up. He pouted as she walked into the bathroom and noticed the red swollen mark on her neck and groaned. “Harrrry, come on!” He laughed as she tried to rub at it. “You’re such a little shit, I swear to god.” With a sigh, she walked out of the bathroom and headed for the door.

“Excuse me!” Harry yelled and she turned on her heel.

“What?”

“Goodbye kiss?” He said, puckering his lips. Fuck it, she was late anyway.

“Fine. I should kick your ass for this hickey is what I should be doing. You’re lucky you’re cute.” She leaned over the bed and kissed him once more. He smiled into her lips and pushed her hair behind her ear.

“Come back to me, my love,” he said as she bit her lip and nodded. Always. She’d come back to him always if she could.

“Go back to sleep. I’ll be back before you know it.” She stood up and felt him pat her ass before she turned her head and stuck her tongue out at him.

“You’re gonna pay for that later, little one,” he yelled as she headed out.

 

 

When Ellie walked into the cafe, she saw she was 30 minutes late. Max popped his head out of the back, concern on his face.

“Holy shit, Ellie, I thought you were dead- You're never late!” He said. running out and hugging her. She laughed and hugged him back before beginning to undress.

“Yeah well, it's a fucking nor'easter outside and we’re the only assholes open,” she muttered.

“Trust me, agreed,” he said, yawning and finishing up the coffee grinds.

“Morning all!” Marge's voice echoed walking in. She would be a ray of fucking sunshine in a damn blizzard.

“Is it really necessary for us to be open, Marge? It's literally three feet of snow out there,” Max complained.

“We’ll close early. But you'd be surprised how many people still go into work in this weather. And with that, they need coffee!” She said, winking at him as he rolled his eyes.

“Ellie, how are you dear I feel like I haven't seen you in ages.” She really hadn't. I mean, Ellie was working, but Marge was... god knows where when Ellie was here.

“Pretty good, excited for classes Monday.” Marge squeezed her shoulders.

“You’re going to do wonderfully, you always do. Oh, did you notice? I hung your painting in the lounge area the other night!” She said pointing to the area of comfy chairs. And sure enough, there hung the small paintings of beautiful flowers.

“Oh Marge, you didn't have t-”

“Please, your talent deserves to be up there for the world to see. It goes so well in here,” she said thoughtfully. Ellie blushed as Max shot a smile in her direction. She was gonna miss working here every day.

Ellie scooped up her hair into a messy bun when she heard Hailey gasp next to her.

“What?” She asked eyes wide.

“Ellanore, what the fuck happened to your neck?” Oh fucking hell. She stammered.

“Oh I, burned myself with the flat iron-”

“You liar! That's a damn good hickey if I’ve ever seen one,” Max said, snickering. Asshole. Ellie's face reddened.

“Shit, whoever gave you that was trying to mark their territory.” Hailey winked at her.

“It-it’s not. It’s-” They both stared at her expectantly.

“No wonder you were late,” Max said slyly. Hailey looked at her like she had six heads.

“Hang on, you were late? You’re literally here everyday at the ass crack of dawn and you were late... whoever your fucking with must be some sort of god to get you to be late.” You had no fucking idea she thought blissfully.

 

–

Five hours into her shift and sure enough, crazy fucking people were venturing in for their coffee fix. The rush wasn't as bad, but it was still heavy. She, Hailey, and Max even ended up eating their lunch as they worked and she really hated that. Marge had left a couple hours ago, and called them and told them to close up by 1pm. Luckily, that was in 20 minutes. She was finishing up the stock area, as Max and Hailey sat on the counter, watching the weather report on the news.

“Oh shit, Ellie, your bestie is on TV!” Max said from where he sat. Ellie looked up to see Harry’s face on an Entertainment Tonight commercial.

“Tonight on ET, Harry Styles’ dramatic breakup with girlfriend Nadine Filsco. What happened and why the sudden change of heart?” The blonde newscaster rattled off.

Ellie rolled her eyes as she stuffed napkins into the dispenser. Sudden change of heart? She fucking broke his heart.

“Inside exclusive with Nadine coming up, stay tuned.”

“Trouble in paradise? What happened? Weren't they like living in each others asses?” Hailey asked, folding up credit card receipts.

“What happened is she’s a shit person,” Ellie mumbled. She knew all about their breakup. Here Ellie was feeling guilty as fuck for the girl, meanwhile Harry explained the night he broke up with her, she flat out told him she cheated on him the entire time she was on vacation. And sure, they kissed, but she had been cheating on him the first night apparently. Someone posted a pic on twitter dated that night and she was curled up on some guys lap at a club. Now all Ellie wanted to do was break this bitch’s face.

“Someone’s protective,” Max said, raising his eyebrows.

“Of course I’m going to be protective, he's my fucking boy- I mean, he's my best fucking friend.” Fuck, she caught herself so fast. They both still looked at her confused for a moment, but let it go. She and Harry had decided it was best to keep whatever this was, as low-key as possible. Well, she decided that. Especially with this going around now. Harry seemed slightly upset, but he understood.

 

\---

Freedom. Fucking bless. The snow was still falling, luckily a little less harsh, but there were still piles of it as she shut the door and locked it. She turned to see Harry's black town car out front, Dale standing next to the door.

“Sup hulk,” she said, smiling a bit and walking over.

“Harry sent me, said he didn't want you to catch a cold. Knew you would walk instead of grabbing a cab.” Fuck, he did know her. She thanked him and slid in the back. Ah, warm. Dale drove towards Harry's building, and she relaxed excited to see him. It was like she needed a fix. She had been itching and jumpy all day waiting to see him. Thank god they left early, she wasn't sure she would have lasted another three hours.

“Harry's not home at the moment, I'll be picking him up in an hour. He said to bring you back here.” Fuck, she thought bitterly. Dale must've noticed her frown and chuckled. She thanked him and slipped out of the car and past the doorman.

When she got inside, she undressed from her winter clothes and walked into his bedroom. Honestly, she could handle an hour. But also, she couldn't. Her full ADHD just came back and she needed to do something to take her mind off it. With that, she pulled her clothes off, and grabbed one of his t-shirts from the drawers. Looking around, she sighed. Damn this place was a mess. She knew Harry had someone clean once a week, but fuck, she was bored. She began to toss his dirty clothes into a hamper and fold his other outfits. She hung up some new clothes he had lying on the chair that Gucci had sent over. She put them in his walk in closet and then proceeded with the rest of the apartment.

By the time 60 minutes were up, she just finished vacuuming the place, and was onto the dishes. There weren't many, and she cleared away some of the old food in his fridge as well. He needed a good shop. Maybe they could go to Target tonight. Benefits of having a driver, 25-minute trips across the island were not as much a hassle. She had her Spotify list playing when the door opened and she dried the last dish.

“I can get used to this,” she heard Harry's deep voice behind her. He walked up and snaked his hands around her waist, making her jump at his cold touch. He kissed her cheek and nuzzled into her neck. Mmm, he smelled so good.

“What, having a servant?” She said, snorting and turning around. He laughed and kissed her deeply, pressing her up against the counter.

“We can play that, if you'd like.” She swatted at his chest.

“God, you’re like a horny teenage boy,” she mumbled, putting the dish back.

“I’ve missed you,” he said softly into her ear.

“Where were you anyway? Weren't you the one bitching at me for working in this storm?”

“Had to lap a couple of guitar tracks with Mitch. Jeff says hi by the way,” he said, walking to the fridge and grabbing a water. He froze and looked at her. “What's happened to all my food?”

“When's the last time you went shopping? I had to toss everything, it was either expired or literally growing another garden on it.” He made a face of disgust.

“Before England actually,” he said, downing his drink. “Guess we’re ordering take away?”

“You guessed right,” she said, handing him his phone. He smiled at her warmly. “Why’re you staring at me, creeper?”

“What, I can't stare at my insanely beautiful girlfriend?” He asked. faking a shocked face. She snorted.

“Harry, I’m sweaty and gross, I smell like coffee, and I haven't washed my hair in two days.”

“Well shit, can't I just eat you for dinner?” He leaned down and licked her cheek. She gasped and rubbed at it with the back of her hand.

“You’re so gross!” She said, wiping it on his shirt. He laughed out loud and shook his head. She would never get tired of his laugh. Or his pure smile. Or the way his eyes crinkled.

 

 

Harry's head laid back against the couch, his eyes rolling back into his head. Ellie's eyes were watching him closely. The way his chest rose and fell. The soft snores coming from his parted lips. They had finished up dinner a little while ago. The news was on in the background, as the snow outside finally stopped. It couldn't have been a more peaceful scene. A couple of scattered candles around the dark apartment. It was these moments the past week or so that she was going to miss most. 

With Harry's promos coming up, her classes starting again. She had felt pretty spoiled getting to be with him every chance she could. In the back of her head, she wondered why she had fought this for so long. Fears had taken control of her, and her anxiety had run her life. And if it wasn't for him arguing sense into her, she'd still be wallowing in her dark space, convincing herself she wasn't worthy. Growing up with her type of family, she was always reprimanded for being different. Different was foreign to them, it was unsafe it was reckless. But with harry, he embraced her weirdness. He loved her rants about Marvel movies, and nerdy TV shows. He always complimented her music taste. His nose twitched a bit and she smiled. She couldn't resist.

 

She slowly leaned over and pressed a soft kiss to the corner of his mouth. She watched his lips curl upward a bit.

“‘lo there,” he whispered, peeking his eyes open a bit.

“Hi,” she said, looking over him.

“Watchin' me sleep, petal?” She shrugged.

“You're adorable, sue me.” He chuckled and yawned, rubbing his fists against his eyes.

“Shit, time is it?” He said, stretching his legs out.

“10. Want to go to bed?” She said, turning the TV off. He nodded and let out another yawn before sluggishly heading towards his room, ellie in tow. They both undressed and fell into the comfy bed, enveloped by warmth. Harry scooted his way over and secured his arms around Ellie, burying his face into her neck.

 

The sound of Harry's phone tone going off made both Ellie and him groan in aggravation. She turned to see that it was 12am. Seriously? Only two hours. Who in the fuck? Harry chose to ignore it and instead slide his hand up and down Ellie's leg before tightening his body around her, eye still shut. It went off again and he sighed.

“Answer it, Harry,” Ellie mumbled, turning over. He reached over her and grabbed the phone, scanning it to open.

“What?” he growled tiredly. “Jeff, it’s 12am, fuck do you need me for?” Ellie felt him suddenly tense and sit up. “What--wait, slow down...” He was more alert now and Ellie sat up, eyes following him as he searched the draw next to him for the remote. “What channel?” Harry turned on the TV and hit channel 2. Entertainment Tonight played and Ellie quickly remembered. The story. She hadn't gotten to watch the rest.

The phone stayed pressed to his ear as he watched the news caster announce the story of Nadine. She watched as Nadine appeared on the screen and wiped away the fakest tears Ellie had ever seen. This bitch.

“I don't know, we... were just fine. Me and Harry had something so special. Something no one else could even label.” The news women frowned in pity and patted Nadine’s hand. Ellie turned to see Harry’s face harden. “I found out he had cheated... and I called it off the night he came home.” She did not.

“That bitch!” Ellie roared. Harry sighed and rubbed a hand over his face.

“Yeah, no, I’m here... No, we just need to... We'll get the truth out.” Harry hung up the phone and stared at it in his hands. Ellie was now awake and riled up, pacing along the floor.

“I'm gonna rip those fake fucking extensions right from her fake ass roots!” Ellie growled.

“Ell, come back to bed. There's nothing to be done at this time of night,” he said, a deep frown etched on his perfect face. She stopped and sighed. He was right. She could kill her tomorrow. Right now, it was abundantly clear that he just needed her. She got into the bed and wrapped her arms around, his head falling onto her chest. She ran her hands soothingly through his hair. She was going to make that bitch pay. Weather it be rip her eyes out, or revenge.


	19. Chapter 19

She inhaled the scent of fresh art supplies as she entered her live drawing class. The other students walked in around her, placing there stuff at there seats at the large horseshoe shaped table. Fuck as much as she liked her time off, she really missed this environment. Individuals like her who were just as outcasted, but understood as she was.

“Morning.” A tall man, who looked like he was in his early thirties entered with a bright, welcoming smile. “I’m Mark Sivan, I’ll be your professor this semester.” He stood behind his desk and scanned over everyone. “In here, there are no mistakes. There are no wrongs. There are only happy accidents, and accidents in here always correct.” She kinda liked that concept. Everyone had their own style. There was no one person who could draw just like another. “I’m into visual learning. So today our model, a male age 26, will be posing for us. I'm not going to give you a style or a concept to draw with. I'm going to let you go with your own mind, I want to see what you see.”

Ellie heard a collective sharp inhale from most of the girls and guys in the class as a man walked in, beautiful gold hair and striking blue eyes. She was immediately drawn into his sharp cheekbones and jawline. He walked onto the platform, stripping his robe and posing on the stool. Ellie slipped her headphones on and grabbed her pencils.

 

–

By the end of class, everyone began to pack up. Ellie noticed her professor going around and looking at people's work. He stopped in front of hers and slowly picked up her sketch pad. A small smile appeared on his lips.

“This is... beautiful. The shading is so detailed. How'd you manage to do this in a 90 minute class?” He said, looking up. She shrugged.

“Practice,” she said, scooping up her pencils.

“Ellanore, yes?” He asked, looked at his seating chart. She nodded. He held his hand out.

“I have a feeling you’re in the wrong major,” he said chuckling.

“Yeah, a lot of people say that. I love drawing, but photography really speaks to me.”

“Well, if this is your drawing, I can only imagine how talented you are with a camera. Looking forward to seeing more your work,” he said, pointing at her and walking back to his desk. She kinda liked this guy. He was super carefree and very open. Kinda reminded her of Harry. Speaking of, she was so mad she wasn't going to see the next couple of days.  
The next day after the Nadine situation, Jeff flew him out to LA with his band for a surprise performance. Along with a couple of red carpet events to sort of throw everyone's scent off the Nadine scandal. He was upset he wasn't going to see her before she went back to classes, but she was more than okay with sharing him with the world. Because he belonged to everyone and she had and will always accept that. Besides, they both fucked each other sensless in the shower that night and she sent him off with probably her best blow job she’d ever given.

 

As Ellie entered, her key into the door of her apartment, she pushed it in and tossed her stuff on the side counter, hanging up her winter clothes.

“Kids, I’m home!” She called out jokingly. Suddenly, a figure appeared at the kitchen table and she gasped, grabbing her chest. “HOLY FUCKING HELL!” When the light brightened, she noticed it was Liam and her eyes widened.

“W-what... what are you doing here, didn't you have to go back?” She questioned crossing her arms. He laughed and rubbed the back of his neck. Oh my god. She just noticed. He was only in his boxers. Wait. That means.

“I, ehm, well I did go back to LA for a couple of days, but... I had to reshoot something and Kaia..” he trailed off looking downward, cheeks red.

“Baby, can you grab me a co- Oh, hey, Ell!” Kaia said, walking in casually. She was in what Ellie assumed was Liam's shirt and her undies. Ellie looked between the two before her smile turned into a shit-eating grin. “No-”

“I fucking knew it.” Ellie walked over and held her hand up to Kaia who looked at her angrily.

“I’m not high-fiving you,” Kaia said, through gritted teeth.

“Oh yes, you fucking are, girl- You just lost your vcard to a fucking pop star--” Ellie said, poking her now mortified friend. She looked over to see Liam biting his lip, trying not to laugh. “Nice one, Kaia, I’m like a proud mom--OH WE SHOULD BAKE YOU A CAKE!”

“We should not. And you, back to my room,” Kaia said, pointing to Liam, who nodded, giving her a puppy dog gushy smile as he passed. Kaia turned to Ellie. “Why are you like this?”

“You love me.”

“You’re impossible,” Kaia said, sighing and sitting down. Ellie waited a moment before once again jumping up and down.

“Tell me it was great--what did he say when you told him he was your first? Did he give you a dick down?!”

“God, you’re like a furby, don't your batteries ever die?” Kaia hid her face, clearly still embarrassed. After a minute of silence, she looked up. “Okay it was fucking awesome,” she whispered and Ellie made a whooping sound. Kaia shoved her hand over Ellie's mouth shushing her. “He said he was... honored to take it. And Ellie... he stayed.” Ellie watched her friends eyes go sincere when they looked over to the room. “He's been here for two days. He literally stayed with me. And like... held me.” She was lost deep. And Ellie couldn't be happier for her friend. One of Kaia’s fears was that whoever she lost it to, she’d regret it. Much like Ellie had. But instead, she found someone who actually wanted to be there for her.

“I’m happy for you, kid. You deserve it. And his amazing ass bod,” Ellie said, punching Kaia’s shoulder. Kaia half-smiled in a daze.

“Oh! I saw that interview... how’s he taking it?” Ellie sighed. Everyone saw that fucking interview.

“He was upset. They flew him to LA for damage control yesterday.” The chair under Ellie creaked as she sat back. Liam emerged from the room with his empty mug and smiled at the girls.

“How's Garry? Texted him this morning, said he's doing some stuff in LA.” Liam asked, leaning against the counter.

“He's okay. I'm just hoping someone surfaces those photos of Nadine. There's a time stamp on them. She had mentioned the 'day' he cheated on her, but the pictures of her dry humping that guy were before that,” Ellie said thoughtfully.

“Shit luck. Poor guy, can't ever get the chance to properly wear his heart on his sleeve.” Liam looked lost in a memory and Ellie was intrigued. She wondered what he meant by that.

“Have you two thought about going public?” Kaia asked.

“Oh fuck no. No. Hell to the no. Especially with this bullshit now? They'll tear him apart.”

“But eventually, people are going to find out about you two...” Liam said matter of factly. He wasn't wrong. But right now, one thing at a time.

 

 

Ellie finished her assignment and sprawled out on her bed. It was lonely. God, was she really becoming that girl? She didn't need Harry there every moment with her... but she did miss cuddling into him after a long day. Her phone buzzed next to her head. Harry's face appeared and she smiled widely, swiping to talk.

“‘lo love,” he chimed. God, she missed his voice. Shit, she needed to find her chill. She promised herself she wouldn't turn into the clingy type of girl.

“Hi baby,” she cooed.

“How was class?” He sounded like he was doing something on the other end.

“It was good, professor said I was in the wrong major.” She chuckled. Harry snorted.

“Because you are. Although I do love your photos.”

“Well, thank you. How’s damage control?” She heard him sigh.

“As good as it can be. We found the photos of her out, Jeff wants to release them. I'm not.. sure,” he said hesitantly.

“You’re really nice, you know that? Want me to post ‘em? You know I'm a ruthless bitch.” He laughed.

“Yeh, well, exactly why I don't want yeh to do anything. Don't want to bring you into all this.” He muttered.

“As your girlfriend, it's my job to protect you,” she said seriously.

“Innit my job to protect you?”

“Goes both ways in this relationship, I guess.” Harry chuckled a bit. They both got quiet for a moment.

“Miss you,” he muttered on the other line. Ellie frowned. He sounded so tired.

“Miss you too, babe.” Only a couple more days. She hoped.

 

 

Ellie scooped her spaghettios into her mouth, sitting on the couch cross legged. She and her friends all decided on a Marvel movie marathon, but suddenly got all engrossed in the news. Not that watching the news was a bad thing, but Kaia ended up usually cursing out whatever news report about the president was on the screen, while Clair snapchatted it and Anna went into a full fit of laughter. She honestly couldn't live without these weird ass people in her life.

“Oh, your boo thang is on inside scoop,” Ah fuck, Ellie thought as Kaia raised the volume.

“We caught up recently with popstar Harry Styles, scooping the exclusive on his breakup with model Nadine Filsco,” she said dramatically. The scene cut to Harry sitting on a black chair next to the host. He looked fucking beautiful in his simple button up and black jeans. His hair was tousled to the side and Ellie had to bite back the moan in her throat. God, she couldn't wait to dig her fingers through that mane. “Harry, you and Nadine seemed to have ended things on a bad note... how are you doing?”

“Honestly, me and Nadine had actually ended on a mutual note.. or at least I had thought we did.” That’s right baby. Fuck ‘em up, she cheered inside her head.

“So why the sudden rumors of you cheating?”

“Well, I actually hadn't cheated... in fact, I had broken up with her for something completely different.”

“Baby, what are you doing?” Ellie said, groaning and throwing her head back. She half wanted those pictures posted, but her other half knew it could possibly be flipped on him again. Making it seem like he was out for revenge.

“What reason?” The blonde insisted. Harry frowned.

“Oh fuck off, Barbie.” Clair said, glowering at the screen.

“Yeah, boo!” Kaia screamed throwing her popcorn at the TV. Ellie rolled her eyes.

“Y’all gonna have to clean this shit up,” she said, shaking her head.

“I invited her for holiday with my family. I thought we had been a bit more serious at the time. Unfortunately, I wanted something more then she did. In the end, I hope she finds what she's looking for. She was a sweet girl, just not the one for me,” he finished.

“I’m glad you were able to clear that up for us. Tune in tomorrow for the latest in entertainment.”

The broadcast ended and Ellie whipped her phone out. She texted Harry a thumbs up and heart. He replied with a kissing selfie and she smiled.

 

Jeff had said that Harry was able to return to New York the next day, so Ellie took it upon herself to head back to Harry’s apartment. She had remembered how his fridge had been empty before he left, so before she arrived she made a quick trip to Target stocking up on some stuff. She plugged her headphones in and dialed Harry’s cell.

“‘lo love,” he said enthusiastically.

“What kind of chips did you want?” She asked, walking down the aisle.

“Ehm, whatcha mean?”

“I’m doing shopping, you need food.” She heard him sigh.

“I wish you wouldn't spend money on me, doll.”

“Shut up, what chips do you want?”

“Uh, kale.” She heard him shuffling something in the background.

“Whatcha doing?”

“Packing, flight’s in a couple of hours.”

“Just waters? Or you want juice, soda?” He paused.

“Ehm, grab whatever you'd like.” She heard him texting against the phone and suddenly hers beeped.

“What did you send-HOLY FU- I mean crap!” She gasped. The old lady next to her in the aisle shot her a glare. She whispered a sorry and covered her mouth. “Harry, I’m in public-” Her phone beeped again. Oh wow. That was tasteful. Her mouth was practically drooling. “You’re a prick--Jerk! You know that?” The lady shook her head in shock and walked away, clearly disturbed at the colorful language.

“Yeah well, this what happens when I know I’m bout ta see yeh,” he purred into her ear. Suddenly her facetime lit up with his face.

“Be decent or I’m not answering,” she warned him as she made her way into another aisle, steering clear of the angry old lady. He chuckled and she picked up to see his very tired looking eyes peering out.

“You look nice at this angle,” he said. She could tell he was still shirtless.

“Thanks, it really accents my three chins.” She grabbed a pack of oreos and dumped them in the cart.

“You know if I was there, I would slap your little ass for that comment,” he said smirking. It was there new game, apparently every time she made a self-deprecating comment he'd give her swift spank on her ass. And okay, it wasn't the worst form of punishment. In fact, she kinda liked it.

“Well you’re not here. You’re about 3000 miles from here.”

“Not in eight hours, I won't be,” he challenged her. “Although I wish you could help me with that... problem.”

“Next time, don't be a horny teenager,” she said, cocking her eyebrow with a smirk. He laughed and ran a hand through his hair.

“Harry, do I really have to get Kale chips? They’re so friggen gross.” She groaned, walking towards the healthy isle. “I’m literally itching from disgust already.”

“Yes, because healthy things cause hives,” he said sarcastically. “You need to eat better, love, need you around for awhile.”

“I eat just fine, thanks,” she retorted, making a face and putting his gross green healthy snack in the cart.

“Such a child you are.”

“Am not.” She frowned.

“Love you still get the kids meals at McDonalds,” he argued.

“Hey! Fuck you! Those meals are adorable okay--I mean, who even thought of putting fries in such a cute small package--and chocolate milk is delicious!” He burst out laughing. They were silent a moment before Harry moaned a little. She looked down and her eyes went wide. “Are you... are you kidding me right now?” She giggled.

“Told you had to take care of it, love,” he said, biting his lip. “Talk to me,” he groaned. She could see his arm moving up and down and her face went completely red.

“Harry I’m in the middle of Target, no-”

“Fuck, I’m so hard for you.” He whined a bit.

“Christ--Okay, okay, call me. Get off facetime.” She hung up and his ringtone came on. She answered it and wheeled around to the back corner of the store. “You there?”

“Mmm, yeh, here pet” His voice was hard and raspy.

“Since there are people around, here.” She opened her camera roll to her X album. See, normally she was completely against nudes. She was never so much as even a little confident in her body. Comes with the territory of growing up with a younger sister who looked like Malibu Barbie. So last semester she did the unthinkable. It had been a ballsy move but she rented out a small studio space, set up her camera on self timer and took some rather artistic body nudes. Nothing too graphic, but probably enough to get Harry off. She sent him a couple and got back on the phone. She heard him open the text and he growled a bit.

“Fuck, who took these?” He stuttered a bit.

“I did... last semester for a black and white seminar class,” she said, glancing around at some of the Valentine’s Day stuff. Huh, shit, that was soon.

“Christ, I’m sweating--you’re not even here for me to touch and you've got me completely melting--”

“I like when you’re worked up, baby,” she said lowly, making sure no one else could hear. He grunted a few times. “God, you sound so amazing. Wish it was my mouth doing that to you--” A mom and few kids ran past her and she froze. Aww, cute little baby, she thought as the chubby little thing gave her smile from the cart.

“I love how your mouth fits perfect around my cock--” He edged on a bit. “ What would yeh do if you were here, hm?”

“Probably swallow you hole. Spitters are quitters.”

“Funny--Shit, I’m gonna cum-” She heard him moan a bit “Ah fuck--” She knew he had cum, his breathing suddenly rapid. After a moment, her cheeks flaming red she smiled wickedly to herself.

“So...” She began after a bit. “Condoms?” She walked to the aisle as Harry started to laugh again.

“Yeh, a lot.”


	20. Chapter 20

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My loves. My sweets. My babes.double update for yall because your the best. ALSO im making everything as consistant as possible! i have adhd so sometimes i forget things easily so i am re reading but in case i miss, Please point it out! im so sorry if i do!

After Ellie had loaded up Harry's fridge, she decided to head to her apartment for the night. She had class tomorrow and she was closer to school by there. She really wanted to be at his place though, curled up in that huge bed, with sheets that smelled like him. God, she had gotten so sappy it was gross. So here she was, curled up later that night on the couch. One of her fall TV shows playing in the background. Her phone lit up and she grabbed it expecting Harry’s name to pop up. Henry? Oh shit, Henry! She hadn't heard from him since before she left for England. He had wished her a happy holidays, having gone back to California to spend it with his family. She should probably update him on the happenings between her and harry. He was always relatively interested in there odd dynamic. Guess it came with his future psychiatry degree.

 

Ellie woke on the couch to someone pushing her hair out of her face and placing a kiss on her forehead. She smiled sleepily and opened her eyes all the way to see Harry in the dim light.

“‘lo love,” he whispered.

“Time is it?” She asked, turning around to him.

“Bout 1am,” he said, leaning down and pressing his lips to hers. She sighed happily, tasting his familiar minty toothpaste and inhaling her favorite cologne. He kissed down her jaw line and pressed his nose into her neck. She wrapped her arms around him and he lifted her up, putting her legs around his waist. He carried her to her room and laid her down on the big comfy bed. She sighed in happiness as she removed his shirt and pants, crawling next to her. She settled against him, his arms curling around her waist. She decided her most safest place was being in Harry's arms. It had been since they first met, but she never wanted to admit it. Now she could swear by it if she wanted to. She felt his lips kiss the back of her neck.

“How was your flight?” She asked wearily.

“S'alright. Missed my beauty, though,” he whispered lovingly into her ear. She couldn't help but smile wide. She was never this lucky, and yet here she was feeling like the luckiest person on earth. She turned in his arms, to face those beautiful green eyes in the dark. He gave her a half smile and brushed her hair behind her ear.

“Why'd you come here?” She asked, eyes closing as his hand rubbed small circles on her back.

“Can't sleep to well when ‘m alone.” Neither could she if she was being honest. Sleep was kind of her weak point usually. Waking up or staying awake insane hours. Anxiety really sucked, it could really fuck with you. “Saw the empty bed-figured you were here.” He pulled her into his chest, resting his chin on her head. He smelled amazing, having probably showered before coming over.

“No funny business, ya girl has class in seven hours,” she said as his hand snaked into her panties. He pouted child-like and she giggled. “Don't be spoiled.”

“I‘m not. Just missed you. Wanted to be closer-” She felt him whisper against her neck. Ah, fuck it. He kissed his way down her neck and slid his fingers into her panties, pulling them off hungrily and tossing them on the side of the bed. Positioning himself between her legs, he smiled up at her, slowly trailing kisses down her inner thighs. She inhaled sharply at the sensitivity as he hovered just above her now throbbing heat. He licked his lips, ready to devour her whole.

“H-harry, you’re killing me here-” She groaned impatiently. He laughed.

“Sorry, pet, just admiring how wet you are for me.” He leaned down and darted his tongue right between her folds. She gasped at the sudden contact and he gripped her thighs tightly in his hands. Sure to leave bruises from his rings. She didn't give a fuck though, she was in pure ecstasy mode. She’d never really dabbled in oral sex before, and her first time was so quick they didn't do foreplay. But Harry? He was like a fucking king when it came to this. It was like he wanted to play the game of how many times could he get you to cum before actually fucking into you. She reached down and entangled her fingers into his chocolate brown curls. Every so often, he’d hit the right spot and she’d thrust her hips forward begging for it.

“Oh-Holy fuck!” She moaned, not realizing her grip tightened and she pulled at his hair. He lifted his head up, mouth glistening with her arousal. “ Shit sorry did I hurt you?”

“Did you just pull my hair?” She watched his smile wickedly at her.

“Uh ye--FUCK!” She didn't have time to finish her thought before she felt his hand slap her ass. Her toes curled in pleasure.

“Pull it harder, pet,” he growled. Did he just... okay. He began eating her again, sucking hard at her clit making her gasp loudly and arch off the bed. He pushed her hips down, her hands once again yanking at him. “Fucking hell--” He moaned into her.

 

“H-Harry! I’m gonna- cum” She stuttered out, her thighs beginning to quake. He slipped three fingers into her and curled them upward, grazing her inner walls. She felt lightheaded as the orgasm built up, she screwed her eyes shut.

“Gonna cum in my mouth, pretty girl? That what you want?” He said, once again sucking her clit and fucking her deep, right up to his knuckles. She nodded shakily.

“Mmm, yes please-”

“Please what, pet?” He said teasingly.

“C-Cum, baby, I need to cum!” She could barely breathe as he hit her g-spot, causing her to gasp loudly and clench around his hand. She felt herself drip down her legs, Harry’s tongue licking her clean. Fuck, he was so dirty. Trying to catch her breath, she stared at her ceiling completely blissed out. Harry stood up and grabbed her discarded panties, slipping them back up her legs. She turned to him, still breathless. He smiled and leaned down, kissing her passionately.

“Wa-wait What about you?” she said, sitting up. Harry laughed and shook his head.

“I’m good, love.” He winked.

“No way, you... you did not just get off making me cum.” She looked at him in shock. “Did you seriously--”

“I told you, pet, all I need is your voice. And seeing you in pleasure all from my tongue was enough for me.” He purred seductively, leaning down and kissing her collarbone.

“That’s like a superpower. I'm gonna use it like crazy now.” He laughed and pulled her into him.

“Don't you dare, naughty girl.”

“Oh, just wait ‘till you piss me off,” she said jokingly. He poked her side, making her jump. “No, Harry do-” But it was to late, his hands tickling her worst tickle spots making her giggle like crazy holding her down. She couldn't stop giggling and Harry finally released her. She sighed and curled up against his chest, falling asleep instantly.

 

 

Leaving Harry was proving to be difficult. Especially because her first class was lecture hall and art history was the most boring subject. However, throughout the day, he'd send her memes of him, making her giggle and sometimes drawing attention. Most of the photography students at Parsons were pretty cutthroat kind of people. Considering it was one of their smaller select programs, she really had to strive to make herself noticeable. However, even though there were alot of pretentious bitches, she made friends with a couple of really chill girls and guys. Luckily for her, the photo majors all seemed to have the relatively same schedules, so when she walked into her second class that day, she almost squealed with happiness to see Mia, Nora, and Mike. They smiled and waved her over.

“Holy shit, how was your holiday?” Mia asked, hugging her. Oh, it was good, just made out with my best friend, eventually got together with him and he gave me the best orgasm this morning.

“It was fun,” she replied, sitting next to her.

“Dude, I can't believe it. The chick is literally out to get him,” Mike said his eyes on his twitter account. Ellie furrowed her brows in confusion.

“Who’s out to get who?” She asked. looking over at his phone.

“That Nadine chick that Harry Styles was dating. She’s like rampaging on twitter. It’s fucking hysterical,” he replied. Ellie paled. Will this shit ever end? Honestly, probably not. Nadine got so fucking butthurt he ended it first, and then called her out on it that she's probably taking a full on vengeance.

Ellie grabbed her phone, and shot a text to Harry.

Ellie:

Don’t go on twitter. Xx

Her phone buzzed a second later.

Harold the boyf:

Duly noted x

 

Class started and for two hours, Ellie paid more attention to editing some photos, then she did to the professor. She already knew color schemes other dynamics into photo manipulation. However, usually her first day of new classes are just bullshit review. She accidently clicked on her twitter page, and of course the front page ‘Nadine vs. Harry Styles’ headline showed up. She frowned. God, this bitch was haunting them. She scrolled away and saw some news about comic con. Shit, she had to get her tickets for next October, and a few new articles involving some new comic books.

Suddenly, her phone buzzed. Henry. She smiled.

Henrawr:

Glad it all worked out! How r u though?

 

Ellie:

Pretty good actually. Self doubt is still there but.. I'll get over it.

Henrawr:

Have you been going to your psychiatrist?

 

She sighed. Yeah, she had. But, she was still not a fan. Sure her panic attacks had been better and her depression seemed to ease up, but she still didn't like having to live on medication. Her step-father's voice sat in the back of her head. 'It's all in your head. You don't need it,' he'd say, rolling his eyes. 'It's just an attention-seeking method.' Her mother, as much as she wasn't a fan of her at the moment, at least understood a bit. She was the one who suggested the psychiatrist even though her step father fought tooth and nail. The uneasy feeling suddenly sank in. Crap.

Ellie:

Yeah, I have an appointment next week.

Henrawr:

Well I’m always here if you need. Kinda my future job, lol

Ellie:

Mucho appreciated *thumbs up smiley face*

 

–

 

Ellie finally made it back to Harry's, feeling completely relieved. No class tomorrow, but she had a full day of work. The grind of her life before harry had been normal. Class work home, repeat. But now? At least she got to come back to her favorite person’s arms after it all. She opened his door and dropped her book bag on the couch.

“Lucy, I’m home!” She called out jokingly. Harry walked out of his bedroom.

“Who’s Lucy?” He asked, dumbfounded.

“Oh dear god. You seriously don't know that show?” She sighed at his confused face. “Fucking Brits. Anyway, I hope you avoided the internet.” She grumbled undressing her coat.

“Of course, but that didn't stop Jeff from group-chatting it. She called me a dirty bastard.” Ellie laughed.

“Well, you are dirty. But you’re my bastard,” she said, leaning up on her tippy toes, kissing him softly. “Get short, it's starting to hurt to reach you.” He laughed and patted her ass affectionately. She winced and glared at him. “No, fuck off, you left a handprint last night. My ass is off limits for the next couple of days.” She noticed him pale a bit.

“Ellie, I’m-” She held her hand up.

“Do not apologize.” She laughed. “I never said I didn't like it.” He smirked.

“Oh, Gems is visiting next week,” he said, walking up to her and sitting on the kitchen island. Ellie narrowed her eyes at him.

“Get your butt off my clean counter.” She whacked his thigh and he chuckled. “And oh yeah? Do they... ya know?” She gestured between herself and him.

“Oh! Oh yeah, I actually called Gems the day after.” His cheeks flushed a bit and Ellie couldn't fight the smile. “She ehm, wasn't surprised. Neither was mum.” He rubbed the back of his neck. Ellie turned to him and placed her hands on his upper thighs. She bit her bottom lip and looked up at him. “Whas' that look?”

“I’m really glad they’re okay with it,” she said finally.

“Okay with it? They're practically begging for a wedding date.” He snorted, Ellie giggled and rolled her eyes.

“Yeah well, that's all up to you. I’m shit at planning things,” she said, going to the fridge. Harry grabbed her sleeve and pulled her back in his arms. He leaned down and rested his forehead against hers. Both his hands caressing her cheeks. “Can I help you?”

“Ya know, I’m glad I have yeh,” he said softly. She smiled up at him. “Most girls would be gone by now with the whole Nadine thing...”

“Good thing I’m a weirdo. then.” She half-smiled.

“My weirdo though. My sweet goofy nerdy little petal.” He kissed her gently at first. Ellie ran her hands down to his neck and pulled him closer, deepening it. He tasted like cherries, his aftershave strongly embracing her. She could never get enough of him. She'll never want to get enough of him. She felt her phone buzz. Ignoring it, she ran her hands down his chest, dragging the tips of her nails easily. She felt him shiver under her touch. 

“Naughty little pet.” He smirked into her kiss. She laughed, pulling away. “Oh no--Get back over here,” he said, smirking. She shook her head and backed up before running towards his room. He ran after her as she tried to get to the bed. But he was faster on his long ass legs, slipping his arms around her waist and hauling her backwards effortlessly. She yelped and tried to squirm away, but he was to strong, lifting her up and over his shoulder.

“Harry, I swear to god, if you drop me--” She laughed, hanging loosely against him,

“No no, bad girls need to learn their lesson--tired of you giving me blue balls.” He chuckled, kicking the bathroom door open.

“I’m gonna fucking kill you--Harry, no!” He turned the water on and she tried to free herself as he pushed back the large glass door and put her under the sprayer. She gasped swatted at him as he burst out into full on laughter. “DICK!” She continued laughing as he set her down. Both of them were now drenched and under the water. He leaned down and grabbed her in a heated kiss, breaking her giggle fit. She moaned a bit as his hands traveled down and pulled her soaking wet leggings off. She fumbled with his jeans and he messily kicked out of them, tossing them in a sloppy wet pile. 

Within seconds, they stood nude pressed against each other, hands grabbing at anything to hold them steady. Ellie reached between them and stroked at his hard length, he hissed at the sudden contact, his head now resting on her shoulder where he began sucking at her skin.

“Mmm, fuck--just like that baby girl--so good,” he praised her. She rested her back against the cool granite tiles, both his hands now anchoring the sides of her head as she stroked him tenderly. She bent down, grabbing his hips. “Holy fuck-” her mouth found the tip of his cock, she licked a stripe on the underside of him and he shuddered in her grip. She worked her lips up and down, in a beautiful rhythm. He looked down between his wet hair to see her gaze staring up at him, looking devilishly innocent. He had to hold himself from cuming just from that. She moaned around his arousal, his fingers scratching at the wall.

“I’m-I’m gonna cum if you keep that up, pet,” He groaned. With that, she popped off at his tip and stood up. He could see his pre-cum dripping from her swollen lips, as her tongue darted out and licked up the mess. This woman was going to kill him. She was going to fucking destroy him in one motion. Without a second thought, he took hold of her ass and lifted her up, slamming her against the wall once more. She gasped as he buried his face between her breasts, kissing and nipping at them hungrily. 

“So beautiful, always so beautiful,” he complimented, sending pleasurable vibes through her. Every time he admired her, she'd get so turned on. Shed never experienced something like this. Someone who truly adored her in every way. She didn't feel self-conscious around him. She didn't feel nervous around him. She felt completely perfect when he had her like this, soaking wet, makeup under her eyes, his cum dripping from her chin. He stared up at her with his beautiful emerald irises, and all she could see was pure intent. 

In that moment, as he held her against him, sandwiched between the wall and his beautiful tattooed chest, she felt it. A warm sensation swimming through her veins and around her body. She loved him. Oh my god. She fucking loved him.

Realization of this only amplified her senses, as he pushed his cock deep within her heat. She gasped and threw her head back, hands gripping his biceps. He let out a moan, her name sounding toxic falling from those perfect lips.

“My god--So tight for me, baby girl,” he whispered into her ear. She whimpered as he pulled back and slammed into her again, bottoming out. She was seeing white and stars as she continued to fuck her senseless. She could feel her nails leaving crescent marks, and by the sound of it, he seemed to liked that. “You love me so deep inside yeh, don't you, my pet?” He kissed under her ear and she inhaled sharply.

“Fuck, Harry--So good, baby--keep going,” she said, encouraging him. “I’m--I’m gonna cum--” Her voice quivered. He smiled and kissed her passionately, her mouth widening as she came undone in his arms. He held her tightly to him as she went limp from her orgasmic high. With a few thrusts and her walls clenching, she felt him cum as well, his cum dripping down her legs. She slowly untangled her legs from his waist, almost falling from the feeling of weakness. She stared at him lovingly as he watched her, reach between her thighs and wipe the cum with her fingers. She licked it away, never breaking eye contact.

“Are you trying to fucking kill me?” He asked, resting his forehead on hers, the shower water turning cool. She smirked and licked it from her lips.

“Maybe. Is it working?” He laughed, still breathless and rested his head on her shoulder as she smiled and ran a hand threw his wet hair.

“Fuckin love yeh.” She froze at his words. He must've noticed because he immediately looked up and frowned. “I-I didn't mean-”

“I love you too,” she said before she chickened out. His jaw clenched and he stared into her eyes, checking to see if she said it on accident as reflex or if she really meant it.

“Y-You do?” He asked cautiously, his hands resting on her cheeks, wiping away at the mascara lines dripping down. She nodded enthusiastically.

“Yeah. I really fucking do.” She laughed a little and he pulled her into him, wrapping them into a strong embrace. He pressed kisses to her head and cheeks and neck repeatedly. She loved this about him. She loved his playfulness, the fact that even though he was a grown man, he still could get excited like a 10-year-old on Christmas.

“I do too, I love you a lot,” he whispered. And as they stood in the shower, holding one another, Ellie couldn't help but think that for the first time in a very long time. She was going to be okay.


	21. Chapter 21

Ellie possibly hated February more than she hated December and January, and it’s almost definitely because of the fucking cold and the fucking snow. But as soon as she woke up this morning, she knew today was going to be hellish. From her sleeping in late, to booking it across Manhattan to her class, only to find out they had canceled ‘due to the impending Nor'easter,’ to heading into work, but not before tripping and falling on her ass on the subway, to getting to work and finding out she had her schedule mixed up, right up to her experiencing possibly the worse cramps she's had since she was in high school. Basically today was a day she wanted to curl up and die. But of course, that was too much to ask for. She trudged up to Harry's apartment, pretty much bent over in agony as she walked out of the elevator and unlocked the door.

“Yeh, perfect, Jeff--yeh, we can shoot next week? Oh gotta go--I’ll tell her you say hi.” She watched his lips curl into a huge grin when he caught sight of her. “Lo' darling,” he said as she groaned and kicked off her boots and jacket. He immediately realized something was wrong and frowned. “What's happened?”

“I‘m fine. I just need my damn sweatpants,” she grumbled, clenching her teeth as a sharp pain shot through her pelvis. Goddamn periods. Guys had it so fucking easy. She walked past him and into his room. She pulled his drawer open and grabbed a pair of his big Adidas sweatpants. At least she'll feel a little better in these. She slipped them on and then pulled on her tank top after literally throwing her bra forcefully at the door. “Fucking boobs.” Harry ducked and he couldn't help but smirk as he leaned against the door frame, crossing his arms.

“Rough day, love?” He asked as she pulled her hair in a bun and flopped on their bed.

“I wanna die,” she grumbled from the pillows. He sighed and walked over.

“Be more comfy if you were under the covers.” She sighed as he walked over and rubbed her back.

“Can't. Have to go back out.” He furrowed his brows.

“But you’re in pain,” he said, confused.

“I need to pick up tampons.” Fuck it. Dudes know things. That's what health class is for. He froze like a deer in headlights before coming to the realization of what was happening.

“Oh...plugs,” he said as he gently rubbed her back. She looked up at him cocking an eyebrow.

“What...the... fuck... did you just call them?” She asked. He laughed.

“Plugs?”

“That sounds so fucking painful.”

“And ‘tampon’ doesn't? The whole thing seems painful...” He trailed off in thought. She sighed again and made to move, but he stopped her. “No--No I'll go get them. Just relax, alright?”

“Harry--I’m not sending you to Duane Reed for fucking tampons. What if you’re photographed?” He laughed.

“Maybe I’ll get us a brand deal then.” He winked as he leaned down and kissed her hair. She swatted at him.

“You’re so fucking weird.”

“Which ones do you get, love?” He asked, standing up and pulling his hoodie on with a beanie. He looked so comfy. Half of her was about to say fuck it and have him just stay and cuddle and rub her back some more. Felt goddamn godly. Knowing this was a losing battle, she picked her phone up and sent him a picture.

“Harry, are you sure-”

“I lived in a house of women for most of my life, Ell. I think I’m capable of picking up some plugs for yeh.” He slipped his wallet in his pocket.

“Oh shit--Here.” She sent him a text with her info for the pharmacist. “Can you grab these?” He read it over.

“This says naproxen--Aren’t those really strong pain killers?” His face paled as he looked at her completely alert. “Christ, how much pain are you in? What did you do?”

“It’s fine, I take them for cramps. But I also fell on my ass today. They’re for the cramps, though.” He frowned sympathetically at her.

“Petal, I‘m sorry you have to go through this.” He leaned down and kissed her cheek. “I’ll be back in twenty.”

 

 

She must've dozed off, because Harry placed a whole bunch of bags down on the bed, causing her to stir. She looked up blearily in his direction. He looked a bit frazzled as she tossed his wet stuff in the bathroom.

“What's all this?” She asked, stretching out.

“Shit, sorry, love didn't mean to wake yeh,” he said, emptying the bags. “Did a bit of a shop for the apartment.

“I went shopping the other day...”

“Right, but you forgot some things.”

“Like what?” She asked, sitting up. He pulled out like three boxes of tampons and she couldn't help but smile. “Wow, you are good. Same brand and everything,” she said, putting them down. He smiled triumphantly to her as he unloaded some other stuff. She reached over and took a huge box in her hand. “You got a heating pad for me?”

“Ehm, yeh' pharmacist said it helps. She asked about the medicine, explained it to her. Rather odd actually... She fist bumped me.” Ellie giggled and he shook his head in amusement. “Also got you some ginger ale for the nausea, ehm.. chocolate. Your favorite, Kit Kats and Hershey bars--Oh and some more of your body wash--saw you were running low.” He continued on, mostly talking his thoughts aloud. Ellie covered her mouth. Goddamn hormones. Goddamn period. She wasn't about to cry for fuck’s sake. Oh my god...is that?

“You... you bought me McDonalds?” She reached over and took the bag.

“Yup, picked up your favorite order and--oh my god, are you crying? Love, what's wrong? Are you alright?” He ran to her and pulled her into his chest, rubbing her back. She let a sob escape. Fucking hell, this man was perfect.

“I’m--I’m fine, you just... you brought me all this stuff and you didn't have to and--and you’re so fucking sweet. You literally went out and risked your life for chicken nuggets for me--” She sat back and grabbed his cheeks in her hands. “I literally don't deserve you, you perfect fucking human.” He smiled so wide, she'd never seen his dimples go so deep. His cheeks flushed a bit red.

“S'alright love, just a couple of things--” She shook her head.

“No--you literally are fucking awesome.” She kissed him and then curled up against his chest. She heard his chest rumble from his little laugh, his hand rubbing against her back soothingly.

“Love, ‘bout I grab you a water, you take your medicine, I’ll plug in your heater, and you can relax yeh?” He whispered into her ear. Holy fuck. A true man. She smiled and nodded, thanking whatever god for this man in front of her.

 

Ellie met up with Kaia, Anna, and Clair for lunch the next week. She hadn't gotten to see them much with school and everything, so she definitely needed girl time. They all sat around at this little Italian place a couple blocks from Harry's.

 

“How’re classes going?” Ellie asked Anna, scooping up some of her pasta. Anna smiled and went on about how she was getting one of her articles published in a magazine, and her professors were super helpful.

“Oh and Gwen’s actually coming down for Valentine’s Day,” Anna squealed. Ellie smiled brightly for her. Gwen was Anna's year-long girlfriend. She was a beautiful platinum blonde English major, but unfortunately went to Penn State, so Anna rarely got a chance to see her.

“Aw, thats awesome! What are you guys gonna do? You know, besides have amazing 'miss you' sex.” Anna flushed and looked down. She shrugged.

“Not sure, but she says she's got a surprise in store for me.”

“What about you guys? Clair, I know it's your favorite one and done holiday--” Ellie said, laughing a bit. Clair rolled her eyes.

“Actually, got a date. Matched with this kid named Hero the other day. Been talking a bit,” she replied, winking.

“Hero? Sounds like a fucking catfish,” Kaia said rolling her eyes.

“No, he's just foreign,” she argued back.

“What happened to Niall?” Ellie asked, frowning. “Thought you two were talking...”

“Oh, we are. But he's in Ireland. Not gonna be around, unfortunately.” She looked disappointed for a moment.

“Is Liam coming by?” Ellie sipped at her soda and Kaia smiled.

“Actually, he's flying me to Miami. Performing a show there or something,”

“Ahh, yes! Get it, Kai,” she said, giggling. Kaia blushed and kicked her under the table.

“Fuck off, okay? He literally treats me so right… I love it.”

“So if he's getting you to Miami, you know people are gonna see you with him.” Kaia looked at her for a moment.

“So..?”

“Aren't you worried?”

“Why would I be worried?”

“Because, aren't their fans a little... crazy sometimes?” Kaia frowned.

“I mean, I don't really care. I'm going to support him, people can say what they want.” She seemed to get a bit defensive and Ellie frowned looking down at her food. Sometimes it fucking hurt that she couldn't go out to dinner with Harry. Or even go shopping with him. “Sorry, I just meant--”

“No, it’s fine. Honestly, my fault anyway,” Ellie mumbled a bit looking away. She felt like it was her fault all the time. Especially because Harry literally wouldn't care and she knew it.

“So... what are you and Harry going to do?” Clair said, trying to ease the tension.

“Uh, not sure. I’m not big on the whole Valentine’s Day thing.”

“Okay but he is, apparently it's like his thing--” Clair began to explain how in an article she read he was the romantic one and how he always did really amazing things for girls on Valentine’s Day. And sure that all sounded nice and well, but she could literally be content with some take away and a rom com.

 

When Ellie got back, she spotted Harry in the kitchen, facetiming his mom. She smiled as he finished cooking whatever it was he was cooking and he looked up and gave her a toothy grin.

“Yeah, mum, she's right here--” He handed Ellie the phone and she smiled.

“Hey Anne!” She said happily.

“Hello sweetheart! Was just telling Harry how much I missed you both!” 

Ellie laughed. “I miss you too!”

“Has he been taking good care of you?”

“Mum--” Harry whined and Ellie stuck her tongue out at him.

“Yeah, he's been awesome.”

“Well, good then! Alright, I have to go. Tell my son to behave. Love you both!” She said, hanging up. Ellie handed Harry the phone back and he thanked her. She sat at the island as he put his grilled chicken into his freshly made salad. She picked a piece out and he glared at her.

“Rude,” he said as she made a face. “How was lunch?”

“Eh, fine.” She played with his fork and he stared at her curiously.

“Alright, what happened?” He put his food down and crossed his arms.

“Nothing happened, why do you assume something happened?” She said, standing up and looking away. She hated that he could read her like a book. It was obnoxious sometimes.

“Because you won't make eye contact with me.”

“So that doesn't mean anythings wrong,” she grumbled. Harry walked around the table and laid his arms on her shoulders, looking at her deeply.

“We have to be honest with each other, love,” he said softly, brushing her hair back.

“You uhm... you're not like secretly harboring hate towards me because I don't want to go public yet, right?” He stopped, completely taken off guard.

“Ellanore, why would you say that?” She turned away and he grabbed her chin, forcing her to look at him. “El...”

“I... Well, Kaia is going to Liam’s show or some shit in Miami and I asked her if it bothered her about his fans or media knowing and she basically insinuated she didn't care and that she supports him...” She sighed. “I just want you to know I support you. Like 100%. Because I do. I just...” She was getting worked up, her breath becoming rapid as she basically rambled on. Harry could tell she was getting panicky and he shook his head.

“Hey, hey, listen. You're alright. I get it. I mean, would I like you by my side during events and what not? Sure. But I'm not going to force you or anything..”

“It’s not that you're forcing me, it’s just... I feel like you’d get bad backlash right now with the whole Nadine thing and people would actually think you cheated and--” He stopped her by pressing his lips to hers. She swallowed a gasp, completely relaxing in his hands, melting like putty in his long fingers. When he pulled away he caressed her cheek with his thumb.

“When you’re ready... so will I,” he said softly. And he meant it. Every word. Because in that moment, he let her go and smirked finishing his salad. Sighing contently, Ellie went to change and possibly take the best nap of her life.


	22. Chapter 22

Harry smiled hearing Ellie's voice echoing from the shower in the bathroom. She sounded beautiful serenading to the country song on her phone. He was going over some emails from management. He had a couple of radio promo shows later this month, one in LA, one in Atlanta, one in Florida. Maybe Ellie would like to come with him for some. She'd love LA. Warm weather, beaches. His mind went to her in a bikini and he shivered. The only thing he'd have to do is convince her. He looked at the open door and heard her belt out the lyrics chorus to Rascal Flatts. He pulled up one of his browsers, reading over the confirmations for his Valentine’s Day dinner. He knew she wasn't really into it, or so she says but it’s because she’s never properly had one. One where the person truly loves her, and wants to see her face light up when she sees it for the first time. The water shut off and out walked Ellie wrapped in a towel. He smiled up at her, as she grabbed a shirt from his drawer and pulled it over her wet hair.

“Whatcha doing?” She asked walking over and straddling his legs. He closed his computer and put it to the side, biting his bottom lip.

“Don't make plans for Thursday,” he said, pushing her hair behind her ear. She narrowed her eyes, confused.

“What’s Thursday?” She giggled as he pulled her higher onto his hips.

“I’m taking you out for Valentines Day. Don't worry. It’s private,” he said quickly, seeing her face falter. She relaxed and interlocked their fingers. He admired how beautiful she looked in his clothes. He couldn't get enough of seeing his shirts on her. Turning him on instantly.

“Harry, you sure?”

“Sure about taking my beautiful girlfriend out for dinner on Valentine’s Day? Yeh, love, pretty sure.” He smirked and poked her side, making her squeal. “I love how you look in my t-shirts,” he said, sliding his hand under the hem and grazing the skin on her waist. Goosebumps rose under his fingertips. She laughed a little and blushed.

“Yeah? I kinda feel bad, like my tits are stretching them out.” Frowning, she grabbed her chest and looked up at him. He chuckled and swatted her hands away.

“‘scuse you, I rather enjoy those tits, thank yeh very much.” She leaned forward and kissed him slowly.

“Good, ‘cause they like you back,” she whispered against his lips.

 

Ellie looked over in bed next to her. Her sketch pad in hand, pencils sprawled around her as her ideas came to life. She watched Harry typing up an email, his feet tucked under the thick blanket. She imagined what this would be like. Her future with him. Both 40 and resting next to one another after a day of work or life. They'd both come home, curl up under the covers, safe from their everyday stresses. She never really imagined herself married. Or even that anyone could really love her. But as the curly-haired man next to her worked on his laptop and she sketched in her book, this life would be a dream. Hell, it was a dream. And she had to remind herself everyday that there was reason Harry had to chose her. He always chose her.

“You're thinkin’ a bit hard there, petal.” His raspy voice brought her back to reality. “What’s on your mind?” He didn't look up from the screen, but she could see him smiling.

“Just thinking. We look like a 40-year-old married couple.” She giggled and he turned to her.

“Do not,” he said before looking around and then making a face. “Alright, we do. Although I'm not opposed to it. Kinda like unwinding with you everyday, yeh'?” She put her drawing book down for a minute and cuddled up next to him, resting her head on his shoulder.

“Yeah?”

“Course,” he said, kissing her forehead. “‘sides, you really opposed to being married by 40?” He raised his eyebrows.

“Not really. Is this your pre-proposal? Cause it’s kinda crappy.” He laughed and squeezed her side. “We’ve only been dating a year, Romeo, slow down,” she said, burying her face in his chest.

“Whas' that your drawing? Am I allowed to look?” He cautiously reached over and she surprisingly let him.

“It’s for my illustration class,” she said as he began to flip the pages in fascination. He stopped on one of the drawings and looked up.

“What’s this?” He held up the drawing from her live art class.

“A drawing?” She said, laughing. Nope. He looked mad. Please tell me he's not jealous, she thought.

“Funny. I mean, why is he nude?” He said without humor.

“Because that's what you draw in live drawing class?” She rolled her eyes and got off the bed, grabbing her pencils and erasers and packing them up. She was met with silence and... yup, still glaring at her. “Wipe that look off your face.”

“I didn't realize you'd be drawing about... so far ten different naked men for class,” he said, continuing to find more and more sketches. Of course, he stops and finds the rather explicit detail drawing of one of the model’s penises. He whipped his head around, cheeks flaring red. And there’s the temper, she thought bitterly, sighing to herself. “Are you joking?”

“It’s art,” she defended, grabbing the drawing book.

“It’s inappropriate,” he argued back.

“How is it inappropriate?” She closed the book and shoved in the bag.

“Because I’m your boyfriend and I find it a bit inappropriate for my girlfriend to be drawing rather detailed imagery.” He crossed arms and pouted like a child.

“Stop being ridiculous, Harry. It’s a goddamn college course. And I need it. So you can get over it.”

“Why are the models so young then?”

“Why do you care?!” She shot at him, her voice raising. He narrowed his eyes and shut his laptop, putting it on the nightstand.

“Because don't they hire--I don't know, older unattractive people for the modeling?!”

“Why does it matter if they’re old or young? I’m there to draw them, not fuck them!” With that, she rubbed at her temples and tossed her stuff on the floor. “I can't believe you’re picking a fight with me over a fucking art class.”

“Yes, I’m completely pissed off about a fucking art class, Ellanore.” He huffed and violently turned his back to her.

Climbing into bed, she stuck her feet in the blanket and pulled it tight around her, shutting her light off. She felt the bed shift. What she expected was a kiss and his arms sliding around her waist... What she was met with was silence and soon, his light snores.

 

 

For the next couple of days, Ellie kept her distance. Mainly hauling up in her studio and painting. She just really wasn't in the mood for the continuing attitude of her boyfriend. He's uncomfortable because she has to take live drawing classes? Who cares who's naked in front of her. They’re models. It’s their job. Of course Harry didn't see it that way. But she constantly reassured him she only wanted him. A couple of the models had actually talked to her, but she explained she had a boyfriend and they respectfully let her be. She checked her iphone. 7pm. She had pretty much been here since 10am, doing different things like photo editing on her laptop, finishing up sketches and paintings. Of course, a couple of them were of Harry, so she was immediately displeased and started a new task. Avoiding him had been relatively easy as Jeff had Harry booked up on Good Morning America, Live with Kelly, and she was pretty sure he was flying to LA next week. With a sigh, she gave in and packed her stuff up.

As much as she wanted to hide out at her apartment, she decided that Anna needed it more. Clair had been out every night with that new kid and Kaia flew to Miami last night to meet up with Liam. So she really had to just suck it up and stop being petty. As she stepped outside, she debated a cab before deciding that 10 blocks wasn't that bad of a walk tonight. The city lights and sounds were all around her, and sometimes it truly helped her rather overworked mind. She had always loved the city. Others found it overwhelming, but as someone who truly hated being alone this city perfect. By the seventh block, she almost turned and headed back as her phone buzzed.

Harold the boyf:  
We need to talk.

Oh god. Fuck. She knew what that meant. Is he going to fucking break up with her? Over her fucking class? Anger. Panic. Sadness. Anger again. Anxiety. He breathing became flustered and she started to feel her hands shake. God damn it. Trying to calm herself she inhaled ten seconds and out. Why the fuck is he blowing this out of fucking proportion?! Before she knew it, she was in front of the door. She could leave. She could book it back down the elevator and go. No. Not this time. She needed to learn to stand her ground. And whatever were to happen can happen. Even if it will probably destroy her. She pushed the door open and took her last deep breath.

There he stood, arms crossed over his broad chest. His white t-shirt displaying the black ink covering his skin.

“First of all, you’re an asshole.” She began throwing her stuff down. He didn't move. “I can’t fucking believe I let you make me feel like crap about a MANDATORY art class! Second--that is literally NO REASON TO BREAK UP WITH SOMEONE, DAMN IT! IT’S NOT EVEN A LITTLE SEXUAL! Third--Well... I don't have a third point, BUT IF I DID, I’D BE YELLING IT!” She walked right up to him, frazzled.

“You done?” He said darkly, his eyes narrowing at her dangerously. She clenched her jaw.

“YES!” She yelled in his face.

“I want you to draw me,” he said simply. Taken aback, she looked at him.

“Excuse me?” Her nostrils flared. She came all the way here in the middle of a panic attack for him to fucking ask that? “I ALREADY DRAW YOU, ASSHOLE!”

“I meant nude,” he said seriously. Holy fuck, she thought.

“You want me to what--?”

“Draw me. Completely. Nude.”

“Yeah but... but-”

“But what? You do it when it’s 'strangers,' do you not?”

“I mean, yeah, but-”

“Then do it to me. Right now,” he said, determined.

“You made me have a god damn panic attack because I thought you were breaking up with me for the past three blocks, just so you can request me to draw you like one of Jack’s French girls?” She asked in disbelief. “No, fuck you!” She said, going to turn away but he caught her by her waist.

“I dare you.” He growled in her ear. Welp. This was getting harder by the second.

“No, I’m still mad at you--”

“I want to see what it's like.” She stopped and looked up at him. “You know I adore your art... I want to see what it feels like.” She would be a liar if she said she hasn't thought about drawing him naked. As shallow as it may come off, she has always rather adored his body. From his hard chest, to his little love handles. To the way his biceps curve, and the tattoos all over him like a beautiful graffiti painting. The way his long legs go from muscled thighs to thin calves.

“You’re so serious right now,” she said when it finally clicked. He nodded once.

“Deadly,” he responded. After a moment, she didn't think twice, nodding her head. He pulled his shirt over his head and she stopped him.

“Wait--” He paused, looking at her. “N-Not here.”

“Where else-”

“I want to show you something.” He nodded and pulled his shirt back down and they grabbed their coats. If she was going to do this, she wanted it to be done right.

 

–

He'd heard about it. She's mentioned her studio quite a few times. He'd never seen it, though, or even knew where it was. They'd both hopped in his car, Dale dropping them off knowing exactly where to go. When they got out, Ellie walked up to the rather sketchy looking brick building, unlocking the door. He stuck his hands in his hoodie and looked around under the one dim light. She pushed it open and they walked past a sleeping guard at the front desk. Harry looked around the modern-ish, white hallway, passing gray heavy doors with gold plaques. They stopped at an elevator and waited for it to reach their floor. He had to admit, his plan was sort of perfect. I mean, he'd been generally upset about her class, but after a talk with Clare, Mitch, and Sarah, he was reassured he was an asshole. But of course, he was also a stubborn prick, so instead of admitting his wrongs, he felt like this would make up for it. Also he really did want to experience this. Even if Ellanore had pretty much seen everything and he means everything, this was much more intimate to him.

Ellie flicked the fluorescent lights on and put her stuff down on the small couch in the corner. The walls were very urban, bricks leading up to large windows on top. He smiled, looking around, a wide array of paintings hung from clothes lines. And he recognized himself almost 80% of them. He walked around in awe, admiring how incredible they were. Warmth flooded through him, noticing that he seemed to be her main focus when it came to her work. He stopped in front of a large canvas, his profile painted in black and white strokes. He ran a finger over it, feeling narcissistic in thinking she really saw him this beautiful.

“So this is it… Clearly I have a muse,” she muttered behind him. He turned to her, his eyes softening.

“I’m... I’m your muse?” his voice barely audible. She nodded.

“Have been since the first time you walked in the cafe.”

“This is... incredible, Ellanore.” She shivered at him using her full name.

“Yeah? I figured you'd get creeped out...” He watched her pull her hair up in a bun, sticking two pencils through it when she couldn't find her hair sticks. He half smiled at her, watching as she began to dig through her art materials.

“Why would you think I would be creeped out? I’m honored.” He walked over and turned her around to face him. She was biting her lip nervously and he pushed her bangs from her face. “Relax. I trust you.”

“But I’ve never done this before with you.. at least not while you were awake,” she added, fidgeting. He chuckled and she visibly calmed down, seeing how serious he truly was.

“You’ve drawn me while I was asleep?” He said, pulling his hoodie off and tossing it next to her stuff, leaving him in his black and white Adidas joggers. The ones Ellie fucking adored on him. She nodded, setting up a canvas and stool in the middle of the floor. She walked over and grabbed a large white crate. She pushed it in the middle in front of the canvas. Watching her work was mesmerising. She knew her vision specifically and was determined to get it.

“You should see how beautiful you look all comfy and rested.” She laughed a little to herself. 3am insomnia used to haunt her. But now, being next to him throughout the early morning hours, she was content. All she had to do was grab her beautiful sketchbook he gave her and her book light and pencils, and she was at peace. “Alright, all set. Just uhm... you know. Get naked,” she said, biting back her smirk. He walked over and slid off his pants, not even bothering with boxers. Her face fell on him, studying all his freckles and all his specific curves. She walked him over to the crate and sat him down sideways facing the left of the studio. She lifted his left leg up on the crate, and had his right arm grab the knee. His face looked forward towards the wall in front of him, and his left hand balanced behind his back.

“How do I look?” He asked, not turning away. She smiled walking backwards, pleased with his pose.

“Great. Just gonna adjust the lighting,” she said, turning all the lights off and grabbing a soft box. She pulled it over and turned it on facing his front and casting a shadow down his leg and back. Perfect. Almost god-like she thought. After she finished the set up and she walked over to her phone and hit play on her spotify. Harry smiled as Elton John's Tiny Dancer came on.

He could hear her pencils scratching away at the blank canvas material. Erase, scratch, scratch, scratch, erase. He peeked a glance after a while, captivated by her. She was doing that adorable focusing face she sometimes wore. Her brows scrunching together and her tongue peeking out a bit. She wiped her hair from her cheek and he had to fight a laugh as graphite residue appeared on her smooth pale skin.

After what felt like hours, she sat back and let out a fulfilled sigh. She glanced between him and her work a couple of times before smiling triumphantly.

“Am I allowed to move?” He asked, standing up and stretching. “Fuck. That’s a workout,” he said, walking around the canvas to see her. His face fell and he inwardly gasped. Holy shit. It was unbelievable. The shadowing, the beautiful pencil strokes. Over the years, he's gotten some amazing art from his fans, and of course, her piece from Christmas was beautiful, but this... this was a whole other level. She looked up at him from her stool. He was a pretty emotional guy, so he had to bite his cheek to keep from letting the tears in his eyes fall. He didn't want to sound conceited, but she made him look so alluring. So powerful.

“I know it’s kinda like simple, but..” She trailed off, clearly nervous because he wasn't saying anything. “This is gonna sound weird, but I feel like you’re so aesthetically pleasing and attractive on your own that painting this would make it too overdone. Sort of like how gods were painted or sculpted. Very simple because they didn't need any extras to enforce their strength... I don't know. Do you like it? I'm sorry if--” But he captured her lips in his and tenderly showed her his appreciation.

“This is the most stunning piece I’ve seen by you... Thank you,” he whispered, his thumb caressing her cheek. She finally smiled widely.

“Well, I’m glad you like it.” She blushed as he walked over to his clothes. It was rather drafty in here.

“Have you ever thought of creating a gallery or anything? Selling your work?” He questioned. Ellie began re-packing her pencils and supplies. He watched her shrug.

“No one would really want to see it. Besides, this past year or so most of my stuff has been of you,” she said, laughing a bit.

“I think people would adore your work.” He slipped his hoodie over his head and walked over to her, capturing her in his arms. She snorted.

“Trust me. There are way more talented people out there. Besides, I work at a cafe. I’m lucky enough to make my rents.” With that, she finished up and yawned stretching her arms up.

“Tired, love?”

“A little.” She sighed, not looking up at him. “Haven't been sleeping well.” He wasn't sure if he was supposed to hear it, but he glowered. He knew it was his fault. Him being distant definitely had been affecting her anxiety. He noticed how shakey she was around him, tip-toeing. He walked over and wrapped his arms around her from behind, resting his lips on the back of her neck.

“I‘m sorry, my love.” He swayed her a bit. “Got jealous. Love you s'much.” She turned.

“Never get jealous.” He pouted.

“But-”

“No, Harry. I’m serious.” She pushed his long hair from his face. He loved when she did that. He leaned into the warm of her palm. “There’s only you okay?” It was the shining light in her dark eyes that he felt it. Only him.

 

 

Harry buttoned up his shirt in the hall bathroom. The room still a bit steamy from his shower only moments ago. He looked at his reflection and thought for a moment before opening up the first three top buttons, letting his swallow tattoos out, and his crucifix hang between. He smiled. Finally he was ready. He could hear ellie in there room, getting ready. It took some convincing but he promised her it was private. In fact, he was sure she was going to be blown away. He'd always been a full romantic, and adored watching the women he dated swoon over his ideas. But this was a special Valentine’s Day. One where he can easily say, he was truly in love. This weird girl had captured his heart and he was ready to impress her endlessly. If only she let him spoil her as much as he wanted to. But she wasn't like that. He understood she came from a well off family, but yet she refused anything over the top and appreciated every little thing in her life.

“Ready to go, petal?” He asked, wrapping his knuckles on the bedroom door. He heard her groan and it opened a crack as she peaked her head out.

“Uhhh, gimme like ten minutes.” He chuckled.

“Baby, we’re going to be late.” He sassed her. She stuck her tongue out and shut the door making him shake his head. She was never this invested in her looks. Guess that's his fault since he said to wear something upscale.

Ten minutes passed and the door opened fully as Ellie walked out, lips a dark red to match her beautiful maroon dress. It was all lace and was tight down to the waist, where it flared out just a bit. It was dark red satin under it and her hair was pulled up and back loosely, letting a few stray hairs cover her face. He bit the inside of his cheek. He had to control himself, because he was seriously considering saying fuck dinner and take her on the goddamn kitchen counter. She noticed his staring and immediately shied away.

“What? I know it looks stupid--” He grabbed her wrist before she could retreat back into the room and he pulled her into him, pressing his lips to hers in a passionate kiss. When he pulled away, she giggled and swiped her finger on his lip. “You look good in MAC.” He snorted.

“You look stunning my beauty,” he said, intertwining their fingers.

“Well, you look pretty hot yourself there, pretty boy,” she said with a wink, her hand pinching his ass a bit. He jumped and gave her a shocked look.

“Naughty girl, we haven't even left yet. Don't tempt me.” He growled, squeezing her hips in his hands.

 

They arrived at a large brick building, just a ways from South Street Seaport. All the while, he would squeeze her hand in the car. Her perfume was intoxicating, like a soft garden in England. She was so beautiful. He felt so lucky. Lucky to have someone to come home to after long stress-filled days. Lucky to have someone who took care of him, who loved him as unconditionally as she did. She wasn't like anyone he’d dated before. The girls before weren't love. They were lust. But Ellanore? She was pure raw love. He dragged her through the glass doors, and toward the elevator.

“Ready, love?” He asked as they reached the top floor.

“Is this the part where you kill me and hide my body in the Hudson?” She joked, trying calm her nerves. Harry laughed loudly and shook his head.

“Course not. Won't do that till were married and I can collect your life insurance.” He huffed. She rolled her eyes. She was in love with a man child. They walked out into the hall and Harry led her to a green door that read stairs. She frowned. “You’re gonna make me climb in these heels?”

“Want a piggyback ride, then?” He said, raising an eyebrow.

“So you can fall and break your ass then I have to deal with your fanbase? Fuck no,” she said, pulling her shoes off and walking ahead. Shaking his head in amusement, he watched her head up each step. They arrived at another green door.

“Ready?” He pushed the door open and Ellie froze. Beautiful bulb string lights cascaded across the top of the roof. There were beautiful flowers everywhere, dark reds and yellows and oranges. She covered her mouth, spotting a small table with candles sitting in the middle.

“Harry...” She said, breathless, her eyes taking in everything. She noticed heaters surrounding the area and she turned to him with a huge grin. This was something out of a fairytale.

“Told you it was private,” he said leading her over to a chair. She sat down looking around, seeing all the beautiful lit-up buildings.

“This is amazing,” she said taking his hand. “Thank you.”

“You should have good memories for Valentine’s Day,” he said, kissing her knuckles.

“You really love spoiling me, huh?” I mean she wasn't wrong. He shrugged and smirked over his wine glass.

 

They spent the night talking and eating, Harry having ordered from her favorite Italian restaurant. She almost screamed seeing baked ziti on her plate. The heaters and candles and lights kept them warm. And Harry would look up every once in awhile and admire how beautiful she looked in the warm glow. She blushed and looked away, pretending to focus on something else. When they had been friends, he never noticed her blush or be shy before. Usually she was a spitfire, saying the first things on her mind. Since they started dating, she couldn't help but turn red when he'd compliment her, or when he'd talk dirty to her. He loved it. He loved that she was so comfortable enough in their relationship that she didn't hide from him. At least not anymore.

Ellie’s phone buzzed and she glanced at an Instagram notification. It was Kaia. She had spoke to her when she landed, and Kaia had gone on and on about how beautiful Miami was. She opened it and her eyes widened.

“Wha’s wrong love?” Harry asked, wiping his mouth.

“Hmm? Oh no, uhm, Kaia just posted a picture from Miami. Her and Liam... They’re cute.” She showed him the phone and he laughed.

“Yeh, he was a bit of a goner for her. Looks like a couple of paps got some of them out last night as well,” he said, scrolling through his social media. Ellie sent a quick text to her friend, wishing her a good time.

“So, I know you were a bit adamant against this holiday... I hope it's at least better in your mind now,” Harry said, pushing his hair behind his ear.

“Honestly, I’m new to this relationship thing but... I’m really fucking surprised how anyone could have broken up with you. It’s like you’re the damn guru of romance.” He laughed and she melted at the sight of those beautiful dimples.

“Well, I got you something...” He said, reaching around to his jacket.

“Harry, you didn't have to get me anything...” She said, laughing. “This was like more than enough. You know I’m literally satisfied with pizza and oreos.” He pulled out a long box and handed it to her, his eyes sparkling with anticipation.

“Hope you like it,” he said watching as she put it down and grabbed her purse. He furrowed his brows.

“What? I wasn't about to not get you anything,” she said snorting. She handed him a small black square box. He took it and beamed at her.

“Wha’s this now?” He shook it jokingly.

“I uh, was in this little weird antique shop the other day. Kinda saw it and it screamed you.” She shrugged, trying to brush off her apparent nerves. He opened it and immediately lit up, pulling out a silver square ring, with a square onyx stone in it. He ran his finger across it, admiring the simple, but beautiful engraved patterns.

“Ellanore..” His voice was soft as he gazed up at her. “I love it. Thank you.” He leaned across the table and kissed her. “Open yours,” he encouraged. Pulling off the beautiful ribbon, she pulled the top of the box off and inside lay a beautiful silver Tiffany's bracelet with an infinity symbol in the middle. Her jaw dropped and she looked up at him in disbelief.

“Harry-”

“I swear to god if you tell me to stop spending money on you...” He said, chuckling. She sighed, but smiled, taking it out of the box and adoring every beautiful diamond on it.

“It’s amazing, baby. Thank you.” Harry took it from her and she held her wrist out. He clipped it on and and smiled at how elegant it looked on her small wrist.

She'd never had anything like this. Never had a man taking her out to eat or creating beautiful memories for her. Never had someone who wanted to see her smile all the time. She got used to living in the shadows. And here was someone who wanted her to be in the light with them, completely. She felt his hand intertwine with hers and led her next to the table. She heard music erupt from a speaker next to them.

“Tiny Dancer? Really?” She said, wrapping her arms around his neck. He shrugged.

“Heard it the other day, kind of suits us, yeah?” It kind of did. His hands pulled her closer, and he took her right hand in his as he swayed them to the music. She felt his lips press a kiss to the side of her neck.

“I love you,” he whispered, his warm breath tickling her ear.

“Love you too, baby,” He pulled back and looked at her, watching her every move. “Did you learn all this from rom coms?”  
“Mmm, a bit, yeah.” She giggled at him and shook her head.

“Hey Harry, maybe we could...” She took a deep breath, knowing as he rubbed small circles on her lower back, that she'd pretty much do anything for him. Always. “Maybe we could go out sometime this weekend for dinner or something...”

“You.. you mean like at a restaurant? In public?” His smile illuminated and she took a deep breath. Nodding, she took her bottom lip between her teeth.

“Yeah. Why not? Think it’s been a while, right?” She shrugged. Before she knew it, his lips were on hers and he wrapped his fingers in her hair.


	23. Chapter 23

Bliss was what she felt wrapped in his strong arms under the covers. He was radiating heat against her skin and she felt secure and calm. They must've been at it all night, because she kept hitting snooze. Even as the sun rose in the sky, she turned her back to his large bay window and took refuge in his neck, burying into his hair. He sighed contently, gripping her tightly to him. Suddenly, her phone alarm blared again and she groaned. Fuck.

“Turn i’ off, Ellie,” he grumbled from under her. She sighed, sitting up and yawning. Her eyes landed on the clock and she gasped, jumping up.

“FUCK!” She practically fell off the bed. Harry raised a tired brow and reluctantly sat up from the warm bed. He rubbed at his eyes.

“Wha’s happened?” His voice was so fucking sexy in the morning. So deep and raspy. She restrained herself from jumping back in and straddling him. He watched her run about the room grabbing jeans and one of his shirts.

“I’m gonna be so fucking late--my professor is gonna kill me,” she whined, running a brush through her hair. “Babe, have you seen my-”

“Kitchen counter. Wait, what time is it?” He’d already known she was talking about her book bag.

“8!” She screamed from the other room. Fuck. He had a meeting with Jeff at 9:30. Sighing, he fell back into the mountain of pillows.

“Wanted to sleep in,” he complained. She walked over to him and pulled off the comforter.

“Up! Let’s go, you have to meet with Jeff,” she said, running into the bathroom to brush her teeth. She walked out a moment later and noticed Harry had turned his back to her, his beautiful ass facing her. She rolled her eyes and patted it to wake him up.

“Keep that up, love, and you won't make it to class at all,” he said, turning over with a smirk.

“I gotta go, but I love you.” She leaned down and kissed him deeply, making him whimper a bit when she pulled away. “Go shower, I’ll text you when I get to class.” And with that, she exited the apartment.

–

 

Fuck. She knew she forgot something. Her goddamn art journal. And of course her professor wanted them today, so she knew she was about to get a zero. Unless she could run back after class. Sighing, she rubbed at her head. Screw it, she thought bitterly. Taking out the rest of her supplies, she sat down between Mia, Nora, and Mike.

“Hey,” Mia said to her with a bright smile.

“God, I’m so fucking tired,” Nora said, slamming her head on the metal table. Mike snorted.

“Next time don't drink three bottles of fucking tequila.,” he said matter of factly. Ellie laughed and shook her head. “And where were you, missy? Figured you'd be around for single awareness day.”

“Uh, just went on a date.” All three of them shot a look at her.

“I’m sorry. Did you just say ‘date’?” Nora asked in shock.

“Why is this such a surprise?”

“Ever hear the term ‘married to their work’?” Mike asked, raising an eyebrow.

“Yeah? I was never married to my work. I just rarely went out.”

“Yeah, because you’re an introvert,” Mia said with a laugh. Their professor began class, telling them they'd be working on their still-life canvases today, as she went around and checked their homework from last week. Ellie didn't mind the still-life class, but at the same time, she wasn't overly thrilled to be painting fruit and random teacups. But details count in drawings. It was about ten minutes in before there was a knock on the door and everyone looked up, including Professor Marino.

“Can I help you?” She asked, as Ellie continued to draw the stupid broken teapot.

“Ehm, yeh, sorry. Just dropping somethin' off.” Everyone's collective murmurs and that voice shot through Ellie. She was suddenly very much aware of her high heart rate and the blood pumping in her ears. She gulped and turned to see Harry, in his dark black skinny jeans and cheetah-print winter coat hanging over his black hoodie. He sent her a beautiful loving smile and before she could even think to say something, he walked over. “Sorry, love, forgot this on the counter this morning. Figured you'd need it today.” She froze as he bent down and kissed her cheek. Oh my god.

“Harry...” Her breath caught in her throat. She looked between everyone's shocked faces, their phones recording and snapping away. “Uhm, thank you--um, Professor Marino, can I just--” She motioned to the door before grabbing his hand and dragging him back out, he turned and waved bye to everyone before she dragged him down the hall and looked at him in shock. “Harry, what are you doing?”

“Dropping your book off before I head to my meeting?” He crossed his arms. “You’re welcome, by the way.” Great, he looked like she kicked a puppy. With a sigh, she gave him a thankful smile and kissed him.

“Thank you, baby, but everyone--”

“Fuck everyone, Ellanore. I want to be able to do things with you. You said yourself we should go to eat this week. Why is it such a big deal anyway? Kaia is out and about with Liam at the moment--” She watched as the tips of his ears turned red, a tell tale sign he was beginning to lose patience. Ellie groaned and rubbed at her face.

“Harry, I’m sorry, okay? I don't care, I just... ugh--” They were interrupted by both their phones blowing up. “Oh Christ.” Harry laughed a little. “The hell is so funny about this?”

“We broke the internet,” he said, turning the phone to her, so she could see the now posted videos going viral of him kissing her in class. She groaned and leaned against the wall, throwing her head back and trying to calm down. He sighed.

“Look, I’m sorry, alright? I should've told Dale--”

“No.” He stopped. “No. Listen. I’m sorry.” He looked taken aback by her statement.

“You? For what?”

“Because this should've happened weeks ago. I've literally made you hide me and that’s not fucking fair.” She was not a fan of admitting her wrongs. But it was time. Time because right now, she already had ten missed calls and over 700 Instagram notifications along with 40--no, 50 new texts. Harry's phone kept lighting up as well, several times with Jeff’s name and several with Anne and Gemma. Harry leaned over and kissed her deeply.

“Don't be sorry. I understand. It’s new for you. I have to remember that. Go to class, I’m sure your professor isn't fond of me disrupting everyone already,” he said with a smirk. She sighed and nodded, agreeing with him. He headed for the exit as she made her way back to face whatever the fuck was behind this door.

When she entered, everyone's eyes were glued to her. Mia, Nora and Mike went to say something and she said 'after class.' They all nodded, still rightfully in shock.

–

After explaining to her friends what exactly had happened during class, and getting stared at they rest of the day by pretty much the entire campus, Ellie just really needed to relax. Harry texted her that Dale would be there to pick her up so she could meet him at the rehearsal studio. When she walked out of the building, she was met with several paps’ flashes in her face. She covered her hand with her face as Dale ushered her into the back seat, closing the door behind her. It was because it was new, she thought, it won't always be this way. Dale noticed her anxiety as he looked in the rear view.

“Alright there, Ellie?” He asked softly. She was fidgeting, pulling at her fingers. When he spoke, she turned to him and just smiled with a nod. He drove off towards the studio.

 

–

She should've known there’d be more cameras. Mainly because of Harry's show tomorrow, but also because they figured she’d show up there at some point. When the car stopped, she had to inhale deeply to suppress her current urge to puke. Dale patiently waited for her to catch her breath.

“You got this, Ellanore. Just don't look at them and walk straight in, alright?” He said calmly before getting out and walking to her door. He’s right. She can handle this. For fuck’s sake, they were just cameras. Shit, is her makeup good? Oh god, her hair is kind of a mess. Whatever, fuck it. The door opened and she was met with flashes and questions. 'Ellanore! Smile!' How did they know her fucking name already? 'ELLANORE, HOW LONG HAVE YOU AND HARRY BEEN DATING?' 'ELLANORE! ARE YOU THE GIRL HARRY CHEATED ON NADINE WITH?!' She stopped just before Dale managed to get the door open. Her teeth clenched and it took everything for her not to turn around and knock that fucker to the ground. More questions were spat her way but Dale managed to shove her inside and wave.  
She spotted Jeff on the phone in the hallway before he smiled at her and hung up.

“How you doing?” He asked, rubbing the back of his neck, clearly stressed.

“Uhm, adjusting... How’s everything here?” He let out a heavy sigh.

“Bit hectic. But it's Harry. Tends do a lot of hectic shit. I'm sure you're aware.” Ellie laughed.

“Yeah, very much. He's like a rowdy 10-year-old hopped up on candy.”

“Damn right. Anyway, he's through there. I’m gonna just keep handling... this.” Jeff held up his buzzing phone and Ellie nodded, walking through the double doors into a large empty space. It was filled with mic stands and instruments. She caught the last part of Kiwi, when Harry noticed her and smiled widely.

“Ello, ‘ello, love.” He walked over and pressed a kiss to her cheek.

“Hey,” she said quietly. He frowned, noticing her fidgeting.

“How are yeh?” Harry pushed her hair behind her ear. She sighed.

“Adjusting. Had to turn my phone off, though.” She laughed a bit.

“We’ll go through it later,” he said, leaning down and pressing a soft kiss just under her ear. “Almost done here, then we can get some take away and head home, yeh?” Nodding, she walked over and sat in the corner until he finished rehearsing his new song, and one of his favorite covers. She honestly loved watching him perform. She was sad she didn't get to see it to often, but at least now she'd have the chance to. This newfound freedom of them being public may be a bit overwhelming, but as she watched him dance around in his crazy Gucci white flare pants and tight black shirt, she was sure she could handle it. Getting used to it was going to be hard, but that’s why she had this crazy asshole to help her. He loved what he did, and that was enough for Ellie to accept it. Besides, Liam was right--it was bound to happen anyway.

 

They arrived home, dodging a few paps outside the studio again. Dale had driven them to grab pizza, and of course, Harry was ready to devour half the box before they even made it to the damn door. Ellie saw a few more cameras standing outside the main doors of his building and he frowned when he saw her shift in her seat.

“Uh Dale, mind using the garage, mate?” Harry requested, taking Ellie’s open hand in his. He squeezed it and she turned to him with a loving smile. Dale opened the door for them after the garage closed, and they walked to the elevator. Ellie held onto the pizza and breadsticks with death grip as Harry tried to grab it.

“If I had a free hand, I’d smack you,” she said as he tried to open the box. He chuckled and whacked her bum as she yelped.

“Sorry, love, looks like you don't.” He shrugged, walking towards his door.

“No, but I have a foot and it could fit up your ass.” She stuck her tongue out.

“Is that a sexual challenge for the night?”

“God, you’re fucking gross, remind me why I’m in love with you again?”

“You like them dirty, love, don't deny it.” They walked inside and she put the pizza on the counter.

“Go wash your hands. God, it’s like taking care of a kid.” She watched him make a face at her before going to the sink and washing his hands, then drying them.

“Well then, when we have children, you'll be a pro.” He said nonchalantly as he grabbed a slice. Ellie coughed on her water and spit it out. Harry made a disgusted face and laughed a bit as she wiped at her mouth.

“Christ, way to drop the baby bomb on me before I've even eaten--” She groaned.

“C'mon, you seriously believe I’d want kids with anyone else?”

“Where’s my say in this?” She snorted, turning around and wiping the table. He took another bite.

“D'you not want kids with me?” He asked unsurely, not looking away from his food.

“Harry, yeah, I mean... I do but we haven't even been dating that long. We have like years and years to even think about that.” He smiled up at her.

“All the time to practice then.” He wiggled his eyebrows and she giggled.

“Is this why you have exes? Cause you scared them away with baby talk?”

“You don't seem all that put off.”

“Because... I don't know...” She sighed, taking a bite of her pizza. He smirked at her.

“Because you've thought ‘bout it haven’t you?” Ellie rolled her eyes in a very non-convincing way. Okay, yeah, once.. or twice. But like it was just her mind being stupid at 3am when he was cuddled around her and she was in post-sex bliss. “Fuckin' knew it.”

“Shut up, asshole, you’ve thought about it too,” she defended herself.

“Yeah, I have, actually.” She was shocked at his bluntness.

“Wait... you seriously have?” He nodded, rubbing his hands on his jeans. “Harry, we just started dating.”

“Alright? Been thinkin ‘bout it probably since I fell in love with yeh.” She tilted her head, suddenly intrigued.

“Which would've been?”

“That night in the cafe, when you threw baking supplies at me.” He grabbed a water from the fridge and turned to her.

“...That’s... that's when you knew you loved me?” He gave her a half smile.

“Yeh. Any woman who could tell me off like that and give me a hard on covered in flour, knew I was goner.”

“You’re lying,”

“I honestly wanted to fuck you senseless right there... but you said we couldn't be friends. Figured you were far from interested in being in a relationship with me.” Fuck. She literally fucked up her chances from day one. She could have fucking had him all this time, saved him fucking heartbreak and everything. Now she felt guilty. He must've noticed her mood change because he wrapped his arms around her and rested his head on hers. “None of that, petal, you got me now, yeh? And like you said... plenty of time.”

“Yeah, but I just feel stupid.” She sighed, dropping her half-eaten pizza. Harry gasped and grabbed it.

“Oi, do not waste perfectly crafted New York pizza, Ellanore. Disrespectful.” He grumbled in mock offense, she laughed as he immediately finished it off.

“You sure you’re not fucking pregnant? You eat like a hormonal woman,” she said, crossing her arms.

“Aye, do not make fun of our child like that,” he said, rubbing his stomach.

“You’re an idiot.”

“I’m your idiot, though,” he said, poking her sides, making her squeal. “Love that sound,” he said, jumping on the island and grabbing his third slice. He swung his feet back and forth while chewing away.

“Don't get sauce on those pants, your stylist will kill you,” she said, leaning against the counter.

“Hey, what do you think our kids would look like?” He asked after a moment. Laughing a little, she shrugged.

“I don't know... hopefully like you.”

“Hope not. Want ‘em to have your smile,” he said with a wink.

“Yeah, but I want them to have your dimples, your hair, and your fucking gorgeous eyes.” He chuckled.

“Well they betta have your laugh, s’contagious.”

“But they need both our senses of humor.”

“Oh, for sure, be all cute and crazy.” She groaned and put her head in her hands.

“Yeah, the last thing I’d need for my sanity is them with your energy level. I'd probably need an adderall to keep up.” Harry burst out laughing and shook his head.

“Imagine four of ‘em runnin’ about.”

“Four?! Are you insane?!” She asked in disbelief.

“No, I plan to give you lots of babies.” He smirked.

“Bitch you thought. More like two. That’s fucking plenty.”

“Ellie, ‘m pretty sure were financially stable for like six. I just felt like that number would turn you off a bit,” he said casually as her jaw dropped again.

“Six?! When the fuck did it go up two?! This isn't a request line, you can't just keep popping them the fuck out like candy.”

“Why not? Don't you want six of them causing mayhem round the house?”

“Harry, I used to work at a daycare, I'm not sure you understand what six kids entails. Much less with four, much less with two.”

“Two? No, four,” he challenged. Was he serious? Oh, fuck no. She stood up straight and looked him dead in the eye.

“Three.” He thought for a moment, before nodding and eating the rest of his slice.

“Fine, three. But I get to choose their names,” he debated.

“Oh, hell no. If I’m pushing out three watermelons out of a fucking pinhole, I get to name them. You get the middle names.”

“Fine, I name the first one and the third.”

“Are you seriously dealing on our future kids right now?”

“Mhm, s'important.” Ellie laughed at him and shook her head.

“You’re fucking nuts. But I love you.” She leaned over and kissed him softly.

 

–

Later that night, with Harry curled around her, Ellie finally turned her phone on. It instantly blew up. Clearly, she was in for a lot tonight. With a sigh, she began scrolling. Harry immediately grabbed her phone and she glared at him.

“Hey, the fuck,” she said as he fiddled around a bit. She watched him open a few things and click some settings. “What are you...”

 

“There, now you’re on private. So is your twitter and your facebook is non-existent. Your snapchat is still public, but only people can subscribe or you can add them. Andddd....” He tapped away. “Your instagram is still public, but you wont get millions of notifications blowing up your phone. Unless you want to make it private?” He looked over at her and she thought for a moment. I mean, she didn't really care. Her instagram was a couple of selfies and most of her artwork and photography.

“Yeah keep it public, I guess. God, how do you even deal with this?” He shrugged, handing her the phone back.

“Honestly? Doesn't really bother me all that much. Kinda used to it.” He smirked and patted her bare thigh. Ellie leaned over and kissed him deeply. Getting caught up in his touch, she didn't notice his iphone snapping a photo and she pulled away.

“What are you doing?” She laughed. He showed her the pic and she smiled.

“Aww, that's kind of adorable actually. I don't look like a toad.” He sneered at her.

“‘nuff of that,” he said, rolling his eyes and editing it a bit. He made it a deep contrast and added a few filters. When it was done, she leaned her head on his shoulder.

“Alright, anddd posted,” he said hitting enter on his instagram.

“What?!” She shot up and grabbed his phone as he chuckled.

“What'cha mean ‘what’? I’ve been waiting to be able to post a photo of you on there since we started hanging out. You accent my feed.”

“What are you, a 15-year-old girl influencer?” She stared in disbelief as the number constantly rose with each refresh. Holy fuck. 10K likes in literally 50 seconds. Insane.

“We're quite the couple, aren't we?” He said, poking her cheek. “You should post that one I took last week.”

“Harry, we were naked.”

“So, it was cute. We looked good.” She knew he was talking about the one where she had fallen asleep on his chest, her face buried In his neck. They had just went an amazing round of fucking each other senseless, and she pretty much passed out, his arm tightly wrapped around her. He grabbed the phone and pressed a kiss to her forehead, resulting in probably one of her favorite photos to date. She handed him her phone with a sigh.

“Here, you do it.” He giddly grabbed it and began to pull it up and upload it. “We need a good caption.” He thought for a moment, his brows furrowing in deep concentration.

“How about a song lyric?” She suggested as he began to type it out. When he was done and it was posted, she took her phone back and bit her bottom lip reading the beautiful words. “Really?” 'I know I’m better with you.' Okay, she adored it. And him. She fucking adored him. He was beaming right now, like he had just received a Grammy or something. “Why you looking at me like that?”

“Just really love you, petal,” he said, leaning down and kissing at her neck tenderly. It wasn't rushed and it wasn't needy. It was soft and gentle. A friendly reminder what his lips felt like. She smiled and closed her eyes, letting him ravish her with his kisses.


	24. Chapter 24

Getting used to cameras facing you and having your face on a lot of major media outlets 24/7 took some getting used to. Especially to someone like Ellie, who tried to remain in the shadows of her own life. She used to take her life day by day, moment by moment. No cares, no fear of who or if anyone for that matter was watching. But now? She was constantly asked questions or being stared at by her peers. School was the worst, the cafe was a bit better. Although she had taken selfies a day with fangirls. That she didn't mind too much. They always seemed really sweet, and would compliment her. They'd ask for follows or something. She was stopped only a couple of times on the street by fans, and they were never too evasive when it came to her and harry's relationship. Mainly they just wanted to know about her. After that night two weeks ago when Harry had posted on both of their instagrams, she was officially spotlighted. She noticed the photos in people magazine, on TMZ, even trending on Twitter.

It was a lot. Like. A LOT. And she had always been somewhat timid when it came to attention. So the night her phone lit up, with her sister’s number on a text, her heart almost stopped. She dropped the dish she was holding, and it shattered in a million pieces at her feet. Cursing, she quickly bent down and began to pick them up, her mind going into full overdrive. Thank god Harry wasn't back yet. He'd been finishing tour rehearsals.

Ellie gasped when a piece sliced at her finger and blood began to flow heavily.

“Shit.” She stood up and washed it over the sink, wrapping it in a towel. After a minute, she grabbed her phone again to double check that her mind wasn't playing tricks. What the fuck. Nope, definitely her sister’s number. She hesitantly opened the message. It read hey. That was it. She rarely spoke to her siblings. Or her parents. It had been over a year. The last time she tried any sort of communication with them, they... she shuddered at the thought. What a horrid fight that was.

“Love, I picked up--What’s happened to your hand?!” Harry chose that moment to walk in the door. His eyes landed on the bloody towel around her finger. However, her gaze didn't look up from her phone. She felt him grab her hand and examine it. “Ellanore, what’s wrong?” His voice was filled with concern.

“Hmm? Oh--I, uhm... clumsy as fuck. You know me. Dropped a friggin plate.” She muttered, taking her hand out of his and bending down to finish cleaning up the mess. Harry immediately grabbed her by the shoulders and forced her to stand. “What--no, let me--”

“Ellie, you’re bleeding on the linoleum. Just... come into the bathroom so I can wrap your finger,” he said insistently. She sighed, walking after him.

 

She sat on the bathtub as Harry bent down in front of her, wrapping a bandage around her still-heavily bleeding finger.

“If it doesn't stop, I’m going to have to take you to the emergency,” he mumbled, eyes still glued to his task at hand. Groaning, Ellie put her head in her good hand.

“No.” She argued.

“What were you thinking love? This could've been way worse.”

“Yeah, well, I wasn't thinking,” she said, looking up at him sourly. He finally locked eyes with hers, trying his best to figure out just what she was thinking. He was always relatively good at it too, but Ellie would never admit that to him.

“Ellie, something’s wrong. And you need to tell me,” he whispered, finishing up.

“Harry. It’s really nothing, okay? Just have a lot on my mind. Work and school shit.”

“Is it because I’m leaving next week?” Groaning, Ellie stood up and tugged at her hair.

“No, god--no. It’s just school crap. Don't worry about it.” She walked past him, leaving him frowning on the floor. She hated how bad her mood drops when it came to her family, but he really didn't this drama in his life right now. He had bigger and important things to worry about. She made it back in the kitchen, but before she could even consider cleaning up, Harry grabbed her wrist and yanked her away. He silently began to finish up cleaning the broken pieces, emptying them into the garbage next to him. Ellie stood with her arms crossed behind him. When he was done, he stood up and washed his hands, still avoiding looking at her.

“I’m sorry. I’m just in a shitty mood,” she said softly. Harry nodded.

“Brought you some dinner,” he said solemnly. He kissed her cheek and headed into his room, shutting the door. Nice going, bitch. She could feel herself beginning to shut down. And she really didn't want to do that. Without a second thought, she grabbed her keys and her jacket. Harry opened the bedroom door, noticing her getting ready to leave. He sprinted past her and slammed the door shut before she could even think to go.

“The fuck, Harry!” She yelped. He shook his head.

“No, you are not doing that again,” he said, leaning back against it. She tried to open it again. “Ellanore, I said no.”

“Harry, get off the fucking door,” she challenged, getting into his face.

“You are not about to shut me out again. Not this time. You're upset. I understand that. But you are not going to hide back at the other apartment until you feel better. That is not okay anymore,” he said sternly. She went to push away and he grabbed her gently and pushed her back. “Enough.”

“You are pissing me off, Styles--Move!” Once again, he shook his head and pursed his lips. She growled and pulled away from his hands.

“Why are you picking a fight with me? What exactly have I done this time?” She stopped at his words.

“Harry. It has nothing to do with you--”

“Then what exactly has got you so riled up, Ellanore? Tell me so I can help-”

“Harry, trust me--You don't fucking need to know. It’s shit you don't have to deal with--” She began, her feet pacing back and forth in front of him. She felt like a cornered animal.

“I’ll fucking decide what I can deal with or not! Now tell me what is so wrong you feel the need to try and hide again!” He snapped at her. She froze under his gaze. His teeth were clenched so hard, she was surprised they haven't cracked. She's never really seen him this angry. With a huff, she sank into the couch and buried her face into her palms.

“My sister texted me,” she said after a moment of silence. Harry visibly relaxed.

“Your sister texted you,” he repeated. He slowly walked over and sat down across from her. She wouldn't meet his eyes. Embarrassed because she once again let her anxiety overcome her. Let it consume her enough to lash out to the one person she felt 100% comfortable with. “What did it say?”

“It didn't have to be more than her just even texting me, Harry. This is... this is what they do. One of them will come around after a year or so to try and contact me. And it ends in a fight. Always bigger. Always meaner.” He nodded in understanding. He knew her relationship between her and her family had always been questionable. She never spoke about them. He found out a little bit during the holidays, but he didn't dare ask her for more. Knowing it was a trigger for her and he didn't want to push her into anything she wasn't okay with. In all fairness, he had no idea about it today. But he's glad he caught her before she left and hid away from him and the world again.

“But it's different now,” Harry said softly. She finally looked up. “You have me here.”

“I don't want to drag you into this, Harry. You don't deserve to have this burden--”

“Ellanore. This is not a burden. For fuck’s sake, I’m your boyfriend. I’m with you now. What upsets you upsets me and I... I don't want you facing anything alone when you don't need to.” tears formed behind her eyes. Fuck why was he such a good person.

“I’m... I’m just gonna ignore it. Maybe it's nothing,” she decided. Harry agreed with her, for her sake, saying she was probably right. Even if she didn't believe she was. He walked over and sat between her legs, kissing her gently.

“I’m here for whatever you decide, my love, understand?” With a smile, she nodded.

“I know.”

 

Ellie stood folding some of Harry's clothes and stuffing them in his suitcase. She had work in a couple of hours, but she wanted to help him pack since he was so behind. She could hear him talking on the phone in the kitchen to his management about last-minute tour preparations. He was only going to be gone a month or so, but she was still going to miss him terribly. She’d gotten so used to sleeping next to someone. It was going to be hard to break routine. Her mind wandered a bit. The past week had been rather straining on her. Her family contacting her had done a number on her mental health and she just wanted to find a reason as to why. She glanced at her phone. There was so much temptation in her curiosity. 

Suddenly, it began buzzing. She grabbed it and read the number. Her mother. Her mother was now calling her. Not her sister. The source. Dropping the phone, she bit her lip and backed away like it had shocked her. Harry was still walking around the kitchen, talking animatedly with the phone attached to his ear. God, she loved that he chose to walk around in just those tight black boxers. His beautiful smooth tattooed skin shining under the dimmed lights. It sounded like he was still in the middle of the call. Without a second thought, she grabbed her phone and dialed back the number before she could second-guess her actions. She closed the bedroom and walked over towards the large bay window overlooking the beautiful New York City skyline.

“Ellanore?” Her mother's voice sounded over the other end and she had to fight the oncoming feelings of her panic attack. 'You’re fine. You’re okay. You’re alive. Breathe. You’re fine . You’re okay. You’re alive. Breathe.' “Hello?”

“Hi,” she stated. Fuck. The last thing she wanted was to show her fear. Her anxiety behind this. No. She grew a backbone the past couple of years. No backing down now.

“Sweetheart, how are you?” Her mother sounded overly giddy. Funny, you didn't ask that when you kicked me the fuck out of your life.

“Fine. Is there a reason you’re contacting me?” She fidgeted, but her voice was stern. Thank god. Show no fear.

“I’ve... I've just missed you is all. How is everything? How is school?” Ellie shook her head and bit back a snort. Her grip on the phone tightened in annoyance.

“It’s... Listen, I’m sure you don't actually care. But to humor you, it's good.”

“Ellie, of course I care. I’m your mother.” Bite your fucking tongue, Ellie. Bite it. “Listen, I was wondering. I'm calling to see if you'd like to come down soon. We’d love to have you, and I’m sure your brother and sisters would like to see you.” She cringed. She would not like to see them. Well, her brother, maybe. But that's it.

“I don't think that's a good idea.” She heard Harry bustling around pots in the kitchen. Must be making dinner.

“Ellanore. Please.”

“Is this because you generally want to see me or is it because my face is plastered all over the news and you've seen it?” The phone went quiet. Fucking knew it. They're ready to pry back into her fucking life again.

“Ellanore, your father--”

“Step-father,” she corrected as her mother sighed.

“Your family would like to meet your boyfriend. Besides, wouldn't you like to see Shawn and Alyssa and Natalie again? They all miss you… I miss you.”

“You forgot to mention your husband.”

“When will you stop fighting me? I just want to see my daughter.”

“Then you shoulda thought about that when...” She stopped herself. “I’ll think about it.”

“That's all I ask.” They were quiet.

“I have work, I have to go.”

“I see you haven't been cashing any of the checks I’ve sent you--”

“Yes, because that's his money. I can do it on my own.” She heard the bedroom door slide open and noticed Harry was leaning against the door frame, staring at her curiously.

“Please think about it,” was the last thing her mother said before the line went dead. She gritted her teeth and threw the phone angrily on the bed. Without another word, she finished packing up his stuff.

“Love, you don't have to--”

“I want to!” She snapped, not looking up. She shook her head a bit and mumbled sorry. “I want to, okay? Helps distract.” He nodded and sat on the bed next to her while she continued. He didn't push her. He didn't force his way in. He just stayed next to her. His presence was so calming. Like her own personal anti-anxiety medicine. After a heavy three minutes of silence, she sighed.

“She wants us to come down to the house.” She spoke and Harry immediately gave his attention to her. Hanging on every word. “She said she wants to meet you. Apparently, my family does.” He nodded. “I have three siblings. My brother Shawn is a year younger than me. I’m closest to him...” She walked over to the walk-in closet and pulled the drawer open “He was shoved into this bullshit like I was. Then there's Alyssa, she’s 16, gonna be 17 by the end of June, and our youngest sister Natalie. She’s 7.” After grabbing what she needed, she walked back over and finished putting it in. Zipping it up, Harry grabbed her hand and she finally looked at him.

“I will go... wherever you want me to, love.” He was so sincere. He was really going to brave her shitstorm of a life.

“Why?” She hadnt meant to say it, but it just fell for her lips. She was curious. No one ever stuck around long enough to actually have to do this with her. Harry's thumb caressed the top of her hand.

“Because I love you. And I'm not afraid. Besides, you've met Mum and Gemma. I’d like to meet your family if that's what you want.” He was literally too good for her. Swinging her leg over his and straddling his lap, she kissed him. Deeply and slowly. Savoring everything he tasted like. She wanted to remember this moment for the next month. Of course she'd attend his New York show date in two weeks, but until then, she wanted all of him. His hands rested at her hips and when she pulled back and pushed his hair away from his eyes, the look he gave her told her that he wasn't going anywhere.

“I love you too,” she whispered, resting her forehead on his shoulder. He rubbed her back and kissed her cheek.

“I’d love to stay like this forever, but unfortunately the pasta is going to burn if I don't stir it, petal,” he whispered. Groaning, she buried her face into his neck, not wanting to let go.

“Fuck the pasta,” she mumbled.

“I’d quite like to eat it, actually.” He chuckled. Reluctantly, she slid of his lap and bit her lip, noticing his hard-on.

“Your dick says otherwise.” He playfully patted her butt and got up, walking to the kitchen, finishing dinner.

 

 

Watching Netflix, intertwined with her boyfriend's head on her lap, is something Ellie will never get tired of. They used to do this as 'friends' but each time, he’d cuddle into her, her heart would race and she'd get butterflies. And now he was going to be gone for six weeks. And she literally had no idea what she was gonna do trying to survive on their facetime calls.

“I can feel you fidgeting, love,” he whispered, not taking his eyes off the TV. She sighed. Yeah, well, that's because you’re buried in my lap, she thought. He turned over and stared up at her, her hands carding through his curls. Something that always seemed to ease both her and him. She stared down at him, her photographic memory taking all the mental pictures for dreams later. He smiled up at her and she felt the anxiety slowly fade away. God, he really was like an anti-anxiety drug.

“I have something for you,” he said, suddenly sitting up and heading to the bedroom. She watched him go and heard him open the closet and then close one of the drawers. He walked back towards her, and god, her mouth was definitely watering taking in the v-lines in his plaid pajama bottoms. He sat next to her and she turned to face him. “I was going to do this when I got home, but really no point in waiting.” He chuckled, sounding a bit nervous. He handed her a small black box. And all of a sudden she could hear the blood pounding in her ears and the sweat coating her palms. Please, for the love of fuck, don’t be a ring--a key.... a key?

“Harry, I already have a key to your apartment...” She looked at him, confused. He laughed and ran a hand through his hair.

“Well, I mean, yeah. But I was thinking... maybe you'd like to ehm... you know move in... officially?” Oh my god, he looked like he was about puke from anxiety. Move in? Like out of her apartment and into his and make it... theirs?

“Wait like... you want me to like move in here. With you. Like, together?” She can't help the smile that was now gracing her face. When he saw her smile, he immediately relaxed.

“Yeh, I mean, you pretty much live here as is. And you'd just have to get your things from your apartment--what’s wrong?” He asked, noticing that she was no longer smiling. Because now as she thought about it, that meant a major change. And she's never been the best with that. But at the same time, how can she turn this down? Why was she suddenly second-guessing this. Her head was swarming with thoughts and she could feel her ADHD begin to kick in.

“No, no it's just. It's not too soon, right?” She questioned and he snorted.

“Ell, we’ve been friends for pretty much a year, not to mention you’re here most of the week anyways. Think of it as no longer having to pay rent over there.” Her frown deepens.

“Harry. I expect to pay rent here,” she said, looking at him sternly. He sighed. He knew that would be a fight.

“You’re not paying rent here-”

“Harry. I’m not moving anywhere for free.”

“The rent for here is over 8k a month.” Her face dropped at that. With a sigh, she began to think hard.

“Fine. Food, I pay for it. Also, cable.”

“Ellanore, I can afford all of that--”

“Do you want me here or not? I’m not moving in here and mooching off you--” He looks at her, confused.

“Who said you were mooching? You are never a burden to have here--”

“Harry. Please? I need some independence here.” Her eyes are begging him. He knew there'd be conditions.

“Fine. Three times a week, you buy groceries. You can pay for the Netflix and Hulu, but I’ll pay for the cable, understood?” She went over in her mind for a minute the deal being made, before her smile returned and she jumped on his lap. He laughed, falling back and pulling her down on top of him. She buried her face in his neck and dipped his hands on her lower back.

“Take that as a yes, then?” He asked as she leaned over and kissed him deeply.

“More like a fuck yes.”

 

 

Harry was wrapped around her like a fucking koala bear. Her clock read 4am. She had to wake up in a half hour and get ready to go with him to the airport. She refused to stay home and watch him leave like that. It’s okay though, he requested her presence at his arrival and departing. He was currently snoring softly in her ear and his legs were interlocked with hers. He must've turned the heat up, because even though she was literally in a tank top and undies, she's sweating. No matter how hard she tried, she couldn't fall asleep. Even after he wore her out with the fucking amazing goodbye sex they'd had a few hours ago. She'll probably have bruises on her thighs again. Good thing it wasn't summer.

Avoiding the time, she turned over in his arms and he adjusted his head once again into her neck, his hands tightening around her back. As creepy as it sounds, she sometimes liked to watch him sleep. He always seemed the most relaxed then. Like all his meetings and his studio sessions and stresses of the day are washed away when he's lying next to her. Who knew that her anxiety-filled ass would be his destresser? His curl fell in front of his face and she smiled a little, pushing it away. It's gonna be a lonely fucking few weeks without him using her as a body pillow.

–

 

There are minimal paps at the airport when they arrive. A few fans he stopped for, although Dale didn’t seem all that happy about it. Ellie stood near him as they approach Harry. He happily took selfies with the four of them, thanking them for coming. She smiled at him. She'll never get tired of watching him with fans. Of course, she was bumming it to the airport. Black leggings and Harry's Harley Davidson sweatshirt. Her hair was up in a messy bun, and she’d slipped on a pair of fashion clear eyeglasses to hide the definite bags under her eyes.

“Um, Ellanore? Can I get a picture?” One brunette girl approached her. She looked at Harry, who smiled widely at her and shrugged. Sure, why not.

“Uh, yeah, of course.” She walked over and smiled in the selfie and the girl squealed, thanking her a million times.

“You look so pretty!” Her friend complimented. Ellie found her cheeks heating up a bit as Harry walked towards her and took her hand heading to his terminal. He thanked the fans one last time and they walked, hands intertwined. She could see the reflections of camera flashes behind her. Paps obviously getting them being intimate in public.

“That was really sweet of you, love,” he whispered in her ear as he begins checking in his stuff.

“I never thought that actually happen. Your fans have been like 50/50 on this whole thing. She was sweet, though. Couldn't say no when she asked politely,” she said, shrugging. Dale grabbed Harry's luggage and put it on the carrier. He was done checking in and Ellie could feel the lump forming in her throat. He noticed her tense up and put his hands on the back of her neck, pulling her into his chest. His lips pressed to the top of her head and she wrapped her arms around him tightly. She could feel him rubbing those soothing circles into her back, knowing fully how that calms her down. It felt like seconds, but it must've been minutes when he let go. He leaned down and kissed her softly, resting his forehead to hers.

“Every night, love? We’re facetiming before the show and after.” She nodded at him silently, trying to hold back the fucking tears in her eyes. God, she hated being so emotional in front of anyone. And now she felt clingy.

“Promise?” 

He smiled and kissed her again. “Always. I love you, Ellanore.”

“I love you too, Harry. Please be safe, okay? I kinda need to you to come back.” He laughed and held her tight again before parting and saying goodbye to Dale. His eyes didn’t leave Ellie until he got to his gate and she had to bite her inner cheek to stop from crying in the middle of the terminal. Growing up, her mother and step-father would often look down on showing emotions in front of someone, saying it was weak to bare yourself like that. But with Harry, it was different. With Harry, she didn’t feel stupid when she gets angry or upset. She feels validated and he is always concerned for her instead of acting like it’s a burden. When he disappeared behind the security checkpoint, Ellie sighed and she felt Dale squeeze her shoulder in reassurance. Dale will be meeting them tomorrow at their first show. Harry had told him to take a day off before tour.

It didn’t hit her until she opened the apartment door. And the sound of silence echoed around her. She crawled back into bed and buried into the heavy white duvet, trying her best to fall asleep.


	25. Chapter 25

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> GUYS WOW. The comments ive been getting, i love you all so much holy crap. So i suffer from severe ADHD and im like really proud because i just finished writing out the rest of this story. DONT WORRY YALL GOT SO MANY MORE CHAPPYS lol and there will definitely be a sequel ;) I just thought id share ma progress. AS for posting, i know im a like spazzy when it comes to posting up my chapters, but my editor aka Grammar Ghost ahah got a job so her editing the next few chapters might be a week or so. As she edits them, i post em ! But yeah thank you so much seriously, the fact yall love this story makes my heart slam like when i look at harry styles pics. 
> 
> SO ENJOY MY LOVES

Week one. Okay-ish. Of course she went stir crazy, but that was okay. The weather was getting better. Fucking winter. She missed spring. And flowers and rain and the smell of freshly-mowed grass. Okay, in all fairness, there was new grass in the city, but it still sorta smelled naturey. Harry had like he said, facetimed her twice every day. He seemed to miss her just as much, so she felt less guilty about feeling clingy. Luckily, with Harry on tour, most of the paps and press have gone with him. Most. She still got her picture taken sometimes. Clair, Kaia, and Anna liked to send her tweets in their group chats about the posts.

Clair: You should dress nicer if u know ur gonna be stalked lol

Kaia: Dont be bitchy ._.

Anna: I think you look nice :)

Me: Do I honestly ever give a fuck what I look like shopping at target?

Kaia: I mean no but... you’re literally in your boyfriends sweatpants.

Me: His gucci ones are comfier than mine sue me *insert middle finger emoji*

 

Which was 100% true. They were fucking soft. And Harry seemed to like it. Even he sent her the photo along with a winky face saying how good her ass looks in it. But by week two, she was starting to feel it. So even though she had yet to tell them she was moving out, she'd stay by them, not wanting to be alone in the huge penthouse. 

It was Monday night and she was standing in the kitchen, her spotify blasting. Kaia and Anna were finishing papers on the couch and Clair was working on her media project at the table. Ellie’s phone lit up as she popped a pizza roll into her mouth.

“Hey you,” she said with her mouth full. Harry's beautiful smile appears on screen. He was dressed up, which meant he was going out, since the show ended an hour ago. He looked so fucking good as always and the black shirt he was wearing was unbuttoned, showing his beautiful body art.

“Classy, Ell.” He laughed and rolled his eyes. He was alone in his hotel room, which meant this facetime could get R-rated. And honestly, she wanted it to. She missed his hands tracing over her body like he was memorizing her.

“Thanks--Hang on. Heading to my room,” she said, grabbing the plate.

“Hey Harry!” The girls scream and Harry’s face contorted in confusion.

“Hi!” He chuckled. “Why aren't you home?” He asked, running a hand through his hair. Fuck. They all looked up at her and she shrugged.

“I uhm... lonely.” She shrugged, shutting her door behind her.

“You haven't told 'em yet,” he said, sighing. He looked unhappy but it was not so simple for her. She’d been living with them for four years. And letting go of this place meant a permanent thing. Means that she can no longer hide because her home will be with Harry.

“I’m getting around to it. Don't worry I’ll be moved in by the time you get back,” she mumbled, picking at the bottom of her sweatpants. He raised an eyebrow. “Don't give me that look.”

“I’m not giving you a look.” She snorted.

“How was your show?” She changed the subject. Watching her, he hesitated before going into a detailed rant about how amazing the staff was and how he was having an awesome time. She listened intently like always. Because she generally loved hearing how he interacts with people between songs, and how he jumps around like a 5-year-old hopped up on pop rocks. When he was done she smiles widely. “I’m glad things are going well. You look hot, by the way, I like that shirt.”

“Thank you, love. Tom Ford.” He winked. “How are classes?”

“Fine, I mean ehh. You know, it’s school and I want to be done.”

“You've only got a few months to go,” he said, laying down on his bed. She nodded. “What’s wrong?”

“I just realized I have to start internship hunting.” She groaned and pulled her hoodie or well, his hoodie, over her head and pulling the strings. He laughed at her.

“You look ridiculous. And I can probably get you--”

“Harry,” she warned him and he stopped.

“What is so wrong with me helping my girlfriend? If I wasn't dating you or we had just met, would you really be so opposed to it?” She could hear the irritation in his voice.

“No. But we are dating. I don't need people to assume everything I have in my life is handed to me--”

“It’s an internship. I’m not handing you anything. I’m setting up an interview for you at my label. College students do it all the damn time. Just because we’re together doesn't mean you'll get the job,” he argued.

“No, but it will definitely sway it. Do you honestly believe your label will drop your girlfriend and risk losing you as well? Come on, be logical.” He let out a huff and she could see him aggravatingly rubbing his face.

“You are the most infuriating person.”

“Gee, thanks. Duly noted.” She rolled her eyes.

“I hate when you do that,” he said.

“Do what?”

“Roll your eyes.”

“Whatever. Where are you going?”

“Why do you assume I’m going somewhere?”

“Because it’s...” She checked her phone. “11 pm in LA and you’re dressed after your show.” He stayed quiet.

“Do you not want me to go out?”

“Did I say that? I asked where.”

“Why do you have an attitude?”

“I don't. For fuck’s sake, never mind.” She fell back in her bed, burying her face in her arms.

“Ellanore.” She heard him on the other end, shuffling around.

“Mmm?” She groaned.

“You need to sleep.”

“I cant.” And she really can’t. In fact, she woke up every two hours and sometimes didn’t even go back to bed. She looked like shit, felt like shit, and honestly was testy with everyone since he left. God, she was being pathetic.

“What do you mean?” He sounded concerned.

“I just... I can't.”

“Have you talked to your psychiatrist? Maybe it’s the medication,” he suggested. She saw that he put the phone on the table, and he was finishing getting ready.

“I don't know. It’s probably stress.”

“Has your family contacted you again?” She shook her head. No and thank fuck. But he kept asking. Every night.

“No... you look nice,” she said as he fixed his black flare pants. Honestly they’d look ridiculous on anyone else. But he fucking pulled them off so well. He looked to the camera and she gave him a sad smile.

“Thank you, beautiful,” he said, taking the phone and smiling back. “Don't be sad.”

“I’m not. Just tired.”

“Go rest, I’ll call you tomorrow. I’m just going to an event at some club opening tonight. Little wine place in Soho. I’ll take you next time we go to LA, yeah?” She nodded as he blew her a kiss. She threw one back and he hung up. Fucking four more weeks of this hell.

 

 

Ellie sipped at her soup in front of her. She was definitely getting sick. Stupid non-existent health insurance. She scrolled through her instagram, liking a few things fans posted of Harry from last night’s concert. He looked amazing in his red and black suit. Probably one of her favorites. She tapped ‘like’. Going back to her page, she noticed over a hundred new follows. She was gonna have to get used to that. Kaia sat down next to her.

“So,” Kaia began. Ellie looked at her.

“So?” Just then, Anna and Clair sat down as well. “Am I in trouble? Did somebody die?”

“Ellie, what’s going on?” Kaia asked, raising an eyebrow. Fuck, they noticed. She had been off the past week. Week three. She still didn't know how she was going to tell them she was moving out. Did she even want to move out at this point? Yes and no. She hated change. The only reason she was okay with staying at Harry’s was because she had here to come back to. If she gave up her room, then.. she’d only have his place and if something were to happen... she’d have no place. She dropped her spoon and looked down at her hands.

“Harry... asked me to move in with him.” Silence. Deafening fucking silence.

“Ellie, that’s great!” Anna said, squeezing her arm. She looked up instantly.

“It is?”

“Yes! That’s a huge step for you guys.” Clair smiled. Yeah, a huge step. But is a good step or a bad one? What if Harry didn’t like her being around 24/7? What if he gets annoyed with her?

“You don't seem all that thrilled,” Kaia said, frowning. Ellie sighed.

“I am. I really am, but...”

“You don't like change. I know. It took you like a year to adjust just to this place.” She took Ellie’s hand. “Ell, look at me.” She looked up at her best friend. “This is a good step. Okay? He loves you and he wants you to be with him.” Okay. That was true. But he hasn't had her live there for more than a few days at a time.

“You practically already live there. You don't even come here anymore.” Clair stated with a half smile.

“I think you should do it,” Anna said

“But what about rent? You guys, it’s a big room. I pay like 600 a month--”

“Stop. We’ll figure it out. Besides, we’re not gonna do that to you,” Kaia reassured her. Maybe they were right. I mean, if he didn’t want her there he wouldn’t have offered. She’d leave her bed, just take her things. “I’m gonna go see if we have any boxes and stuff.” Kaia stood up.

“Gee, you really want me out of here already?” Ellie snorted.

“No, but before your anxiety kick starts and you change your mind again,” Clair said. Okay, truth.

 

The next day she stood in her now bare room. All her posters and her trinkets packed away in about twenty brown boxes by her feet. She left her bed, obviously not needing it. It had taken them all night. But worth it. Harry hadn't called yesterday. But he texted her good night. As she looked around her facetime lit up and she hit send.

“Hello, love,” he said softly. It sounded like he was about to sleep. They had flown to London last night for a BBC interview. He’d be back in the states by tomorrow. The lights were off and she could only see his messy hair.

“Hey.” she said softly.

“What you up to?” He rubbed his eyes.

“Finished packing my stuff. Gonna bring it over tomorrow.” He stopped and his eyes went wide.

“Wait.. you finally packed your apartment up?” His voice was suddenly filled with happiness. Yup, shitty girlfriend award goes to her. She had been putting it off for a week, and he kept asking her. She’d brush it off and say she was tired or she forgot. He looked excited.

“Yeah... they took it well. Told me they were okay with me going,” she said, stacking one of the boxing on the other. He nodded.

“You seem upset. What’s wrong?”

“Nothing, just haven’t been feeling well the past week.” He frowned.

“Have you been to the doctor?” She sighed. No because she couldn't afford. it.

“It’s probably just a cold.” He didn't look convinced. “I’m fine, I promise.”

“Ellanore,” he said warningly. “My card is in the top drawer-”

“Harry, I swear to fuck.” She groaned.

“This is your health for fuck’s sake, it’s different. I left it for emergencies--”

“No, you left it in case the damn car breaks down or there’s a fire. Not for me to go see a doctor for them to tell me what I already know.”

“I really don't want you to be sick, love,” he said softly. Fuck.

“I’m paying you back.” She grumbled and he smiled triumphantly. Yeah, well, if she hadn't been having sleepless nights with the coughing, she’d tell him not worry. But she was desperate. If one more customer glared at her, she was gonna lose it.

 

 

Brining the boxes in was the easy part. She didn't have much to her, and that was something she was more than okay with. The less stuff the better. She had them all stacked in the living room, thanks to her roomates and Henry. Yeah. She'd been talking to him lately. He found a girlfriend. And she was fucking gorgeous. Thank god, because he deserved one. Dude’s fucking golden. She wasn't sure how Harry would feel about her talking to Henry. Nor did she really think he’d care all that much. But this could go one of two ways. She could fight him on it because Henry was a friend. But Henry at one point did have feelings for her and could have a hidden agenda. Either way, she probably should have told him.

Unpacking is the hard part. Where the fuck did she put everything? Her drawing stuff? Her pillows and photos and trinkets. She walked over to Harry's closet. Or well, their closet now, and saw he had a clear side. She began taking her neat clothes and unfolding them. She hung them up one by one, pants and shirts and jackets. She suddenly let out a heart-wrenching cough and groaned. She promised Harry the other night she’d go to the doctors, she just didn’t mention when. Kaia called her an ass and Clair and Anna just gave her a disapproving look. Whatever. It was a cough. She’s fine.

 

3am. She was sitting in the living room most definitely not fine. She was 99% sure she was running a temperature, but she’s bundled up to the brim. Like three blankets and Harry’s hoodie and her sweats. She also kind of borrowed Harry’s wool socks since they were the thickest pair. Who knew Gucci was useful for something other than fashion. Her phone goes off.

“Hello?” She asked groggily.

“I’m guessing you haven’t been to the doctors?” He sounded mad. She sighed.

“Harry, it’s a cold-”

“Ellanore, knock it off, Kaia told me.” Traitor. “Can you please go for me?”

“It’s 3am, it’s closed.”

“Hospital isn't.” She froze. Fuck no.

“I’ll go tomorrow.”

“Do not make me send Kaia there. Because I will,” he threatened and she laughed a little.

“Rude.” She mumbled. It was quiet. “Harry, I miss you.” She could hear him sigh in sadness.

“I miss you too, bug,” he whispered softly. “I just feel so helpless. Your over there probably dying and I’m in fucking Florida.”

“It’s fine, I’ll go tomorrow after class.”

“You are not seriously considering going to class tomorrow.” he groans.

“I can't miss days.” She can, but she doesn't want to.

“God, you’re so stubborn. I’m gonna go. Please go tomorrow?” He practically begged. With a sigh, she agrees. “Love you, petal.”

“Love you too, har-bear.” She laughed at her stupid nickname. He chuckled.

“That’s a new one.” She giggled.

“It’s 3am. I have a fever. I can't sleep. Take it or leave it.”

“Take it. Rest up.” With that, they hung up and she turned over. She closed her eyes and prayed for sleep.


	26. Chapter 26

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello beauties! Alright so my beta aka Grammar ghost has edited some more chapters Noiceeeee. SO ill make a small posting sched and if anything changes, i will inform! Gonna be MONDAYS either 12pm-1pm OR 6pm-8pm ALL Eastern Standard Time! Anyways, thank you again for the comments and kudos and loves and hugs and hearts and shit i really love you guys. Also super proud as i have severe ADHD and i havent finished a fan fiction in over 7 years. But I managed to finish this and am currently working on a sequel which of course means more shit to hit the fan. FUN stuff for the loves ahaha ANYWAYSSS enjoy my loves, yall deserve dissss

Week 4. She had fucking bronchitis. Of course. Because it couldn’t be just a cold. Harry gave her his 'I told you so' speech and she nearly threw the phone. Mid-march and she was stuck in the apartment while the weather outside began to get better. Harry would come home in two weeks, thank god. She felt utterly deprived. And by deprived, she meant she wants to be fucked senseless the minute he walks in that door. This morning, she got a text saying he had a layover in New York till tomorrow, so he was coming home for the night. She thanked her fucking lucky stars that it was her last day on antibiotics and she was feeling so much better. She was making him dinner tonight. Why? Because he deserved it. And hopefully she can finally get a peaceful night’s rest.

With music blasting through the apartment, she flipped the chicken over in the oven and sang along. Terribly, she might add. The whole apartment was clean, since he texted her this morning. She had gone on a huge cleaning kick, even though his apartment already had a weekly cleaning crew come by, she wanted it to be perfect. After all this would be there first night together since she officially moved in. Wow. She’d been living here for three weeks now and it's been great. Honestly. She didn’t even really miss her apartment.

She must've not heard the door, because she felt two strong hands snake around her waist and pull her backwards. She jumped and turned to see Harry giving her a huge smile. Fuck, she could melt in those dimples. He leaned down and kissed her deeply, his hands tangled in her hair and pulling her as close as he can. She jumped up and wrapped her legs around his waist and he moans into her mouth needily. When they pulled apart, they were gasping for air, touching each other wherever they could. Harry's forehead rested on hers.

“Fuck, missed you so much, love,” he said, trying to catch his breath. She sighed into him.

“We have twenty minutes before the food’s done.” He pulled away and gave her a cheeky smirk, before grabbing her thighs and hauling her towards the bedroom.

He dropped her down on the fresh new sheets she just put on and he crawls over her, his lips wandering on every part of her open skin. She's whimpering at his touch, one she craved so much. His hands slid up her shirt and he practically growled at the fact she was braless. She could feel the calluses on his fingers from his guitar, and he slid the shirt over her head quickly. Her hands found the buckle of his belt and she was fast to undo it as her feet kick off his jeans. His tongue caressed the spot under her ear, where she let out a little moan.

“Fuck, pet, it’s been too long,” he cooed in her ear. Oh god. His voice alone can undo her. He was grinding against her needingly and it was driving her insane. She could feel the outline of his hard cock, rub against her panties. He slid his hands into the waistband, pulling them off in one swipe. She bucked up at the sudden cold sensation. Holy fucking hell. “Mmm, so wet for me already, pet?” She nodded as his fingers slid between her folds teasingly. He had no idea how fucking worked up she was or had been these past few weeks.

“Harry, please-” She whined, as he dipped two fingers in tauntingly. Her hands were gripping the sheets next to her as he works them in up to his knuckle. They caress the spot on her wall above that made her legs shake and she gasped.

“Tha’s it, love.” He stroked it, causing her to cry out his name. Finally, taking mercy on her, he slid his boxers down, his hard cock springing free. One hand stroked it a few times, making her mouth practically water, while the other hand intertwined in her hair and tugged at it. His mouth was on her neck, kissing and sucking, like he’d been dehydrated from her taste for too long. She could feel him aligning with her entrance. She could tell he wanted to ease in, but she was too eager. Craving it too much.

“Just fuck me-” He chuckled at her, whining, and without warning, slammed into her. She moaned out his name and gripped his shoulders for support. His head dropped, feeling her warm core surround him. She fit so perfectly, as always. He fucking missed being inside her, and the way her eyes look when she was filled with him. He hooked her leg up on his shoulder and deepened as much as he can. She let out the most beautiful fulfilling sounds and he eased her through, biting at her neck. Marking her up. He began thrusting in and out, deep as he could get. He can feel her dripping around his cock, knowing he was hitting her g-spot. She tugged at his skin, her nails digging half-moon shapes.

“Feel so good, love,” He praised her, knowing just how much she loved it. She was so beautiful under him, writhing in raw pleasure, that he knew only he could give her. She was bucking into him, meeting his hips halfway and fuck, the sound of the skin slapping against one of another was something he loved most. He could feel her walls contracting. She was close and he wanted her to let go, cum all over him and tighten around his arousal.

“F-fuck, Harry- yes” She breathed out.

“So close, my love,” he whispered, “Gon' cum for me, yeh? Make my cock nice ‘n wet?” She couldn’t even form words and he was about to cum just from the beautiful face she was making. He kissed her deeply as he felt her release. She tightened her grip on his arms, her mouth pulling back a bit as she climaxed. “Tha’s it, my good girl, look so beautiful.” Her heavy breathing echoed in his ears as he gave a couple more slams, before cumming hard into her. Her chest was rising and falling as he slowly pulled out, breathing just as hard. He laid down, his face in the crook of her neck. They were soaked in sweat and he knew her nails left scars on his shoulders. Good. He wanted people to know he's taken. They laid in each others arms for a moment.

“Jesus christ. I missed you so much,” she said suddenly, causing him to chuckle and peck her cheek.

“Same here, love.” The timer went off in the kitchen and she groaned. “Wa’s wrong?”

“I uh.. don't think I can walk just yet,” she said sheepishly. He laughed, standing up, slapping her thigh playfully and walking into the kitchen. He turned around by the door and smirked.

“You checking out my arse?” He said cockily.

“Yes. It’s fucking great.” She laid her head back down, giggling. After another minute, she stood up and grabbed her underwear on the floor, slipping them on. When she rounded the corner, she saw that he set the chicken on the stove.

“You know, you could save this for your meals this week. And I could just finish eating you.” His smirk is so wide, his dimples were deep. She buried her face in his back and slid her hands around his broad body.

“Always a fuck boy,” She mumbled against his skin. “Missed you walking around here all bare ass.” He laughed.

“Course I am. It's why you fell in love with me. And don't worry. Fourteen days and I promise not to wear clothes for a week.” He turned in her arms and pressed a kiss to her forehead.

“Good thing these walls are soundproof.” He snickered and buried his face in her neck.

“You seem to be feeling better. I assume the medicine is helping.”

“Yeah and I owe you like $400.” He groaned and pinched her ass, making her gasp. “Ow--Harry!” His grip tightened.

“I don't want to argue. I have twelve hours left with you before I leave again.” He was right. She really just wanted to curl up against him and get a proper night's sleep. He leaned up and carded a hand through her hair, his thumb running along the underside of her eyes. She could tell he was worried. He was always worried. Sometimes he showed it, and sometimes he would hide it. But right now, he's showing. “You haven't been sleeping.” His voice was soft, unacussing and sad.

“Just a lot. Semester is over in a couple of months. Last minute projects and stuff.” She shrugged, but knew he wasn’t buying it. With a sigh, he pressed his lips to her forehead.

“We need a vacation.” She giggled and he went to grab plates for them. After he set them down, he pulled her to him, making her laugh. “Think about it. You. Me. And a beach.” He kissed her in between each word. She turned in his arms. “I want to steal you away. How about Hawaii?”

“You are literally insane,” she said, biting her lip.

 

 

When there's nothing good on Netflix, she and Harry resort to being a 40-year-old married couple who watch late night news. He was curled up in her lap, his head on her legs. She played with his hair, and her thoughts were drifting. Eight hours before he had to go again. They went at it a second time in the shower after dinner. Now they were both wrapped in blankets, a couple of candles lit, just taking in each other’s company.

“How have you liked living here?” Harry suddenly said. Ellie snorted.

“I've pretty much been living here.” He ran his hand up and down her thigh soothingly.

“You know what I mean. You didn't, you know...” He was asking if she had a panic attack about the major change. She could lie and say she didn't. She had a minor one. But after a half hour, Kaia snapped her out of it, reassuring her she could come back anytime she wanted.

“Yeah, I mean...it went away after a couple of minutes. I'm getting better,” she said with a half smile. She was. It just took some time. Her psychiatrist said she was adjusting well, even though some days were a bit harder than others.

“I’m proud of you, bub,” he said softly. She felt her heart clench. He was proud of her. Words she never got hear when she was growing up. Inhaling deeply, she fought back a couple of tears threatening to fall.

Inside Edition came on after the news, a couple of stories about viral videos. One or two about upcoming tours for artists. The newswomen went on to talk about some wedding taking place next week for a model or something. The blonde model spun around in a rather... eccentric dress and Ellie made a face.

“That dress is hideous.” She heard her boyfriend comment. Giggling, Ellie shook her head.

“God, I know. Why do you have to look like a fucking barbie doll on your wedding anyway? Never gonna understand it,” she mumbled.

“I mean, fashion is important, but that's a rather tragic mess she's got on.”

“I kinda like having a bisexual boyfriend,” she said, making him turn around and stare up at her with a sly smile.

“Yeah?”

“What straight man is gonna make comments about a wedding dress? They'd probably all think they were exactly the same,” she replied, making him poke her side and causing her to squeal.

“Your bisexual boyfriend agrees.” He continued to stare up at her, making her blush a bit.

“Is there a reason you’re staring at me like I'm the second coming of Jesus Christ?” He laughed.

“Yes. I’m admiring your beauty.” The back of his knuckles caressed her cheek.

“God, you’re such a sap. Can't believe I fell for such a cheeseball.” He smiled and turned back to the television. The newswomen was now commenting on venues. Both Ellie and Harry made a disgusted face before laughing a bit.

“At least I know our wedding wouldn't be as tacky.” She tensed at his words.

“You.. you think about our wedding?” She asked, giggling nervously.

“Course. I think about the flowers we'd have. Maybe what designer suit I’d wear.” He went on nonchalantly. He really had put thought into it. Then it hit her. This wasn’t temporary to him. Not that she ever thought it'd be. She wanted him in her life always. But he really genuinely wanted her. Forever. No doubts whatsoever. “Love? Whatcha thinkin’ bout?”

“Nothing...” She trailed off with a smile. He turned over and she pushed his hair from his forehead. “You should wear that Tom Ford suit.” He laughed a little.

“You'll be in a custom-made dress, of course.”

“Baby, you're lucky if I can afford custom made place cards.” He laughed. “Besides. Once you meet my family, your thoughts will definitely change.”

“Doubt it.” He laced his fingers through hers. “‘sides, we’re doing an outdoor wedding. Like mum had.”

“On a beach?” She asked.

“Obviously. At sunset, barefoot.” Her smile grew.

“We gonna wear puka shell rings too?” He laughed and shook his head.

“No, love, but you will have a beautiful crown of flowers in your hair.” God, it was like he was inside her fucking fantasy world. He knew her so well it was scary.

“White plumerias,” she pondered. He nodded and kissed her knuckles.

“And I shall sing to you at the reception, of course.” She blushed.

“You've never really sang to me before... I mean, I've heard you sing, but...” He frowned. “It’d be romantic.”

“Have I never serenaded you, love?” He sat up, looking serious. She laughed.

“Harry it's not that big a deal. I’m sure you will.” He shook his head.

“Unacceptable.” He went to get up and she grabbed him, pulling him down on top of her. She kissed his nose and he sighed.

“I have seven hours left of you. Serenade me in two weeks. For now, you’re going to sleep so you’re well-rested for your show tomorrow, yeah?” She said as he relaxed against her, burying his face between her chest. She giggled. “Comfy?”

“Has anyone ever told you that these are the most comfortable pillows?” He grinned wickedly. Little shit.

“I figured they'd be.”


	27. Chapter 27

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am of the sorriest my loves! I completely spaced on posting monday. hahah this is why im shit at scheduling ahah HERE WE AREEE

She probably would be considered a bad friend. And probably a terrible fucking girlfriend. But she'd never actually seen Harry play on tour before. I mean sure, this is his first tour while dating her, but still. She was kind of nervous, knowing that today's the day. Kaia, Clare, and Anna were coming as well. Liam had even come, to support his friend and of course be with Kaia. Clare's new boyfriend--yes, she said boyfriend--was joining them as well. Ellie actually really liked Hero. He was a bit shy, but the way he looked at Clare was the way a prince looked at his princess in fairy tales. She knew Clare didn't really notice, but he was so beyond smitten with her that Ellie would always love to watch them. He’d do the sweetest, little things for her. Anna had convinced Gwen to join them as well, which was awesome because they deserved more time together. Gwen was a spitfire, always eccentric and wild. She brought out Anna from her shell and it was incredible.

As they pulled up to MSG in their black GMCs, everyone headed towards the back entrance. Ellie nervously fidgeted with her phone as Jeff walked out and greeted them.

“Hey hun, how've you been?” He asked, embracing her. She smiled and hugged him back.

“Good. See you taking care of my boy,” she said with a wink.

“Of course.” He winked back and introduced himself. “You can come this way,” He walked them down a long hallway, people bustling around getting the stage set up. “Crowd’s a bit rowdy already.”

“How’s he doing?” Ellie asked, running a hand through her hair. She finally managed to straighten it, pulling it half up in a small messy bun. She’d decided that tight black jeans, her favorite black booties and a rather low cut, sleeveless metallic top would be perfect for the night.

“Hes uh... nervous.” Jeff said shoving his phone In his pocket then turning to her. He let them in a large room, Liam sitting on one of the couches texting. He looked up and smiled, walking over to Kaia and kissing her.

“You should go check on him El,” Liam said, gestured to the hallway. Crap. She nodded and Jeff told her which room he was in. She knocked on the door.

“Come in.” His voice was muffled, but she pushed the door open and watched as he was buttoning up his black Gucci shirt. She walked up behind him and he turned to see her. “Baby,” he whispered, before leaning down and capturing her in a passionate kiss. His lips trailed over her jaw and down her neck.

“Harry, people can come in,” she said, raising an eyebrow. His hands traveled down her waist and gripped her ass, making him sigh in relief.

“Fuck, I always loved these jeans,” he said, looking up and laughing.

“Have you really?” She said, placing her hands on his chest.

“Surprised you never noticed me checking you out in them when you'd wear them.” She swatted his arm.

“Yeah well, I hope this suit isn’t expensive, because I kinda wanna bite it off your thighs.” He chuckled, biting his lip.

“Naughty pet,” he said, squeezing her ass and turning back to the vanity mirror.

“So how are you?” She asked, leaning against and crossing her arms. She could see adrenaline in his eyes. But was it out of fear or excitement?

“Bit nervous... but excited,” he said, smiling over at her.

“You've played stadiums, haven't you?” He shrugged.

“With four other lads bouncing about. Haven’t played here in years.” She nodded. She gave him major props. She could never do what he does. Standing up in class made her nauseous, so this would probably make her straight up puke. But she knew her boy. She knew that after the first song, he was going to get on his performance high. He always had. It was like he was born to be on stage, the lights, the screaming fans. It all turned him on. Setting him up shots of ecstasy and a pure rush.

“You’re gonna be fucking incredible as always, Mr. Styles,” she said, kissing his cheek. Snorting, he rolled his eyes.

“You’re supposed to say that. But... thank you, love.” He kissed her and walked over to his dressing rack. There was knock on the door and Liam poked his head in.

“Is everyone decent in here?” Harry laughed.

“No, mate, I've just taken her against the wall.”

“Asshole,” Liam laughed, “Me and the girls are going to head out there. You want to go, Ell?”

“Nah, I’m gonna hang back here and give him a pre-show blow job. Heard it does wonders for the jitters.”

“YOU’RE LITERALLY SO GROSS!” She heard Kaia yell in the hallway, while Clare, Anna and Gwen giggled.

“Well, on that note. Good luck, mate,” he said, shutting the door behind him. Harry turned to Ellie, who was scrolling through her phone quick. She looked up and narrowed her eyes.

“So... was that an offer, or...?” He asked, chuckling. She put her phone down and walked over, running her hand along the bulge in his white and black bell bottom pants. He hissed and threw his head back.

“Will it help?” She asked, smirking. He nodded.

“We've got 30 minutes,” he said hastily undoing them.

“Good, I can get you off in 10,” she said, pulling her hair back in a ponytail.

 

 

Harry was always effervescent. Since she met him, he was always hyper like a kid drinking there first can of coke. Or a 5-year-old stuffed with candy. Not only was he jumpy and bubbly at home, truly proving he was never going to grow up, but when he walked onto stage, she could see it in his eyes. Even from feet away in the GA pit, he looked over the crowd like a king. He was born to be here. This was his home. His place. And the way he asserted himself made Ellie bite her bottom lip in desire. When they first had sex, his words echoed in her mind. 'Let me worship you like a goddess.' Well, he was her god. Against those white lights, the opening sounds of Only Angel playing as the lights dimmed and girls screamed. He truly looked celestial.

After a few songs, he paused, walking over and taking a sip of his water. Girls threw flowers, and things at his feet. Like a royal. He smiled out to them. A genuinely thankful look. Because he was humble enough to know all these people put him there. He rose because they chose him.

“At this point, I’d like to thank my crew, and my incredible band.” He sipped his water as the fans roared. “But most of all, you.” He gestured around him. “It's a known fact I wouldn't be on this stage or doing this right here, if it wasn't for the millions of you who support me everyday.” They cheered, girls around Ellie cried. She smiled up at him. God, they way he looked in those white bell bottom pants flaring out at the knees but hugging tightly to his strong thighs. Or the black tie around the neck of his shirt.

He acknowledged a couple of girls in the crowd. Sang a happy birthday to a few fans. Even took selfies with a phone on stage someone tossed to him. Ellie could see Liam wrapped around Kaia from behind. All her friends eyes were glued on Harry as he walked back and forth, talking to the girls. His eyes found Ellie and he smirked.

“I hope everyone's having fun tonight.” They screamed. “My girlfriend is actually here at the moment.” Ellie's face fell. What the fuck was he doing. Her friends cheered and the crowd flipped out. Her cheeks reddened. “She's a bit shy, but I do want to tell you all something. I met her, as cliché as it will sound, in a coffee shop.” She covered her face and he laughed. “I was honestly a bit rude, BUT! She still gave me a muffin free of charge.” He winked towards her. He held his finger up and smiled wickedly. “HOWEVER, it has come to my attention, that in the last year I've actually know my girl... I have never serenaded her.” Oh no. Oh my god, he’s fucking crazy. Every whooped and he put his hands up in defense. “I know, I’m terrible. So. Tonight, live on this stage...” The crowd was going insane at this point, everyone's eyes on either her or Harry. Phones at the ready, recording their every move. “I will sing this song to her. Yeh' may know it. If you do... sing it,” he screamed out.

Grabbing his acoustic guitar, he walked towards her side of the stage, and sat down on the edge. He waved to her and she blushed, trying her best to hide her face.

“GET IT, HARRY!” Kaia screamed from the corner where she stood with Liam, laughing.

“You’re ridiculous.” Ellie mouthed toward him, but he smugly blew her a kiss and began to sing. His eyes never left her, zeroing in on her and her only. In the crowd of wild fans, she felt like it was just her and him. His beautiful fingers glided across the strings, beginning the opening notes to Still The One by Shania Twain. Ellie smiled widely, her heart racing. He knew how much she loved this song, shed often hum it around the apartment and hed always join in enthusiastically. But now, on stage with a full band it lit up her world watching him perform it just for her. When the song ended and the crowd erupted, she was brought back. He blew her a kiss and stood up.

“Tha’s for you love,” he said slyly into the mic, sticking his ear piece back in.

 

After the show ended, Ellie was still in awe. Watching him perform had always been great, but tonight she saw a side of him that made her fall in love all over again. They were all gathered in the back room as Harry and the band came bounding in. He greeted everyone with a hug, as they all praised him.

“Did good, man,” Liam said, slapping his shoulder.

“Yeah, still waiting to see you perform though, mate,” he said, smiling. Liam laughed.

“Don't worry, you will,” he said, pointing a finger at him. Harry's eyes searched the room of people till they fell on Ellie, leaning against the table. She was watching him intently. He walked over towards her and smiled.

“How was it? Have fun?” He asked, resting his hands on her hips.

“If I really tell you how it was, you'll get very cocky very fast,” she said giggling.

“Was it really that fantastic?” She stood up kissed him lovingly, resting her forehead against his after pulling away. He caught his breath. “Wow. I should bring you on tour if you’re gonna kiss like that every night.”

“I've seen you perform... but that was... probably the most breathtaking thing ive seen in a while,” she said sincerely.

“I'm glad you enjoyed it.” She pushed the sweaty hair from his forehead.

“Thank you,” she said softly, her eyes sparkling. She didn't have to say what for either, because he knew. He knew the moment he walked in that she was radiating. He gave her a whole hearted smile and nodded.

“Anything for you, love. Always.” He kissed her once more before Jeff interrupted. He groaned but Ellie pushed him towards the door.

“Go be a rockstar,” she said poking him, as Jeff physically pulled him towards the door.

“But wanna stay here and get victory drunk-” He complained.

“Yeah after Mick Jagger, got a couple of interviews and pictures that need to be taken.” Jeff assured him.

 

 

After the show, everyone headed to a local lounge down in Soho. It was brick, with blue lights accenting the walls and a DJ playing in the background. It seemed everyone was having a great time. Gwen had dragged Anna on the dance floor, which was amusing. Clare and Hero were in the back corner. She was currently half asleep on his shoulder as he whispered soft things into her ear, making her giggle every now and then. Kaia and Liam were seated on the circular couch, with her and and Sarah and Harry’s other bandmate Clair. They were all chatting about, the girls still on a high from performing. She looked around, trying to find her curly-haired boy. He had disappeared some time ago, Mitch and Jeff hauling him to the bar. Ellie had stopped drinking literally an hour after they got there, knowing Harry was probably going to need assistance tonight. But she was okay, letting him have his fun.

She checked her phone and noticed it was going on 4am. Making a face, she excused herself to hunt him down. How did he still have energy? Christ. Locating him was pretty easy, and once he spotted her walking towards him at the bar, he smiled goofily and nudged Mitch.

“Look, it’s my most beautiful woman,” he slurred, shaking his hips a bit. Ellie laughed.

“You wanna head out? Its 3:45 already.” She asked as he threw his arm around her shoulder and pulled her into him. Mitch smiled.

“You should go home, man, rest up,” he said squeezing Harry's arm. Harry waved him off dramatically.

“Nunsense, M' fine. More than fine, M' fucking great,” he said, swaying a bit. Ellie wrapped her arm around his waist.

“Come on, let's go home, you,” she said, standing him. God, he was so tall. He groaned and made to turn back to the bar, but Jeff laughed.

“Harry, for fuck’s sake, you’re gonna dry out the booze,” Jeff said, shoving his friend back into Ellie's arms. She silently thanked them and headed towards the door. Liam and Kaia were heading there too and Liam laughed, seeing Harry’s state.

“Well, he looks bout ready to pass out,” Liam said, wrapping an arm around Kaia.

“Oh piss off, you, I’ve out-drank you before,” Harry said with a smirk.

“Need a hand?” Liam asked and Ellie shook her head.

“No, it’s ok-”

“Yeh, she's fine, mate. We’re just goin’ home, and have some ‘mazing sex, alright?” How the fuck did he even form that sentence? Ellie went red.

“You’re lucky I don't leave you on the street,” she said, propping him against the wall, thanking god there were no cameras or fans. He drunkenly sank against the brick building and giggled. “Gonna call Dale-- Hey!” Harry ripped the phone from her hand.

“We should walk, my beautiful love,” he says with a smirk, holding the phone above her short stature.

“Harry, it's 6 blocks-”

“Pshh, tha’s nothin'” He grabbed her hand and began to walk towards their apartment. It was a rather nice night out, not too cold not too hot. The spring air was refreshing. Harry wrapped his arm around her shoulder and walked onward. “So beautiful tonight. Just like you, my bub.” He tapped her nose, making her roll her eyes and giggle.

“Are you losing it?” She said, gripping his waist tightly to keep him upright. He sighed contently and laid his head on hers.

“I’m hungry. We should get food-- oh, I want french fries!” He exclaimed suddenly.

“Okay--” But he pressed a finger to her lip.

“I lied, I want a snack- perhaps kale chips.” He pondered out loud. She loved her giddy drunk boyfriend.

“Christ, how many drinks did you have?”

“A lot. Did you like when I sang to yah?” He asked, watching his feet as he stumbled a bit.

“Yeah, it was actually the nicest thing any man has ever done for me...kinda like a fairytale.” She trailed off. Harry smiled, dimples appearing on his cheeks.

“Fairytale, yeah? Shall I be your prince?” He said, stopping and bending forward with a hand out.

“What are you doing?” She said, raising an eyebrow, but she can't help laughing at him.

“I’m asking the beautiful princess for a dance, of course. We didn't dance tonight,” he said peeking up from his curly hair. His cheeks were red from the alcohol and he was still a bit unstable. She shook her head.

“Oh prince, there isn't any music,” She said, going along with his act.

“Nonsense, fair maiden. We shall create our own-” He grabbed her hand and pulled her towards him. She yelped and he spun her around, crashing her against his chest. She giggled as he waltzed them back and forth on the sidewalk. They receive a couple of glances from onlookers. “Taking my hand, pulling me up when I'm going under!” Harry sang out.

“I'll never get your obsession with country music.” He laughed and dipped her. She gasped, grabbing his arm. He leaned down.

“Don't you worry, my princess, not gonna drop yeh,” he said with a half smile. She stood up and he continued to sing, spinning them in circles. “My dreams come alive when I wake up and look in her eyes. She brings me back to life.” After a moment, Ellie broke away, still smiling like a madwoman. He took her hand in his and swung it back and forth. She saw a Duane Reed and steered them towards it. When they walked in, Harry broke away. “I'll get the snacks,” he said running down the aisle like a 10-year-old. Ellie walked down the drink aisle and grabbed a couple of ice teas. They met at the register and Harry purchased everything.

“You could've got something junky,” she whined as he pulls out his kale chips. He smirked and ate one in front of her. “So gross.”

“Figured you might feel that way, princess.” He reached in the bag and handed her M&M's. Her face lit up. He smiled triumphantly. “See? I know, my love.”

“That you do.” She pecked his cheek before diving into her snack. They're almost home and Ellie smiled.

“I’m so glad you moved in,” he said, leaning down and kissing her softly.

“So am I, even though I technically lived here before--”

“Can't wait to buy a house with you, love,” he said, swooning and closing his eyes. She peeked up at him.

“You want to buy a house with me?” He turned to her, confused.

“Course... when we have babies, they will need rooms yeah?” He smirked at her. She almost choked on an M&M. “Plus, we can get one on a beach, so we can hear the waves at night.” He turned around and watched her, his feet walking him backwards making her nervous.

“You’re not sober, please turn around before you trip and die,” she said, tossing a red M&M at him. He huffed and stuck his tongue out.

“How come you get all uncomfortable when I talk ‘bout our future, hm?” Well, she wasn't expecting that question. She paused and shrugged.

“Dunno. Just didn't really think you'd want me that long-Oof. Harry what the hell-” She says accidently walking into his chest as he stops short. He cups her face in his hands and forces her to look up.

“I meant what I said ya know. That night two weeks ago? I’m gonna marry yeh. Want to make a bunch of beautiful babies with yeh-” He rested his forehead on hers and her breath caught in her chest. She forced her anxiety down. She knew he was telling the truth. But that little seed of doubt sat inside her brain, taunting her. telling her no one stays forever.

“Harry-”

“No, shush. I don't wanna hear it n'ymore. Not going anywhere, petal. I’m staying right here. Not letting you go,” he whispered, pressing a kiss to the corner of her mouth. She couldn’'t help the smile that played on her lips. “Now let's get upstairs. Wanna practice,” he said, interlocking both her hands in his and kissing her fingers.

“Practice for what?” She said as he dragged her through the front door. He turned and snorted.

“Making babies, of course'” She laughed as he yanked her into the elevator and hit their floor.


	28. Chapter 28

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Monday loves. even though mondays suck, i cheer you up with a DOUBLE UPDATE WOOOOOOO. You deserve it. And you deserve smiles and hugs and all the good shit. So enjoy and comment <3

**_Buzz. Buzz. Buzzz._ **

Ellie groaned and threw her hand over her face. Harry groaned as well, further burying his head into her neck. Once again, Ellie's ringtone blared from her phone on the nightstand.

 

“Turn that fucking thing off, Ellanore.” Harry growled from behind her. She sighed and hit it again. No sooner than 10 minutes later, it went off again. “For fuck’s sake.” He sighed and pulled her into him. Reaching over her and grabbing her phone, he squinted at the name. “It’s 1pm. Go ‘way,” he said with a yawn. Ellie took the phone and noticed the number. Her mother. Harry took the phone from her hand and tossed it back on the dresser, pulling her into him. She felt his lips trail kisses down her jaw, across her neck, and between her breasts. She sighed in contentment.

 

“Just got you back. Yeh' mine for a while,” he whispered into her ear, his hands gingerly squeezing her ass.

 

“Agreed,” she said, rolling him onto his back. Hovering over him, her hair falling around them, she leaned in and kissed him, letting her tongue lick across his bottom lip. His hands grazed along her back, fingers tracing her tattoos. She loved when he did that. Always complimenting her body art. Telling her she was like a beautiful painting. She slipped her leg over his waist, straddling him. “Someone’s awake.” She laughed as he bucked his bare hips against hers. Her fingers curled against his shoulders. “Rude,” she said, gritting her teeth and throwing her head back at the friction between them.

 

“What’s rude is that I haven't properly made love to you again... in the past eight hours,” he said pushing her back and switching there positions. She giggled as he trapped her wrists above her head. “Now naughty one.” He leaned down, brushing his mouth under her ear, causing her to gasp and arch her back. “God, I've missed yeh,”  _ Kiss.  _ “The way you taste,”  _ Kiss.  _ “The way you sound when you moan my name.” His tongue licked a stripe right down to her nipple. He closed his mouth and sucked hard, making her moan.

 

“Fuck--Harry--” She was a puddle under him. All she needed was to taste him again, to get lost in his mouth and his body. To feel him fill her completely.

 

“Now now, patience, kitten.” The nickname made her let out another moan. Fuck, he was relentless. But she loved it this way. She loved that he took his time in making her reach her highest form of ecstacy.

 

**_Buzz. Buzz. Buzz._ **

 

Harry sighed in defeat, cuddling into Ellie’s neck. She reached over him and opened the text.

 

**The Bro ho:**

_ Mom wants you guys to come for dinner next week. She’s worried you’re not answering.Thinks you’re dead. _

  
  


As Ellie read the text, she could feel Harry's hands roaming down her thighs, his lips once again on a mission, sucking against her neck. She could tell he was trying to distract her and it was definitely working. Especially when he noticed the name on the text and frowned. He took her phone and tossed it next to them, engulfing her with a deep kiss. She moaned a bit, smiling at how handsy he was this morning.

 

After another 30 minutes of cuddling and kissing, Ellie sighed and gave into her bladder. She had to pee like crazy and Harry was just going to have to deal with it. He whined when she departed from his embrace, reaching out like he was Jack in  _ Titanic _ . When she came back, she noticed he was passed out again, soft snores coming from his mouth.

 

She made her way into the kitchen and opened the balcony doors for some spring weather. She loved the smell of spring. Cliche yes, but flowers and beautiful sun rays. It was welcoming to her. Winter had always taken a toll on her depression. Her doctor called it a lack of Vitamin D or something. Opening the fridge, she pulled out some eggs and, then grabbed some bacon. She started the stove up and began to cook her and Harry some late brunch. She turned her country Spotify playlist on, and shameless hummed along to Jason Aldean. Her friends constantly made fun of her for her love of country music, but it was really what she grew up on. Her dad had really been into it, used to play it in the car for her, and she’d sing every Toby Keith, Faith Hill and Shania Twain song she could at the top of her lungs.

 

Her heart stung at the thought of her dad. She never really talked about him or what exactly happened. All she knew was that one day when she was five, she woke up and he was gone. Gone from their lives like it had been so easy. She didn't know if he was alive or dead or had another family or was some bum on the street.

 

“Hey,” Harry's voice startled her and she jumped. He rubbed his eyes and let out a yawn. She noticed his bare ass as he bent down to grab some water from the fridge.

 

“You gonna put on pants or moon the entirety of NYC?” He smirked, still a bit sleep drowsy.

 

“It’s an honor for them to see my tight bum.” He came up behind her and kissed her neck.

 

“So touchy feely, aren't we?” She said, sliding the eggs onto there plates and adding avocado toast to Harry's .

 

“Haven't been able to touch you in weeks. Don't deprive me,” he said, pecking her cheek and taking his plate to the other side of the island. He slid into a stool and began to nom on his gross health food. Ellie watched him as he moaned in pleasure about her cooking. She laughed and shook her head.

 

“It’s toast, not filet mignon.” He chuckled and threw a crust at her. She dodged it and stuck her tongue out. Today was their day. No one else. No school, no work. She told her friends to bother her tomorrow. It was just him and her for the rest of the day.

 

“So what we goin’ to do today?” He asked, sipping his water. Shrugging, Ellie looked up.

 

“Not sure, we could... watch some movies? We do have to go shopping for more food,” she said, pulling her hair back. He nodded, biting his lip, a huge smile on his lips. “What's that face?”

 

“Like a normal couple.” Her heart warmed at his words. Yeah, they were pretty domestic today. Going shopping with him was gonna be kinda fun. Even it was just to Target. She felt his fingers intertwine with hers and he pressed his lips to her knuckles. “Join me for a shower?” He asked hopefully, his eyes dilating as they ran over her body.

 

“Go get your ass in there, I'll be there in a minute,” she said, giggling. He bounded for the bathroom, snagging a small kiss on her lips before starting the shower. All her thoughts were surrounded by him and she felt at peace. At peace from her stress about her final weeks of school. At peace with what she was going to do for the rest of her life. And just like that, her bubble was shattered. Her phone began to buzz again and she heavily leaned on the island table. Picking it up, she read the text.

 

**The Bro Ho:**

_ Mom says come over next saturday. Wants to celebrate your graduation with dinner. _

 

**Ellie:**

_ why? _

 

**The Bro Ho:**

_ I don't think you can outrun them this time, dude. Might as well bite the bullet. _

 

Goddamnit. Fucking DAMN IT. Groaning, she shoved the phone aside. Avoiding her family was what she did for three years and succeeded. Did she miss her siblings? I mean sorta. Mostly her brother, even though they weren't blood related. But she knew she would be bringing Harry into a lion’s den. Full force with no escape. But if she didn't do this, they'd keep hounding her and she didn't trust her family too much.

 

  
  
  
  


Ellie stood on her tippy toes massaging Harry's scalp with shampoo. His head was down in front of her as she carded her fingers through his silky chocolate curls. God, how she wish she could hide forever in here with him. But she couldn't. She knew he belonged to the world.

 

“Baby, what's on your mind?” He asked, taking her wrists in his hands. She gave him a little smile and shook her head.

 

“Thoughts. What about yours?” He laughed a little and began to wash the soap from his hair.

 

“I too have thoughts.” When he was done, he flipped his hair back and splashed her, making her giggle.

 

“Dipshit, careful. You almost smacked your face into the glass door,” she said, nudging him. He handed her the body wash and gave her puppy dog eyes. “Oh yeah?” She said, biting her lip and pouring some on her hands. She ran her fingers tips down his shoulders, along his arms and towards his torso. He leaned his head back, eyes closing as she made her way further towards his thighs. Every beautiful muscle relaxed under her touch, and she could tell he was in pure bliss. When she stood up, he gently leaned down and pressed his lips against hers, kissing her tenderly.

 

“So beautiful, my little petal,” he whispered. She loved his nicknames. She loved that he called her things like petal, love, and bub. It sent shivers down her spine. All these feelings were so new to her. Being unconditionally loved and pampered. Having someone wanting to care for the way she cared for everyone else in her life. “You gonna' tell me what's bothering you?” He asked, his lips sucking on her collarbone. With a sigh, she knew she was trapped.

 

“My uh... my mom wants us to go down next Saturday to the beach house,” she said hesitantly. He froze and looked up at her.

 

“Do you... do we go?” He asked cautiously, scared she might have a harsh reaction. Biting her lip, she groaned.

 

“Honestly, we don't have a choice at this point. It's either we go and they leave us the fuck alone for a while... Hopefully three more years or.. we don't go and they either show up here unannounced or worse, hound me ‘till I go full panic disorder mode.” She leaned her head on his chest, her fingers running along his butterfly tattoo. She felt his hands wind around her bare back and rub circles into it.

 

“Then let's go,” he said finally, making her look up.

 

“Seriously?”

 

“Ellanore, for the sake of your health.. we can go. Besides, you won't be facing them alone this time. I'm here.” He was right. She’s got her support system. Kaia and her friends refused to go with her the last time in fear they'd end up in jail for tearing her stepfather and mom apart. Which she didn't put past them. But she had Harry now. And he wanted to help her fight her battles. And this was one of them.

 

“Okay. Yeah, fuck it. Let’s do this,” she responded and he smiled widely.

 

“Now that that's settled,” he said, kneeling down in front of her. She gasped when he hauled her up against the cold granite wall. He dipped his face between her legs licking her thigh as she grabbed his hair.

 

“What are you doing, you crazy person--”

 

“M' having dinner,” he said matter of factly. She smacked the back of his head lightly and he snickered at the way her cheeks flared red.

 

“You’re so vulgar.”

 

“Like you aren't? How many times before we dated had you mentioned you wanted to ride some celebrity’s face?” She blushed.

 

“Yeah, but that's a bit different-”

 

“Is not--Now I’m hungry, so lift your legs up.” She gasped as he wrapped them around his shoulders and he licked a hot stripe from her back to her clit. Fuck, he could literally destroy her with just his tongue. The grip in his hair tightened and she tugged a bit, making him moan out and dig his hands into her hips.

 

“Ell, if you do that, this is going to turn into much more than me eating you out,” he said through gritted teeth.

 

“Shit sorry--Did I hurt you?” She asked worried.

 

“No it’s ehm--a bit of a turn on, actually.” With a mischievous grin, she pulled back a bit more and he hissed. “Naughty girl. For that, I’m not letting you cum for a bit.” She frowned.

 

“No--not fair.”

 

“Play nice then, kitten.” He growled and once again lapped his tongue around her clit, making her cry out. Her thighs squeezed shut a bit as he sucked between her folds, making her core heat up. He was too fucking good at this. Unexpectedly, she felt two fingers slide inside her making her moan at the sudden intrusion. She could feel the cold of his rings, right to his knuckles as he curled them grazed her upper walls. Holy actual fuck. She knew sex was amazing, but Harry made it out of the fucking world. Her legs were shaking as he pumped his fingers in and out vigorously. The warm water pelted down on them, making her slide up and down the wall a bit.

 

“So wet for me, not even fucking you with my cock,” he said, pulling away. His voice was deep and raspy, and she whimpered when he retreated. “Go ahead, beautiful, cum on my mouth.” Her walls contracted as he grazed her g-spot, causing her to gasp and dig her nails into his arm. He smiled as she came undone, around him. He sucked and gave one last lick before wiping at his mouth and sucking his fingers clean. “Delicious,” he said, pressing his hips to hers.

 

“Even in the fucking shower were filthy.” He chuckled at her as she attempted to catch her breath.

 

“Love that I can make you turn to jelly under me,” he murmured into her ear. She smiled, sated, and turned to him.

 

“It’s fucking amazing. Not gonna lie.” He kissed her neck.

 

 

  
  
  


She didn't want this day to end. Just her and Harry entwined on the couch. Soft sounds of Rascal Flatts' Rewind, humming through the speakers. It was dark, lit by candles and the lights from the city through the open balcony doors. Harry's head lay on her chest as she slid her fingers through his hair. It was almost a dream. One she prayed every night she wouldn't wake up from. Who knew the fuckboy from the cafe that day would ultimately change her life? For the better.

 

“Your heart rate is fast,” she heard him mumble, his eyes still closed. She smiled softly.

 

“That's ‘cause I have a hot guy between my legs.” He laughed lightly and ran his hand up her bare thigh.

 

“Just want to lay here forever.”  _ Agreed _ , she thought bitterly. But finals were next week, and then she'd be graduating. She still had so much to do. Find an internship with a solid background for a job. Figure out her life in general. Not to mention pay back thousands in her student loans. Harry must've felt her tense, and he peeked his head up. “S’all right, love. We'll have plenty of nights like this,” he said calmly. She sighed and nodded. God, she hoped so. “Where's your mind, love?”

 

“Just... future shit. Like graduation and working and stuff...” She trailed off.

 

“What were you thinking?”

 

“Not sure... definitely want to work for a magazine or company. Just gotta figure out how,” she answered. Harry raised an eyebrow.

 

“If I put your name--” She made to stop him, but he covered her mouth, with a smile. “Not saying I'm getting you a job, so relax. I’m saying, I can help you look up good companies who are in your photography style... Although, you can always intern at my label. That way you can really see what type you'd like to do.” She sighed. That's technically not giving her a job… that's more like an opportunity. But still, it felt... wrong.

 

“I’m never going to win this fight, am I?” He shook his head and she rolled her eyes. “Fine. Just help me fill out the internship forms and that's it. Don't put my name at the top of a pile or anything. And don't fucking mention I'm your girlfriend... even though I’m sure they know that already.” His eyes lit up and he placed a kiss on her neck.

 

“I’m so excited,” he said nuzzling up to her. Goddamn cute asshole. Knew exactly what he was doing. His fingers traced along her side and she softened as his touch.

 

“Yeah, I'm gonna need a good paying job to pay off all these fucking loans. Although I still might work at the cafe... can't say goodbye to that place just yet.”

 

“Petal...”

 

“Yes flower?” He laughed and furrowed his brows. “What? I’m a petal to your flower.” He snorted.

 

“ Weirdo... Anyway. How come you haven't... you know, sold some of your work?” She shrugged.

 

“Not many people want to buy your face.” He snickered.

 

“Meant' the other pieces. Saw that grayscale of the nude woman's back... quite breathtaking.”

 

“You been snooping on my laptop?” She teased.

 

“S'not snooping when it's your background, bub,” True. She had finished that piece last week. He must've seen it this morning on the counter when she was finishing up emails to her professors. It was one of her most calculated works. Her professor even told her it would sell nicely if she chose to go that route. She often questioned why she hadn't sold her stuff. Mainly because she felt like it was selling her parts of her personally. Like she was selling out... or people wouldn't actually want it. It was always doubt and fear that stopped her. Or her stepfather’s and mother’s words.  _ Art isn't a career. You're never going to make money that way. It's a useless trade. You don't need school for that. Anyone can draw a stick figure or take a picture. _

 

“Ell, stop. I can see that look on your face.” She snapped out of it to see Harry frowning at her.

 

“I just.. I don't know. It’s fine. Besides, no one's gonna want to buy them. Most of them are you anyway.” He frowned deeply.

 

“Your work is so moving, Ellanore... I wish you could see that.”

 

“It can be as moving as it wants to be... but I can't make a career out of that. I’m lucky to get a job as a photographer.”

 

“But your photos are just as... especially the ones you take of us. Where I’m wrapped around you in the mirror. I adore that one... Or you know those ones we took of me and the guitar.” She blushed. Oh god. The first time she saw him naked. He smirked at her reddened cheeks and she buried her face in her hands.

 

“Oh, so now you’re bashful,” he said, poking her side. She jumped and bit her lip.

 

“I can't fucking believe you made me do that. You knew what you were doing, you little shit.” He slapped her thigh and she gasped. “Aye--play nice!” She giggled as he took his bottom lip between his teeth.

 

“You loved how nice my cock looked under that beautiful guitar...”

 

“I was a professional that day, thank you very much. I didn't notice your dick. Or how tight your ass was.” He burst out laughing and buried his face into her chest.

 

“Knew you couldn't resist, you naughty girl.” He raised an eyebrow, waiting for her to cave because he knew just how hot and bothered she was when she left the studio. “How wet were you, pet?” He whispered in her ear. She groaned and turned over.

 

“You’re impossible,” she mumbled and he kissed her jaw.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  



	29. Chapter 29

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just as promised bubs, another update<3

Having Harry home the past couple of days was amazing. Just waking up wrapped in those warm tattooed biceps was everything. The little snores coming from him pressed on her side or her neck. Not to mention the goodnight sex, the morning sex, the shower sex... yeah they couldn't keep their hands off each other. Half of her feared he'd get bored or sick of her. But he was more clingy then she was. Which she liked. But always, it's back to reality. She currently stood behind the counter of her job, smiling at a customer and taking their order. She spotted Harry relaxing over in the corner, sitting in comfy couch area. He was sunk into half the love seat, a pen between his teeth, his hair half up in a bun. The sharp look of concentration taking over his features.

 

“God, you two are gross. Stop eye-fucking him from across the place,” Hailey said, nudging her. Ellie laughed and shook her head. “I can't fucking believe you two are a thing. You literally told him to fuck himself the first time you met.” Ellie laughed.

 

“Yeah, well, it was all the free pastries.” Ellie winked.

 

“So weird. But hey, dude looks ridiculously happy. So there's that. Plus, you look like you shit rainbows now.”

 

“First of all, I was always this effervescent.” Ellie finished pouring the clients cup and smiled. “And secondly, opposites tend to attract.”

 

“Yeah, but you guys must fight like.. a lot... and that make up sex..” She sighed happily.

 

“You will never know the details of our sex life, thank you very much,” she said before handing the customer their drink order and bidding them goodbye.

 

“We don't have to. Whenever you walk in here with that dorky look on your face we know you got laid,” Max replied from the back window.

 

“You guys fucking suck, do you know that?”

 

“We’re aware,” Max said winking slyly.

  
  


The cafe seemed quiet. Only a few patrons came and went. All the while, Harry sat writing in his notebook. She noticed a few girls ask for photos and he happily obliged, chatting with them a bit before they'd say goodbye. She always loved watching him talk to fans. He was always genuine. Ellie shut her drawing book when she noticed a woman walk up to the counter, one hand pushing a carriage and the other dipped in her briefcase to pull out her wallet. She looked frazzled and Ellie felt a bit bad for her.

 

“Hey, what can I get you?” Ellie asked patiently.

 

“Hi, actually, is Max here by chance?” Ellie looked at the blonde curiously. “Oh--sorry! I’m his sister. Uhm, my babysitter literally canceled on me and I was wondering if he could just watch his nephew for like a half hour while I do this interview? It's literally right here in the cafe, I just don't wanna have the little guy next to me, ya know?” She asked, laughing a bit and pushing her hair behind her ear. Max's sister was beautiful. Blonde hair, blue eyes. Thin and tall. She looked more like a model than a business woman.

 

“Well, he actually just dipped out for his break, but I can keep an eye on him if you'd like?” She suggested, looking over the counter at the small baby kicking his feet. She instantly smiled. She always had such a soft spot for them. “I’m Ellie, by the way. Max and I are friends.”

 

“Oh, you’re the artist! He tells me about you, oh god, could you? We’d literally be like fifteen feet away right there. I just need like thirty minutes. Kind of an important law firm thing,” She said hastily.

 

“Yeah, no worries. Hailey--I’m taking my 45!” She yelled to the backroom. Hailey popped up and gave her the thumbs up as Ellie took off her apron and walked around the front. She bent down in front of the carriage and smiled widely. “Hey little man, wanna hang out?” He gurgled and reached out to her, grabbing her finger. “How old is he?”

 

“About four months. His name’s Timmy.” She responded. “ He might want a bottle in ten minutes. It’s already made in the bag. I'll pay you--” Ellie held her hand up.

 

“Don't be ridiculous--It’s nothing.” Max's sister Karen, she learned, looked about ready to cry in relief. She thanked Ellie a hundred times and walked over to the medium table in the corner to set up. 

 

“Come on, bud, wanna go sit by Harry?” She said, carting them over towards the couches. Harry peaked up and pulled his headphone of his ear. His eyes landed on the baby and he looked up at Ellie in confusion.

 

“Have I missed something? This the part you tell me you've actually been hiding a baby for a year?” He smirked and Ellie rolled her eyes, sitting across from him.

 

“Obviously.” He laughed and eyed Timmy. “Nah, it’s Max's nephew. His mom’s over there doing an interview so I thought I’d help out. Wanna come out, little dude?” She said, unbuckling the baby and scooping him up against her chest. He gurgled and looked up at her with big blue eyes. 

 

“Hi bubs, so handsome, you are.” She caressed his little round cheek and he cooed.

 

“Didn't know you knew anything ‘bout children,” he said, watching her intensely. She bounced Timmy a bit and he gurgled.

 

“Yeah, used to volunteer at a daycare center when I was 16. Plus, helped raise my sisters and stuff,” she said, making faces at the baby. Harry nodded in understanding.

 

“He likes you...” He said, admiring how the little boy was laughing at her. She giggled at him and pressed a kiss to his nose.

 

“Such a good boy. Look at you,” she said, nuzzling his tummy. Timmy laughed and grabbed at her hair. When she put him on her lap, he looked over to Harry and made grabby hands.

 

“You wanna go see Harry? Oh, I bet you wanna grab his hair, don't you?” Ellie said, turning the chubby baby towards her boyfriend. Harry looked at her for a moment before taking him in his arms and instantly lighting up.

 

“Well ‘lo there, little man.” The baby grinned widely and reached out, touching Harry's face. He laughed and looked up at Ellie.

 

“Apparently you’re good with kids too,” she said, crossing her arms and raising a brow.

 

“Yeah well, I’m a god father,” he said, bouncing Timmy on his leg.

 

“No shit.” Ellie never knew that. Harry shrugged.

 

“Shit. My friend Ben's daughter.” Ellie nodded and watched the two interact. Something inside Ellie warmed her. Her thoughts drifted to what he'd look like maybe holding their baby someday. How he'd kiss and play with them, rock them to sleep in his arms as he sang to them. Fuck, was that weird? She didn't care. Cause all she wanted to do at this moment was jump his bones, as he placed a kiss on Timmy's little cheek. Crap. He'd be a good dad. Probably like a kid himself but that's what she liked.

 

“Think he's hungry, El.” She snapped out of it and reached into the carriage for his baby bag. She grabbed the bottle and took Timmy back in her arms, laying him down and putting it to his lips. He immediately latched on and began drinking. She watched him as he gripped her finger tightly and she couldn't help but smile at how beautiful and innocent he was. No cares. No worries. Just lovable and free. She looked up and caught Harry staring at her and she blushed.

 

“What's that face?” She asked shyly.

 

“What face?” He responded cheekily.

 

“That one you're giving me now, it's creeping me out,” she said, laughing a bit and looking down again.

 

“You look good holding a baby, love.” She felt her face heat up at his words. The way he was smiling at her was like she was his entire world. Sure, he always did that, but now... now he's got this light in his eyes.

 

“Yeah well, so do you, babe,” she said softly. He licked his lips and kept his gaze on her until she finished feeding Timmy his bottle. She burped him and gently rocked him back and forth. All the while Harry stared and reveled in how perfect she looked. Holding a little baby in her arms, and the glow of happiness it brought to her. Something he hadn't seen before and here he was, imaging what she'd look like with their future children. Sure, they'd joked about it, but he was 110% serious. He wanted a solid future with her, a wedding, a big house. Several babies running about. He was sure she wanted that too. Especially at how fitting she looked. He noticed the baby's eyes shut as she swayed her arms back and forth, her hand gently running along his peach fuzz hair.

 

“Look at that, like you’re a master or something,” he whispered and she looked up at him lovingly. She shrugged and gently placed the baby back in the carriage.

 

“Just always had a soft spot for kids,” she said, biting her lip.

 

Max's sister Karen appeared next to her and smiled down at her son. She turned to Ellie and thanked her.

 

“God, look at that. He must've adored you,” she said softly. “Good practice for when you have some little ones,” she said, gathering his stuff and pushing the carriage away. She leaned over and hugged Ellie one last time before departing. Harry smirked at her and then turned back to his notebook, plugging his headphones back in .

 

  
  
  
  


Ellie paced back and forth, throwing certain clothes in her bag then taking them back out. As she fidgeted with everything she owned, Harry gradually folded his stuff and watched her over stress. By the fifth time she started to repack her suitcase, Harry sighed and grabbed her by the shoulders. She stopped.

 

“Love, please you’re going to wear holes in the floor,” he said, chuckling a bit. She groaned and put her head in her hands.

 

“God, this should not be fucking stressful. I mean, who cares what they think, right? Like I don't like them anyway and... ugh.” She rubbed her face in frustration. Who cares, right? For some reason, she did. All of a sudden, introducing her boyfriend to her family was going to be such an event. It's not like she hadn't done it before. Except her last boyfriend was a disgusting bastard who really did a number on her head. She never liked to speak about it, but she never had sex after her first time. She had told Harry she was a virgin, because she had regretted that night so much. To her, it didn't even count. Fifteen minutes and it was the worst fifteen minutes of her adult life. Her boyfriend Brandon at the time was controlling and mean. She never noticed it at first because he was always affectionate with her, but... something changed months later. Not to mention the whole reason they broke up was because she caught him fucking some blonde the last day of senior year at some house party. However, her trust in Harry was so strong that she knew he wasn't going anywhere. That's why she was so okay with losing it to him.

 

“Ellie, you with me?” Harry said, snapping her from her nightmare. She jumped and nodded.

 

“Sorry. Got lost, uhm. We're driving in, yeah?” She asked, once again busying herself. Harry frowned and nodded.

 

“I’m only going if you calm down. Last thing I need is for you to have a panic attack,” he said softly. Standing up, he placed his hands comfortingly on her arms stopping her in her tracks. “Breathe, yeah?” She nodded, inhaling and exhaling slowly. She could do this. Oh god... what if she couldn’t? Fuck. She looked up into Harry's calm green eyes and she instantly felt her anxiety deflate. She's got him. Her best friend and her person. She can do it.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  



	30. Chapter 30

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> MY LOVESSSSSS! Happy Holidayssss! So heres a banger. Its long, its drama and i re-wrote it alot because it had to be perfect.

            The trees and large fields past them as they drove deeper into Long Island. Harry was leaning against the window, sleeping peacefully as the country station played. Ellie insisted on driving due to the fact that she needed a distraction and driving always settled her nerves. He looked so beautiful with this hair flowing against the half opened window. She would be lying if she said she didn't appreciate living here. Long Island was a beautiful place. Well, where she lived was. A huge house on a beach. Her mother had her dream when she married her stepdad. Hed given her everything she wanted. Security. Love. But it was all something Ellie could never get behind. 

 

          Money never made people truly happy. That wasn't real love. To be bought. Her dream was to find someone who made her smile and feel alive without dropping thousands to do so. Even if it was something as simple as making her breakfast in the morning or sending her a goodnight text. Little things. Harry had done that. She knew he wanted to spoil her and give her everything. But he had no idea how deep he’d dug into her heart. By picking up her medicine that one time when she had her period. Or even when she couldn't sleep at night and he’d rub her back to ease her. God, she was done for. She hoped he thought of her as his forever because she definitely saw him as hers.

 

       The familiar scent of ocean hit her nostrils and she knew she was back home. She pulled down the long stretch of Main Street. Small expensive shops and eateries were busy with the weekend buzz. She sighed and lowered the music as Harry let out a yawn and rubbed at his eyes. He looked around, taking in the new surroundings.

 

“Pretty cool over here,” he muttered. Ellie just nodded and subconsciously tightened her grip on the steering wheel. He looked over at her and took her hand in his, giving it a squeeze. She smiled to him thankfully. Her knight in shining armor. That's what he truly was. They reached a long winding road, the ocean outstretching on Ellie’s side. She saw the gate and stopped the car, punching in the code. Harry raised an eyebrow at her.

 

“You have no idea how extra my mother is,” she said, rolling her eyes. He chuckled.

 

“I have a feeling I'm about to find out,” he said.

 

They drove up and Ellie finally turned into a large black wrought-iron gated driveway. Harry peaked around and let out a small whistle.

 

“So you’re pretty well off,” he said, laughing and she smacked his arm, making him yelp and rub at it.

 

“Shut up,” she grumbled. “Fucking hate it.”

 

“Can't be that bad,” he said, shrugging. She shot him a glare, making him quiet his thoughts instantly. “Sorry, kitten.” Ellie pulled his landrover up next to a black GMC and silver Mercedes. She sighed. Great. Her sister was home. She took another deep breath before Harry leaned over and pressed a kiss to her shaky lips. She hungrily returned it and he pulled away a bit. “None of that.”

 

“Do not tell me we’re not having sex this weekend,” she said giggling. When she noticed his rather serious face, she groaned. “Oh, come on-”

 

“I’m trying to get your family to like me, love, I don't want to ruin chances--”

 

“Harry, I swear to god--I have to get my anxiety out some way and if you refuse to fuck me, how is that going to help at all? You know how that calms me down!” She could hear him laughing next to her. Rude.

 

“Well see alright? Besides, we have to come up with better ways for you to cope with an attack. You can't ride me everytime your panicky love,” He said matter of factly. Going to get out of the car. She reached over and closed his door making him look at her confused.

 

“Harry. This house is fucking huge. Were not giving up our sex life or PDA for that matter. Besides, as much as I dislike my family living here, this house is beautiful. My room has sliding doors to the damn beach.” He froze. “Me and you are taking advantage of the hottub on my balcony, understood?” He smiled slyly at her.

 

“As long as you can keep your voice down,” he said narrowing his eyes. Well, that would be hard, but fine.

 

“Deal. Help me with the bags.” She jumped out of the car and walked around to the back. She popped the trunk and Harry grabbed both luggages before they turned to see the door open. Bounding down the stairs was a huge German Shepherd and Ellie squealed, dropping her stuff.

 

“Holli!” She said, dropping to her knees as the dog jumped on her and licked her face. Harry noticed as she wrapped her arms around the dog and cuddled her tightly. “My baby girl, hi beauty!” She said, giving her kisses. Holli then noticed Harry and immediately ran for him. Ellie giggled as Holli sniffed him cautiously before jumping on him, knocking their bags to the ground. Harry laughed and pet her behind the ears, earning some kisses as well.

 

“She's beautiful, hey girl,” he said looking over at Ellie who stood up and brushed off the dirt on her jeans.

 

“Yeah, I rescued her eight years ago.” She bent down and grabbed her and Harry’s suitcase as Holli ran back to the house. He smiled and leaned down, kissing her cheek.

 

“My girl, always doing good.” She smiled at him as he took his bag from her and they walked up the steps. Standing there was her littlest sister Nat. She grinned wildly and ran to Ellie, almost knocking her down. Ellie laughed and hugged her back.

 

“Holy crap, why are you so tall?” Ellie asked, pulling away. Nat shrugged.

 

“Ya know, puberty,” she said, looking over at Harry.

 

“Hi, I’m--” Harry began, outstretching his hand. Nat crossed her arms and assessed him up and down.

 

“You must be the boyfriend...” She started before narrowing her eyes and pointing her finger at him. “I know you’re Harry Styles and all, but if you hurt my sister, I know where you live.” Harry let out a laugh of amusement.

 

“Jesus, Nat,” Ellie said in shock.

 

“Noted,” he said with a wink. “No worries, I’m sure Ellie will kill me herself if I hurt her,” he said, shrugging.

 

“Alright, enough guys,” Ellie said laughing and separating them. Nat leaned over and smiled at her big sister.

 

“I like him. Don't mess it up,” she said before walking into the kitchen.

 

“Kid’s gotta lay of the crime dramas,” she muttered and Harry snorted.

 

“I like her. She's like a mini-you.”

 

The sudden sound of small feet came bounding around the corner and Ellie gasped and bent down, opening her arms to the brown haired 4-year-old.

 

“Peanut! Look at you, big girl!” The little girl ran into Ellie’s arms and she whisked her up, kissing her cheek.

 

“Aun Ellie!” She squealed.

 

“Where's mom and dad?” Ellie asked, pushing her little hair out of her face. She pointed to the back of the house and smiled big.

 

“In ‘dere.” Ellie nodded.

 

“Thanks, little bean.” She kissed her cheek again and earned a round of giggles. Ellie noticed the way Maddie's eyes were glued to Harry all of a sudden. “Maddie, wanna meet my friend?” Ellie said, turning to Harry. Harry smiled and waved.

 

“Are you Aun’ Ellie's boyfriend?” She asked confidently. Ellie snorted.

 

“I am,” Harry replied leaning down.

 

“Do you love her?”

 

“I do. Very much.”

 

“Is you gonna be married? Cause my mommy and daddy love each other but they’re not married.” Harry laughed and looked over at Ellie, whose face was bright red.

 

“Only if she says yes, one day,” he said to Maddie, who smiled and nodded.

 

“Are you gonna have babies?” Harry laughed and Ellie quickly cut her off.

 

“OKAY, AND WE’RE DONE!” Ellie said, giggling and tickling her nieces belly. “Did mommy tell you to interrogate him?” Ellie asked in suspicion. Her thoughts were confirmed when Maddie bit her lip and buried her face in El's shoulder. Just then a beautiful tall brunette woman with hazel eyes walked in and smiled at Ellie, hugging her. Ellie then put Maddie down and hugged her brother’s girlfriend back.

  
  


“Damn, she didn't get far, did she?” She asked, pulling away.

 

“No, Lex, I stopped her before she made it to the baby questions. Real fucking smooth, by the way.”

 

“What? It'd be invasive if Shawn or I asked. Oh, you must be Harry! Nice to meet you.” She said, outstretching her hand.

 

“Pleasure,” he replied warmly. Suddenly, he felt a tug on his jacket as Maddie slipped her small hand into his.

 

“Come see my toys! I have a purple car,” she said, dragging him toward the living room. He looked back at Ellie and she gave him an encouraging nod.

 

“Go ahead, I’ll be there in a minute.” Harry smiled widely and followed the toddler eagerly. Lex laughed and turned back to Ellie with a smirk.

 

“Girl, how the fuck did you find that fine piece of ass?”

 

“God, Lex, really?” Ellie groaned putting her head in her hands.

 

“Yes really, he's fucking hot, girl! Get it--” Her face broke into a huge smile. “Oh my god, wait--you have gotten it. How is the sex? He looks rough… Is he rough? Or is he all sensual? I bet he leaves you sore--” Ellie shoved her.

 

“First of all... yes. To all that--” She started, but Lex gasped and covered her mouth.

 

“And he's good with kids? Hubby his ass up-”

 

“You’re insane, okay? After this weekend, I’ll be lucky if he doesn't file for a restraining order.” She sighed, watching as Maddie guided Harry around the living room, showing him each of her toys. He wore the brightest smile and it warmed her to the core.

 

“Don't worry. You know we got your back.”

  
  


“Well, well, well, look who finally decided to face the seventh layer of hell.” Shawn's voice boomed as he walked into the large foyer. Ellie quickly lit up and embraced him tightly. He let go and leaned over to kiss his girlfriend's cheek. “Where’s the man?”

 

“I’m afraid your daughter has stolen him from me to go through her entire Toys R Us store in the living room,” Ellie said, crossing her arms over her chest. She watched Harry brushing a barbie doll’s hair and and Maddie giggled at him. Shawn turned and then gave his sister a shit eating grin. “The fuck is that face?”

 

“Dude you’re so in love. Gross.” Ellie whacked his arm and he hissed. “Ow, shit,”

 

“Don't be a dick,” Ellie said, narrowing her eyes. Shawn sneered at her.

 

“You kidding? If I had a man with that ass and those dimples, I’d be full on whipped,” Lex said, sighing.

 

“Baby, I’m right here...” Shawn said with a frown. “And I’d have a butt, if you let me eat fucking Taco Bell every once in a while.”

 

“Why, so you can have a beer gut at age 23? Fuck that,” she said, rolling her eyes.

 

“Where’s Aly?” Ellie asked, sighing.

 

“Probably shopping. You know, senior year bullshit,” Shawn said sourly.

 

“Figures. Are 'they' around?”

 

“If you mean your mom and my dad, yeah. Dad’s in a conference call and Hannah is attempting to cook in the kitchen.” Ellie's eyes widened.

 

“Cook? Does she want to burn the fucking place down?” She asked in shock.

 

“Yeah that seems to be her goal.” Just then, all of them turned to hear high heels clanking against the wood floor. Ellie's mother appeared in the doorway, her hair up in a tight bun and an apron around her waist. Her face lit up when she spotted her daughter.

 

“My Ellanore,” she said walking over and giving Ellie a bone-crushing hug. Ellie held her breath, trying to figure out who this woman was and what she had done to her real mom. After a moment, she let go and eyed her daughter from head to toe. “You look beautiful. I love your hair,” she said, brushing her fingers over her head.

 

“You hate my hair long...” Ellie said matter-of-factly. Her mom faltered for a moment, before smiling once more.

 

“But this suits you… You look so beautiful and grown up.” Once again, she was engulfed in her mother's arms and Chanel Number 5. Ellie awkwardly patted her back. “Where’s Harold? I’d love to meet him--”

 

“It’s Harry. And he’s with Maddie. We’re going to unpack,” she said shortly. She watched her mom frown, but quickly recover.

 

“Right, well, dinner is in 30 minutes. We’re having chicken and rice. Your favorite. Just how I used to make it!”

 

“You mean how Ilsa used to make it... I’ve never seen you even boil water.” Ellie rolled her eyes and grabbed her bag.

 

“Ellanore, for two days, I’m asking you to refrain from fighting me.” Her tone was serious. Ellie clenched her teeth.

 

“That's going to be extremely hard.” She muttered.

 

“Well, you’re a strong-minded girl. Fight it,” she said “Your room’s all ready.” With that, she departed back to the kitchen and Shawn gave her a look. Harry reappeared, being dragged back to the group as Maddie babbled on about her barbie’s favorite restaurant.

 

“See you've charmed my daughter.” Shawn reached out and shook Harry’s hand.

 

“Yeah, she's got quite the imagination,” Harry said smiling sincerely to the 4-year-old.

 

“Welp, it's time for her help grandma in the kitchen. Nice to meet you, Harry. See you for dinner.” With that, Lex and Maddie raced towards the other end of the house.

 

“So you ever see those nature documentaries?” Shawn asked, crossing his arms with a smirk.

 

“Ehm, a bit, why?” Harry asked, grabbing his and Ellie’s suitcases.

 

“Welcome to the lion’s den, my friend.” Harry paled as Shawn patted his shoulder and Ellie smacked him.

 

“God, stop scaring him for fuck’s sake. Why do you think I avoid this place? Come on, room’s upstairs.” Shawn burst out laughing and walked away, towards his girlfriend.

  
  
  


When they reached the top of the spiral staircase, Harry glanced around, admiring the high ceilings and open loft. Ellie walked him towards a white door at the end of the hall. She pushed it open, revealing a large and spacious room with a dark gray and white wood floor. A king-sized bed rested against one wall and large sliding doors were across from it, white sheer curtains flowing around it.

 

“Huh, guess they painted,” Ellie mumbled, tossing her stuff on the black comforter. She smiled and looked around as if trying to notice if any of her things had also been replaced. The walls were a dark dim gray, and furniture was painted charcoal black. It didn't scream his girlfriend, but he could see bits and pieces of her in here. He looked out and noticed the small balcony with stairs leading to a beautiful private beach.

 

“This is amazing. You must have loved it here,” he said without thinking. Ellie froze, knowing he didn't mean it in that sense. Truth was, as much as she despised her parents, her room was her safe space at the time. Completely her own escape. She noticed they kept the soft couch out here, so at least she and Harry could watch the night sky tonight and listen to the waves. He walked back in and intertwined his long fingers into hers, pressing her knuckles to his lips. “Proud of you, love.” She gave him a small unconvincing smile.

 

“It's a one and done thing,” she said, shrugging. He nodded and helped her unpack their belongings.

  
  


–

 

Ellie stared in her bathroom mirror. It was pretty much half the size of her bedroom with a huge jet tub standing behind her against the wall. Next to it was a tall glass shower with a ceiling shower head. All in black and white granite, outlined in pure silver. She saw Harry poke his head in a smile sheepishly.

 

“I believe we’re wanted downstairs,” he said. With one more look and a sigh, Ellie walked out with him and descended the stairs into her own personal hell. She could smell the the delicious chicken and rice recipe flooding through the huge open dining area. No matter how badly her mother wanted to pretend, Ellie was pretty sure their cook/maid Rita had really done most of the cooking. Rita had been with them since Alyssa was born. Suddenly three kids was too much to handle. Between Rita and Ellie’s three au pairs, she and Shawn were never alone. Harry was close behind her, his hand resting on her back. “Remember. Me and you. I’m here.” She looked over her shoulder and nodded. Harry intertwined their hands.

  
  


One more deep breath and she walked in. Everyone was seated, her brother his girlfriend and her niece on the left side of the table, along with her mother sitting next to her husband, who remained at the head. Nat sat across from her mom, and there were two open seats for Harry and Ellie. Ellie immediately sat Harry as far from her mother and stepfather as possible, not wanting him to have to deal with that.

 

Her stepfather was a rather large man, tall lean and tan. He always wore suites, always had a rather closely shaved beard and was clean cut as they come. Hence why Ellie begged Harry to wear his fucking sweatpants, but he refused. Something about wanting them to at least accept him before they tried to cast him away from her. Because that was never going to happen. He was going to make sure of it.

 

“So kind of you two to join us.” Robert. She never liked to use the term stepfather. But to her mother, calling him Robert was disrespectful. She blamed him for a lot. Although she learned to blame herself for most of her life's problems, Robert made sure to teach her that at a young age, being an outcast in your family fucking hurts. Before Robert, her mother encouraged her to be different. And then it changed. Then it came down to 'Wear this', 'eat these', 'people are going to stare at us.'

 

“Pleasure to meet you, sir. I’m Harry.” Ellie watched her boyfriend reach out and shake Robert’s hand. Her mother let out a weird ass squeal and enveloped him in a hug. After Harry sat down next to her, he slid his hand into hers under the table.

 

“It’s so wonderful you’ve come, Harry, such a pleasure to finally meet you,” her mother said with the fakest smile Ellie’s ever seen. That's when Alyssa made her appearance, sinking down next to Shawn. Her breasts popped out of her very skimpy black crop top and her jeans were hiked up. Her eyes bulged at the site of Harry, grazing over him like he was about to be her next prey. Ellie narrowed her eyes.

 

“Holy shit. You really are dating him! How'd you manage that?” Alyssa said, raising an eyebrow. “Sorry, no offense-”

 

“Fucking seriously, Aly?” Ellie sighed. Harry squeezed her hand tighter, ignoring Aly’s comment.

 

“What? I’m just literally in shock,” she said, laughing.

 

“Language, Ellanore-” Her mother told her from down the table.

 

“Shock about what?” Shawn asked.

 

“About how Ellie is dating Harry Styles...” Everyone stayed quiet and Ellie felt her pulse race.  _ And so it begins. _

 

“Let’s eat, everyone, shall we?” Her mother stated and everyone took to the food out on the table. Aly looked between everyone then back at her sister and Harry.

 

“Seriously? No one’s curious?” Aly began again, but was silenced by Shawn, who kicked her leg. “Oh, what the fuck?”

 

“Will you shut the fuck up?” He growled under his breath. “For once, act like an adult,” he muttered, beginning to eat his food. Alyssa rolled her eyes and began to eat as well. For the next ten minutes, the only sound in the room were forks on plates. Except for Ellie. She was slowly eating her small piece of chicken and one scoop of rice. She could feel Robert and her mother’s eyes on her. Harry gave her a confused look.

 

“Love, you’re going to be hungry later--” He began, but she shook her head.

 

“No, I’m fine,” she said, giving him a small smile. Harry looked up and noticed her parents and Alyssa eyeing her viciously. He frowned.

 

“Ell, s'alright. Eat,” he whispered into her ear. She bit her lip and eyed the mashed potatoes sitting in front of her. “What's wrong?”

 

“She's afraid,” Alyssa said, biting into her food. Harry looked between the two girls. Ellie heard her mother sigh and Shawn groan.

 

“For fuck’s sake,” Shawn grumbled. “Knock it off-”

 

“Afraid of wha-”

 

“Because mom and dad used to monitor how much she ate so she wouldn't get fat,” she replied casually. Harry's teeth clenched and looked to Ellie, who was now glaring daggers at her sister.

 

“Don't you have some important senior thing to attend?” Ellie said, gritting her teeth.

 

“No. And besides, you lost weight. It worked, didn't it? Now you're sorta thin.” If she bit her tongue any more in that moment, it would be bleeding. With that, Harry turned to Ellie and smiled, while taking a scoop of mashed potatoes and putting them on her plate. She looked up at him with a smile and nudged his arm.

 

“M'sure my cooking’s better than your mums anyway,” he said into her ear. Alyssa stared at them before dropping her fork.

 

“Okay. Seriously. How'd you do it? Like I know mom and dad send you money, but it definitely can’t be enough to buy him--” Alyssa crossed her arms.

 

“Are you fucking kidding me right now?” Lex said.

 

“What, you seriously think this is real?”

 

“Are you not going to shut your daughter up, or?” Shawn said, staring at his parents. Robert folded his hands and looked over at Ellie.

 

“I’m kind of curious how you two met...” Ellie stared in disbelief at him. When she looked at her mother, her head was bowed and she was fidgeting with her food.

 

“Nat, go upstairs,” Ellie said, softly. Nat looked at her confused.

 

“Uhm no, I want to see the fight--”

 

“Natalie, UPSTAIRS NOW,” Shawn yelled. Nat rolled her eyes and pushed her chair back. She headed for the stairs, but not before hugging Ellie from behind and glaring at Alyssa.

 

“Tell us, Ellanore. I’m dying to know how this god of a rockstar with models throwing themselves at him came across you.” Alyssa smirked as Ellie shifted in her seat. It was taking a lot for her to not jump across the table and rip her fake blonde hair out.

 

“None of your goddamn business, princess,” she growled.

 

“It’s  _ my _ goddamn business. So tell me,” Robert insisted.

 

“We met a coffee shop,” she said angrily.

 

“A coffee shop? That sounds nice,” her mother said softly, looking over at her.

 

“Hm, so he just asked you out?” Alyssa said.

 

“Actually, we were friends first--”

 

“Ahhh, so you probably manipulated him--”

 

“Listen, bitch--I wanna actually hear this. Shut your botox ass up,” Lex said, rising a bit from her seat. Shawn held her back, but it looked more like he wanted to release her from the cage.

 

“Why do you care, Aly? Jealous I found someone who loves me for my personality and not my surgically-fixed face?” Ellie said sweetly as Lex, Shawn, and Harry bit back a snicker.

 

“Yeah, god forbid you care about your appearance, right? Now he can walk his dog down a red carpet--”

 

“What did you just say?” Ellie watched as Harry made to get up, but she grabbed him.

 

“ARE YOU GOING TO SAY ANYTHING?!” Shawn said, jumping up and yelling at his mom and dad. Robert leaned back and once again, her mom looked away. “You'll yell at Ellanore, but not Alyssa, who’s ripping her apart?”

 

“Ellanore, be realistic.” Everyone turned to Robert. He shrugged. “No offense, Harry, I’m sure your a great guy with good intentions, but let's be real here.”

 

“What the fuck is that supposed to mean?” Ellie said, now on her feet.

 

“It means Harry is going to wake up one morning and leave you. Because he's gonna realize there is something better out there.” Alyssa smiled wickedly to Ellie, making her falter on her feet. Her anxiety was skyrocketing and even though Harry had a hold of her hand, she was ready to fight.

 

“I’m sorry, but that's not going to happen,” Harry spoke confidently. Everyone turned to him. “Sir, I intend to marry her one day. I'm not going to leave her, or want anyone else. Your daughter has changed me. She brought me back when I was in a dark place. And I know for a fact I won't be loving anyone else. She's the light in my world.” Shawn and Lex both smiled in triumph. Ellie turned to Harry and looked at him with adoration. He was there. He was fighting for her.

 

“All due respect, Ellanore really doesn't have much a career ahead of her. And although she refuses money from us, she's going to come back one day and realize she made a huge mistake in her life.” Robert spoke with the same smile as his twisted daughter Alyssa.

 

“And what the fuck would that be?” Ellie asked, sneering at the man.

 

“That art is not a career. It's a waste of time and for the past four years, you have been foolding around, taking no responsibility for yourself. You had Ivy league schools looking at you, Ellanore. You had a potential to be anything worthy in this world. And you chose a paint brush and a stupid dream to take you nowhere in your life. You think this world is going to remember you? Based on doodles and a couple of photos?” She wasn't sure when she started crying, but tears flowed down her face. It was the battle that had been building momentum for years.

 

It was estranging her from her family. It was eating her away in the back of her mind. It was the cause of ever doubt in her mind. She wasn't good enough. She wasn't memorable enough. She was different. She wasn't Alyssa. She wasn't blonde or thin or an instagram model. She was just Ellie. And all her friends and Shawn and Lex, and even Harry can try and convince her otherwise. They can literally praise her but here she was, subconsciously seeking approval from a man she despised most in the world. And for what fucking reason?

 

“People are going to remember me, Robert. But not because of my art. Because I’m a good fucking person. Because I will die before I put myself before anyone else. I strive to do the right thing. I go above and beyond for others because I want to not because I feel like I need to. And despite how you and my mother have treated me my entire life, I grew up into a really decent human being. I grew up putting others before me. And helping people who needed it most. And sure, Alyssa is going to UCLA. And she's gonna possibly graduate. And she's going to do everything you both groomed her to do. But I’m so fucking glad I am not her. I am so fucking RELIEVED I chose a different path. You both disgust me.” Harry's hand intertwined with hers once more and she knew he was smiling widely behind her. Shawn sat smugly staring at his father, who was now so in shock from the outburst his mouth hung open. “You may have tried to manipulate me into eating less. Dying my hair with highlights. Keep proper etiquette for your little appearances. But you can go fuck off when it comes to you thinking you know my future. I’d rather be homeless on the street than live under this hell.”

 

“Ellanore...” Her mother spoke first, pale and completely in awe.

 

“I don't know what happened to you when you got married. But you were born and raised in Brooklyn in a one bedroom flat above a bodega. You rebelled against your damn parents and married Dad and had me at 18. I remember how you used to smile. And it wasn’t because you had nice things. It was because you had him--”

  
  


“ENOUGH! You’ve ruined this dinner.” Her mother stood up and angrily shed tears.

 

“How dare you? How dare you continue to fucking pretend?”

 

“Do you remember the nights after your father left, Ellanore? Do you remember when I had to take you to work with me nights because I could barely afford food, much less a babysitter? Of course you don't! Because all you can see is the bad. Robert isn’t some excuse I married for money. I fell in love with him--”

 

“So you can love a man who treats your own daughter like dirt-”

 

“He wants what's best for you! I want what's best for you--we want you to be successful and welcomed in this world--”

 

“I LIKE WHO I AM. I always liked who I was. I felt at home when I wasn’t your goddamn puppet!”

 

“You stupid stupid girl. I did everything I could to save you from how we lived. And you throw it away on art school? And now you finally meet a nice young man--but I can’t help but think he’s not the one for you! You will just end up with a broken heart and useless degree and become a goddamn beggar on the street because you are too stubborn to come home!”

 

“I can still get you into another college, Ellanore. Your window is still open,” Robert spoke, eyes boring into hers.

 

“Who the fuck do you want me to be with? Harry is everything to me--”

 

“ You just had to go and ruin things with Brandon, didn't you?” That name fell so easily out her mother's mouth that Ellie stumbled a bit.

 

“Who’s Brandon?” Harry asked, looking at her.

 

“She dated him in high school for like a year. Hot jock. Parents had money,” Alyssa said shaking her head. “She had everything and then he broke up with her. Figures. She probably chased him away.”

 

“You... you think I chased him away?” Ellie said in shock. Her mother wiped at her now black-rimmed eyes.

 

“Of course you did. You always chase them away. He practically ran for the hills when you told him you were going to Parsons.” The bile rose in her throat. Her chest was red from the panic attack hitting her. Brandon. That disgusting pig.

 

“You’re wrong. That disgusting piece of shit took my virginity and then cheated on me 3 weeks later. you wanna know why he ran? Because I thought I was pregnant! Thank god i wasnt... I hated him. I still hate.” Everyone froze. She felt her boyfriend tense behind her. No one knew. No one except for Kaia. That dark memory replayed in her head sometimes. It was like a cold reminder. She had sex one time, with a man who pretty much pressured her. And then two weeks after she thought she was pregnant. She had texted him and called him meanwhile, he was in some other girls bed, tangled around her. Brandon was a plague to her. The minute he found out she thought she was pregnant he ended it. Blocked her number, deleted her off social media. Isolated her while she had to wait 3 days for a test from the doctor. As soon as she found out she wasnt, she had never felt so thankful in her life. Kaia had helped her through it, telling her shed be there no matter what. But still it haunted her dream sometimes.

 

“Holy shit...Ellie-” Shawn gasped. “You... you never-”

 

“You... you what?” Her mother began, with a shaking voice. There was dead silence.

 

“Ellie...” Lex whispered, tears in her eyes as she covered her mouth. Ellie took a deep breath and turned to Harry. He was emotionless. Lips pursed, forehead creased like he was concentrating.

 

“You are both shitty parents for not even realizing what I was going through. You broke me. You fucking destroyed me. I was so distraught and begging for attention... screaming for you to fucking help me. I wasn't sleeping. I wasn't eating. You are so goddamn lucky I had Shawn and Kaia and my friends. So goddamn lucky Kaia’s parents were there when you weren’t. There were so many times I was fucking trapped in my own head, repeating your words of how I wasn’t worth it and how I was useless. But I’m so happy I realize you are the fucking problem. You’re not parents. You’re monsters.” With that, she backed away from the table, her tears blurring her vision. Her heart rate escalated. She was shaking. Harry stared at her as she ran for the front door, grabbing the first set of keys she could find.

 

“ELLANORE!” He called, running after her. She shook her head and covered her mouth, letting out a sob. “Don't go! PLEASE! Let’s both leave-”

 

“HARRY, GO INSIDE. I can't... I can't be near you right now, I’m sorry,” she said, turning around and almost slipping on the gravel. He stopped.

 

“Let’s talk, okay? Let’s go upstairs and just talk--” She shook her head.

 

“I – I have to go. I have to leave because… because if I don't, then-”

 

“Then what? I deserve an explanation, Ellie. Please don't go--” She was already in the land rover. Harry ran to the window and banged against it with his fist. “Don't do this, Ellie. Don’t leave. You’re letting them win-”

 

“Harry, move please,” she begged through her sobs. Her hands were in her hair and she was shaking, rocking back and forth and trying her best to sort out her fuming thoughts.

 

“Ellanore, you are not driving while you’re having a panic attack! For fuck’s sake, give me the keys!” Harry bellowed out. Suddenly, Shawn skidded next to him.

 

“Ellie, get out of the truck now. Harry, get the keys from her!” He yelled, Lex followed behind him. Lex slammed on the window and Ellie jumped.

 

“Open the door, I’m getting in,” she said sternly. Ellie shook her head.

 

“No. Lex, go inside okay? Just take them both and go inside,” Ellie said loudly. Tears fell in waterfalls, streaking up her cheeks with black makeup.

 

“They're not coming, okay? Just open the passenger side and slide over, I’m driving-”

 

“Are you fucking insane, Lex?!” Shawn yelled.

 

“You yelling at her is not helping her panic attack. Take Harry to her room and go the fuck inside!” Both men stopped and looked between Ellie and Lex. After a moment, Shawn grabbed Harry’s arm.

 

“Are you mad?! She'll  _ die _ if she drives--” Harry pleaded. Shawn shook his head.

 

“Let Lex take her. She knows how to calm her down, okay?”

 

“I know how to calm her down!”

 

“Not while you’re worked up! Trust me just come with me. Let them go.” After a moment of silence, Harry nodded solemnly. He quickly walked over to the window and Ellie rolled it down a bit.

 

“Come back to me,” he whispered, his eyes closing as he rested his forehead against the glass. She sucked in a sob and nodded. “Love you,” he said, backing away and walking back to the house with Shawn. The doors unlocked and Lex scooted into the driver’s side as Ellie slid into the passenger seat. Harry watched over his shoulder as the love of his life, his person, his world faded into the black darkness of the private street.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  



	31. Chapter 31

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> LOVESSS, i was actually gonna post this for a christmas present but this shit was so sad i couldnt hurt yall like dat. SO instead i post it today. But AS A PRESENT, i will post friday as well <3 please enjoy

Ellie sniffled as she walked back up the gravel driveway. 12 am. She had been gone for three hours. Phone off, just sitting with Lex and talking. She needed to sort her life out. She needed to bring herself back. Right now, she realized she was standing at the edge of a steep cliff. And it would take something small to push her over. Some graduation she thought bitterly. Lex had gone through the front door, but right now, Ellie just wanted to go in her bed and avoid everyone. Poor Nat. She probably heard everything. With a sigh, she ascended the wooden stairs that led to her balcony patio. Her room was pitch black. She assumed Harry had probably fallen asleep, so she quietly slid the slider door open and slipped inside. There he was, wrapped up in the sheets of her blanket, his familiar swallows peeking up from the sheets. She was so lucky. And she ruined it. Just like everything else in her life. She’d be surprised if he ever wanted to even see her after this weekend. Not telling him about her first time was a mistake. But how do you let your boyfriend know that you had a pregnancy scare literally the first time you had sex? And with a guy who rejected you so hard and pretty much called you a lame fuck?

 

“Love, come to bed,” she heard him whisper. She jumped and smiled at his dark figure.

 

“Just gonna take my makeup off,” she said, heading to her bathroom. After washing her face and undressing, she noticed a shirt next to her stuff on the sink. He left a shirt for her. She didn't deserve this. She deserved to get yelled at and screamed at. When she emerged, a familiar ache in her chest occurred. Slowly, she sank down next to him, only to have his big arms immediately wrap around her. He buried his face into her neck and held her as tight as he could.

 

“Don't do that again,” he mumbled shakily. Ellie inhaled deeply, still mentally drained.

 

“Harry, we have to talk...” she said, her voice breaking.

 

“Not right now. I just need to hold you,” he whispered, not opening his eyes. Ellie nodded and snaked her arms around his torso, taking in his body warmth. He smelled like his musky earthy shower wash, the one she loved so much she had bought him four bottles for his birthday. His hands ran up and down her back in a soothing motion and she bit back a sob, threatening to escape her lips. Right now, she just needed him. Her safe space. Her person.

 

 

  
  


It’d been awhile since she wrapped herself in a blanket and sat to watch the sunrise. After bundling up and slipping out of her slider door, Ellie sank in one of the comfy outdoor lazy boy chairs on her balcony. The waves were crashing off in the distance, giving her a beautiful soundtrack to her heavy thoughts. Her eyes drifted to the shirtless curly haired man sprawled out on her king-size bed. Last night was a disaster. A complete mess. And an eye opener for her. Harry was perfect. He was everything a man should be. Kind, loving, passionate. He kept her laughing and kept her safe. The most incredible boyfriend. So how does one break away from that? How was she going to tell him she can’t do it anymore? Not because of him, but because of her? She was too broken for him. Too fucked up in the head. She may be on medication, but she was still struggling. And of course he’d been so fucking amazing about it all. Being with her when she needed him most, holding her through panic attacks and bringing her back to reality when she drifted away. He was fucking incredible. A dream too good to be true. But in her head, after the hours of last night she was with Lex, she realized. Robert had been right. Harry was going to leave sooner or later. Especially after the shit-show her family put on last night.

 

But how do you tell the person you love the most that you can't be with them anymore? They’d talked about marriage and a future together. They’d dreamt of what their house would look like and what they’d name their future kids. And here she was, contemplating on a good way to break up with the one thing that kept her sane. But it was because he shouldn’t have to deal with this. He didn't deserve this baggage. Or her lies. He didn't deserve to have all this unnecessary stress that she deals with. He's in the height of his career. He’s sky rocketing to the top and she’s so fucking proud of him. But what happens when people find out about her family? They'll print things, they'll plaster them all over magazines. And Harry would be the target. His life would take the toll, not hers.

 

“Bit cold out here.” Ellie jumped at the sound of Harry’s husky voice coming from the door. She heard him close it and felt him sink down next to her. He scooped under the blanket sliding his feet next to hers, and leaning his head on her chest. His arm snaked around her waist and he nuzzled against her, his eyes staring at the warm horizon. “Ell,” he whispered.

 

“Mmm?” She couldn't really find her voice to reply. Right now, her anxiety won. She felt broken.

 

“Why did you lie?” His fingertips were tracing up and down her side, under her sweatshirt. Soft, sweet gestures. Harry always made a way to make sure she knew he was there near her. Whether it was rubbing her back at night or running his hands along her thighs when they were watching TV. Even playing with her fingers on car rides.

 

“Because I chose to pretend it never happened.” Her voice betrayed her, cracking at the end of the sentence.

 

“Did he... did he hurt you?” He asked, almost scared to even say those words. She shook her head, her eyes never leaving the ocean.

 

“Emotionally? Yes...” She trailed off. Horrible memories floating back. “He was very controlling. Very judgemental. He was everything my parents wanted me to be with... Money, handsome, secure. Someone they can brag to people about. And they did. But... at some point I… I thought I convinced myself I loved him. But I didn't.” She paused, wiping a stray tear from her cheek. “He manipulated me. Made me think that if...we had sex... he wouldn't leave. And him leaving... for some reason it-it scared me.” Harry was quiet, but he was still caressing her skin. Still acknowledging he wasn't going anywhere.

 

“Why?” He asked. Why... What a loaded question for such a small word. Why? Why was she scared? Why did she care what her family thought? Why did she strive to make them accept her?

 

“B-because... I didn't want to disappoint my mom. I thought if he stayed, they wouldn't be so hard on me about art school...” With a sigh, she continued, “So we had sex... or what I think was sex. It lasted for maybe 15 minutes. And I didn't feel anything.... to everyone else it was some incredible magical thing, ya know?” She felt a sob bubble in her chest and she tried to swallow it down. Harry must've noticed because he looked up and furrowed his brow. The pad of his thumb ran across her cheek to wipe away another tear.

 

“What happened?” His words were kind. Too kind. He was comforting her. She lied and he was fucking comforting her.

 

“H-He just fucked me. That's it. Like a quick fuck in a bathroom. No candles. No nice music or kissing... I just felt so dirty and used. Then... Three days later, I tried calling him. One of his friends picked up said he was at a frat party....Kaia drove me over and I found him in bed with a blonde...” Another sob escaped and she felt Harry press a kiss to her neck. "And i stayed with him. I literally stayed with him after he cheated on me... then a month later i just... i thought i was pregnant. I was a w-week late. When i tried to tell him, he told me if i was to get rid of it. M' so happy i wasnt. After that... i just never heard from him again."

 

“S'alright, my love.” She shook her head.

 

“It’s not alright, Harry,” she whispered, finally making eye contact with those beautiful green irises. The ones she got to wake up to every morning, and imagine staring into everyday. They were filled with love and compassion. Things she didn't deserve.

 

“Doesn't change anything. Still love you. Always love you.” She sighed.

 

“Harry... I lied to you. Please... please stop being nice to me.” She hiccuped and he shook his head. She felt him grip her chin and force her to look at him once more.

 

“Do no punish yourself. Do you understand? He's a prick. What he did to you... it wasn't okay, Ellanore. You didn't deserve that. Losing something so intimate in such a defiling way... It’s not your fault--”

 

“But it was my fault. I said okay, Harry. I consented--”

 

“You thought you were in love... what me and you do... we make love. Because we're in love. You understand that. You never have to lie to me... and I'm not mad at you,” he explained, pushing her hair from her face. She frowned. But he should be mad. He should be fuming. Not because of the lie. But because she wasn't truthful. “Remember what I said the first time we made love?” She blushed. How could she forget? “ You deserve to worshiped. You deserve to treated like a goddess, yeh.”

 

“But I lied to you...” He sighed.

 

“It’s alright. I understand why you did. It was something you wanted to forget. But it doesn't change my opinion at all. Virgin or not, I'm not with you for sex.” He chuckled. “I mean, it's an added bonus I get to see you naked and kiss every inch of your beautiful skin, but that isn't and will never be the reason I am with you.” He was sincere in every word he spoke. And Ellie believed it. But the seed of doubt still harbored in her. The one where she carried too much baggage and he shouldn't have to deal with it. She didn't deserve him. 

 

  
  


He forgave her. He said it wasn't even a big deal. He said he loved her no matter what. So why is she feeling this dark cloud over her? Why does she feel like there's still a broken sadness? Harry walked around the room packing their stuff up. Her parents apparently left for the country club, some stupid lunch in. According to Shawn, Aly had spent the night at a friend’s. But she couldn't be there anymore. This had been a bad idea from the start. Running away was the most sane thing she had done, and coming back here was just a door to open up her personal hell.

 

“Ell?” She snapped out of her thoughts and looked at her boyfriend. “Ready?”

 

“Mmm,” she said, nodding and turning back to staring at the wall. He frowned and finished up there suitcases. She stood up and pulled her jacket on walking past him and heading downstairs.

 

“No, Auntie Ell! Don't leave!” Her niece came bounding around the corner and Ellie’s heart shattered, knowing she wouldn't get to see her for a while. She scooped her up and hugged her tight.

 

“I’ll see you soon, I promise,” she said, trying her best to lie. When she pulled away, she brushed the small girl’s hair from her eyes and smiled sadly. “Be good for mom and dad, okay?” Maddie nodded, tears springing down her cheeks.

  
  


“I’m going to pack the car,” Harry said, walking out the door with the bags. Ellie stood in the foyer of her large house. Everything about this place held such nightmares. The small memories she enjoyed were ones of her and shawn. She had to fight back the rising sadness in her chest, because she refused to miss this place.

 

“Listen.” Shawn walked up to her crossing his arms, he looked so worn out. He shouldn't have to. This was never his fight. Yet, he was always her army. “When you... when you sped out of here last night...” He inhaled deeply. “I hate to be... that guy but, you have been taking your medicine right?” Ellie frowned and crossed her arms.

 

“Yes, but … I think last night was just a breaking point. It needed to happen. That fight has been rising for years now,” she said quietly. “Did I scare you?”

 

“Me? A bit... your boyfriend over there? Pretty sure he was about to have his own mental breakdown,” Shawn said with a little laugh, trying to lighten the mood. It didn't. In fact, it just buried Ellie’s hole deeper. Because of her and her issues and her stupid anxiety, Harry was put through unnecessary hell. She’d bet that Nadine probably never made him that nervous, or Kendall or Camille or whoever the hell else he was dating. “Stop it, Ellanore.” She looked up at her brother’s stern face.

 

“What-”

 

“I can see what you’re doing. Stop over-analyzing. He’s fine, alright? He was just worried.”

 

“I shouldn't have to make him worry. I don't understand why he's even still around to be honest... I’ve put him through so much unnecessary crap this year.” She sighed, rubbing at her eyes. Shawn walked over and gripped her forearms.

 

“He’s around cause he loves you, dipshit,” Shawn said, cracking a smile. Y _ eah, but that's the problem _ , she thought. Loving her was toxic.

 

“I wouldn't even love me,” she sighed and looked away.

 

“Maybe you should work on that...” She nodded and hugged her brother one last time.

 

“Where’s Nat?”

 

“They took her with them,” he said bitterly. “Tried to have her stay, but they don't really want you near her right now.” She didn’t blame them. “Listen, go home, sleep it off. You’re graduating in a couple of weeks. You should be happy and excited, not mentally drained, okay?” He said proudly.

 

“Car’s packed--Shawn,” Harry said, smiling and shaking her brothers hand.

 

“Thanks man,” he said taking. “Take care of her, okay? She needs someone like you.” Suddenly Ellie was enveloped into a bone crushing hug. Lex pulled away and gave her one last smile.

 

“Remember what I said last night,” she whispered. Ellie only nodded before walking out. Shawn’s eyes followed her.

 

“You’re doing a good job,” Lex said as Harry made to walk out. He paused and turned. “Just... if you love her, you might have to fight for her sometimes. Stubborn as fuck but, after what she said to me last night, you’re definitely her person.” Harry smiled to himself.

 

“S'good to know... she’s mine.” With that, he walked out to the car and hopped in. Ellie didn't move, her eyes staring out the side window.

  
  
  


–

  
  


The entire two hour ride, Ellie was lost in her mind. Her dark, threatening, and intimidating mind. Filled with doubts and negative thoughts. Harry would every so often reach out and graze his fingers over hers. He’d intertwine there hands and kiss her knuckles softly. She’d glance over and give him a small smile. Because in the back of her mind, she knew this would probably be her last couple of days with him.

 

When they pulled into the garage, Ellie got out and grabbed her bag wordlessly, Harry following behind. She knew he was examining her, trying to figure her out. But he couldn't. And she knew he was getting frustrated by the minute. After tossing her suitcase in the corner of the room, she walked into the bedroom undressing. Harry followed her, cautiously. It was like she was deer and he was scared of spooking her. Fuck, she hated that. Her friends used to do that, treat her like a fragile doll that could shatter after having one of her episodes.

 

“Stop looking at me like that,” she said, without turning around from the dresser. She felt him freeze.

 

“Looking at you like what?” He asked innocently.

 

“Like I'm some fucking bomb that’s gonna go off at any second.” He sighed.

 

“I’m not.”

 

“You are. And it's pissing me off,” she grumbled, turning around. “I’m fine, okay? I’m fine.”

 

“I know you are... I-I just...” He trailed off, not really knowing how to properly finish that sentence.  She turned to see him sink onto there bed, his head in his hands. She frowned. God she was such a bitch. She could hear Lex's words in her head 'Let him fix you. Let him stay.' But from what she was seeing, she couldn't do that. He looked wrecked already. Tired and worn just from this weekend. All because of her and her family. Her decision was already made. Tomorrow she would pack her stuff and go back to Kaia's. She’d stay there until she found a place. But selfishly, she wanted this one last night with him. Without another word, she walked over to him slowly. He looked up, his eyes filled with confusion.

 

“What--” But she didn't let him finish. She pressed her lips to his and trailed her fingers along his cheeks, down his jaw line. He sighed into her kiss. His hands grabbed her hips and pulled her down onto him, straddling his legs. She stopped him.

 

“Slow,” she whispered, kissing his neck. He nodded and let her work her mouth down. Her hands ran up to this chest and when their lips met once more, she deepened her tongue into their kiss. He moaned a bit as she agonizingly grinded her hips into his. She watched his head lawl back and she continued her mission.

 

“Fuck.” He breathed out, his grip on her waist tightening. Suddenly, she pulled away and he almost whimpered from the loss of contact. He watched her slowly slip out of her underwear, tossing them to the side. Biting his bottom lip, he eyed her hungrily. She wanted slow. She wanted to be the best sex they ever had. He undid his pants and slipped them off as well, now sitting completely naked. Ellie took advantage and once again straddled his thighs.

 

“I love you,” she said softly, pushing his hair from his face. He leaned down and kissed her throat, sucking at certain spots.

 

“Love you so much, petal,” he whispered, his calloused fingertips running over her erect nipples. She inhaled deeply, the feeling sending shivers through her. She had to stop herself, emotions beginning to cloud her mind. “Love your beautiful eyes. Beautiful curves... love your smile,” he continued, slowly grinding his very hard cock against her folds. She gasped and dug her fingers into his shoulder.

 

“I love your dimples. And the way you make me laugh,” she said, tugging a bit at his hair. He pulled away, eyes locking with hers. Slowly, he lifted her hips up and sunk her down on his hard cock. She gasped, adjusting to his size, gripping his shoulders for support.

  
  


“Eyes on me, love,” he said as she began to close them. Obeying his command, she locked his gaze as he slowly thrusted in and out of her.

 

“Fuck.” She breathed out, her forehead resting on his. He bit his lip slamming into her once hard and she gasped again, tugging at the curls at the back of his neck.

 

“God, you’re so beautiful. So perfect.” He praised, his lips now against her neck. “Want you to ride me, beautiful girl.” Ellie pulled away and looked at him a moment before nodding. He slid them backwards, laying down on his back, Ellie now straddling his legs. His hands gripped her breasts and she rolled her head back in pleasure. “Fuck me,” he rasped. With that, Ellie slowly lifted and sunk back down, making sure to take her time. With each thrust, she felt him go deeper, hitting her sweet spot.

 

“Holy S-shit,” she stuttered out as he slammed his hips up with her movements, meeting her halfway. She was falling apart on top of him, her hands on either side of his head, fingers curling into the blanket. Her hair fell around him as he held her hips in place, repeating their rhythm.

 

“Harder,” she said, leaning down and nibbled at his neck. Harry took control and immediately began to quicken the pace. She felt out of breath, practically seeing stars with each motion. Sweat was pooling at his forehead, his eyes screwed shut. She needed to feel his lips again, they were so tempting and so lustful. She pressed her lips to his, her tongue entering and fighting for dominance. His hand tangled into her hair, pulling her as close as he could get her.

 

“Love you,” he growled, tugging at the back of her neck. “S'much.” He flipped her onto her back and continued slamming his hips against hers. She was close, feeling the warmth pooling in the bottom of her stomach. Pulling his mouth back from her skin, surely leaving a nice bruise, he rested his forehead against hers, eyes tightly closed. “Fuck-”

 

“I love you too..” Ellie gasped out, feeling herself let go. She dug her fingers into his shoulders, Harry's movements began to speed up as he too hit his climax. He went tense under her a moment before letting out a breath and gently laying his head in the crook of her neck. Both of them lay out of breath and covered in a layer of sweat. But as Ellie stroked his back, she tried not to think about the dark thoughts creeping into her mind. She shouldn't be feeling guilty right now. Not when she had the love of her life, wrapped around her whispering how beautiful she was or how much he loved her.

 

\-- 

  
  
  


See, it was fine. A bit quiet, but in her mind, kind of okay. One week. One week and she felt herself slowly recovering from that horrible weekend. One week and she was starting to feel okay again. She went back to work, thank god Marge loved her enough to not fire her. Even managed to grab an interview for a couple of internships. Her professors insisted on recommendation letters. So even though her parents had finally broken her emotionally fucked up walls, she felt safe. Because of Harry. Because every night she came home, he was there. Either just typing away at his laptop or finishing up dinner. Every time a dark thought ran through her head, her anxiety taunting her, she dismissed it with Lex's words. 'Let him fix you.' Ellie was always the savior to everyone. But maybe it was her turn.

 

So when she was on her last leg of her Friday shift, having sent both Max and Hailey home and telling them to go get shitfaced for her, the last thing she expected was to be confronted by the one person she thought she'd seen the last of.

  
  


“Be there in a second-” Ellie called from the back room, hearing the bell from the door. She had just taken out the last batch of her chocolate muffins, when she rounded the corner and stopped dead in her tracks. “What the fuck are you doing here?” She growled, anger radiating through her like a wildfire.

 

“Just a friendly chat.” Nadine smiled wickedly from the other side of the counter. “Plus, Harry always raved about how good your coffee skills were...”

 

“How ‘bout a steaming cup of go fuck yourself, you little-” She walked out from behind the counter, ready to pounce the woman who practically ruined Harry's career.

 

“Uh, Uh, Uh, I wouldn't make any rash decisions there, hun... wouldn't want any of your drama flooding the internet, would you?” And just as the fire in her raged, it was cold that began its descent down her spine. She froze in place and paled at the primped up woman, whose long nails scanned down her phone.

 

“What the fuck did you just say--” Ellie began, trying her best to sound confident.

 

“I know, kitten. All of it. Everything.” She walked towards Ellie, smug as fuck. And even though Ellie was shaking, she wasn't sure what would happen if she did in fact break Nadine's pretty little nose. The fact she dirtied up Ellie's nickname Harry gave her alone, made her want to claw the model’s eyes out.

 

“Explain then, bitch, I close in 10 minutes.” Nadine laughed and rolled her eyes.

 

“Your sister is quite the talker. Alyssa. Very pretty too. Definitely had to question how she was related to you... Your little plan you had? Where you basically set me and Harry up, only to sneak your creepy werid ass in between us? Pathetic.” She snorted, suddenly circling Ellanore like her prey. With each word from her red lips, Ellie felt her teeth clench. “I know all about your family drama... and the last thing you want to do is let that tragedy go public.”

 

“You honestly think that I came between you and Harry?” Ellie scoffed, crossing her arms. “You lost that little fight when you decided to go fuck some Instagram model in Mexico, instead of spending Christmas with your boyfriend at the time--”

 

“You don't know shit about me and Harry. You may think you've got him all dialed in, because you two were 'besties'... but he loved me. And I love him.”

 

“What do you think your going to achieve here?”

 

“We’re going to make a fucking deal.” She stopped inches from Ellie's face, bending down and glaring daggers into Ellie's eyes.

 

“Go fuck yourself--”

 

“If I were you, I’d shut that little mouth of yours. I've got a social media following and let’s just say their rather fond of my personal life and defending me. So, ready for the terms?” She crossed her arms, assessing Ellie’s next actions. It was taking a lot of control, but Ellie clenched her fists at her side. Taking her silence as an agreement, Nadine began. “If you leave Harry on your own terms, by tonight... I won't release shit to anyone. I'll delete the receipts, all the pictures and pretend I was never here,” she said gleefully.

 

“And If I tell you to shove it up your bleached asshole?” Nadine's face dropped.

 

“I press send and he resents you for the rest of his life. Imagine the field day TMZ and the Hollywood Reporter are gonna have knowing how fucked up your family is? His new album will drown in the shadows behind stories of why he's dating a poor piss ass art major whose mentally fucked up. Do you really want that to get out?” She mocked. Right now, Ellie was holding back tears. Tears of anger and hatred. Because all she wanted to do was tear this girl apart. But she knew Harry's career would end. She’d go to every news outlet, reporting how he was dating a nutcase who beat up his ex. Make up some more bullshit and poor Harry would get the backlash.

But if she left tonight. Silently... he could be spared. But it would physically destroy her. And maybe even him...

 

“I still want to talk to him.” Nadine tilted her head.

 

“Fuck that.”

 

“I will leave and go quietly... but I will not cut contact with him.” Nadine straightened up and narrowed her eyes.

 

“Why so you can sneak your ass back into his world? Like hell,” she spat.

 

“What the fuck do you even want?” Nadine paused.

 

“Him. I want him.”

 

“Then I stay in minimal contact with him—”

 

“No—”

 

“Then he’s going to want to know why I'm suddenly leaving you conniving little cunt-” She felt Nadine's hand smack her cheek, she hissed at the stinging pain.

 

“I said watch your mouth.” Ellie was shaking with rage at this point. Hold back, she thought. Hold back.

 

“Take it or leave it.” Ellie growled. After a moment, Nadine smiled devilishly.

 

“You’re going to leave him tonight. Don't tell him we had contact. And when you go, you can be civil about it. Only because when I rebound him, I don't have time to comfort his shitty emotions.” Ellie felt her heart break, because she knew no matter what, Nadine would never feel compassion for Harry's feelings. Feelings he guarded for so long and let Ellie into. And now she was about to betray him to save him... how fucked up. “Tell him you don't want to see him for a while. Once that's done, I'll swoop in and save the day. He'll be looking for someone to hold at night, knowing you tore his heart apart.”

 

“Deal?” Nadine said, twisting a piece of Ellie's hair in her fingers. Without a word, Ellie closed her eyes and begged someone, anyone upstairs for forgiveness and strength. She nodded. “Smart choice. I'm gonna head out. Don't think about backing out either. I'll find out.. and I'll destroy him. And let you watch.” With that, she turned on her black heel and headed for the door. The bell rang overhead, indicating that she was gone. Ellie let out a breath she was holding and covered her mouth, sinking to the ground. She let out a sob and everything she was feeling rushed out in waterfalls of tears.

 

She had convinced herself the night she got back from her parents that maybe, just maybe she'd be ok. That Harry would save her and she would save him. That she’d finally found some sort of peace and she had been overreacting thinking she could fuck up his life. And here was the universe, taking it away from her. Taking away the good in her life. Because she knew she didn't deserve it and she dared fate and went for it anyway. After 20 minutes, she somehow managed to stand up and pack up the cafe. Tonight would be her last night with the man she loved. And even though she was able to talk to him after what she was about to do, there was no doubt that he'd never want to see her again.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  



	32. Chapter 32

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Shit ok, i know i promised an update on friday but im crap and forgot, SO DOUBLE UPDATE TODAY !
> 
> Comment please! xx

When she arrived home, the lights were off and silence was around her. She inhaled deeply and walked towards the kitchen. Running her hands along the granite countertop, she bit her lip and stopped herself. Just get what you need and leave. She repeated that the entire cab ride. And the entire elevator ride. And she fucking prayed that he wasn't home so she could just avoid saying goodbye altogether. Walking into their bedroom, she could see the sheets still undone from this morning when they both got up. Naked spooning was the best. Especially when he'd nuzzle up into her neck and she felt his curls tickle her cheek. Or how he’d wrap his abnormally long legs into hers and trace circles on her thighs. Fuck.

 

As she grabbed the first duffle bag she could find, she went about grabbing her clothes and shoving them in there. Tears began to fall when she accidentally came across some of his shirts mixed with hers. And instead of fighting her oncoming breakdown, she just let it happen. She knew he would probably be home any minute and she just needed to get the fuck out before she cracked and stayed. As she finished off grabbing what she could, the familiar sound of his footsteps entered the living room. She cursed under her breath and furiously wiped at her eyes.

 

“Baby? I’m Home!” He called out. He knew she was there since she had turned the kitchen light on. Gulping, she zipped the bag. Fuck it, she’ll get the rest later. Or she’ll send someone to get it. As she turned to leave, he was in the doorway, his hair wafted up, a curl hanging in his face. Looking beautiful. “There you are. Want steak for dinner?” She froze, inhaling. His eyes caught the bag in her hand and his face fell. “Ellanore. What’s in the bag-” With a surge of confidence she tried to muster up, she pushed past him and he grabbed her arm, yanking her back.

 

“Harry-” She sobbed out. He whipped her around to face him. He finally caught a glimpse at her swollen red eyes and wet cheeks.

 

“Christ--What the fuck happened? Ellie,” he began, but she just backed away from him, leaving him hurt. He frowned. “What the fuck is going on?”

 

“I... I have to go.” His jaw clenched and she avoided his hard eyes.

 

“You’re not leaving,” he protested.

 

“Please. Just... please don't make this hard--”

 

“Fuck off, you’re not going anywhere,” he said through clenched teeth. She looked up and her heart shattered. His eyes were glassy and she could see him fighting back tears. “You are not leaving me.”

 

“Harry... I… I...” she dropped the bag at her feet. She cupped a hand over her mouth as a harsh sob escaped her chapped lips. Fuck. He needs to stop looking at her like that. He needs to yell at her. Tell her to go to hell. Something. No, instead he runs up to her, his gentle hands taking hold of her cheeks. Soft thumbs, rubbing tears away from her eyes. Goddamn it. Fucking damn it.

 

“S-stop please,” she said, turning away.

 

“Baby, please, what’s wrong? I’ll fix it, yeah? Let me fix it,” he whispered desperately, trying to keep eye contact. He rested his forehead on hers and she cried harder, shaking under his touch. She closed her eyes and rested her hands on his. “My love... let me fix it. I promise-”

 

“S'Not- Not you...” she managed to choke out. He pulled away, deeply gazing into her eyes. Trying to find something, anything to hint at. “Harry it's me.”

 

“No, it’s not-”

 

“It’s me.. I’m… I’m the problem,” she stuttered. He shook his head.

 

“No, you’re wrong-”

 

“I'm not. Harry… I'm not.” She bit her lip and pulled out of his touch, trying to regain the strength she was losing. “I’m so sorry. I’m so, so sorry.”

 

“S-stop. Stop fucking saying that,” his voice was cracking. “You’re not a problem-”

 

“For fuck’s sake... I can literally ruin you. Don't you fucking see that?” She growled, practically making him jump at her tone. “I’m so toxic, Harry... I won’t fucking take you down with me.” He was silent. “I refuse to take you down with me.” She started towards the door and he quickly ran to her, trying to pull her back.

 

“N-No. You can't leave. You are not a problem! DAMN IT!” He yelled, pushing the door closed.

 

“Move, Harry...” She rubbed at her eyes.

 

“I’m not going anywhere and neither are you. Sit the fuck down. We are going to talk--”

 

“No. You are going to let me go. And you are going to find someone who is better for you. Someone who’s going to be normal, and be there for you and help you. Not someone like me. Not someone who brings down everything and ruins everyone...” She stopped and let out a sob. “You... you deserve the fucking world, Harry Styles... and I... I can't even give a little bit to you.” She watched as tears fell down his now flushed cheeks. The knife twisted in her heart with each pained look on his face, as if she were just ripping him apart.

 

“You don't mean that. I need you...You need me,” he whispered. Why was he still fighting her? Why?

 

“Harry... for yourself. You need to let me go. You need to find your person--”

 

“YOU ARE MY PERSON, FOR FUCK’S SAKE!” She shut her eyes, expecting the outburst. “Why can’t you accept that?! Why are you fighting me? You’re wrong! You have given me the world! You ARE my world!” His fist collided with the wall behind him and she flinched. “Why are you doing this? WHY?!” She looked up at him, eyes swollen, face pale.

 

“For you. Harry, I’m doing it for you,” she said quietly. “Move.” Harry let out a sob and shook his head. “Harry...” She watched him sink to his knees, his head burying into her stomach, arms hooking around her waist.

 

“Stay. Ellie... Stay with me,” he whispered. Fuck, she wanted to. This was physically killing her. Destroying her fucking heart because she was hurting him. Something she fucking swore she'd never do. Her hand carted through his soft curls, brushing them back from his sweaty forehead.

 

“Just... just give me some time, okay?” She choked out. He looked up. After a minute, he slowly stood up, his hands tracing up her sides and to the back of her neck. Avoiding his gaze was inevitable now... His hands held her cheeks like a glass doll.

 

“I’m going to let you go... because you may think I’m going to give up. But I’m not.” She sniffled and closed her eyes as his finger tips grazed her heated cheeks. “I’m going to fight for you. For as long as I can physically can.” His voice was so low, she strained to hear it. But his words were clear as day. He wasn't going to give up. And that's what almost broke her. No matter what, she was destroying him. Whether it was Nadine’s doing or this hell she's currently putting him through. With a nod, she pulled away and opened the door. When she turned around, Harry stared her down through wet lashes and puffy eyes. “I’m not giving up on you, Ellanore. I won't,” he promised. He leaned over and pressed a kiss to her forehead.

 

  
  


She must've stood in front of her old apartment door for ten minutes before knocking. Should she knock? Should she just use the key? Staring at the wooden door, her hand raised, she just took in everything that had happened over the last couple of hours. His face. God, his fucking broken face. She felt sick. Bile rose up in her stomach. She covered her mouth. For fuck’s sake, she just wanted to stop crying. The hole in her chest was now six feet deep, and she convinced herself she deserved it. Her phone lit up and she shakily looked down.

 

Unknown Number:

**Is it done?**

 

You disgusting bitch, Ellie thought bitterly. Is it done? Like a fucking business deal breaking his beautiful big loving heart. With disgust, she typed a yes.

 

Ellie:

**Yes. Go to hell.**

 

She let out a sob and slipped the phone in her pocket, wiping at her eyes. With a deep breath, she wrapped her knuckles on the door.

 

Kaia opened it and was immediately taken aback.

 

“Jesus Christ.... What happened?” She said, glancing over Ellie's appearance.

 

“Can I... can I stay here for a bit?” Without another word, she opened the door all the way to let Ellie in. Liam looked up from the couch and frowned.

 

“Shit, what’d he do?” He asked. Clair, Hero, Gwen, and Anna all turned. Ellie just took a deep breath and walked into her old abandoned room. Clearly, they hadn't gotten another roommate yet, which she was kinda thankful for.

 

“I promise I'll leave as soon as I find a place. I just need a week or so,” she muttered, walking back into the kitchen. Everyone stared after her as she repeatedly rubbed at her face trying to calm down the swelling. She noticed the dishes in the sink, and immediately rolled her sleeves up and began cleaning, still silent behind her.

 

“Okay... what did you do?” Anna asked crossing her arms and staring into her friend’s back. Ellie shrugged.

 

“It's nothing, honestly. We’re done. It’s over. No worries… Hey, do you guys have any wine left?” She muttered after drying her hands and peeking through the cabinets. Clair shut the door Ellie was looking through and Ellie turned to her with a frown.

 

“El...” All eyes were on her. Pity. She was facing pity. Something she loathed. Because she didn't deserve it. She didn't deserve their caring or compassion. In fact, she didn't deserve shit.

 

“What?” She snapped. No one moved.

 

“Ellie, what happened?”

 

“I already fucking told you,” she said, turning back around and throwing open the doors under the sink. She spotted the booze supplies and grabbed a bottle of merlot. Perfect.

 

“No, Ellie, you said you and Harry were over. That makes no sense... did... did something else happen?” Kaia asked softly.

 

“No, nothing happened. The guy deserves better. Just took me a week to realize it. Don’t worry, I’ll be out soon,” she said, not making eye contact and heading to her room. If she was going to finish her mental breakdown, she needed alcohol to do it. Everyone watched her go, but Clair grabbed her arm before she shut the door.

 

“He loves you... why would you just leave?” Clair asked, confused. Ellie yanked her arm away and stared around the room finally.

 

“Because I’m a fucking mess. I’m a goddamn trainwreck, my family is a fucking nightmare, my career is shit and I’ll just end up a struggling poor art graduate with nothing to show for it. Harry doesn't deserve to have to deal with my shitty ass mental breakdowns, my lack of wealth, or my fucked up family.” Kaia sighed. “Don't lecture me. Don't tell me I’m stupid. And don’t fucking argue my choice.”

 

“Okay, how about I tell you this... That man worships the ground you walk on. Tells you how much he loves you every chance he gets and for what? So you can just leave him?” Kaia crossed her arms.

 

“I love him. That's why I left,” Ellie said, looking to the ground. “When you love someone, you don't put them through hell for it. He's going to be remembered for how fucking incredible he is, how talented he is, and how kind he is.... I refuse to bring him down with me.”

 

“Bring him down with you? Ellie, what are you saying?” Anna questioned.

 

“I'm saying that I know where I’m going to end up... I’m better alone. I’m better at just trying to fix myself instead of burdening him to do that. He's got enough to worry about. He's going to be fine because I know for a fact, so many people out there completely adore him.” With a shuddering breath, she bit her lip. “He needs someone like him. Beautiful, smart... perfect.” She turned and ran into the room, slamming the door shut and locking it. Within moments, she was once again flooded with tears as memories of Harry’s broken stare entered her mind. She popped open the top of the wine and began her venture downing as much as she could take in between breaths.

 

  
  


3 days, 4 hours and 25 minutes. Thats how long it was since she walked out of his life. Her phone was abandoned on the nightstand. Lighting up every second with a text or call. Probably from him. She avoided her friends, only leaving the room to pee and maybe snag a snack. Eating anything more than a piece of toast was sitting wrong in her stomach. The abandoned wine bottles were stocking up next to her bed. So here she was, wrapped up in sheets, enveloped in the soft darkness. Frequently she’d hear knocks but she’d just turn and face the window. Withdrawing from him was like cutting off an addiction. One that was bound to kill her at some point because there was no way it could've ever lasted. She still loved him. And she knew that after him, there would be no one else. She knew it the moment he told her he loved her.

 

Her tears dried up about a day ago. Sobbing for hours on end can do that to a person. Kaia left out aspirin at the door with a bottle of water. As much as she wanted to be salty and angry, they knew how to handle her best. Especially when she was like this. Although she couldn't remember a time this bad. Or that cut this fucking deep. She felt like someone reached down into her chest and tore her heart out agonizingly slow. Making the hole as deep and dark as it could be. At some point she knew she was going to have to get up. Going to have to become human again. But how? How can she even think about that when she possibly just ruined the man she loved? To her there was no normal after that.

 

–

  
  


Kaia eyed the closed door. Her best friend was currently succumbing to her dark thoughts. Things that would terrify anyone. All because she had to push away people, thinking she was a burden. Fuck her parents. Fuck anyone that ever made Ellie feel like she was more of a nuisance than a welcomed presence. She felt someone's hand tighten on her shoulder.

 

“How's she doin’ today?” Liam whispered, tossing his mug into the sink. Kaia shrugged.

 

“Harry called again,” she said sighing. “Asked the same thing. And I can’t even tell him.” She rubbed at her eyes tiredly. Liam nodded and crossed his arms leaning next to his girlfriend. She rested her head on his shoulder. “I just wish there was something... anything we could fucking do.”

 

“Honestly, love? Just let her have a moment. Maybe she needs this, yeah? Just a moment alone to realize what she’s done...” He was right. Maybe she just needed to let out whatever darkness was in there. All Ellie did when she was like this was sleep. Kaia nodded sadly as Liam pressed a kiss to her temple. “Come on, doll, car’s gonna be here soon don’t want to be late,” he said softly.

–

 

A whole week. It took her an entire week to finally decide that even if she felt dead inside, she had to pretend. She had to fake a smile. Had to fake a laugh. Something that would show the world she was doing just fine. Mourning her shattered heart was now something she would do at night, in the comfort of darkness and her blankets.

 

“Ellie... Good morning,” Gwen, Anna’s girlfriend, said with a warm smile. She had moved in here about a week after Ellie left. She helped with rent, but also, Ellie noticed her friend’s complete change now that she had her love next to her every night. Anna just seemed brighter. Gwen brought that out in her.

 

Ellie smiled and sat down at the sort of crowded kitchen table. She had an interview in an hour, and she was dressed in a black simple dress, a large gold necklace and her favorite black ankle booties. Everyone seemed in shock as she grabbed a piece of toast and poured herself a cup of tea. After a moment she frowned and looked at her friends.

 

“What?” She asked, feigning a laugh.

 

“What the fuck do you mean, what?” Kaia said, crossing her arms. Liam quickly preoccupied himself with his phone.

 

“I mean what? Why are you all staring me down like that?”

 

“Are you being serious as fuck right now or...?” Clair said, narrowing her eyes.

 

“I don't-”

 

“So let me get this straight, you come here an actual mess, after breaking up with the love of your life. Lock yourself behind that goddamn door for hours and hours the past week and only come out when either none of us are home or when were all asleep--No, Liam let me get this out--” Kaia exclaimed, putting her hand in her boyfriend’s face, making his mouth close immediately and once again, looked away. “And you just emerge one fucking morning, looking like a normal person and you’re asking all of us why the fuck were staring at you like you were just resurrected from the goddamn dead?!”

 

“Uhm.. yes?” Suddenly, Ellie’s phone lit up and she glanced down. “I gotta go-”

 

“Whoa, whoa, slow the fuck down,” Kaia said, standing with her. “You think I’m letting you out of here without an explanation, you’re insane--ELLIE!” Ellie stopped at the door and turned.

 

“Kaia, I have an interview. I will explain later...”

 

“YOU WERE JUST IN THE MIDDLE OF A MENTAL BREAKDOWN,” Kaia growled.

 

“AND I’M FINE NOW SO FOR FUCK’S SAKE, DROP IT.” Kaia went silent. “I will talk to you when I get back.” With that, Ellie slammed the door and headed for the NYC streets.

 

–

 

Ellie fidgeted with her fingers. She hated interviews. She hated to pretend she was so put together when actually she enjoyed being eccentric and wild. It's why so many people took to her. Her personality was what drew everyone in, being loud and crazy. Being different. It's one thing she had always be ridiculed for... but she refused not to take pride in her authenticity. So as she watched the woman behind the desk purse her lips, as her eyes scanned over Ellie’s rather short resume she knew she wasn't likely a candidate for this position.

 

“Ms. Hurley... why do you want to work at Paper Magazine?” Ellie gulped as the woman pushed her black framed glasses onto her hair. Honesty. Just let it out.

 

“Because....” She took a deep breath. “Because all my life I have been different. I had a different outlook on things, I had a different style. I’m bold and unique... your magazine prides on that. Music is something that has been there for me when I needed it most. I can't remember a time where it hasn't played a huge part in my life.. Most of my photographs are inspired by a song or an album or an artist... I love capturing powerful images, Mrs. Hawk... And music is as powerful as it can get.” For the first time since Ellie stepped foot into the office, she watched the older womans lips curl in a small smile.

 

“That was some answer, Ms. Hurley,” she said, leaning back in her leather chair. “Sounds like it's affected you quite a bit.”

 

“You honestly have no idea.” Music brought her and Harry together. She was pretty sure she can name a song that narrated all of there important moments together. But music also saved her. Saved her when words couldn't.

 

“Your internship starts next week. Be here Monday, 7am sharp. I like my coffee black, two sugars. Understood?” Ellie's face lit up and she quickly took Mrs. Hawk’s hand.

 

“I won't let you down,” Ellie said beaming. Mrs. Hawk nodded.

 

“I don't expect you to.”

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  



	33. Chapter 33

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AS PROMISED A DOUBLE GIFT FOR YOU LOVEs.
> 
> WE ALMOST THERE. Thennnn SEQUEL TIME

 

Pathetic. That's what Harry felt. 13 days without Ellie and he was milking another bottle of $80 liquor. It became a routine for him. After she left, the room felt cold and dead. His heart broke with the slam of the door. And yet he still conjured up multiple ideas to try and get her to come home. Because in his arms is where she was supposed to be for fuck’s sake. He’d gone out a couple of times. Being dragged by Jeff and Liam even Niall at some point. They'd try and give him some sort of reason to forget, but he'd just end up blackout drunk and in the back of his Landrover as Dale drove his pathetic ass home. He’d wake up the next day, alone. Regret filling his stomach. He’d tried. Tried really fucking hard to just forget her. But every goddamn time he was close to getting his shit together, something reminded him of her.

 

So after 4 days of trying to forget, he tried a different approach. She said she'd come back... or at least he figured she would. She didn't want him out of her life... So after blowing her phone up with every connection possible... He texted Kaia. And Clair. And Liam and even Anna a few times. He’d ask about her, how she was doing. What she was doing. Who she was with. And at first, he figured he came off crazy... clingy even. But when they'd respond that she was still locked up in her room, he’d break. If she was upset, then maybe she didn't want this. Maybe she was just trying to convince herself she didn't want it. He glanced around the living room. Everything was neat and in place. Untouched even. When she had left, he immediately shattered a few glass trinkets by slamming them against the wall. Taking his anger out on inanimate objects. The poor cleaning person was a bit overwhelmed when they arrived the next day.

 

But he meant what he said. He meant it when he told her that he wasn't about to give up. That all he wanted was for her to have everything she deserved. All the good. All the kind. All the love. She’d left most of her stuff here. So at some point, she'd come back... She had to come back. He needed her. God, he fucking needed her like air. Like pure ocean breeze air. The kind that rolls through you and ignites your soul. He closed his eyes as he laid on the unmade bed. He hadn’t slept properly. He had to remind himself to eat. After day six, he immersed himself in his music. He drowned himself in guitar riffs, notes, and vocal ranges. When he showed up at the studio on day seven, Jeff nearly shit himself in shock. Here he was, hair a mess, pale skin and weak limbs.

 

“Harry... mate, go home,” Jeff said, walking into the booth and putting his hand on Harry's shoulder.

 

“I can’t,” Harry replied, looking down. “I... she's just everywhere.” Jeff sighed.

 

“If you want to fight for her.. you need to regain your strength. Harry, I’m worried about you. Not as your manager, as your best friend.” Harry looked up. “You need to relearn how to live without her.” The words pierced him like a goddamn bullet. Cutting into his already damaged heart. Live without her? Was Jeff fucking insane? No, Harry was looking to get her back. Not... not fucking reinvent his life.

 

He left the studio after an hour and headed home. Fuck sleep. He’ll just binge watch his favorite rom coms and hopefully pass out with a bottle of Johnny Walker next to him.

 

  
  
  


By day 14, he was a sort of functioning person. At least that's what Liam said when they had dinner last night. Here he was, relearning how to live without her. But instead of saying it in that sense, he was learning how to live for her. So when she came back, when she came home to him, he'd be ready. Ready and waiting. Sure, he'd still have his little fits or meltdowns, but at least he was bouncing back after them. He had organized their bedroom, and came across one of Ellie's books. It was her photography guide. One she carried around a lot and used to mark pages. He frowned. Maybe he could... is it too invasive? She did tell him where she'd be. And it's not like he hasn't been having updates on her from Kaia and Liam. Without a second thought, he headed to his car.

 

The drive was nerve wracking. But standing in front of this door, probably way fucking worse. His stomach was flipping. His hands were shaking. And yeah, if he had eaten this morning, he'd definitely would’ve thrown up by now. He'd been here so many times before. Hell, he had a key to this place. Why the fuck was this so hard? He wrapped his knuckles on the door.

 

“Coming!” A voice called out as the door opened. Kaia peered up, wide eyed. “Harry, what--” He pushed past her gently and looked around. Normal. It seemed just normal. “Yeah, sure, come on in...” Kaia mumbled, rolling her eyes. Harry leaned against the counter and watched Kaia fix up a cup of tea.

 

“So...” He began, rubbing his neck. His eyes landed on the closed door. Ellie’s closed door.

 

“Harry, this probably is like the worst idea...” Kaia said with a sigh. Harry looked down. Yeah... it really fucking was. But he just needed to see her. “But I’m glad you came.” He peeked up.

 

“You are?”

 

“Yeah, maybe... maybe if she sees you, she'll finally snap the fuck out of it.” He tilted his head in confusion.

 

“Snap out of what-”

 

“Harry?” Her voice. God her fucking voice. It was like his favorite song that he could have on repeat for the rest of his life. He looked at her and inhaled deeply. So beautiful. Even in her stupid black jeans covered in old paint, and her loose black tank top. Her hair was up in a messy bun and she looked like a fucking goddess. She looked... happy?

 

“E-Ellanore,” he stuttered out finally. Kaia looked between the two and quickly left for her room.

 

“LIAM! PREPARE YOURSELF!” She yelled and both Ellie and Harry rolled their eyes at the dramatics.

 

“She’s ridiculous,” Ellie mumbled, walking over to him. She smiled. “I’m.. I’m sorry I haven't come by for my stuff--”

 

“No. No, god, it’s fine. You can leave it there.” She looked at him for a moment. It was clear she was fighting her emotions. Maybe this was a bad idea. “Oh, I um... just wanted to bring this by.” He held her book and she immediately lit up.

 

“God, it’s like you’re psychic or something. I was literally looking for this last night. I needed to review a couple of things for my internship--”

 

“Internship? You... you got it?” He beamed brightly. She did it. She was doing better. She was coming around.

 

“Yeah, Paper Magazine.” Her cheeks flushed and he had to stop himself from grabbing her in for a kiss. She must've felt the same, because she held back and turned away, biting her lip.

 

“Ellanore...” His voice cracked and she sighed.

 

“Harry, I really don't want to do this,” she said, rubbing at her face. “I really can't do this...”

 

“Just come home. Alright? Just come back,” he said, practically begging. She looked up, tears already threatening to spill over.

 

“I can't. I told you, Harry. I can't.”

 

“Why the fuck not?!” His anger suddenly peaked. She was so stubborn and so frustrating, but god, he fucking missed it. He missed their bickering over the stupidest shit. Like what brand of milk to buy or what soap to use on the dishes. He ran his hands through his hair and tugged at the roots. She sighed next to him.

 

“I can't bring you down with me. Don't you get it? I did this so you can have a chance--”

 

“A chance? A chance? A chance at what?! Being fucked up for the rest of my life? A chance at never finding someone to love again?” He was now towering over her, but she wasn't the least bit phased. Instead, she just looked defeated. “Why are you giving up? Why are you letting your anxiety win? Your stronger than this--”

 

“Harry, it's not my anxiety! Its… It’s fucking everything. It’s people who are constantly watching your life, waiting to take you out--” He stopped and looked taken aback. She couldn't handle it?

 

“So you left because you can't handle the cameras and the rumors and shit? Since when the fuck does that bother you--”

 

“God, are you even listening to what I'm saying? I’m a fucking mess, Harry. I am not a tall beautiful model who's got her fucking life together, and racks in millions for posting selfies. I’m not some talented singer who tours and has millions of fans. I’m not some talented actress winning awards. I’m just me. I’m nothing special.”

 

“You think that's what I need? Some fake fucking girl in my life?! Someone who will use me and--”

 

“No, Harry. You need someone whose family isn’t fucked up. You need someone who... doesn’t have all these mental illnesses and baggage...” Her voice was shaking as she put the book down and walked over to him. “You deserve a normal girl. With a normal life. And...” He clenched his teeth and closed his eyes, feeling his heart stop. “And I’m not that.”

 

“You have no idea what I need,” he said, dangerously low. “If you still love me... if you still want to be with me... I’m going to wait for you,” he said, taking her hands in his. She tried to muster up some courage to pull them back, but she couldn't. She’d been so deprived of his touch for so long that the warmth of his skin was welcoming. “I told you, I’m not giving up.”

 

“I am... I should be alone. You’re at the height of your career. If people find out about what a trainwreck I am... no one will focus on you. And you fucking deserve all the light in this world,” she whispered with a sad smile, tears pooling down her cheeks and neck. Sighing, he shook his head.

 

“I wish I knew how to fix you. I wish I knew some way to make you see how... how absolutely incredible you are. Ellanore, you brought me out of my darkness when I met you. I just wish you could see that.” She let him press his lips to her forehead because she selfishly wanted to stay there forever. And just like that, the warmth of his mouth was gone. And the door closed to the apartment, Harry no longer in front of her.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  



	34. Chapter 34

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ISSSSS mONDAY MY DUDES
> 
> Mondays suck ass, but you know what doesnt? Fresh as fuck fan fiction chapter WOOOO! Enjoy loves

 

                    Day fucking sixteen. He’s been hiding in his apartment the last 4 days. Phone calls from his bandmates, his friends, his managers... he hit the fuck you button. Even Kaia tried to reach him. Liam must've opened his stupid mouth. So he did the only rational thing that came to his mind. Binged on every expensive liquor bottle in his penthouse, wallowing in his thoughts. There had to be something... anything to fucking bring her back. After he had paced around the living room for hours, he decided he needed to get the fuck out before he hyperventilated in his own mind. He quickly grabbed the half drank bottle of rum and his keys and headed for the door.

 

So maybe walking the NYC streets at night, completely trashed wasn't the best idea, but what surprised him the most is where he ended up. He stood outside the brick building and frowned. Of course. His stupid subconscious took him to her goddamn studio. He hadn't been here in awhile. Could she be up there? Has she even been here? Without a second though he pulled out his keys and saw the silver square one. She had given him a spare in case, considering she was always misplacing her stuff.

 

When he made it up the elevator and to the floor, he walked out and slid the key in her door again, pushing it open. The lights were off and he couldn't even see his hand in front of him. He reached around and felt the wall for the switch before finding it and smiling in success. The room was suddenly illuminated and he stood there taking it in. It never ceased to amaze him how incredibly talented she was. He noticed a couple of new charcoal pieces leaning against the wall, under the hung up paintings along the clothing line. Swigging the rum bottle, he dragged his heavy feet over to them. He bent down and saw a beautiful rendition of a butterfly. But of course, not just any butterfly... it was the beautiful one on his chest. One of her favorites. He smiled sadly to himself. His eyes drifted over to a newly printed photograph behind it. The photo was in black and white, he eyed it a moment and noticed it was him and Ellie. But she had the camera facing the large mirror on the wall in their bedroom on his side of the bed. Almost selfie-like, it was a reflection photo. She was laying on his back, her head resting on his broad shoulders. He must've been asleep when she’d taken it, because his head was facing the mirror, but his eyes were closed. He looked peaceful, relaxed, content. Even though she was completely topless, all you could see was the curve of her back, fitting against him almost perfectly, their lower halves covered in the white duvet. Fuck. She was going to be the death of him. He saw the look on her face in the photo. She was glowing. Radiant and alive. Nothing like how she looked when she left that night.

 

Had he done this to her? Had he pushed her away? He took another gulp of the alcohol, some dripping down his chin. He wiped it on his sleeve and sank down with a thud to the ground. His head was spinning. With all the booze he'd been chugging, he was surprised he didn't need his stomach pumped.

 

His eyes never left the picture as he emptied the last of the bottle’s contents. He sighed and pushed it away, leaning against the white wall. He couldn't keep this up. She couldn't handle it. He knew he should've waited to go public. But being with her... being around her, it just gave him a new light in his life. One that woke him from the dark haze all those months ago. He leaned his head back, scanning over all of her beautiful creations. Aside from him, her art was the only other place she really was herself. So many different mediums and styles. Her favorite being photography. With his eyes closing in his drunken state, his thoughts wandered to a memory that always made him smile.

 

_ 2 Months ago _

 

_ He hummed along to his spotify, his hips shaking a bit as he flipped over the eggs in the pan. He sipped at the juice in his hand and smiled to the lyrics of the oldies song blaring from the kitchen speakers. The sound of a shutter snapping caught his attention and he turned to see his girlfriend standing the hall her huge camera attached to her hands. _

 

“ _ You mind there, paparazzi?” He said, laughing a bit. She peeked up and narrowed her eyes. _

 

_ “Sorry, your ass just looked really defined in this lighting,” she said, making a face. _

 

“ _ You’re lucky I don't come over there, miss” he said, raising an eyebrow playfully. _

 

“ _ Ooh, I’m so scared,” she said as he turned back to the stove. The sound of the camera went off a couple more times. _

 

“ _ Hope you’re at least getting good shots.” She giggled at his sass. _

 

“ _ Are there even any bad angles on you? It’s like every fucking picture I take of you, you look like a goddamn greek god,” she mumbled. Harry let out a chuckle. _

 

“ _ Oh no, your boyfriend is too attractive,” he mocked and heard the shutter. “Alright, you, camera down. You've got enough of my ass in these pants. Fuck’s sake...” He muttered. The morning breeze hit them both and Ellie shivered. _

 

“ _ God, Harry, it’s like 40 degrees outside. Why the fuck do you have to keep these doors open?” She grumbled, closing the balcony doors. _

 

“ _ You wouldn't be cold if you didn't walk around in just my black t-shirt and your underwear.” He gasped when he felt her cold hands on his back. “Christ-” _

 

“ _ I hate the cold,” she mumbled into his back. _

 

_ “ No worries, bub, be spring soon,” he said, looking over his shoulder. She was so beautiful. All fresh faced from the shower, her hair in waves down her back. _

 

“ _ You’re gonna burn the eggs,” she said, letting him go and sitting on the kitchen island. _

 

“ _ I don't burn eggs. You, however,” he said before turning the stove off and sliding both omelettes on two plates. She smiled widely at him and took the plate from his hand. She stared down at it and the back at him.“What's that face?” _

 

“ _ Bacon?” She asked. He shook his head. _

 

“ _ Love, you’re going to get diabetes if you keep eating all of those unhealthy foods, yeah?” He said, putting his plate down and crossing his arms. She rolled her eyes and sighed. _

 

“ _ But... this has vegetables in it.” He laughed at her examining it. _

 

“ _ Welp fuck, guess you’re just gonna have to eat it so my feelings aren't hurt,” he said, making a fake pout. “Just take a bite--stop picking it apart, will yeh?” He broke off a piece and put it to her lips. She shook her head. “You’re being a child.” _

 

“ _ So?” She said, challenging him. _

 

“ _ Make a deal, yeah? You eat this, and I'll eat something else for breakfast,” he said casually. She tilted her head for a moment and he waited for her to figure it out. He felt her swat his arm and he barked out a laugh. _

 

“ _ You’re such a fucking horndog,” she complained. But nevertheless, she leaned down and took a bite. _

 

“ _ I may be that, pet, but you’re the one who just accepted the deal.” He scooped her off the granite top and wrapped his arms under her thighs. She gasped and he carried her to the bedroom, throwing her down on the unmade bed, making her laugh. He leaned over her and kissed her neck, noticing she still was chewing. “Uh uh, swallow,” he said into her ear. He felt her tense under his hand and he knew he’d pressed her buttons. When she swallowed, he pressed his lips under her ear sucking harshly. “That’s my good girl.” _

  
  


**Buzz. Buzz. Buzz.**

 

Groaning, Harry rubbed at his eyes. Sunlight streamed through the open windows from the top of the walls. He turned and noticed the throbbing in the back of his skull.  _ Fuck _ , he thought. The buzzing became louder and he looked down to see his phone. Liam.

 

**Liam:**

_ Meet me at your apartment. _

 

With a sigh, he rubbed at his sore eyes... Fuck, did he cry last night? Slowly, he stood up and took one last look around before hitting the lights and heading towards his door.

 

 

* * *

 

  
  
  


Ellie sat at her small cubical. Her eyes were starting to hurt from going through thousands and thousands of prints on this computer. But fuck, she loved her job. Everywhere she turned, she was getting asked to do things and her opinion was actually acknowledged. She glanced at her phone, 3pm. Shit, she needed to clock out in 30 minutes. She had work tonight at 5. She pondered if she'd have time to run back and grab dinner before changing.

 

“Ellanore.” Her head shot up to see her boss walking over. Victoria Hawk was not what she had expected. Because even though the woman barely displayed any sort of emotion ever, she was never anything less than respectful to everyone around her. However, her snap was quite bad. If you angered her in any way, you had to sit and handle a disappointed and narrowing stare. Some poor guy used the wrong color layout the other night and she laid into him for 30 minutes. Everyone watched him retreat her office, pale and dazed. No one heard yelling, but... she imagined it was way worse. Either way, Ellie would always give her a smile because manners.

 

“Mrs. Hawk...” The woman raised an eyebrow at the use of her last name. “I mean Victoria.”

 

“I got your thoughts for the editing on the alternative music section layout,” she said, pausing and pursing her lips.  _ Oh god, here it comes _ , Ellie thought almost bitterly. “It's good. You’re doing well here.” She let out a breath she didn't even realize she was holding. “I need those prints done by the end of the week. Choose at most 100 of the 1750.” For fucking fuck’s sake. With that, she stalked away, letting Ellie’s hand run up and down her face. Fuck, her makeup. She was taking it off when she got home. So much for a relaxing night.

 

* * *

  
  
  
  


After Liam had dragged Harry to a shower, cursing him left and right about how shitty he smelled, they pretty much went out for lunch and Harry let Liam go on and on about his upcoming performances and what not. His skin was itching and he was more than dying to let the question slip off his tongue. How was she? Where was she? Was she okay after he stormed out? SO many fucking questions and he didn't want to bother him with any. It wasn't right to bring everyone into their drama. He was never like this. He was always a private person.

 

“And basically--” Liam stopped, noticing Harry’s drifting stare. He wasn't looking ahead of him, just more of a lost in thought. With a sigh, he put his drink down. “Alright, man. Ask,” he said, rubbing at his face. He knew Harry. He knew his mate was practically clawing at his cuticles under the table. Harry snapped out of it and looked at Liam questioningly.

 

“What you on about?” He said, offended.

 

“Fucking ask about her already.” Harry stayed quiet and looked down.

 

“Is... She just doing okay?” He wouldn't dare stare Liam in the face.

 

“Honestly mate? Not even sure anymore...” With that, Harry’s face whipped up. “She seems fine, but... she's just off. She barely talks about much to any of us, including Kaia. Which is making my poor girlfriend’s hair go grey... She's closed off.” Great. He fucking broke her. She wasn't totally broken before, but... after saying he wish he knew how to fix her and storming out. Yeah that'd fuck her up. Her last bit of hope was him. And he just told her he didn't know what to do. There was a heavy silence.

 

But what made him freeze was the sound of a camera maybe 50 feet away. Fuck. Liam noticed him tense and turned to see a pap with an extended lense pointed at the two.

 

“Dirty fuckers,” Harry muttered, pushing his tea cup away. “I miss her so much.”

 

“Trust me, Harry... she misses you too,” his friend said, stirring the last bit of his tea.

 

“Then why did she leave, Liam?” He’d been asking that question a lot. To himself, to her, to her friends. Why? It was so sudden. But... her family. God that cursed trip ruined everything.

 

“Because believe it or not, she thinks you’re better off without her. And apparently is a firm believer in the ‘if you love them, let them go’ theory.” Harry sighed. “C'mon mate. Me you and Niall are going out tonight. Got us a section at a club.”

 

“I don't want to go to a fucking club, Liam,” he mumbled in his hands. Liam rolled his eyes.

 

“To get drunk with your other mates instead of alone in your fucking dark ass flat? Fuck off, you’re coming.”

 

There was no point in arguing. Hey, at least he got to get drunk again.

 

* * *

  
  
  
  


Having a meltdown was... weird for Ellie. There are different states for her. Sometimes it's complete silence to everyone. Sometimes it's bursts of anger randomly at people. And sometimes it’s crying. But she already cried. Well, she cried when she left Harry. But since then, it’s been her pretending she's all good. Everyone in this apartment was walking on eggshells around her. It was like they were waiting for her to blow up. But.. she didn't want to. She kinda was numb to it. Everyone had gone out tonight. It was a girl’s night, since apparently Liam was at some club thing. So she sat in the dark of the living room, candles lit around her. She was currently almost finished with the 100 prints for Victoria. Thank god. After work, Marge told her to go home and sleep. Something about being really pale and sick looking. Yeah, well, breakups and breakdowns will do that to you. Her makeup probably wore off.

 

That was the secret. Makeup. No one around her saw her without these past days. Why? Because even she was getting scared of her own reflection. Pale didn't even begin to cover it. She looked practically dead. The mental stress and tolls coming after her. She started to forget to eat, she’d sometimes only get three hours of sleep, tops. Harry was kinda like a security blanket at night to her. But since he was gone... She winced.

 

And then there was that. Since her departure from Harry, her anxiety has now gotten almost ten times worse. She’d hide the small tremors and tiny panic attacks by closing her eyes and clenching her chest to refrain it. But now, her muscles were always tense and everytime she was stressed, the sharp pains would shoot through her chest.

 

Her friends were concerned. She kept hearing, ‘Are you okay?’ ‘How are you feeling?’ every goddamn time they saw her. And she wanted to say no. She wanted to say fuck no, she was not fucking okay. The night she left him... was the worst mistake she has ever made. Fuck, she was so empty. It was like she was Voldemort, ripping her soul into pieces because she hurt him. She fucking destroyed the man she loved. Is that fucking okay? No, it most certainly was not. But this was for his own good. And god help her if Nadine ever crossed her path again. Because rage didn't even begin to cover what she felt for this bitch.

 

* * *

  
  
  


Liam was chugging his third shot with Niall, and Harry was sitting next to them, eyeing everyone around them. They were grinding and swerving and dancing to the beat that vibrated the club walls. The place was nice, kinda upper class-ish. Definitely high end and exclusive.

 

“Don't be such a killjoy, Harry, take a fucking shot,” Niall said, handing him a small clear shot glass. He didn't want a shot. He wanted the whole fucking bottle. He hesitated and shook his head, putting it down. “Figured you were gonna be this way, so we have called in reinforcements,” he said, standing up and walking into the crowd. Reinforcements? The fuck was he saying? When the blonde reappeared--he had a pair of familiar blue eyes and brown hair with him. Louis?

 

“Why the long faces, lads?” His familiar accent bounded up the steps and Liam got up and hugged him for a moment. Harry gave him a weak smile and stood. “Look at you, mate, s'got you all fooked in the ‘ead'?” He asked, pulling him in.

 

“Girl trouble,” Niall began. Harry shot him a glare and he raised his hands in defense.

 

“Oh yeah- Saw you two in the print the other day. She's a looker mate, nice one,” he said, before sitting down and grabbing a shot from the table. Liam was sipping his drink, eyeing the two cautiously. See, Harry was a wild drunk.. but he and Louis were total fucking chaos together. Which meant he was staying a bit sober to keep an eye on them.

 

“Yeah... she’s fucking gorgeous,” Harry said quietly, his eyes on the vodka bottle sitting in the ice. Christ... this may have been a bad plan.

 

“Well then, let's get a bit wrecked to forget our troubles, lads,” Louis grabbed the bottle and immediately popped the top chugging it a bit.

 

“Oi--s'for the table, you asshole,” Liam said, grabbing the bottle. Louis laughed and nudged Niall. Niall grabbed it from Liam’s hand and mimicked Louis's actions. But what made everyone freeze was when Harry wrapped his hand around it and in almost one fell swoop, drained it. He coughed a bit and set the practically empty bottle on the table. Everyone was silent. “Mate--”

 

“Let’s just get fucked up,” he said, gesturing to one of the waitresses to bring them another vodka bottle. Louis grabbed his shoulder and shook him.

 

“That’s the spirit, mate.”  _ Oh yeah. Super bright idea, Liam _ , he thought.

  
  



	35. Chapter 35

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi lovelies IS MONDAYYYYYYYYYYY
> 
> The sequel to this is coming along swell, as well as my ideas for a new story ;)

It's a shame, really. All these beautiful pieces of art. And the world will probably never see them. Harry stood in the middle of Ellie's studio. She clearly hasn't been in here for a while. There was a foreclosure sign on the door. Great. She probably forgot to pay the rent. Although... he was pretty sure she’s so broken she doesn't care anymore. Day twenty. Yup, we were here. Almost a whole fucking month. And he hadn't seen her since that night in the apartment. But he did come here a lot. He’d go through her books and old sketches. All so beautiful and all so her. The world deserves these masterpieces. Today he was having it all moved to a storage unit he rented at the apartment. It was ventilated and right now, he was having over ten guys moving things to a trunk downstairs. He had packed up all of her art supplies. He’d take that to the apartment and keep it in his office closet.

 

“God, that is a part of you I did not have to see, mate,” Louis grumbled behind him, tilting his head to the side. Harry turned to see a rather exposing photo of his ass and he laughed.

 

“Piss off. One of my favorites,” Harry said, tucking his phone in his pockets. A couple of the men walked out holding a rather large canvas carelessly. “Don't damage anything or I’ll have words with your supervisor,” he threatened through gritted teeth. The men quickly scurried away, fearing his attitude.

 

“Christ, Harry, relax,” Niall said from the couch. He was giving harry an odd look. “Also, I agree, your arse dimples look quite peeky there.” Harry rolled his eyes and watched as more men entered.

 

“You sure you don't want to just tell her, mate? She’s gonna come back here and wonder where all her stuff is,” Liam said also from the couch. He was rubbing the back of his neck, clearly hesitant on what there doing.

 

“Liam, you haven't even seen her in a while... She clearly doesn't come here anymore. Although I’m gonna miss this place. She probably wants to avoid anything to do with me..” Harry ran his hand along the metal table where he used to watch her sketch under the bright spot light.

 

“Oi, what’s this?” Louis asked, pushing a bunch of canvases out of the way. There was a large white paper covered in just black paint. A few handprints and smears were circling around a large imprint. She kept it... It was mounted, but not framed. Harry's breath caught and he walked over.

 

**_Flashback_ **

 

_ Harry yawned and turned over, seeing Ellie sitting at the metal art table across from him. This place was relaxing. No wonder she disappeared so often. Not to mention the couch was warm and cozy. He watched as her nude back stretched out and she stretched her neck back and forth. He smiled and walked over, not even bothering to bring the blanket over his nude body. He wrapped his arms around her and pressed soft kisses into her neck. She moaned a bit and laid her head back on his shoulder. _

 

“ _ Oh hello,” she said softly. He smiled and kissed her lips. “Did I wake you?” _

 

“ _ Not at all.” There was no one else here, he wanted to whisper. The only light in the room were the twinkling Christmas lights she had around the top of the ceiling looking like stars and the spotlight on her drawing on the table. “S'beautiful, my love.” _

 

“ _ It’s not even done yet,” she said, laughing a bit as he took in the drawing. It was a pair of hands clasped tightly together. It may not be done, but his breath is taken away. He was lost in her art. He was lost in her. The sounds of an acoustic song play so lightly, he can barely make out the voice. His lips were trailing up and down her neck, and he watched her eyes fall close in pleasure. _

 

“ _ Love you...” he whispered and she immediately turned on the stool. She watched his eyes roam over naked body. The tips of his fingers ran along her neck, down her shoulders. Without a second thought, his lips were on her again. He wanted to taste her. Every inch of her lavender-smelling skin. Her hands wrapped around his neck, pulling him as close as she could, encouraging him and egging him on. God, she was perfect. The curves. The soft mounds of her breasts, as he nibbled love bites along her collar bones. _

 

“ _ Harry, fuck,” she moaned as he slid his hands under her thighs and swung her around. Her legs instinctively wrapped around his waist. She could feel his hard length graze her between her legs. _

 

“ _ So...” Kiss. “Fucking.” Kiss. “Perfect.” She was panting now as he stepped back and accidently knocked over her black paint bucket. The paint leaked out all over the white paper laid on the floor. Stopping, he looked down but she quickly shook her head. _

 

“ _ Fuck it,” she begged and pulled his attention back to her. He laughed as she pressed her swollen lips to his. Immediately, she was grinding against him and he hissed in pleasure. He sank them to the floor, flipping her around and laying her to the floor. On all fours, he towered over her, his breath short as he fought for dominance in their passionate kiss. Her hand landed in the paint as he ground his cock against her middle. Her back arched, covered in the black paint. He slid his hand along her thigh, a black streak on her perfect pale skin. _

 

“ _ Christ,” he growled, as she wrapped her hand around his length. Wasting no time, he sank into her, causing her to gasp loudly. The noise alone sent heat straight to his already-building orgasm. Her hair flowed around her, soaked in paint. _

 

“ _ Holy fuck,” she moaned out, grabbing his bicep for support. He pulled all the way out and she practically whimpered from the loss of fullness. She took him so nicely. He held her thigh around his waist to keep her in place. When he slammed back into her, she jolted up, the paint dragging along the paper. She had a hold on his neck now, and he could feel the paint dripping down his back. _

 

“ _ That’s it, pet,” he praised as he once again thrusted deeply into her. Her paint-covered fingers grazed down his back. He sucked at the spot behind her ear as he slammed into her hips. Her breasts were rising and falling rapidly and her mouth was in an 'o' shape. “Take me so well—look how beautiful you are.” He had his other hand next to her head for support. She was writhing under him. _

 

“ _ F-faster,” she whispered. He looked at her for a moment. _

 

“ _ You sure, lov-” He didn’t get the words out before she grabbed him into a heated kiss. Harry obliged, lifting her leg up higher and picked up his pace. Her small hands found his ass cheeks and she squeezed them needingly. _

 

“ _ Oh, fuck, Harry-” Her voice was shaking but he knew it was with pure euphoria as her eyes shut. She was close—he could feel her contracting around him. Burying his face in her neck, he rocked into her harder and she dug her nails into his shoulder. He could feel the build up in his lower stomach. _

 

“ _ Come for me, princess...” he said into her ear. She met him halfway with each thrust. He felt her let go, but she continued to ride him out so he could reach his high too. With a few more slams, his vision went a bit white and he pushed deeply into her as he rode out his orgasm. The second it was over, they limply fell against each other. Of course only she would ever stroke his hair and run her hands along his back soothingly. Fuck, she was so giving and loving. _

 

“ _ Baby,” she whispered in his ear. His eyes were closed. They were both covered in a layer of sweat and black paint. But he did not give a fuck. Even though he was fucked out, he leaned forward and kissed her neck softly. _

 

“ _ Just... just lay her a mo', love.” Their breath was still heavy. She laughed a bit. _

 

“ _ Harry, we’re covered in acrylic paint,” she tried to reason but he was having none of it as he leaned up on his elbows. He kissed her nose and she laughed. _

 

_ “You look like an art project,” he said, brushing a stray hair from her forehead. She giggled and ran her hand up his arm. _

 

“ _ I can only imagine what your ass looks like.” Slowly, he sat up on his hind legs and looked behind her. She followed his motions, looking down at the once-white paper below them. Thoughtful, she turned to him. _

 

“ _ It’s beautiful.” _

 

“ _ Thats because it’s us, love,” he said, pressing his lips to her temple. _

 

_ *** _

 

If his heart hurt before, he felt like he could throw up at any moment from the straining pain. If he didn’t know what an anxiety attack was, he would have sworn he was having a heart attack. She fucking kept it. Fuck, it was so beautiful. He ran his hand over the now-dry paint and stood back quickly. He blinked a couple of times before turning away from his friends and walked out of the room to catch his breath.

 

“Harry-” Liam's voice brought him out of the trance he fell into.

 

“I know what I have to do,” Harry said, turning to his friends.

 

“What are you-”

 

“Liam. Just... just trust me,” Harry begged and Liam just nodded. Because he had never seen such determination in his mate’s eyes before.

  
  
  


 

* * *

 

  
  
  


It kinda hit her suddenly. She was standing in the kitchen on her day off. Her life seemed to be falling back into place. She had her spotify on and suddenly, his voice filled the speakers. It was so fucking random and even though she had over five thousand songs on there, of course Sweet Creature played out through the living room. Oh fuck. Oh god. Why couldn’t she breathe? She dropped the pan and turned the stove off. Fuck, her breakfast. Right now, she was ready to throw up. Or maybe cry? Or both.

 

“Ellie...” Kaia’s voice was soft behind her. Ellie just turned to her friend. “Ellie, are you alright? You’re really pale,” her friend began, but Ellie just stared at her. Like she was reliving something really traumatic or vivid. She shook Ellie’s shoulders, trying to snap her out of it.

 

“K-Kaia...” Ellie tried to speak, but she was hyperventilating. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. She backed up into the wall.

 

“Ellie, are you okay?”

 

“No.” By this time, Clair, Anna, and Gwen were there watching her, scared. She turned to them. “No, I’m not. I’m not okay. Guys—guys, I’m not okay.” She covered her mouth and sank to the floor. Tears came in waterfalls down her cheeks and she gasped for air. Kaia fell down next to her and pulled her into her chest. “Kaia, I’m not okay—I’m not okay-” She was repeating herself. But Kaia just rubbed her back.

 

“It’s alright, Ellie. We’re here, just...” She felt lost. How do you comfort someone like this? The last time she was this bad was when she first had the fight with her parents. She looked behind her at Clair, Anna, and Gwen for help. They frowned and she could tell they’re just as lost about the situation.

 

So Kaia sat there, her best friend cradled in her arms shaking with sobs for a good hour. When she heard soft breaths, she saw Ellie asleep her head on her lap. She frowned.

 

“Girl... you’re torturing yourself,” Kaia whispered sadly. She knew Ellie couldn't hear her, but she hoped that her subconscious may. She pushed Ellie’s hair back and looked up helplessly as Liam walked in the front door. He saw Ellie asleep, but still shaking with sobs. He frowned.

 

“What... what happened?” He said, staring at them.

 

“Liam... she’s killing herself. She’s literally fighting this shit everyday and--and I don't know how to fix it,” Kaia whispered, a tear slipping from her eye. Liam looked down and sighed.

 

“Our friends are pretty fucking stupid aren't they?” he mumbled. “Here, lemme lay her in bed,” he said, standing up and scooping Ellie in his arms. He walked to her room and placed her on the bed, pulling the covers over her. Kaia frowned when she saw her best friend automatically reach out next to her. She was literally reaching for him in her sleep. Her rested face contorted into a pout and she sighed, curling into herself.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  



	36. Chapter 36

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Surprise! A gift for your fridayyyy. Cant believe theres only a couple chapters left?! holy crap. But don't worry the Sequel is THRIVING YALLL.

Ellie's phone went off on the counter. Kaia reached over and grabbed it. She’d been asleep a whole twelve hours and Kaia had checked on her a couple of times. Hopefully, she would sleep a bit longer. She needed it.

 

“Who is it?” Clair asked nonchalantly as she took a bite of her cereal. The word Nadine popped up on the screen and Kaia’s blood ran cold. What the fuck? “Kai, what is it--” She leaned over and her face fell.

 

“Why the fuck is that cunt texting her?” She growled.

 

“No idea...” Kaia opened the text and read it. 'It’s been a month. Did you do it yet?' What? Do what? “Did you do it yet?”

 

Anna frowned.

 

“The hell does that mean?” Anna asked. 

 

Kaia read over the other messages and saw a few before it dinged again. “This one says, 'If you backed out of this deal, I will end you.'”

 

“What fucking deal?” Kaia growled. Liam opened the door and walked in with a tray of coffee. He noticed that all four girls were livid and frowns. Just then, Niall walked in behind him, shutting the door.

 

“Got you ladies some bagels. I wasn’t sure whatcha liked and oh... what happened?” Niall looked between everyone.

 

“She made a deal...” Kaia said. “With Nadine...” Just then, the boys rounded on Kaia, who was holding holding Ellie’s phone. She scrolled up and saw more texts.

  
  


**Nadine:**

 

_ Clock’s ticking princess. You better have kept your end of the bargain. _

 

**Nadine:**

 

_ Answer me. Or I’ll come for you. _

 

**Nadine:**

 

_ You know Harry never wanted you anyway if it makes the break up easier. Don't worry, he’ll be safe in my hands. _

  
  


Kaia read out the last text and she paled. Oh god. This fucking bitch has been blackmailing her. Just then, Ellie emerged from her room. She was pale and her eyes were red and puffy. She looked around at everyone.

 

“Why didn't you tell me...” Kaia asked and Ellie tilted her head in confusion.

 

“Tell you--Kai, why do you have my phone?” Ellie said, walking over. Kaia stood up and narrowed her eyes.

 

“Nadine’s been blackmailing you...” She said in disbelief. Ellie froze. Fuck. There was a dark, heavy silence. She could even feel Liam and Niall's anger simmer. “What the fuck, Ellanore... Why didn’t you say anything?”

 

“Because she will ruin him god damn it,” she said defensively.

 

“Is that what you’re so fucking worried about? This useless slimy bitch coming after him? What could she possibly have--”

 

“She knows.” They all look at her, dumbfounded. “My family. She knows everything. Alyssa told her.”

 

_ There’s that silence again _ , she thought.

 

“I’m going to fucking kill her--” Kaia said angrily, gripping the phone.

 

“No! Kaia, no- Please don't, okay? Just let it go. Liam, he’s happy, right? Niall? You guys went out the other night.” Liam shook his head and sighed.

 

“Ellanore... no. You both need to stop this,” Niall spoke up.

 

“Stop what? I’m doing this for him. Even if she doesn’t release it… That night at my parents... Trust me. He’s better off this way. He’s better off with someone who’s not me,” she said, trying her best to sound convincing. But she was stuttering and she was scared. Because after last night’s episode, she knew if she kept it up... It might be her last one day. And that scared her. Because to her, even in her darkest depression, she’d never thought of ending her life. But she’d contemplated what the world would be without her.

 

“We’re going to fucking handle this. You stay here,” Kaia said, pointing at her. Ellie went to grab the phone but Clair grabbed her. “I’m going to find her and rip her apart. And you--you’re coming with me.” Liam nodded and walked out with Kaia. Niall gave Ellie a sad smile.

 

–

  
  


Kaia had a death grip on the Ellie’s iphone. Her eyes were darting every which way along the sidewalk as she sat in the passenger seat of Liam’s car.

 

“There she is,” Liam said, pointing towards the door of the coffee shop. Kaia had sent a text telling her to meet them at the cafe.

 

“Stay here,” Kaia said, opening the door and approaching the girl who was now looking at her phone. Nadine looked up and looked at Kaia oddly before Kaia leaned in and smirked.

 

“Can I help you?” Nadine replied, annoyed.

 

“If you know what's good for you, you will shut your mouth and walk with me.” Nadine paled at Kaia’s words.

 

“And if I don’t?” Nadine stuttered out.

 

“I break your fucking nose,” she whispered to the model. Nadine immediately froze.

 

“Who the fuck are you--”

 

“Your worst fucking nightmare...” She held up Ellie’s phone. “I know everything.” Nadine's eyes flickered from the phone to the red-faced girl in front of her. Hesitantly, she followed Nadine as they entered the shop. They sat in the far corner and Nadine smirked.

 

“IF she sent you, I’d be careful. I have the email in my drafts--”

 

“Save it, bitch. Listen very carefully. You are done blackmailing her.”

 

“And why do you think that?”

 

“Because I have things that can ruin you...” And she did. With one text, she was sure that she could secure those photos of Nadine cheating on Harry. The ones before she opened her mouth about him cheating. Nadine frowned.

 

“You have nothing--”

 

“Do you want to take that chance? He doesn't love you, Nadine. You are nothing to him. You have been nothing to him for months.” Kaia narrowed her eyes. “So if you really know what's good for you, you will delete the emails and forget all this.” Kaia leaned back in her chair, waiting for the girl’s next move. Kaia could tell she was debating hard. She could let it go, find someone else to pursue. But she was bitter.

 

“She took him from me,” Nadine spat, her eyes darkening.

 

“No, Nadine. He was never yours to begin with,” Kaia replied heavily. She sat forward. “I have them. An entire album of your rat ass with a variety of different men... during the time you were with Harry.” Of course she didn't have them all yet... but she could. Easily. Nadine’s eyes flicked to the phone and she clenched her jaw.

 

“I-”

 

“You never loved him. You used him. For everything he has. Disgusting.” And it was true. Nadine didn’t want him. At one point she did... but then she just didn't. He was a phase to her. A few months’ fling. But she was so hellbent on revenge on Ellie. Because no one had ever done to her what she’d done to others. “This shouldn't be a hard choice,” Kaia enforced.

  
  


“I wish I could rip you both apart. She deserves the hell she gets,” Nadine said, tears welling in her eyes. But that didn't stop her from scrolling to her email and immediately deleting the pre-written context. She turned it to Kaia. “Tell them both to rot in hell for me.” With that, she shoved back the table and stood up. But not before Kaia shot up after her and turned her around, leaning dangerously close to her ear.

 

“One last thing...” Nadine looked at her. “If you even think about surfacing again and threatening her or him or any of us… I’ll have her come after you. And she's not a very merciful person.” Kaia leaned back and gave Nadine a sickening smile before trotting off outside, leaving the girl stunned.

 

When she got in the car, Liam turned to her.

 

“Shit, Kai, what’d you do to her?” Kaia looked at him, then followed his gaze to see Nadine, pale as a ghost, shakily walking down the street again.

 

“Told her I’d let Ellie handle it next time.” Liam snorted.

 

“Oh yeah, that'd scare anyone.”

 

  
  


Waiting for Kaia and Liam to return had Ellie pacing along the floor. She was shaking and trying to take deep breaths. Niall sat at the table eating his bagel practically carefree and the girls had all headed to the their last classes and jobs.

 

“Ya gonna wear a hole in the floorboards there, El,” Niall said, raising an eyebrow.

 

“I know Kaia isn’t violent and neither is Liam, but what if she posts it out of spite… Fuck. I ruined him.” Ellie sank into the couch, tugging at her roots.

 

“Ruined who? Harry?”

 

“Yes, Harry. Niall, he’s gonna hate me. I know I broke it off, but I was trying to adjust to maybe us being friends again--”

 

“You and Harry aren't gonna be friends again, El,” he said matter-of-factly, causing her to look up at him.

 

“What do you mean by that?” Niall stared at her for a moment before bursting out into laughter.

 

“Oh shit, you’re serious--Ellie, Harry full on loves you. He won't be able to have just friendship, you know that right?” Her face fell. Fuck it. He was right. How could she even think of putting him through that kinda shit? Friends after a relationship like they had? He was stubborn enough to fucking die alone before he’d let that happen. The door opened and in walked a smug looking Kaia, Liam trailing behind.

 

“What happened?” Ellie shot up and ran to her.

 

“Your girl handled it, that’s what fucking happened,” she said, throwing her arm around Ellie. “Now you and Harry can get back together and stop tortur-”

 

“Whoa, whoa--what? No,” Ellie said, pulling away from her friend’s arm. Everyone stared at her in disbelief.

 

“What do you mean ‘no’? Ellie, I just-”

 

“I mean no. We aren't getting back together.”

 

“Are you okay? Did you smack your head? Ellanore. It’s done. She’s not gonna do shit.”

 

“That’s not the whole reason we broke up, Kaia.”

 

“Well, then, why did you break up? Because honestly--you haven't told any of us.” She crossed her arms in aggravation.

 

“I broke up with him because he deserves better,” Ellie said sternly, standing her ground.

 

“Deserves better? What the hell are you saying?”

 

“I’m saying, Kaia, he’s a good fucking person with a big heart. And I love him enough to end this before I end up getting worse.” Kaia furrowed her brows.

 

“What do you mean by ‘get worse’?” Niall spoke up.

 

“I’m a mental disaster. Anxiety, depression... my bad days are bad. He's gonna stay because he's a good fucking man, and I can't drag him into that shitty-ass darkness.”

 

“Since when have you even been having bad days? Why haven't you said anything? Aren't you even seeing your psych--” Ellie groaned.

 

“Ugh, Yes, okay. YES, I have been, but that doesn’t mean I’m not gonna have them. Okay, this is my fucking fight. And... he's doing so much with his life. I don't want to hold him back,” she said sadly. “I just wish you would realize that.”

 

“No, what I realize is that you’re selfish,” Kaia stated. Ellie frowned.

 

“I’m selfish? I’m fucking selfish for letting him go?!” She said angrily, her heart rate rising.

 

“No, you’re selfish for making that choice for him.” With that, she pushed past Ellie and toward her room. “This world was never kind to you, El. Finally, it’s giving you back what you deserve and you just throw it away.”

 

  
  


Ellie stared at the wall in front of her that used to hold a couple of photo frames. Ones she took down and threw in a box when she moved in with Harry. Now the wall was just bare and white. Even in the dark casting of the moon light. Sounds of the city echoed from the cracked window next to her. It'd been six hours and she had replayed everything Kaia had said to her. Was she being selfish? Probably. But in the end, everyone would thank her. If that mean losing people, fine. She was better alone anyway. At least that's what her mind kept telling her.

There was a reason she isolated herself so much when she was in this state. So no one had to see her deteriorate. Silent tears had been streaming down her face all night. She missed him. She missed him so goddamn bad. His large calloused hands. The way he'd hum to her at night and rub her back. The smell of his expensive cologne, that stayed on the sheets and her clothes. The way they'd fight if she watched ahead of him on their favorite show on Netflix. The way his legs always tangled in hers, and because of his tall lanky frame, he’d always koala bear hug her.

A sob escaped her lips and she covered her mouth. The last thing she wanted was for anyone to hear her. She’d already had her breakdown the other day. It was done. She needed to buck up and knock it off. That's what her mother would tell her. Tears were for the weak. And she shouldn't be weak. Even if it felt like her heart was sinking deep within her chest. And right now, she just couldn't find the energy to fight.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  



	37. Chapter 37

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THIS IS ITTTTTT A final chapter of the first book! wow. okay so i just wanted to let yall know, i actually have severe ADHD and finishing a story like this is realllly huge for me. Anyway, the first chapter of the sequel is up! Its called more then friends! 
> 
> Thank you to everyone that has commented, liked, bookmarked and all that. Seriously, it makes me feel so amazing and you guys fucking rock.

“Yeah, you just need to get her here—No, put that one over there!” Harry called out to one of workers.

 

“Harry, I don't know. She's been locked In her room for the past three days. She won't even talk to me. Or anyone for that matter...” Kaia said, sighing on the other end of the phone.

 

“Then send Liam or Niall in. Hell, I’ll even send Louis over there if you'd like,” Harry argued. “Please, Kaia, I need her to come.” There was a pause before he heard a groan.

 

“Ugh, fine, I’ll try my best,” Kaia grumbled before hanging up. Perfect. He slipped the phone into his pocket.

 

“Everything's coming together wonderfully. It's going to look amazing, Harry, this artwork is breathtaking,” a voice said from behind him. He turned around with a smile.

 

“Thanks, Elizabeth. Couldn't have done this without you,” he says as the tall blonde woman in a white dress suit and black heels smiles at him.

 

“Of course, Harry, anything for you. I hope she likes it. I've come up with a perfect set up for it all.”

 

“Great, do you know how many guests have confirmed?”

 

“Over 500. We’re expecting a big turn out,” she says excitedly. “Now you head home, I'll finish up here.” He couldn't have been more thrilled. When the idea sparked him the other night, he had to call in a favor. This was perfect for her. And hopefully, she will finally feel as proud of herself as he always was.

 

  
  
  
  


The banging on the door repeated and Ellie sighed. Welp, at least she got four days of complete solitude. She figured it wouldn't be lasting too long, but it was nice. Just her and her thoughts. When she opened the door, Clair pulled her out into the hall and into the living room.

 

“I don’t give a fuck what you say, you’re going out with us tonight. Get dressed,” Clair said ruthlessly. She shoved a garment bag into her hands. “Go shower and put this on. We have to leave in a couple hours.”

 

“I’m not going out with you guys. I’m tired--”

 

“You've been in that room for four days. You’re not tired. Now... you either put that on yourself or,” Kaia approached her with a devious smile. “I put it on for you.” Ellie frowned and rolled her eyes. Whatever, she’ll leave after 30 minutes. She definitely needed a shower, though. Her hair was gross.

  
  


After a long shower, she jumped out and managed to get her hair to behave. As soon as she was in her room, she began her makeup routine. Honestly, she looked good. Her hair was down in a messy bun, a large braid to the side, a couple of strands hanging on the sides of her face. Her makeup was soft with a simple black wing, and dark cherry red lips. It's the first time in a while she put effort into a look. She looked at the time. Great, only twenty minutes until they left. She walked over to the black garment bag and unzipped. Her mouth dropped.

 

Oh my god. She expected a skimpy little outfit for the club but this? This was full on gown. It was a black long sleeve, deep v-neck lace gown... The bodice was fitted, and it had a long a line skirt that fell elegantly to the floor. Holy fuck. What the hell was going on? Ellie walked out into the living room and her eyes widened. All her friends were dressed in beautiful gowns.

 

“Uhm... guys, what the fuck is going on?” Ellie asked as they all turned their attention to her.

 

“Christ, you’re not even dressed?” Kaia groaned. “Car’s gonna be here any minute--Let’s go,” she said, dragging Ellie back to her room.

 

“Kaia, what the fuck-”

 

“Don't what the fuck me. It's a surprise,” she said giddly. “Now get dressed or I'm sending Clair in.” Ellie narrowed her eyes.

 

“But... but what—”

 

“GET DRESSED!” She shoved Ellie back in her room. With a sigh, she took down the gown and quickly got in it. Perfect fit. She slid on the black high heels Clair put next to her bed and looked at her reflection. She looked... amazing. And for the first time in a while, she smiled a bit. Wow. She missed that feeling. But it was then she noticed the tag fall to the floor and she picked it up curiously... $2500? Jesus Christ.

 

“KAIA!” Ellie yelled opening the door. She swooped in and Kaia covered her mouth. “Kaia, where the hell did you get a $2500 dress--what are you looking at?”

 

“My best friend’s fucking gorgeous,” she said, smiling widely.

 

“Ellie, you look incredible,” Anna said, leaning into her girlfriend’s shoulder.

 

“Guys, where are we going--” Ellie said, blushing a bit. The front door opened and revealed Liam.

 

“Car’s outside—Whoa. You clean up nice,” he said with a smirk. Ellie flipped him off. “All right, let’s head out.”

 

“Why is he in a suit?” Ellie said as Clair and Anna dragged her by her arms towards the hall.

 

“You ask a lot of annoying questions. Can't you just accept a surprise for once?” Kaia said, taking Liam’s hand as they got on the elevator.

 

“Uhm, do we not remember that I’m a control freak?” Ellie groaned as the elevator beeped and they all stepped off. There was a large black escalade waiting out front. They threw Ellie in the front seat as the rest of them loaded into the back. Ellie’s nerves were on edge.  Where the hell were they kidnapping her?

  
  


After a 20 minute ride, they appeared in front of the MoMa. Her head tilted in confusion. Out front were velvet ropes, one side filled with screaming girls and the other filled with cameras and reporters. She turned to her friends.

 

“Are we at an art opening?” She asked as they all ignored her and exited the car. The driver opened the door for Ellie and took her hand, helping her down. She thanked him and held tightly to her small clutch.

 

“Listen, when we go in there... Do not have a meltdown,” Kaia said thoughtfully before smiling and walking down the middle through both sides of screaming people. The flashes went off and Liam leaned down, kissing her forehead for a moment before they entered the glass double doors. Ellie watched as Anna and Gwen followed them, along with Clair and Hero. Her heart sped up a bit. How the fuck did they score tickets to an exhibit opening? Especially one at the MoMa. After everyone entered, she suddenly felt a bit alone, but then someone tapped her shoulder. She turned around and her eyes landed on a pair of beautiful forest green ones.

 

Harry.

 

Her breath caught as she saw him in a beautiful dark floral print silk suite. His hair was swooped back, making him look elegant.

 

“‘Lo, love,” he said softly. She watched as his eyes took her in. He bit his bottom lip and smiled up at her. “You look stunning.”

 

“What... what's going on?” She stuttered. He gently took her hand, waiting for her to pull back or run into the car. But instead, she stayed, her gaze fixated on him like she was seeing a ghost.

 

“Come with me,” he said, leaning down and kissing her cheek. He guided her up the steps and through the crowd, not stopping as lights flashed and fans screamed. Every chance he got, he’d look at her. She was her own work of art, painted with beautiful red lips and soft highlight on her cheeks. He opened the glass door for her and they walked in hand in hand.

 

“Harry, what--” Her voice halted as she froze in place. He watched her examine the walls, each of her works hung and mounted beautifully alongside each other. He slowly walked her in and she followed beside him.

 

Her heart was beating through her ribs as she looked at the walls. It was her paintings. All of them. Neatly hung next to each other, small plaques underneath identifying them. She covered her mouth and turned to the man next to her, whose smile only brightened at her reaction.

 

“W-what is all this?” She said, almost forgetting how to speak. He kissed her knuckles. “Harry... you did this?”

 

“I wanted to celebrate you. I wanted you to see what the world sees, Ellanore.” 

 

She felt her throat close and tears welling in her eyes. As they walked on, more and more of her pieces were displayed around the room. People stood, admiring and gushing over the photos and sketches. Each one fawning over her art. Hers.

 

“Why?” She whispered next to him. He turned.

 

“Because,” he said, turning to her, “You are one of the most incredibly talented women I’ve ever met. And you have been knocked down and chaffed for choosing to follow your dream. You deserve this, Ellanore.” She wiped a stray tear from her cheek. “Come with me,” he said, holding his hand out. She looked at it before interlocking her own. It felt right. It felt like home.

 

Ellie saw her friends with glasses of champagne by the open bar. They all smiled at her encouragingly as Harry took her around the exhibit. He put up all of it. All her paintings, all her sketches, all her photographs she had printed.

 

“I noticed you haven't been to your studio in a while,” he said from alongside her. She turned to look at him. “There was a foreclosure sign on it.”

 

“With my internship, I haven't been able to pick up hours.” She shrugged. “It’s alright, though, hopefully I get hired by September and I’ll be able to rent it again.” With sudden realization, she turned to him. “Wait… why were you at the studio?” She watched as he frowned and his cheeks reddened.

 

“Had a bit of a hard time these past few weeks...” She can tell he was embarrassed. Her heart broke. Fuck. What was wrong with her? “I’d, ehm.. go there and just sort of stare at your art. Did a bit of drinking as well...” She swallowed the lump in her throat. Maybe she was wrong. “When I saw the foreclosure sign, I immediately hired a moving crew and rented out a storage unit at the apartment.”

 

“Harry, you didn't have to do that—”

 

“I wanted to. These beautiful pieces you created, they’re to valuable to me. At the time, they were all I had left of you.” They were suddenly stopped when a very well-dressed man and woman approached Harry. Harry smiled and hugged them both. He introduced them to Ellie as Ben and Meredith.

 

“Harry, this is incredible. First music, then cinema... now you’re an expert art enthusiast,” the man said, clapping him on the back. Harry chuckled.

 

“Whatcha think about the works, then?” Ellie looked at him curiously, wondering why he didn't tell them that she was actually the artist.

 

“I’m blown away, where did you find the artist?” Ben asked.

 

“She’s a bit private, but agreed to let me show her work this one night.”

 

“So talented. You did good, mate.” As they said their goodbyes, Harry was then approached by a shorter man with glasses. He introduced himself as Theo Rottenburg from an art magazine. One that Ellie frequently subscribed to. She held her breath, waiting to hear the man's thoughts.

 

“Mr. Styles, an honor to finally meet the man who brought all this together.” He shook Harry’s and Ellie’s hands.

 

“Honor is all mine. Truly. So I’m wondering, what are you thoughts?” Harry asked with a sly smile as the man began his ravings.

 

“Mr. Styles, I’ve been to a lot of these openings the past year... but I believe this is by far my favorite.” Harry felt Ellie’s hand start to shake a bit. He gripped it tightly and brought it to his side, stroking it with his thumb. He smiled at her. “The black and white photographs are definitely my favorite. They bring realism and harshness to them. It’s very sharp, but at the same time, always portraying a soft beauty of anatomy to the photo. It’s astonishing to say the least. An artist who is able to bring real emotion to their work, and in so many mediums is... remarkable. I hope whoever they are, they really keep up with it.”

 

“As do I,” Harry agreed. He turned to see that Ellie’s eyes had watered up again, but she was wearing the most breathtaking smile. One he hadn’t seen on her in far too long. It was like she was opening up again and freeing herself from her darkness.

 

“There is one particular painting that... I’d love to put in my paper,” Theo said, his smile growing as he escorted both Ellie and Harry to the furthest back wall. On this wall, there were no other works except for one large one taking up a huge portion of the space. Harry heard Ellie gasp and she turns to him in shock. “This piece caught me from across the room. It’s magical. The movement and the depth to it even though there's only one color.” Harry watched as Ellie let go of his hand and walked towards the framed, mounted painting. He bit his lip as she ran her fingers over it. When she turned back to him, Theo smiled and excused himself leaving Harry there alone.

 

“H-harry... is this... it’s-”

 

“Us,” he said simply, nodding. The way his heart rate increased and his palms became sweaty, he prayed in that moment she realized just what she meant to him. “I’m thinking of moving to a bigger penthouse just so I can hang it on a wall in our—my room,” he said, catching himself. “It’s my favorite...” His voice trailed off nervously.

 

And then it happened. Tears fell down her beautiful red-tinted cheeks, her hands shook and her feet quickly took her forward. She pressed her lips to his and he reacted immediately. There was desperation and she ran her hands through his beautiful greased chestnut curls. He wanted to stay. He wanted her for her. All of her. And he wasn't going to stop. She gasped and pulled away for air but crashed her lips to his once again. He could feel her tears against his cheeks and he pulled back wiping them away with the pads of his thumb.

 

“My love, why are you crying?” He said softly, cooing at her as she let out a sob. She shook her head and rested it against his.

 

“I-I just missed you so m-much.” Her voice cracked as he held back his own emotions. He leaned down and kissed her once more, his hands pulling her waist to his. His beautiful girl. His beautiful masterpiece, in his arms. He had her back.

 

“Missed you too, petal, missed you so goddamn much.” When he finally pulled away, she was still shaking a bit. He shook his head. “None of that, m'not going anywhere anymore. Bolt the damn door if I have to,” he said, laughing lightly and earning a giggle from her. She wiped at her face and looked deeply into his eyes.

 

“You really do love me? Even if I’m t-this trainwreck of a human?” She said, smiling a bit.

 

“Bub, I’ll love you for whatever you are as long as I’m breathing...” He pushed a strand of hair from her face. “If you’ll let me, I will never give up on you.”

 

“H-harry... people like my work. People actually like what I make,” she whispered in disbelief. She sounded like she was trying to convince herself it wasn't a dream.

 

“This world deserved to see the real you... the one hidden in all the colors you paint with and all the photos you capture.” Just like when he was performing, he let the world see his other side. The one he doesn't show always. The playful, emotional one. Once again, her lips found there ways to his and she pulled his neck towards hers in hunger. The torture they had both felt from being apart for so long showed through the eagerness of her hands and kiss.

 

“Fuck, I missed you.” She pecked him again and he laughed.

 

“As much as it would turn me on to take you in the floor of an art gallery...” He whispered out as she groaned and rested her forehead on his shoulder. “When you come home tonight... we have a lot to catch up on.” He stayed there for a moment, holding her close and pressing a kiss to her temple.

 

“I’m so sorry, Harry...” she said, looking up at him. “I almost murdered our relationship.”

 

“More like stabbed it repeatedly, but... never murdered it,” he said, raising an eyebrow. She swatted his arm and he laughed. “But enough of that... I should've known that devil had something to do with it as well.” Ellie looked up.

 

“You know about Nadine?”

 

“Course... Liam told me everything. Can't believe she pulled that… Actually, no, wait. Yes, I can. She wouldn't even spend holiday with me,” He pondered. Ellie giggled, knowing that he would've never went with her. That's why she was fine with saying yes.

  
  


As the night progressed, with more and more patrons admiring her creations, Harry stayed glued to her side. He swore he'd make it the last time she walked out, because he'd chase her to the ends of the earth if he needed to. But little did he know she was far from ever thinking of leaving him again.

  
  



End file.
